Lair of the Beast

by Adam Jay Epstein

  “Yep,” Valor said, stepping between Wily and the nearest group of ants. “That’s the name to go with.”

  “Can you quell them?” Wily asked.

  “They’re defending their young,” Valor said. “Their instinct to protect their family is far stronger than anything I can do to calm them.”

  As if to prove she was right, the first group of ants skittered toward Wily, attempting to bite his legs and waist. Valor came to his defense, slicing the air with her wooden hand claws. Her right-hand blade sliced off the antennae of three of the ambush ants. With her other hand, she punched the head of a snapping ant. The claws made a loud cracking sound as they pierced the ant’s hard outer shell. The giant insect collapsed to the ground.

  “I must really like you,” Valor said, “because normally I wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

  “Maybe if the flies were as big as dogs and swarming around you,” Wily said, “you’d change your mind about that.”

  Valor smacked another ambush ant away with her wrist claws. Just then, one of the ants bit down on Valor’s ankle, breaking skin. Wily grabbed a hammer from his tool belt and smashed the ant attacking Valor on the side of the head. The ant crumpled as another took its place.

  Valor was wincing from the pain of the bite and clutching her ankle. “I’ve got a new name for these damn bugs,” Valor said, “but my uncle doesn’t like me using that kind of language.”

  Wily looked down to see that Valor’s ankle was swelling to the size of a grapefruit and turning as purple as a plum. Despite her worsening injury, she continued to swipe at incoming ants.

  “I shouldn’t have been so mean to you,” Valor said.

  “Apology accepted,” Wily said.

  “Hold your breath!” a voice screamed from behind Wily and Valor.

  A purple mushroom exploded at Valor’s feet. Wily covered his nose with his fingers. The ambush ants began to scramble away from the smoke—and from Odette and Moshul, who came charging down the underground corridor. Odette ran along the backs of the swarming ants toward Wily and Valor. Moshul squashed the ant reinforcements as they came streaming out of holes in the walls.

  Odette reached Wily and Valor’s side and snatched up the limp body of one of the dead ants. She used it to create a barrier between them and the other incoming ants. “What are you doing going into battle without us?” Odette asked, then coughed from the faint mushroom fumes still wafting through the air.

  “How’d you find us?” Wily asked.

  “Moshul had his ear to the ground,” Odette replied. “We’ve been looking for you since you fell down the trapdoor.”

  Wily heard the sound of snapping above. He looked up to see an ambush ant preparing to drop down on him. Just then, Righteous came flying down the hall. The floating arm’s sword pinned the ant to the wall. Its six legs squirmed helplessly.

  Next came Pryvyd with his spiked shield, battering a path for himself and Roveeka. The hobgoblet was tossing Mum and Pops at ants as they popped out from holes all around the tunnel.

  As Moshul came to a stop near Wily, Valor, and Odette, a line of tiny ants crawled out of the golem’s belly button and down his leg to the ground. The small ants approached the big ants with waving antennae.

  After a moment, the ambush ants retreated into the walls.

  “Sometimes the littlest things,” Pryvyd said, “can get you out of the biggest trouble.”

  The trail of tiny ants crawled back up Moshul and disappeared into his soft dirt body. Then Moshul turned to Wily and signed something with his big mossy hands.

  Pryvyd translated. “Moshul was worried sick about you.”

  “We all were,” Roveeka said.

  “I wasn’t really,” Odette said. “I knew you’d be fine.”

  But Wily could tell by the way she gave him a giant squeeze that she had been very concerned as well.

  Then she whispered in his ear. “To tell the truth, I was most worried about your being stuck with Valor,” she said. “I thought you might kill each other.”

  Wily looked over at Valor. “Actually,” he said, “that was probably the only good part about getting lost down here. She’s actually amazing … once you get to know her.”

  Odette raised an eyebrow in surprise.

  But Wily could see Valor wasn’t doing so well. The swelling on her ankle was getting even larger.

  “That doesn’t look so good,” Roveeka said, stating the obvious.

  “It’ll be fine,” Valor said, attempting to walk. Her knee quickly buckled under the pain.

