“That’s different and you know it.”
“How so? They stay gone for months. Thom gets one two-week break half-way through his year-long tour. He comes home one time, Stefan. In an entire year. How is that different than what you do?”
Stefan looked like she’d shot him. He held his hands over his midsection and hunched over before he righted himself again.
“I don’t know. It just is. I’m not laying my life on the line for anyone.”
“But you’re putting it on hold so you can make all those people who love your music happy.” She wouldn’t stop now. “I bet if you were with someone, you’d find a way to see that person, no matter how far away you were. And I bet that person would be thankful, and…” Her eyes welled up with tears again. “So very happy for each moment, no matter how short or how much time passed between visits. Or how big of a mean jerk you could be sometimes.”
The amount of time he stayed with his head bowed down killed Dani. Losing him in a couple days hadn’t hurt before because she realized she’d held out hope that things would work out between them. That her Superman would figure it out and fix it all. He’d invite his mom to Nashville and Dani too. All she needed was an invitation and his ability to wait two measly months for her to arrive.
“Stefan, look at me.”
She waited patiently.
“I’ll just hurt you, Dani. Don’t you get it? I fucking love you and I’d hurt you.”
Her breath tunneled around her lungs and her knees threatened to give out but she wouldn’t stop until she’d convinced him he would not do that. Not if he … not if he loved her. The way she loved him back.
“Why do you keep saying that? Leaving, when it’s your job, doesn’t hurt the one you love.”
Her mind was nearly useless after his use of the L word. Maybe he was trying to tell her he wouldn’t be faithful.
“You don’t understand me, Dani.”
“Then help me out here. Are you saying you’d sleep around on the road? Is that some inevitable part of you being Stefan Calderon, bass player?”
Crap. He wasn’t answering her.
“Fuck, I don’t know. Maybe. I’ve never been tested like that.”
“What the hell do you mean?”
Again he went silent. And this time he got up out of his stool and walked to the sink. As if they hadn’t just been in an industrial sized conversation, he reached up and pulled a glass from a cupboard and filled it with water. He guzzled the entire thing down then filled it up and walked back over to her. He set the glass down in front of her, nudging her hand which she realized was in a tight fist.
“Fighting can’t be good for the baby. Dinner’s getting cold. Let’s eat. Then maybe we’ll talk more.”
Maybe we’ll talk more? Who did he think he was? Ending their discussion like that. But her chest had tightened and she knew he was right when she took in a deep breath and felt the built up tension leave and her body relax back to normal.
She hated that he was right. But if he thought she wouldn’t fight for him, he was dead wrong. She took the glass of water, emptying it then handed it back to him.
“What did you get?”
She could play nice while they ate. He loved her.
Stefan brought their plates over. He sat down across from her and stabbed a peapod and a chunk of pink salmon, shaking his head as he bit the food from the fork and chewed. He stabbed another and another bite.
Whoever had made this man, had gotten so many things so very right. No matter that all those things combined made her absolutely crazy.
He loved her. He’d said so.
She chewed, and tried not to cry smile.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Stefan remembered never to order salmon again when he lived thirty miles from the closest restaurant willing to deliver. Or when a fight was pending with the woman he loved but couldn’t keep, and the fish was going to set out for longer than he planned.
She looked like he’d treated her to a feast fit for royalty but it was just take out. Dani was taking such care with each bite. Shit, he hadn’t been paying her enough. It was something he would fix. He could imagine her face when he told her he wanted to up her salary since he wasn’t separating his mom and her. She’d probably spit fire and spear him with eye daggers. Well, he would never tell her. But the thought of doing things like that for her managed to make him hard. He adjusted himself below the table and watched her chew. As soon as she was done he’d send her home, hoping she would forget his declaration.
“That was good. Thank you. I was really hungry.”
He was just glad she wasn’t yelling, forcing him to talk about shit he’d be better off forgetting. He never should have said he loved her. It was a selfish move, but he couldn’t take it back now.
