“So you were just friends?”
Is that all she and Max were? For years Levi had been expecting his daughter to tell him the relationship had turned romantic, but as far as he knew it hadn’t happened yet.
“Well. More than friends, I guess.” Much more. Grace had been his first love as well as his best friend. She’d meant so much to him that it was hard to describe their relationship in words. Certainly not to his daughter.
“What was her name?”
“Grace Hamilton.” Just saying her name made his heart contract. He couldn’t believe it still had that much power.
“Have I ever met her?”
“No.” He fixed his gaze out the kitchen window, at a hummingbird feeder that had been sitting empty for more than a month. He ought to wash it and put it away until next spring. “Her parents moved to Florida shortly after we started college and she’s never been back to Woodland. At least not that I know of.”
Jess put the salad on the table, between their two place settings. “Was she into bird watching and chess like you?”
“Grace is the one who taught me how to play chess. And yeah, she would come with me when I went birding. She was more into photographing them though.”
“So she was just as nerdy as you?”
His daughter loved to tease him about his uncool hobbies. But he’d also played football and being part of the team had brought him acceptance and a measure of popularity. “Grace was too beautiful to be considered a nerd.”
His daughter shot him one of those looks that laid him bare. “Did she break your heart, Dad?”
He swallowed. “That was a long time ago.”
A chirp from his phone distracted the both of them. He took a quick glance at the screen and frowned. “It’s the mayor. She’s reminding me about the festival meeting tomorrow night.” Erin Powers was also suggesting they grab dinner together beforehand. He quickly tapped back his reply. Good for the meeting but having dinner with Jess.
“She likes you. Why don’t you ask her for dinner before the meeting?”
“What are you, a mind reader? That’s what Erin suggested. But I’d rather eat at home with you.”
“I’m going to college next year. What are you going to do then? Eat all your meals alone?”
“You’re not in college yet. And you shouldn’t worry about me. I’ve got lots of friends. And Grandma and Grandpa.” His parents lived just a mile away and Sunday dinner was a long-standing tradition.
“So that’s it? You’re not even forty and you plan to spend all your weekends with your parents?”
Was that what this interest in his ex-girlfriends had been about? “Erin Powers is pretty and smart…but she’s not my type. And for the record I can handle my own love life, thanks.”
“You’d need to have a love life to handle it, Dad.”
Levi hated to admit it. But his daughter had a point.
*
That same evening…Sparks Book Store, Manhattan
Photojournalist Grace Hamilton smiled at the gentleman who had just asked her to sign four copies of her newest book, National Park Birds and Their Stories. He was planning to give them to his adult children for Christmas and she had individually inscribed each book.
“I hope they enjoy them, Mr. Bronson.”
“I’m sure they will. We’re real nature lovers in our family. And I’ve always loved your work for Audubon.”
Grace didn’t try to rush the chatty gentleman, even though people were lined up through the front door and down Broadway for two whole blocks. This intel came from her agent, Jeremy Browne, who was currently chatting with her editor at Dover Books: Paula Baton. They looked pleased with the turnout. Grace was thrilled.
The book was the culmination of a five-year project for her. She’d traveled to every national park in the country, woken before dawn and the morning chorus to get the best photos, and stayed up late doing post-production in rustic lodges where guests were required to share bathrooms and forget about cell service or cable TV.
Not that Grace minded the lack of amenities. She was too focused on her work and she would have been happy to camp, except for the need to charge batteries and download her photographs to her laptop.
The next person to step up to her table was a woman, dressed in a smart camel trench coat over a black, silk jumpsuit. Grace lifted her gaze to the woman’s face, and then jumped out of her chair.
“Alicia!” She reached over the table to embrace her best friend from Woodland—the small town in upper New York State where Grace had lived for a time with her parents. She and Alicia Moretti kept in touch via texts and video chats, but between Grace’s travel schedule and Alicia’s responsibilities to her husband, children and yoga studio, they only managed to meet in person about once a year, always in Manhattan.
A few times Grace had offered to meet her friend in Woodland, but Alicia wouldn’t hear of it. While she loved raising a family in a small town, Alicia looked forward to her annual trip to the city and indulging in fine dining, theater and shopping.
Besides, there really was no reason for Grace to go back to Woodland since her parents didn’t live there anymore. This way, too, Grace could avoid the possibility of running into Levi Shanahan and being reminded of her biggest regret. When she was eighteen, she’d thought there’d be lots of guys she’d fall in love with the way she’d loved Levi. In actual fact there’d been none.
Alicia knew about her conflicted feelings for Levi, but by mutual accord they didn’t speak about him very often. Occasionally Alicia injected news of Levi into their conversations, but she always did so casually. That was how Grace had learned of Levi’s marriage, the birth of his daughter, and then just two years later, his wife’s tragic death. Grace had sent a signed book for the wedding—which she hadn’t been invited to—and flowers for Maggie’s funeral and had received a polite thank-you note for both. That was the only correspondence she and Levi had had in about twenty years.
“I wanted to surprise you,” Alicia said. “And it looks like I have.”
Grace laughed. “I’ll say. You look marvelous by the way. When did you get here?”