  “Here,” Wily said, pulling the healing water from the pool above Spider Rock out of his pouch. “Drink this. I don’t need to grow a few more inches anyway.”

  Valor smiled and drank it down. “It’ll still take a little while for the leg to heal,” she said.

  Odette turned to Moshul and signed to him, then turned back to Valor. “Moshul will carry you until it does.” Odette turned to Roveeka next. “Looks like you’re not the slowest member of the team anymore. You’ve got to carry yourself.”

  “No problem,” Roveeka said. “I’m the Grand Slouch.”

  “As if one royal teammate wasn’t bad enough,” Odette said.

  Righteous came flying up to the group and began pointing toward the soft yellow light in the distance.

  “I think Righteous has found something,” Pryvyd said.

  Moshul picked up Valor and tucked her under his arm. Then the group hurried ahead toward the brightness. They reached a sloping path that curved like a spiral staircase downward. Wily could see that it was brighter below.

  As they made their twisty descent, it grew even brighter and brighter. Soon it was as if the group was standing outside in the shade during a sunny day.

  Wily came to the bottom out of the spiral ramp and found himself on a high rocky ledge looking out upon another extraordinary sight. He was in a massive cavern as wide as a thousand fields. The stone floor of the cavern was splintered like a clay vase dropped from a great height. Some of the cracks appeared slender enough to hop over, while others were so wide that no bridge would be long enough to stretch across the gap. Through the cracks, Wily could see a glowing yellow surface that was almost too bright to look at directly. It radiated heat and light upward, which helped to explain an even more bizarre sight.

  The ceiling of the cavern was filled with tall pine trees hanging upside down. Their roots were buried in the ceiling above, while their branches of green leaves extended downward, soaking in the warm rays of the hidden sun. Flocks of pink-hued bats fluttered from tree to tree. Wily even thought he saw a few furry creatures hiding among the bigger branches.

  “This is not quite what I was expecting,” Odette said. “I thought we’d find a frightening place filled with terrible beasts slithering through mazes of sharp rocks.”

  Something about the Below felt incredibly calming to Wily. “I know this place,” he said. “I used to dream about a trapless, treasureless dungeon where I could live peacefully. I think this is what I used to imagine.”

  “I remember you talking about a place like that,” Roveeka said with a crooked smile.

  “I guess it really existed after all,” Wily said with a sigh.

  “Before we get all cozy,” Pryvyd said, “let’s wait until we see what’s crawling down on the surface.”

  “It’s true,” Valor said from the crook of Moshul’s arm. “We know Palojax must be down there somewhere. I don’t think any of us should get too comfortable.”

  “Over there,” Odette said, pointing to a set of natural stairs that led down to the surface of the Below.

  The group began their descent. As Wily embarked on the long climb down, he expected to feel the heat start to increase. Instead, it felt just like a warm spring day. The only sweat dripping from his brow was caused by the couple hundred steps he was walking down. He wondered what magical force had created this underground sun.

  When Wily touched down on the surface, he dropped to his knees and held hi
s hand a few inches off the ground. To his surprise, it felt as cool as a rock in the shade. “It doesn’t seem possible,” Wily said. “Anything this bright should be as hot as a million ovens.”

  “The sun can be out on a winter’s day,” Valor said. “It’s certainly not hot then.”

  “That’s because the sun is so far away in the winter,” Wily said.

  “There’s a lot we don’t understand,” Pryvyd said. “And we have to accept that we may never.”

  “Science can answer most of our questions,” Wily countered.

  “And magic answers the rest,” Pryvyd replied.

  Wily moved over to one of the cracks in the ground and tried to look directly into the upside-down sun. It was too bright to stare at for even a brief moment.

  “Shall we find that lair beast?” Odette asked impatiently.

  Wily nodded and pried himself away. The group began to move along the surface of the Below, circumventing the larger cracks in the ground. It was like navigating through a maze with no walls.

  Then Odette let out an excited yelp. “Treasure!” she exclaimed, hustling over to a wide circle of gold nuggets piled ankle-high. “And it’s just sitting here unguarded!” She grabbed a fistful of the gold.