“You’re welcome.”
The shorter his answers, the longer the looks she gave him.
When she finally got to her dessert, he was mesmerized as she pulled her fork out of her mouth for the last time and he imagined how lucky the berries were. Now was the time to send her home. Why bother fighting some more only to have to send her off anyway? He reminded himself that he couldn’t keep her and he didn’t want to have to explain why.
“Dani, you should go back home now.”
“I knew you’d say that. And it’s not happening. Not unless we go together.”
Stubborn pain in his ass. Fuck, he didn’t want her to leave.
“What are you doing, Dani?”
“I forgot my sister picked this out for me a few summers ago when we got sunburns and needed extra loose clothing. Luckily it fits.”
Her rambling blew dangerous gusts over the fire already burning inside him.
“That’s not what I asked you.”
“But you like it?” she asked, killing him with her hiked shoulder.
Stefan stood up. He took two steps until he stood directly in front of her. “You know I fucking like it.” He grabbed her hand and pulled it away from the strap where she nearly untied the halter top. “Get your ass home, now.”
“Or else what, Stefan?”
“Don’t play with me, Dani. This isn’t a game.”
“Oh, but I thought that’s exactly what our whole time together has been. It’s too bad, you know.”
“What’s too bad?” His jaw clenched so tight he barely got that out. What the hell was she thinking, baiting him like that?
“That you’re so god damned afraid to win.”
“I’m not afraid, sweetheart.” But there was nothing sweet about the feelings welling up in him. The taste in his mouth was bitter as he thought about the shit keeping Dani from him. He kept her wrist in his fist and pushed her until her back met up with the wall. He’d been gentle so as not to hurt her. He pinned her wrists to the wall in both his hands and leaned down so that he spoke inches from her face. His lips ached to kiss her. “What the fuck is so hard for you to understand. I. Don’t. Want. To. Hurt. You. The only way to keep that from happening is for you to go back to my mom’s. Done. Finished. Not playing this shit with you, Dani.” A thousand slaps would have felt better than having to speak to her that way.
“Let go of my wrists, Stefan.”
Instantly, he obeyed her wish. At last, she’d seen his reason and was grabbing her purse to leave. But no, she only took it to put the baby picture from her dress pocket back inside. She took two steps toward the stairs.
“Dani,” he said, tiring of not being able to just love her.
“If you’re not afraid to win, prove it. Once and for all.” She made her way up the stairs, one slow step at a time, and disappeared into the bathroom.
Fuck. He waited at the bottom, squeezing his eyes tight to block out the vision of her swishing, fine ass. If this was love, how the fuck had the world continued to populate? Because it was doing its best to kill him. No wonder Will couldn’t go through this shit again. But Stefan also knew in that moment that there was no stopping it. If he went up those stairs, he wasn�
��t coming back down until he made her his.
He bit back a curse and swallowed hard. Then he took the stairs, one at a time.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Stefan stepped inside the bathroom and pulled her closer to him by one lock of her shiny black hair. “Fine. Since you’re being so stubborn. But you asked for this.”
Right before her very wanton eyes, he stripped out of his clothes, without shame for standing there completely naked in front of her. For a few seconds, he didn’t move or look directly at her. Which was different. Stefan always made strict eye contact, but not now. It reminded her that this hadn’t been his idea.
Dani’s eyes dropped with the sting but slowly she let herself take him in. His feet were planted there, a hip’s width apart and it was the same stance she’d seen many times at the house. Him in front of the fridge, him out on the porch. The cocky pillar pose when he wasn’t budging for anyone or anything. His legs were much longer than she realized but the same natural tan as his chest. As if that was what she was really focusing on. Before she could ogle his front any longer and how at rest, his penis hung almost to the middle of his thigh, he turned and stepped into the huge round tub, giving her the full view of his ass.
Inside, she made a sloppy aww sound.
