“Let me take her.” Ryder asked, holding out a thermal blanket.
Tony shook his head and wrapped up her stiff body himself then started for the riverbank holding her tight against his body as if he could infuse his warmth and life into her. Tears streamed down his cheeks, but he did nothing to hide them. Climbing out of the water, Tony stumbled but quickly recovered, blinking until he could see clearly again. Ryder asked again if he should take her, but Tony shook his head. She was his responsibility.
The paramedic met them on the path above the river, and Tony handed off the tiny body for him to do his perfunctory examination. Unable to watch, Tony turned away, held onto a tree, and leaned over the bank to puke up the energy bar he’d eaten earlier before dry heaving a few times. Ryder squeezed his shoulder but didn’t try to engage him in conversation.
After he could stand upright again, Tony turned to find that the paramedic had finished his examination and wrapped up the tiny body again. Assuming responsibility again, Tony stepped forward to lift her into his arms once more as the paramedic reported to dispatch. Afterward, the three walked together back to where the mother’s body lay.
As Tony approached with his precious armful, the EMT unzipped the body bag, and Tony laid the toddler in her mother’s arms before the EMT rezipped the bag.
Tony felt a squeeze on his shoulder and turned to see Luke. “Sorry, Tony.”
Tony slipped from under Luke’s hand. “I’m okay.” Luke, who had witnessed the death of his pregnant wife in an avalanche on Mount Evans, would have had a tougher time than Tony finding the dead bodies. At least Tony had spared him that.
But Tony would forever be haunted by that little girl’s face, frozen in death.
Megan stood nearby, her face ghostly white. Ryder went over and wrapped his arms around her, and the two held on to each other.
After a few moments, Ryder released her and came back to help Tony pack up their gear. Megan took both search dogs by their leashes, while the rest of the group grabbed on to the handles of the Stokes basket and carried the bodies up the steep riverbank to the ambulance.
Seeing Rafe’s Chevy Tahoe screeching to a stop behind the ambulance, Tony cringed. His brother marched straight toward Tony.
“Didn’t I tell you to stay home?”
Rafe wasn’t supposed to be here, either. “You aren’t on duty today, either.”
“We’re talking about you, not me.”
Angry and frustrated, Tony had had enough of his big brother telling him what to do. He took a deep breath as he watched the ambulance drive off, then turned back to Rafe. “They were my responsibility.” He pointed at his chest for emphasis. “I had to do everything I could to find them.”
Rafe stared him down a moment, breathing hard, then cast his gaze aside as he raked his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t want you to go through that.”
Tony didn’t need to be babied. Not anymore. “It’s part of the job. I’m sure every firefighter with more than a few years on the fire grounds remembers responding to at least one bad call.”
Rafe met his gaze, and Tony thought he caught a glimpse of pain in Rafe’s eyes, but it was masked so quickly, he couldn’t be sure.
“Get in the truck,” Rafe ordered Tony.
“I rode down with Ryder.”
At the same time, Ryder said, “Thanks, Rafe. I’d like to get Megan home.”
Tony couldn’t very well refuse to ride with his brother in that case, so he nodded.
Rafe softened his tone. “Come on, Brother.” Tony stowed his gear and got into the passenger seat. While waiting for Rafe to get behind the wheel, he watched Ryder help Luke and Megan load their gear into Ryder’s truck box and settle the dogs into the extended cab.
Tony tried not to think about the husband and friends of the victims who were about to hear the most devastating news of their lives. He intended to avoid radio and TV news as much as possible for the next week or so.
Not that he’d ever forget those innocent faces pleading with him to save them.
“Why don’t you come over tonight for a beer and pizza?” Rafe asked. “We can talk.”
“Thanks, but I think I’d rather hit the sack early. I’m on duty in the morning.”
Rafe was silent a moment, glancing at Tony long and hard, then nodded as he started the engine. “Call me any time of the day or night. For anything.”
Tony nodded.
Not that he would. Tony had done a lot of growing up in the last two days. He didn’t need his brother coddling him through this.