  “That’s not treasure,” Roveeka said. “Those are wishes.” She pointed to the ceiling. A large hole stretched upward into the darkness. “This is the bottom of a bottomless pit,” she said. “And these are hobgoblet wishes. Maybe one of these is mine. And maybe one is Wily’s.”

  Odette looked at the gold in her hand. After a moment, she put it back in the circle. “You really know how to take the fun out of finding gold,” she said to Roveeka.

  “It’s not real gold anyway,” Roveeka added. “It’s pyrite. Fool’s gold.”

  “Nothing foolish about it,” Wily said. “This gold makes dreams come true.” He picked up a piece of pyrite and played with it.

  Roveeka picked up a piece as well. “I wish I could turn back time,” she said, “so that all the hobgoblets could live on the surface again.”

  “What are you wishing for?” Pryvyd asked Wily.

  “That I’ll make a great king one day,” Wily said.

  “Too late,” Pryvyd said. “You already are.”

  “I wish we find Palojax soon,” Odette said.

  Just then, Valor pointed back to the ceiling. “Wish granted.”

  There, hanging upside-down from the ceiling, was a winged beast twice as black as the darkest block of neccanite. It had leathery batwings wrapped around its body and three heads. Even from this distance, it seemed impossibly huge.

  “Was that in your dreams of a trapless treasure-less dungeon too?” Odette said, swallowing hard.

  Palojax unfurled its wings, revealing its tentacle-covered body. This creature was from no dream Wily had ever had before. Yet he was quite sure that, from this day on, it would be in his nightmares.

  19

  THE LAIR BEAST

  As Palojax flew closer, Wily’s fear of the lair beast only grew. The three heads of the massive beast were now clearly visible—and how Wily wished they weren’t! The left one resembled a fiery cobra with red and orange scales that flickered like a burning flame. The right head was a pale white bear’s with blood-stained teeth. The center head, the frightclops, was the most horrifying of all. It resembled the face of a boarcus with tusks, floppy lips, and the nose of a pig. Yet, unlike any creature Wily had ever seen, it had a single eye buried in its forehead and a transparent skull that revealed the pulsing brain inside.

  Moshul put Valor down on the ground and signed to Pryvyd.

  “No,” Pryvyd said as he signed back. “It’s far too late to turn back now.”

  Moshul continued to sign.

  “I’m scared too,” Pryvyd replied. “And not just because he has tentacles.”

  Moshul shuddered at the word.

  As if the three heads weren’t terrifying enough, Wily saw, at the back of Palojax’s body, a massive tail with a spiked fleshy ball at the end. As the creature flew, the mighty sphere moved back and forth like a pendulum. It looked as if the tail alone could knock an entire palace down to its cornerstones.

  Roveeka pulled Mum and Pops from her waistband.

  “I don’t think those are going to do much,” Odette said.

  “I know,” she replied. “It just makes me feel better to hold them.”

  Wily turned to Valor, who was standing tall despite her hugely swollen ankle. “Can you even walk on that?” he asked.

  “I can walk, climb, and jump,” Valor said. “It just hurts. A lot.” She leaned her weight down on her ankle and winced. “An awful lot,” she corrected herself. “But don’t worry. I’ll get on the back of that lair beast. I’m just going to need you guys to distract him.”

  “Okay,” Wily said. He turned to Roveeka. “We may need Mum and Pops after all.”

  The hobgoblet held the blades up to her ears, then pretended to listen to them. “They are ready to fly,” she said with a crooked smile.

  “Hey, Wily,” Odette called out. “You still holding on to that wish?”

  Wily looked down at the cube of pyrite in his hands. He nodded.

  “Because,” Odette continued, “we might need it right now.”

  The lair beast dropped to the ground with an echoing boom.

  “In fact, we might need the whole darn pile of them.”