Stefan had a bubble butt which made her smile because it was sexy as hell rounding out from his thighs. Two thick muscles framed either side of his back that was so broad, just looking at it left her feeling protected. His neck. The black hairs curling as they grew up his hairline trickled along the tattoos that sprang from his arms and connected in an arch over the top of his back.
Jet-made bubbles floated over the top of the water, hiding nothing from her view as he sat down and hung his arms cockily over the sides of the tub. The perk was her view of him right now. The drawback was that now she had to undress while he awaited and watched. Maybe he was counting on her not being able to follow through. She’d show him.
Dani pulled her long hair up into a makeshift bun and tied it around itself on top of her head then reached behind her neck to untie her dress’s halter top. Once she did that, it fell loosely to the ground. He smiled more to himself than for her benefit, she was sure. She liked that about him. No shame, even though she’d bated him up here and he’d clearly preferred she just go home.
Next she stepped out of her sandals. Finally, his grin appeared, although only for a second. Yes, he must be aware she was wishing she had more to strip off but all that remained were her bra and panties.
An awareness came over Dani just then, just like it had that morning when the nurse had rubbed the ultrasound wand over her. When she looked down at her white cotton panties hugging her hips, she saw the bump of her belly sticking out. Like she had a kid-sized ball tucked under her skin. It was so hard not to get lost in the little man growing in there, now that she’d seen him. She didn’t just feel bloated now. She felt like a mother.
Before she knew it, splashes sloshed around and the gorgeous, brooding man soaking in the tub stood toe to toe with her. Water gushed off Stefan’s wonderfully large and shiver-inducing body and onto the floor but he didn’t seem to care. His large feet were planted right by hers and his black hairs ran down his long legs in streams. Dani’s hands now rested over her belly, mesmerized as she was, picturing her baby boy floating in there, happy. Asleep because he wasn’t kicking her.
Unless she was hallucinating, she felt Stefan’s arms wrap around her and pull her in for a hug she was so grateful for. His chest, God his chest. But what he was really doing was unclasping her bra. It fell to the floor by her dress. She’d taken too long and he wanted what he wanted. What she’d dangled in front of him at the front door. His wet, warm hands skimmed down her sides, making her shiver. She waited to feel her panties being torn off but what she felt were his hands covering hers over her belly.
His hands stayed over hers while he rested his chin on top of her head. A hiccup or a cry tried to escape her mouth but she held it in because she didn’t want to ruin this moment. Yes, it was incredibly sexy but she’d never felt more cared for in all her life when his hands moved to her back and rubbed.
Vaguely, she remembered she still had her good news to share with him. But the power of this moment had claimed her. Stefan wanted her this way, he was so evidently turned on by her as she felt his every hard muscle and member slowly coming to life along her hip, making her shiver in response.
“Stefan, there’s something I want to tell you. I don’t have to say it right now, just please don’t let me forget. You’ll want to hear it. Two things.”
“What?”
She wanted to scream that they could have sex, just to make it official but the look on his face said he’d already guessed. Was she that easy? Yeah, but she didn’t care because she wasn’t alone. This man hugging her to his hard hot body was easy too. There was no shame in being this way together. He’d never believe her that Gina had agreed to move. If she could remember to spit it out.
His lips moved over each other like he was smoothing lip balm over them.
“Come to Nashville with me.” It was a low, dark whisper.
Her ears must have water in them. But no, in her fog she remembered she hadn’t gotten in the tub yet.
Her voice left her the deeper his became.
“I want you to come. And my mom. I’ll,” he paused and kissed her shoulder. “I am buying a house and I want you both with me. I know it’s wrong, and you have every right to say no, but that’s what I want.”
She couldn’t move but felt a murmur leave her lips.
