She glanced down before raising her head and meeting Angelina’s gaze. “When you invited me to tonight’s gathering, you may recall I didn’t immediately accept the invitation. But even though I’ve neglected my husband these past six weeks or more, he insisted that I come. He always knows what I need before I do. I have had such a wonderful time with you ladies tonight.”
“I’m so glad you’re here.” Angelina squeezed Cassie’s forearm. “I needed this, too, but it was Marc’s idea that I invite you guys over. I guess our husbands take good care of us.”
Carm was the only single woman in the group and felt a little left out.
Cassie pointed toward the shell and feather. “As I reflected on the meaning of the crow’s feather this morning, I remembered that, as much as I love creating my art, I love my husband much more.” A beautiful smile lit her face as she thought about Luke. Carm hoped she’d have someone that special in her life one day.
“From this moment on, I intend to make sure Luke is the first priority in my life. He rescued me from a reclusive life on a lonely mountain. My artwork has blossomed immensely since I married Luke. I am sure my creativity will only grow stronger when I return balance between my husband and my livelihood.” Her gaze spanned the circle of women’s faces. “Therefore, I intend to present the gift of attention and time together to the man who has made the most significant difference in my adult life.”
Carm didn’t really think being married would do anything other than take her away from her resort and wasn’t yet sure that was something she was prepared for.
Angelina nodded. “I understand completely, Cassie. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in things that we forget to take care of ourselves and our loved ones. I spent the last year getting my restaurant up and running while also devoting an enormous amount of time preparing for our wedding. I thought things would settle down after the honeymoon, but Marc’s paramedic training requires him to put in such insane hours, and the restaurant clientele keeps growing—not that I’m complaining—so we aren’t able to spend much time together.” She glanced down at the deck. “As a result, I’m finding that insecurities about my body are creeping back into my head because Marc isn’t around as much to reassure me. But that’s not his job. Starting tonight, I’m going to bring balance into my life by focusing on what I love about myself. I don’t need to wait for validation from Marc or anyone else.”
“You are beautiful, Angie,” Karla said.
Angelina smiled. “I’m going to make a list of the things I like about myself and add to it daily. Hopefully, the positives will push out the negative thoughts and they won’t intrude on the time Marc and I spend together.”
Karla gave Angelina a hug. “Having you validate that for yourself will be much more meaningful for you.”
After the others reassured Angelina too, Karla said, “I guess I’ll go next. I’m going to lose the guilt around wanting to pursue my singing career again. I’ve spent so much time taking care of the triplets and Adam that I can’t remember the last time I sang more than a lullaby.” She shrugged. “Adam and Luke made the perfect soundproof studio for me in the house, but I’ve barely used it. With Adam starting up his new security business, I’ve felt even more reluctant to take time away from the kids to do something for myself, but I’m going to carve out a few hours a week to hole up in my studio and rediscover my creativity. I can hire someone to babysit when Adam’s working. But honestly, I always was at my most creative at night, so he’ll probably be home by then.”
Savannah, Megan, and Cassie all offered up their babysitting services anytime they were available. Carm wasn’t sure how good she’d be with kids, especially three toddlers. Besides, she lived three and a half hours from Denver when Independence Pass closed for seven months of the year, so she remained silent along with Angelina who had a full plate and geographical differences, too. Megan wasn’t close to Denver, either, but Adam was her brother, so she already spent time there, and Cassie was Karla’s best friend.
“In fact, I’m going to make a commitment to spend the night once a month, Karla,” Megan said. A cloud washed over her face. “As some of you know, I’m not able to have babies of my own unless we adopt, and we aren’t ready for that yet. If I’m only meant to be an aunt, I’d like to be that crazy, fun aunt that kids look back on fondly after they grow up.” She laughed, brushing away words of compassion from her friends. “Who knows? I might not be cut out for motherhood.”
“I’ve seen you with my three, Megan,” Karla said. “You’ll be a fantastic mother, if that’s something you choose to pursue.”
Megan’s eyes grew a little misty. Carm’s heart ached for her, even though she wasn’t aware of the circumstances that prevented Megan from carrying a child.
“I love those three as if they were my own,” Megan assured Karla. “And Ryder and I also love working with kids who have disabilities or who’ve been abused or neglected and come to the ranch to find peace and comfort with our horses and other animals.”
Cassie smiled. “You are making such a difference in their lives.”
“I hope so,” Megan said.
Savannah quietly inserted herself into the conversation. “I love seeing us busy women making such strong commitments to self-care. Thank you for reminding us, Cassie, how important balance is in our lives.” She paused a moment, then continued. “While listening to your commitments, I’ve begun to realize that I need to do something just for me. Between my counseling job and taking care of Mari and J.D.—with Damián’s help, thankfully—me time has been nonexistent. While you all have talked in this circle, I’ve been thinking about what I might do for myself to help relieve stress. I’ve always wanted to take an art class or maybe even get into photography.”
“I can give you photography tips, or even lessons, Savannah, when I’m in Denver,” Megan offered.
“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Savannah said.
