I walked away from Liam’s bedroom feeling very proud of myself. When I got to our bedroom Dean said, “That was an ordeal, right?” But no, it hadn’t felt like an ordeal. I was happy to spend forty-five minutes making my child feel comfortable and safe. I couldn’t imagine having anything better to do with my time. I was confident. It felt natural. I wasn’t a new, inexperienced parent anymore. I was a real mother, and it made me happy to see my son growing, to see Liam realizing that he could go to sleep with me instead of Dean. I saw it as a breakthrough. I told Dean, “No, it was fine. We’re adjusting a learned behavior. It takes time.”
Dean and I are learning to share our parenting, to balance experience and inexperience, and to talk through the hard patches. We don’t have to be on the same page every minute. No matter how busy our day is or if we’re having a disagreement, we always take moments throughout the day to stop, to hug and kiss, and to tell each other how much we love each other. Dean is really good at initiating that. Our challenge is to balance the newness of our family with our different experiences. But undertaking new adventures with the wisdom and experience that life brings is what it’s all about. Dean is my soul mate, and I’m always grateful to be growing a family with him.
Just the other night, Dean went to take Liam up to bed. Liam turned and said, “Mama.” My heart. Oh my God! He was in Dean’s arms but he wanted me. I took him, trying to be cool. I said to Dean, “Isn’t this good?”
And Dean said, “My heart’s breaking a little bit right now, but yes, it’s good.” Halfway up the stairs Liam changed his mind. He reached out for Dean. But for those first five steps he wanted his mama. There’s hope for me yet.
There are worse things for my children than a Hollywood childhood. I have some fond memories of my own. I think again about the Christmas snow that my parents famously arranged to have delivered to our backyard so their Los Angeles children would have a white Christmas. I’m definitely doing it. I don’t know how much it costs, but even if all I can afford is to spread bags of crushed ice across a sandbox, I’m doing it. The Christmas snow is something Jenny, Mehran, and my other friends have been hearing about for years. The snow wasn’t really a family tradition; my parents only did it twice. But that extravagance—the jokes we’ve made about it over the years—that is a tradition between me and my friends. We’ll have a big chuckle over doing it for our children. And I know that over the years we’ll create our own traditions—simple traditions, extravagant ones, silly ones, and romantic ones. I look at my children—they’re still so small—and feel grateful for the years of memories that we have ahead of us.
I spent so long wanting and trying to change my life. I’ve accepted and embraced “Tori Spelling,” and I’m trying in my work to make the most out of being true to myself. The same goes for me as a mother. My kids may not have a normal life. I may be raising them in Mommywood. But I love them, and no matter if we’re appearing on red carpets, getting the neighbors in a tizzy, or being documented in weekly magazines, love is love.
Acknowledgments
In my first book, sTORI telling, I thanked the friends, family, and colleagues who were instrumental in my life as I was growing up and were supportive of the woman I had become. I’m happy to say that the cast of characters hasn’t changed. All of those same wonderful people still have my eternal gratitude and love!
For this book I’d like to thank the people who have been a huge part in making me the mom I am today.
Dean…Babe, thank you for giving me our two beautiful babies and loving us to no end. You have made me the confident wife and mother I am today, and I am hopelessly in love with you forever. You and I together have created a beautiful family and love story, my prince! You are our everything.
Mehi…I always knew you loved me, but the love you’ve shown my children has amazed me. As my gay husband you’ve stepped up and taken on daddy duties when needed. Who knew you would jump in to change a poopy diaper? I love you for that. I love you for all that you are to me and my family. You are eternally my Chic Rock!
Jenny…Thank you for being the wealth of baby knowledge that you are. I look to you as a young woman looks to her mom when she becomes a mom herself. Your guidance has been invaluable and your love for family is priceless. You are my sister, my best friend, and one hell of an aunt! With you my kids will never have a shortage of love and laughter.
Scout and Bill…Liam and Stella’s Guncles! I always longed for family members who would shower my own children with love, support, and gifts. Now I have them. I tear up every time I see you with my babies and see how your love for them is so abundant and effortless. When my children are with you I feel 100 percent safe. And, with all of my irrational fears, we all know how hard it is for me to achieve that feeling of safety.
Amy and Sara…Thank you for being true girlfriends and sisters to me. I love that my kids have such loving aunts.
To Jennifer, Marcel, Suzanne, and Brandy…I love you with all my heart and am so happy that you are a part of my children’s lives. Each of you has a unique personality that will indeed add to their character and true being.
Daddy and Nanny…Your love and guidance made me the parent I am today. I hope I have made you proud and I know you look down on your two beautiful grandchildren every day with smiles from above.
Jack…You are an amazing big brother! Liam and Stella adore you and so do I.
Mimi…Thank you for teaching me patience and loving me till the end. You will always be in my heart.
Uncle Danny and Aunt Kay…Thank you for being so good to my kids. You shower them with love and gifts and me with endless encouragement.
My dogs…Thanks for your patience with the kids. Tail-pulling can’t be fun!
Isabel, Patsy, and Paola…Thank you for loving my babies as if they were your own. All three of you are dear family to us.