Chapter Seven
Carm’s group of New York City climbers set out from base camp early Tuesday morning. They’d hiked more than two thousand feet in elevation to Capitol Lake yesterday afternoon to allow for maximum climb time up the peak today. It would take them eight hours to reach Knife Edge nearly three thousand feet above them, traverse it, and hike back to camp. The dramatic and dangerous section known for its razor-sharp rocks was what every climber dreamed about on this fourteener.
This was the hardest standard route for a fourteener Carm had experienced bar none; some said it was the hardest one in the state. But Marc had started taking her onto this peak when she was thirteen, teaching her to respect the mountain and to safely negotiate its standard trail.
Two in Nick’s group of six had experienced altitude problems yesterday. She’d made them drink lots of water and take frequent breaks. They both wanted to attempt the climb today, but if need be, she’d have them sit out the final summit climb just before K2 and Knife Edge and pick them up again on the return trip.
Carm hoped all those making the attempt today had come as prepared as her group. Novices were crazy to attempt Capitol Peak, but every year someone watched a couple of YouTube videos, and suddenly became experts.
Her biggest concern today was a morning mist hanging over the mountain, so they’d delayed starting the hike by two hours. While they’d have liked to enjoy sunrise from the peaks, she wanted to wait for the sun to burn off any remaining moisture on the wet rocks. Safety remained first and foremost in her mind.
“I forget how beautiful it is up here,” Nick said when they took a rest break at a panoramic spot. The CEO brought a team every year from his East Coast corporation to Aspen for a wilderness and leadership bonding retreat. They’d spent Sunday evening and yesterday morning at the resort in seminars and training for their three nights on the mountain.
“Big cities have their charms, too,” Carm said, while checking on current weather conditions for the summit, “but I wouldn’t survive long if I couldn’t see my mountains.” They did feel like hers too. She knew most of the peaks in this part of Colorado like the back of her hand.
“Absolutely gorgeous,” said Shawana, one of two women in this year’s group. A high-level manager in Nick’s Fortune 500 company, Shawana had been a lot of fun to hang out with at the resort and around the campfire last night. “Nick, how many of the people you’ve brought out here have opted to stay in Colorado, rather than go back to New York?”
He laughed. “I pay you guys too well for you to let this scenery lure you away, regardless of how beautiful it is.”
“Ah, so that’s why you gave all of us bonuses before the trip—to keep us from jumping ship out here,” Shawana quipped.
Nick laughed, but Shawana probably wasn’t far off the mark.
After about fifteen minutes, Nick left with Joyce who was more advanced than the others. Carm cautioned them not to start across Knife Edge until she caught up, but let Shawana and the others rest a little longer.
“I don’t know how Nick finds so many go-getters who also take time to appreciate time out of the office,” Carm noted.
Shawana smiled. “Oh, he provides us with a number of incentives like this to help us keep balance in our lives so we don’t burn out.”
“Interesting. I was just talking to my brother about how we both need to find more balance in our lives. In fact, right before we left the resort, I booked
a weeklong getaway to the Caribbean.”
“And leave all this beauty?” she asked, her arm sweeping the view.
Carm laughed. “It’s just for a little more than a week. I could never leave Aspen forever, but a change of scenery will help me appreciate it even more.”
“True dat.” After a few moments, Shawana sobered. “My family lost everything in Katrina.”
“I’m so sorry,” Carm said.
“Thanks. We were relocated to northern New Jersey and then got hit by Hurricane Sandy last year. Honestly, I’m ready to move inland.”
“As far as disasters go, we mostly get wildfires here in the summer and fall and lots of snow the other seven—some years nine—months. Flooding’s a problem too, especially in the spring with the rains and snowmelt.”
“Well, then I’d find myself a house on a mountain where it would take a flood of biblical proportions to wash it away.”
Carm laughed. “Aspen might be a little too sedate for you, but if you want to relocate, look into Denver. My brother Marc has some friends there. They might be able to give you some suggestions on where to live and work.”
As they came closer to K2, the point of no return before Knife Edge, Carm brought her group of four to where Nick and Joyce waited and checked the weather reports again. Looked good.