“I’m passionate about photography and love to share it with others. And it wouldn’t take a lot of time to teach you. A few hours a month and then you can practice your skills on your own until the next time we get together for more pointers.”
Savannah’s face lit up. “I’d like that a lot, Megan. Thank you. My kids are growing up so fast, and you’re so good at capturing kids in photos that I’d like to focus on that area.”
“Well, you’ll have two beautiful subjects on hand at any given moment,” Megan said.
Carm had neither a husband nor kids and wasn’t in a relationship that would lead to either anytime soon. Nevertheless, all eyes turned toward her, waiting for her to put into words what she wanted as far as finding balance in her life. These women had been heartfelt and honest with her and deserved nothing less in her response.
“Watching you marry my brother, Angelina, got me thinking that I’m nowhere near deciding whether I want to have a husband or a family of my own someday. Until the wedding, I’d been content with life as it had been going. But since my parents retired, I’ve focused almost exclusively on one thing—running the resort with Sandro. I haven’t dated much in the past couple of years.” She couldn’t really count her times with Tony as dates. Her thoughts turned to that intoxicating kiss she’d shared with Tony last month and heat flooded her face.
She cleared her throat. “Recently, though, I made the decision to take some time away from work and family. I need to think about what I want out of life. I’ll be twenty-nine this coming January. Maybe some of my restlessness is related to my biological clock ticking.” Saying the words out loud certainly made the reality hit home for her.
“I have no clue.”
“You should check out the local scene,” Karla insisted. “The perfect guy might be right under your nose.”
“It’s important to make a definite plan in order to affect change,” Savannah pointed out.
“Where do single women in Aspen go to meet guys?” Angelina asked.
Your brother Tony has been on my radar, but I’m not
going there.
But she’d always been attracted to serious, sophisticated men. Tony didn’t fit the image of her ideal man.
“I’d say the ski resorts, but I’m not going to date our guests.” Carm laughed, but realized she had no idea where to meet anyone new. Should she commit to pursuing Tony? They had hit it off when they were together. “Actually, there is someone. I’ll ask him out on a date next time I see him.” That would be Sunday at Angelina’s birthday party. Was she ready to try again?
“That sounds like a perfect plan,” Cassie said. “Now, why don’t we get into the tub and let the universe help put our intentions into actions?” The women lined up at the steps. “As you step into the water, imagine yourself awash in the characteristics you wish to take on. Healthy body image, creativity, attentiveness, new opportunities and relationships—and ultimately balance in each of our lives.”
Carm waited until someone else made the first move. A brisk breeze hit her full-frontal, and her nipples bunched at the cold. It had gotten a lot colder since she arrived a few hours ago. Of course, she was wearing a lot less, too.
Angelina got into the eight-person hot tub first and one by one, the other ladies followed.
Cassie continued her calm, encouraging words. “Whatever you plan to nurture within yourself when we go our separate ways tomorrow morning, envision yourself doing it already.”
Carm grew serious as she tried to picture herself dating someone, but only Tony’s image came to mind.
As she eased herself into the hot, bubbling water, she ran several affirmations through her head.
I will make myself available.
I will nurture my sensual self.
I will find someone who will fall in love with me.
As she seated herself across from Karla and Savannah, that last thought gave her pause. She’d never been in love before and wasn’t quite sure that was attainable—certainly not in the next few years. As the jets were turned on and pressurized water pushed against her upper back, she wondered if she should amend that last statement to something within her control.
I will allow myself to fall in love.
Yes. That was more realistic. If he also came to love her, great. And if in a couple of years they chose to marry, that would be the icing on the cake.
Cassie was the last to join them, but let each woman remain lost in her own thoughts for a long while. Carm envied the other women who had their spouses and more settled lives. All had men who adored and cherished them. What would it be like to have a relationship like that? Coming home to someone who lavished them with love and attention.
That’s a rather selfish view of a relationship, Carm. Maybe she needed to think less of herself and more about whatever her future man would need or want.
Or maybe she needed to find a dog or cat for companionship.
Giving up already?
Looking up at the star-filled sky, she leaned her head back against the wall of the tub, further committing to making this goal a reality. They say there’s someone out there for everyone. Perhaps she needed to step out of her comfort zone and test the waters.
Cool bursts of air swept over her shoulders, face, and the tops of her breasts. Each breeze felt like a call to action.
Universe, I’m ready to take charge of my love life. But you can help by putting eligible men in my path.
Visions of Tony once again flitted through her mind’s eye, catching her off guard. Shouldn’t she be thinking of having someone like Nick in her life? No, he was a hotel guest. Off-limits.
A vehicle door slammed shut, and Carm opened her eyes. “Were you expecting someone, Angelina?”
Angelina’s brows furrowed. “No. Let me go see who it is.” She stood and started for the steps. “Mio Dio, it’s cold out here.”
“Be careful on the deck in case it is slippery,” Cassie cautioned.
“Maybe we ought to get out, too.” Carm felt a responsibility to help protect Angelina, not that any of them were armed or even clothed at the moment.
“Good idea,” Karla said.