Dr. J…Thanks for bringing my two beautiful babies into this world safely, expertly, and with a few laughs along the way.
Dr. Wexler…Thanks for your patience, kindness, and guidance toward couple and mommywood bliss.
Dr. Sonya Gohill…Thank you for your amazing care of Liam and Stella and always patiently dealing with all of my questions and irrational fears.
Ruthanne…To call you my amazing agent doesn’t do you justice; to call you my champion does. You’re my wingman and my friend for life. Let’s continue to build the dream together. I love you!
Gueran…Others crumbled, you rallied. You believed, therefore I am. Super agent, even better friend. My family is eternally grateful to you. T Bag 4 Life!
Jacob…You have been a great agent to Dean and me, but your friendship is beyond. We are as dedicated to you as you are to us. Fish tank or no fish tank.
Meghan and Jill…You helped the Little Engine That Could get to the top of the hill and now it’s full steam ahead. You are amazing publicists, but your personal investment in and unbelievable dedication to me and my family has made you friends for life.
Jamie…You’ve been an amazing lawyer and friend. I know you have big clients, yet you still take time to be instrumental in building, executing, and protecting all of my dreams.
Oxygen…Thank you for being the network that believed, cultivated, and built my dream.
World of Wonder…Your passion and excitement make me believe in myself. Your love for my family makes you all dear friends.
Thank you to the rest of my team for your hard work and love…Rachael at PMK; my agents at UTA; my lawyers at Jackoway, Tyerman, Wertheimer, Austin, Mandelbaum & Morris; and Gary, Eleanor, and everyone at Kessler Schneider.
And to the key players who made this book possible…
Hilary Liftin…Once again you captured my voice to a tee. You make my book me. And we have fun doing it! Thank you. And ohhh, the stories I already have for our next book!
Dan Strone…Thanks again for making my second book a reality.
Jen Bergstrom…my fabulous publisher, who so gets me. Thank you for always believing in
me and encouraging me to rock it!
Patrick Price…My talented and hilarious editor and friend. The ride with you has been amazing and it makes me want to do another book just to continue our witty email banters. You make me confident and you make me smile.
Michael Nagin…Thank you, my talented art director, for always letting my type-A personality be a part of the process down to the miniscule details.
Mike Rosenthal…Again, thank you for capturing the essence of me and my book in photographs.
Jennifer Robinson…Thank you for your hard work, continuing to make people aware and garner my stories great publicity.
And to Simon Spotlight Entertainment/Simon & Schuster…Thanks again for giving my voice a home.
This book is dedicated to Liam and Stella: my beautiful babies, my angels on earth, my greatest gifts ever, and the best part of me. I love you with all that I am.
Love, Tori
Photographic Insert
My Little Monkey’s First Birthday Party
Okay, I get it—perhaps slightly terrifying to a twelve-month-old.
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Confirmed! Completely terrifying. Note to self: small cake sans jungle animals next year.
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All the bells and whistles and Liam is happiest with the decorative bananas. Didn’t I learn anything from my childhood?
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Red Cheese
The McDermotts SAY CHEESE!
My homemade red velvet cake for the block party…moments before it came crashing down!
Liam and wagon all decorated to fit in at the Beaver Avenue Fourth of July block party.
Do we fit in? Me and the Guncles lawning it to watch Fourth of July festivities.
My Suburban Dream?!
Just another day for Liam in L.A.: sunshine, cameras, and lounging in an inflatable duckie.
Liam Lovefest
My little man learns to walk and I learn to balance the beach ball…er, belly that’s about to pop!
Mommy and her boy enjoy a swim…pre-pool-poo incident.
I meet my precious girl for the first time. She’s so beautiful!
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As they take her away to measure her, overwhelming fear hits me that I no longer can completely protect her.
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A Stella Is Born!
I have my loving husband, little boy, and now baby girl…complete bliss.
Mimi La Rue—a True Star
Mimi, the protector.
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Mimi always knew her good angle!
Malibu Mimi—bikini ready.
Stella Shines
Stella’s first head shot…that’s a joke, by the way!
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Subliminal message: Don’t worry, Mommy. You and I are going to have a very special mother/daughter bond.
Hours after giving birth to Stella…It’s just another day in Mommywood as I sign my book sTORI telling for a nurse.
Halloween ’08
The BEE Family.
My little Ladybug proudly dons her kinda-made-by-mama costume.
The family that dresses up together, stays together.
Liam riding the sugar high.
Perhaps the next Michael Phelps?
My little man’s got mad style!
The Guncles partake in Liam’s fave hobby—swimming.
My besties—Jenny and Mehran.
Don’t all moms garden and drink champagne with their baby nurses?
Liam processes the existence of his new sister Stella.
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Stella and Liam wait for the Great Pumpkin.
Liam and Stella with their big brother, Jack.
Dean’s an amazing daddy. My proudest shot.
Daddy’s Biker Boy!
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There’s a tree with shiny lights, tons of baked goods, and a man named Santa brings me gifts? I could get used to this holiday—even if Mom makes us wear matching jammies.
My beautiful family.
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Mommywood Page 18