Two hikers came toward them at a brisk pace, but rather than stick to the standard trail, they veered off onto a steep slope.
“Wait!” Carm called out to them. “That’s not a safe shortcut! You really need to go back the same way you came.”
But the two either didn’t hear her or chose to ignore her warning. Carm nearly went after them but didn’t want to leave her own group. She hoped they’d quickly realize the path they’d chosen was hazardous and return to the main trail.
Returning her focus to her group, she reminded all of them how to approach the popular but dangerous sharp-rocked feature, but two of those with the more severe altitude problems wisely opted to wait for them where they were. She left them with extra water bottles.
While most of the four continuing on wanted to crawl over or straddle the sharp ledge the entire way to the Capitol summit and back, Nick had expressed an interest early on to attempt it upright—at least in some places. Carm gave him the go-ahead after warning him again that the sheer drop-offs could kill him if a strong gust of wind came along at the wrong time. She also cautioned him to watch out for patches of algae still slick with morning moisture. She’d never had anyone she was responsible for injured on an outing before and wasn’t about to have it happen today.
This wasn’t Nick’s first climb, but she’d keep an eye on him and let him know when to go from standing to straddling if need be. Her primary concern, though, would be keeping the less experienced team members from hotdogging to impress their boss.
So far, so good, though. Joyce and Shawana had followed behind Nick, both choosing to straddle the rock. Carm brought up the rear and was about halfway across when Nick made it safely to the other side with a whoop of victory. Knowing Nick was across, Carm took the opportunity to scan the endless mountains surrounding her and admired the view of the three alpine Pierre lakes below as she followed the others inching over the sharp point. In her element, she literally felt as though she was on the top of the world.
Suddenly, an image of Tony flashed across her mind. Not the smiling, carefree man she’d encountered at the reception, but one whose face appeared to have been ravaged by immense sorrow. It was incongruous with Tony’s personality, and she wondered if everything was okay with Marc and Angelina on their honeymoon.
Shrugging off the image, she forced herself to focus again on the climbers ahead of her. But Tony’s distraught face niggled at the back of her mind. A quick glance at her satellite phone didn’t show any messages from Sandro or her parents, but when she got back to base camp, she’d call Sandro just to be sure.
The only other time she’d had any kind of premonition was when her oldest brother, Gino, had been ambushed in Afghanistan. She’d chalked that up to normal worrying about a loved one stationed halfway across the world in a war zone, but days later, her worst fears had been confirmed when they received word that he’d been killed in action.
It was still difficult thinking about the brother she’d lost. She could understand why she’d had that premonition about Gino, but why was Tony invading her thoughts?
He’d be working today, because this would have been Marc’s day to work. Had there been a fire? A bad call? A knot settled in the pit of her stomach. If anything happened to the crew while Marc was in Italy, he’d never forgive himself. When one was hurt, they all suffered.
“Carmella?” Glancing up, she saw Shawana staring back at her with furrowed brows. “Everything all right?”
Shawana and the other climber had already exited the Knife Edge, leaving Carm straddling the sharp rock formation alone. Regaining her focus, she quickly scooted off the Edge and while the others took in the scenery, she prepared for the climb to the summit.
“Are we ready to hit the summit?” Nick asked. She nodded, reminding her group about what they’d encounter at this stage of the climb before they set out.
On Wednesday morning, Rafe walked into the station just before Tony’s shift change but didn’t immediately make eye contact with Tony as he headed straight for the kitchen and the coffee pot.
Normally, Tony would be headed home now, but the battalion chief on Rafe’s shift had told everyone from the station who’d been involved in Sunday’s bad call to be here this morning for the After Action Review.
This was Tony’s first such meeting, so he had no clue what to expect. They’d probably spend an hour or two throwing out woulda-coulda-shoulda scenarios. Tony didn’t wish for something bad to happen, but hoped the tones would drop on some innocuous call—like rescuing a cat from a tree—so he wouldn’t have to face everyone at this AAR he’d been dreading.