But would an intruder up to no good make his presence known by slamming a car door?
Chapter Seventeen
Tony glanced up at his sister’s sprawling log home as he exited his truck. There were no lights on anywhere that he could see. Had Angelina gone to bed already? He started toward the porch.
Tony hadn’t planned to check on her, but Marc was in Colorado Springs until Saturday night and Tony had decided to make sure she was okay. Angelina didn’t relish being alone in the woods after living her entire life in town, although with Marc’s twenty-four-hour schedule a couple times a week, she was trying her best to adjust to the situation.
Should he knock or use the key Angelina and Marc had given him for emergencies? Not wanting to wake her, he decided to do a quick perimeter check to see if anything appeared to be out of order and leave it at that. She needed her sleep.
Walking around the side of the house, he thought he heard voices. The deck area was pitch-black, until he rounded the side of the log house and saw the light from the hot tub glowing.
Holy shit!
Out of the water rose Carm in all her naked glory looking like Aphrodite rising from the sea foam. Her high breasts glistened with rivulets of water. Tony’s eyes quickly adjusted to the light, and he could make out the side view of a dusty-rose areola surrounding an erect nipple. When she turned in his direction, the sight of the triangle of curls between her legs would definitely spice up the fantasy dreams he’d been having about her lately. Sure beat his imagination.
Everything happened so fast that Tony didn’t know what to do. Someone cut the hot tub jets and silence ensued except for the chirping of tree frogs and crickets. Carm glanced his way again as she came down the steps but didn’t acknowledge him as she picked up one of the white terrycloth robes draped over a patio chair. She seemed in no hurry to cover herself, so she probably had no idea he was watching her. Should he announce his presence and risk frightening her and anyone else who came out of the tub after her, or should he creep back to the front of the house and pretend he hadn’t seen a thing?
The lack of sound from the jets would amplify his footsteps, though, so he stood stock-still. Before he could make a decision about what to do, Angelina’s voice came from the front of the house, blowing his cover.
“Tony? Where are you?”
Trying to act as though he’d just arrived, he responded, “Headed ’round to the back deck!”
At the sound of his voice, Carm zeroed in on his location immediately and quickly donned her robe, cinching the belt tightly around her trim waist. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus. Tony wasn’t sure if he was more thankful for what he’d seen or that she was no longer a naked temptation. He already had enough vivid images to fill his nights with torturous fantasies for the remainder of his life.
“What are you doing out here?” Angelina’s question brought him back to the present. She’d exited the house onto the back deck also wearing a bathrobe, and probably naked underneath. He wasn’t going to think about what they were doing out here close to midnight but would be eternally grateful he didn’t catch his sister coming out of the hot tub naked.
“Just wanted to check and make sure you were okay, Sis. I thought you were sleeping and didn’t want to disturb you, so I decided to just do a perimeter check before heading home.” He truly hadn’t intended to be ogling Carm, that’s for sure.
“We’re fine. Turn around.” She and Carm opened up additional bathrobes to shield several more women so they could slip into them without giving Tony any further glimpses of nudity. How many women were in that hot tub? Rather than count, he faced away as Angelina asked, “Didn’t Rafe tell you I was having friends over tonight?”
“Must have slipped his mind.” Tony wanted to strangle his brother for not giving him a heads-up, but Rafe had a lot on his mind lately with his upcoming officer’s exam. And in fairness Tony hadn’t told Rafe he planned to check on Ange
lina, either.
“Okay, you can turn around now.” Tony did so and climbed the steps onto the deck to close the space between them and to give his sister a hug and a peck on the cheek. “Glad to see everything’s okay.”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
He shrugged, knowing Angelina hated to be babied by her four big brothers. “I guess I’d better be heading back down the mountain and leave you all to your…party.” Or whatever this was.
“After you came all this way, I feel like I ought to offer you something. How about one of the goodies Carm brought from Bella Montagna?” She turned to the shivering women. “Girls, are you hungry?”
“I can always eat,” Karla said.
“Me, too,” Savannah chimed in.
Carm remained quiet, eyeing him cautiously. Yeah, she knows I saw her naked, even if we both try to pretend otherwise.
“Great. Let’s go inside before we freeze.” Inside the kitchen, Angelina added, “Go warm up by the fire while I brew a pot of coffee and put on the tea kettle.”
Clearly, that wasn’t an invitation to him, so he asked how he could help in the kitchen.
“Wash up and arrange the pastries on this platter, then grab some dessert plates from that cupboard.”
“I’ll take care of the pastries,” Carm offered before he even reached the sink. Tony grabbed the plates and took them into the living room and set them on the coffee table by the fire where the other women stood chatting while warming themselves up. He hightailed it back to the kitchen.
Angelina kept the conversation going, while Carm became unusually quiet. He caught her glancing his way several times, but whenever she noticed, her eyes darted back to the platter she was filling with assorted danish and enormous muffins. Tony should probably leave them to their midnight snack but for some reason didn’t want to make his exit yet.
TONY: Slow Burn (Raging Fire Book 1) Page 17