“Around noon. I’ve already done some shopping. Isn’t this a sweet jumpsuit?” Alicia glanced behind her. “But I shouldn’t hold you up. So many people are waiting. You done good, girl.” She gave her friend a quick hug.
“We’ll have lots of time to visit later, right? You are staying a few nights, aren’t you?” All her friend was carrying were some shopping bags and a stylish purse. “Where is your luggage?”
“Locked up at Penn Station.”
“Great. We’ll pick it up on our way home after the reception. Red wine and artisanal cheeses and schmoozing with the literary and ornithological crowd…” Grace, who had never mastered the art of small talk with strangers and working a room, was not looking forward to it. “Sorry, but there’s no way to avoid it.”
“Why would I want to? Sounds like fun. Is Harvey here?”
“Yes. He’ll be thrilled to see you.” Harvey Peters was both her landlord and closest friend in Manhattan and Alicia loved hearing stories from his former career as a set designer on Broadway.
“Oh good.” Alicia squeezed her shoulder. “You have the most glamorous life!”
“Hardly.” But Alicia had already moved on and didn’t hear her. Since Alicia only visited when she was in Manhattan, she didn’t realize how she spent the majority of her time. Pre-dawn wake-up calls, followed by miles of trudging through forests, marshes and tidal pools. Hours spent waiting in dirty, damp, cold locations hoping to catch the perfect bird in the perfect moment, and then, after a hurried shower and dinner, her nights were not spent reading or binge-watching shows, but at the computer doing post-production work.
It wasn’t a life many could tolerate. But Grace loved it. All except for the part where she fell into bed exhausted—and alone.
Well. Not always alone. Grace had met a lot of attractive and eligible men during her years as
a freelance photojournalist and she’d had relationships with a few. But conflicting schedules eventually led to a parting of the ways. Or at least they had so far. Grace hadn’t given up on finding a partner to share her life with. But if she didn’t, she would be okay. That’s what she kept telling herself. And mostly she believed it.
September 5, 1999
New York University
Dear Levi,
Got up early today to do some birding in Central Park. (My roommate wasn’t in her bed. Guess she crashed at some party last night. She’s still pissed at me for turning the lights out on her and her friends last week at midnight. But it was a Monday, for God’s sake, and my Tuesday schedule is insane.) Anyway. Central Park. It was crazy, a warbler storm of Cape Mays and Tennessees and black-throated greens. Someday I’m going to make a book about the birds that migrate through this park—and you’re going to help me. I miss you so much…
Chapter Two
“Irv, I recommend the combination snow shovel.” Levi handed the elderly man his best-selling shovel. “It’s good for pushing and shoveling snow. The steel blade will scrape snow down to bare concrete, while the polypropylene blade makes it lighter to lift.”
Irvine Mackenzie studied the new shovel suspiciously. Levi had been running through the pros and cons of his various snow shovels for the past fifteen minutes. He knew that once Irvine made up his mind on what he wanted he would head home to his computer to find a better price online.
That was the way things went in the retail business these days. Levi didn’t mind so much in Irvine’s case because his wife, Sondra, met her friends at his lunch counter five days a week.
But today Irvine shocked him by handing over the combination snow shovel.
“I’ll take it.”
Levi could hardly hide his surprise. “Great. I’ll ring it up for you.”
“I could get it cheaper at a big box store,” Irv grumbled. “But Sondra says we have to support our local retailers, or they’ll go out of business.”
Levi paused. “If you want to try and find a better price…”
“No, no, this is good.”
Levi was carrying the shovel out to Irvine’s car when Erin Powers waved at him from across the street. He waved back then popped the shovel into Irvine’s trunk. “Now you’re ready for that first snow fall. Hopefully it won’t be coming for at least a month.”
“Not until after the Autumn Foliage Festival anyway,” Irv said. “Sondra’s going to be selling her jams and cherry pies.”
“Her pies are my favorite. Can’t wait to stock up.” Levi closed the trunk, then stepped back to the sidewalk as Irv drove away.
Erin waved at him again, then crossed the street. She was in her first term as town mayor and Levi figured the job might be hers in perpetuity if she wanted. Everyone in town loved her. She was incredibly positive and high-energy, and the first to volunteer when help was needed.
Her long-time boyfriend had recently taken a job in Boston and ended their relationship. Her recent invite to dinner had Levi suspecting Erin had identified him as a potential replacement. He hoped someone else would come along to catch her eye. While he admired Erin a lot, too much time in her company exhausted him.
“Hey, Erin.”
“Levi.”
She looked attractive in a long butterscotch-colored sweater, jeans and tan boots. The colors suited her red hair and hazel eyes. Thinking of his daughter’s comment last night, about him needing a social life, Levi waited to feel a stir of attraction, of connection. It didn’t come.
“Isn’t it a beautiful day?” she enthused. “So exciting watching the leaves start to turn. Knowing that every day is going to be more glorious than the one before until we reach peak autumn foliage colors. Don’t you just love going for long drives in the country this time of year?”
“I prefer hiking.” Autumn was a great season for birders and this year’s southern migration was already in full swing. “Last Sunday in the Bruce Preserve I saw close to a hundred broad-winged hawks.”