He’d been through a grueling two-and-a-half days. After finding the victims two days ago, Tony had gone home and holed up in his apartment for the rest of that day. Texts and voicemails from his family poured in, wanting to make sure he was okay.
Who could be okay after that outcome?
He’d texted everyone back saying he was fine. Lying to his family left a bad taste in his mouth, but he was trained to deal with the possibility of bad outcomes, wasn’t he? What was everyone so worried about?
Hell, where should he start? He hadn’t eaten since that energy bar he’d thrown up Monday morning and had no interest in initiating another disastrous one-night stand. He damned well couldn’t sleep, not even after downing a fifth of bourbon on Tuesday. Every time he closed his eyes, he didn’t see the bodies the way he thought he would. Instead, it was the little girl’s pretty blue eyes in her cherub-like face as she and her mother sat on the roof of the SUV in her last moments waiting for him to rescue them.
Those eyes would haunt Tony for the rest of his life.
Yesterday, he’d come to the station as usual for his twenty-four-hour shift, trying to treat it like any other and not let on to those around him that he was having any issues. Thankfully, it was a quiet shift, with only the EMS crew making calls. Nothing he could screw up. Nobody else had to die.
“Tony. My office.” Rafe said after refilling his travel mug with coffee. Tony figured the fun was going to begin a little earlier for him than it would for Michael and Brad. Rafe had been leaving him messages for days and wouldn’t let Tony ignore him this time.
Inside Rafe’s office, Tony took a seat across the desk from his brother. Rafe looked up as he set his coffee mug on the cluttered surface and scrutinized him longer than usual. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah.” Hoping to cut to the chase and get out of here, he added, “What’s up?”
“You’ve had a couple of shit days. I want to know you’re handling this okay. Don’t deny your reactions. This isn’t anything you can train for.”
What the hell? Rafe wasn’t h
is lieutenant. Tony had deflected his own lieutenant’s concerns when he’d come on duty yesterday. If he’d admit weakness to anyone, it wouldn’t be the brother he’d tried to emulate his whole life.
“Plus, Mama’s worried.”
Ah, this is just a big-brother check-in. “Yeah, well…I needed some time to myself Monday and was here all day yesterday. I’ll go see her tonight.”
Rafe narrowed his eyes at Tony again. Hell, of course that didn’t sound like party-animal Tony who never liked spending time alone.
“See that you do. She’s cooking. Have a nice, quiet family dinner.” Tony was used to Rafe telling him what to do and being protective to the extreme when it came to Mama. Rafe had assumed the role of family patriarch after Papa was killed in the avalanche and had changed all his own plans to step into Papa’s shoes. Driven, Rafe continued to train and study to work his way up the ranks in the fire service.
Tony wondered if things would have been different if Rafe had been able to finish college and pursue a different path in life. Of course, he’d embraced his career with the fire department and seemed content, always trying to achieve more than was expected of him. At the moment, he was studying for his next officer exam.
Rafe took a long swig of his coffee and set the mug on the desk. “Battalion Chief’s on his way. We’ll get started as soon as he arrives.”
If the battalion chief hadn’t made the meeting mandatory, Tony would be long gone. But he’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time on Sunday.
“Sounds good.” Another lie. Tony wanted to get it over with quickly, though, so he could go home. Not that he had any plans on the agenda today. He just needed to get away from people for a while.
I’m damned tired of everyone asking if I’m okay.
Soon after the battalion chief arrived, the crew convened around the kitchen table. In addition to the BC, Rafe, and Tony, the EMT, Fiona, Brad, and Michael were present.
After everyone but Tony had their coffee and doughnuts, the BC stood. “During our last shift on Sunday, we had a high-risk, low-frequency incident.” Yeah, and Tony hoped he’d never have to experience anything like it again. “Thankfully, all of us made it out safely.” His gaze fell on Tony overly long before turning to the whiteboard behind him. “Now, this AAR isn’t about playing the blame game. We’re going to use this time to figure out how we can respond more effectively in the future.” He sketched the layout of the scene on the whiteboard.
TONY: Slow Burn (Raging Fire Book 1) Page 7