“Shh, don’t answer me now. Let’s get in the tub and you can tell me your good news.” He laid a scorching trail of wet kisses up and down her throat. But the only coherent thought she could make was that he’d asked her! A thousand emotions must be hammering across her face. She couldn’t leave with him in two days but in two months, he’d get both her and his mom. If he could wait. Unaware if she was supposed to speak or just free fall into the warmth of his invitation, she followed him into the tub.
****
That scrambled look she got. Fuck. Why had he thrown that out there?
“Stefan?” she asked. He wanted to stop her from saying the word NO before it fell off her sweet lips. But something told him he was going to have to hear this out. “That means so much to me.” A tear dropped from her eye and he hadn’t even seen it form. “More than you can ever know.”
“But?” he said.
“Just that I can’t go right away. But soon, two months.” Her voice kicked up at the end like she doubted he’d wait for he. God, she was wrong.
“Really?” He was stunned and a huge part of him didn’t believe he was hearing her right. Stefan cupped handfuls of her hair, wishing he could snap his fingers and make everything work how and when he wanted it. Not in two months, but now goddamit.
Trista’s words rang in his ears. It felt like the world was fucking with him and he was not thrilled. But Dani was right. He knew she was. How fucking unfair was it that this Thom had broken her heart in an email yet the world would come crashing to an end before she even dreamed of not speaking with him face to face?
He heard her begin to cry, a steady stream of tears and hiccups. His arms were around her, holding her tight. He couldn’t see her like this but he was the only one allowed to protect and surround her until she felt better.
“Hey, what’s this all about, huh?” He had to make it stop.
“I hate saying no to you.” Her voice hitched and the cries became wet. She sniffed.
Stefan caressed her back, her sides and her shoulders, realizing he had to be patient. That she was worth it. “I understood that to be a yes but not right now,” he whispered the truth to her, not caring about the pain it caused him to have to share her in any capacity with any other man. Two months wasn’t that long, he reminded himself. He could see them living a life, a fun life that meant something. One where he was happy most days. “There are places I want to take you.
Fuck, I want you on tour with me, sweetheart.” He ran his fingers through her hair and massaged her scalp that she let fall heavily into his hands. But he knew that was impossible. “If I could just get you to Nashville. Now.” His hands roamed over her body, harder now, greedier. “But I can’t take you away from my mom. There’s still that.” His nose nuzzled past all her hair so that he could suckle her neck.
She cried out a tiny moan, which he loved. “You didn’t remind me. That was part of my good news,” she said, her voice huskier than it had been before. What was she saying? “I talked to your mom. She says she’s willing to give Tennessee a try if…” Her voice trailed off as she stretched her neck for him.
“If what?”
“If I am, she is. And if you’re willing to wait and let me do what I have to do with Thom. Then she’s on board.”
Mom didn’t want him to rush Dani and have it come back to bite him in the ass. Just like she’d said.
“She loves you. Like a daughter. She told me that.” His mom was wise and Stefan could learn a thing or two from her.
His fingers hadn’t felt enough of Dani’s body and he adjusted so he could skim his hands down her thick, luscious thighs. God, her ass felt so good. He wanted to lay a kiss to her belly but he held back and stayed nibbling at the peach fuzz near her earlobe stealing glances down the front of her body, over her full breasts and between them to her swollen belly.
“Dani, how can I take you away from your life here? In what universe am I that worthy? So what, I’m a fucking musician? Are you sure?” She, a twenty something young woman had to be the one to have the unselfish thought of taking the time to do the right things. She was so much better than him. If he pushed too hard without making it clear what she was getting herself into with him, that’s what he could see coming back to bite him in the ass. If he ever disappointed Dani like he’d done his mom, he’d never get over it. He’d be just like Will. Stuck. “This beautiful baby growing in your belly isn’t mine. He belongs to a young man risking his life for our country.” Dani twirled on him and kissed his shoulder. She ran her hand up and touched the stubble growing back on his face. His abs shuddered when she started touching the ink running up his ribs on the side using the lightest touch of her fingertips.
Wicked Flower Page 22