“Hawks. Hm. That’s interesting.” Her quizzical frown suggested the opposite, but that didn’t stop her from tipping her head to one side and giving him a brilliant smile. “Were you out with a group?”
“Nope.” Though he was generally a social guy, he preferred to do his birding alone with few exceptions, one of which was his daughter. Some of his fondest memories were of the days they’d spent outdoors together, Jess working her way through one of the scavenger hunts he’d organized for her, while he trained his binoculars on interesting birds. Sometimes he’d take a sketch pad along and make drawings. But he didn’t often have time for that.
“Well, if you’re ever looking for company, give me a call. I love to hike.”
“Right.” Levi doubted his idea of a hike in nature would be the same as Erin’s. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He glanced back at his store. “I ought to get back to work. See you later tonight?”
“I’m looking forward to it.” Erin gave him another of her big smiles before heading toward her office where she worked as a real estate agent. A town the size of Woodland didn’t have the tax base, or the need, for a full-time mayor.
Levi had almost made it inside his store when another familiar voice called out his name. His mother. He turned to see her familiar rotund figure approaching from the opposite direction of Erin’s office. Familiar and yet not. When had her hair turned from salt and pepper to gray? And when had she developed that slope in her shoulders? He felt a pang of sadness at this evidence of aging.
“Hey, Mom. Meeting your friends for coffee?”
“Yes. I tried to convince your father to come, but I couldn’t lure him away from the television.”
They shared a worried glance. Since his diagnosis of atherosclerosis a month ago Pat Shanahan had been in a mild depression, despite being assured by his physician that with some healthy lifestyle changes—walking was good, heavy labor was not—and medication, the condition could be improved.
“I’ve got a meeting tonight,” Levi said. “But I’ll stop by to visit him tomorrow and see if I can convince him to come out for a walk.”
“Thanks, son. By the way, I saw you chatting up our mayor. Wasn’t she looking pretty?”
Levi groaned. First his daughter, now his mother. “Is there some sort of matchmaking conspiracy between you and Jess?”
“Maybe.” Mischief danced in his mother’s blue eyes. “Sometimes I think you forget how young you are, son. Since Maggie died you’ve been focused on your daughter and that’s been admirable. But Jess will be off to college soon.”
“No need to remind me of that.” He thought about it all the time already.
“So. Don’t you think it’s time you focused on your own needs now?”
“I’ve got all I need. Family, friends and a good job.”
“But what about someone to keep you company in the evenings? Someone special to love?”
“I have been thinking about that,” he admitted. “And I’ve decided that after I drop Jess off at college I’m going to adopt a dog.”
His mother laughed, then shook her head. “You’re incorrigible.”
He walked his mom to the back of the store where her friends were waiting at the lunch counter for Connie Wilson—an old high school friend he’d hired when she’d needed a job after her divorce—to serve them.
“You have to admit,” he told his mother, “a dog ticks all the boxes.”
His mother raised her eyebrows. “Not all the boxes.”
That was true. A sex life would be nice. Definitely. But he wasn’t into casual relationships and when it came to true, head-over-heels love, he’d already struck gold twice. First Grace. Then Maggie.
He was open to it happening again. But he wasn’t holding out a lot of hope.
*
“Remember that shoebox I found in the attic yesterday?” Jess and Max had just finished a five-mile training run and were heading toward Jess’s house. Usually they chatted a
lot after their runs. But today Max kept grabbing quick looks at his phone, then stuffing it back into his pocket.
“Yeah.”
He didn’t sound at all interested, but Jess persevered. “It was full of love letters from Dad’s old high school sweetheart. They broke up when she moved to New York to study photography.”
“You didn’t read them?”
Jess’s face, already glowing from exertion, heated up a few more degrees. She’d been so curious she hadn’t been able to stop herself. But yeah, she knew it was wrong. “Well, a few of them…”
Max shot her a look that was definitely unimpressed. “How would you feel if he cyber-snooped you on Instagram?”
“I’d be pissed. Yeah. But the point is, when I asked him if he had a girlfriend before Mom, you should have seen his face. I think he really loved this girl.”
“So?”
“So, I’m going to college next year. And he’s going to be alone. He doesn’t seem interested in any of the single women in town—not even Erin Powers and you have to admit she’s kind of beautiful.”
“She’s okay.” Without breaking stride, Max took a swig from his water bottle.
“So I started wondering about this girl from high school. And I googled her. And guess what I discovered?”
“That it’s none of your business?”
“Damn it, Max. Why are you being such a grouch today?”
He slowed his pace for a fraction and looked like he was considering telling her something important. But all he said was, “Sorry. What did you find?”
“Grace Hamilton is actually a pretty famous photojournalist. She lives in Manhattan and she just published a book of her photographs and stories about birds in the national parks.”
They were at her house now. Jess took a key from her pocket and unlocked the front door. First she went to the fruit basket on the counter to grab a couple bananas. She and Max both craved bananas after a long run.
“Thanks.” Max peeled it open and ate almost half of it in one bite. “Did you say Grace Hamilton? You have one of her books on your coffee table don’t you?”
Letters From Grace Page 2