  The three heads of Palojax each scanned the intruders, snarling angrily. This is the moment of truth, Wily thought. They would either find a way to succeed, or they would die, and Panthasos would have nobody to protect it from Stalag’s army of stone golems. Wily Snare looked at each of his fine companions in turn, wishing he had spent more time with each of them. Odette stood next to him, clutching a pair of mushrooms that she’d plucked off Moshul’s back. Righteous floated at the very front of the group, swinging its sword as if to say “Don’t mess with us.” Pryvyd stood behind Righteous, his spiked shield held aloft. Roveeka was on Wily’s other side, putting on a very tough face. Since being named the Grand Slouch, a great confidence had radiated from within her. Moshul stood tall with spikes protruding from the vines stretched tightly around his chest, only flinching slightly at the lair beast’s rows of squirming tentacles.

  And Valor—where was Valor? She’d disappeared, which seemed impossible on this completely flat terrain. But she truly was nowhere to be found.

  Then the frightclops, the center head of Palojax, opened its mouth and let out a long, low growl that sounded as if an enormous geyser had just erupted. “What brings you to the Below?” the frightclops asked with an ear-rumbling roar. “Do you wish to tell tales of my glory?”

  The fiery cobra head twisted in front of the frightclops. “Let me eat them,” the cobra begged, the words slithering from its lips. “I have not tasted flesh from the Above in so long.”

  The bear head roared, exposing its bloody teeth.

  “Patience,” the frightclops said to the other heads. “You may desire food, but I welcome a bit of conversation before I dine.”

  “We need you to return to the surface,” Wily said. “Neccanite golems are marching on the land again.”

  “Tell me more about your misery,” the frightclops said. “I find it amusing.”

  Wily was still trying to find Valor. Looking around, he spotted something in the cracks of the earth, just beyond the heads of Palojax: a pair of hands moving along the edge of a crack, slowly making their way to the side of the beast. Yes, it was Valor! She’d found a way to sneak up on the lair beast. They just needed to hold the creature’s attention a little bit longer. If Valor could get on the back of Palojax, Wily was certain she’d be able to quell it, just like she had the manticorn.

  “If we don’t gain your assistance, all of the Above will be squashed underfoot by the mighty golems,” Wily said, emphasizing the miserable details. “Homes will be shattered to splinters of wood. People will run screaming in terror.”

  “Go on,” the frightc
lops said with delight. “I have not heard a story for so long.”

  Wily could see Valor was making progress toward Palojax but would need more time.

  “And the cavern mages,” Wily offered, “will enslave every elf, gwarf, and squatling. Even the great beasts of the forest and sea will have nowhere to hide.”

  “That may be worth seeing,” the frightclops roared.

  “I’m hungry now,” hissed the cobra head. It spat a stream of acid at Wily and Roveeka. Pryvyd jumped forward and blocked the attack with his shield.

  The bear head growled with anger.

  “I can’t stop my other two heads from devouring you,” the frightclops said. “It’s time for them to eat.”

  “Let me tell you one last horrible thing,” Wily implored.

  He could see that Valor was climbing out from the crack in the ground. She only needed a slightly longer distraction and she would be able to leap onto the beast’s back.

  “No,” the frightclops said as the beast’s body began to move. “It’s feeding time.”

  The cobra head lunged for Odette. She tossed one of the yellow mushrooms in the palm of her hand at the face of the giant snake. When the mushrooms exploded, they created a noxious mist that would knock a smaller creature unconscious within a second, but the snake swallowed the mushroom whole … and nothing at all happened.

  “You think that a noxshroom will do anything to us?” the frightclops asked. “There is nothing that grows on the back of your moss golem that will harm me. I am a battle you cannot win.”

  Roveeka threw Mum with all the force and precision that had made her a famous knife-wielder in Carrion Tomb. The lair beast lazily flapped one of its batwings, causing a whoosh of air to blast forth, and the sharp blade was sent flying back to Roveeka like a boomerang.

  “Why do you even bother?” the frightclops asked as the bear head let out another fierce howl. “You are like fleas on the back of a gristle hound.”

  Wily could see Valor was now on her feet. She was half limping, half running as fast as she could on her injured leg. She gritted her teeth, fighting through the pain, and made a running leap for the rear of the lair beast. Palojax didn’t spot her until it was too late. The lair beast’s spiked tail tried to swat her away like a fly but it struck nothing but air.