“What are you doing?” the woman asked.
“Just looking for the bathroom,” Nadine called out. “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh,” the blonde said. She pointed. “It’s down the hall.”
“Thank you,” Nadine said.
“Do you mind if I use it first,” the blonde continued. “I’m on duty.”
“Go right ahead,” Nadine said.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She wiggled her way past them and down the hall. Tara tried not to stare at her perfect ass.
“She’s living up to the stereotype,” Nadine said with a sad shake of her head.
“Shut up and wrap,” Tara said.
Tara and Nadine, who couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be orphaned so young, went home and loved on their parents until they broke free and locked themselves in their room. At Tara’s suggestion, Nadine and Phil went for a walk on the beach. Tara prayed they would be able to work things out. They didn’t hold hands on the way out, and Tara tried not to worry about what that meant. She felt guilty for allowing Nadine to open Darren’s present, but she also felt as if she knew him better now. So much for his bravado about stress relief and making people laugh. He didn’t like Christmas because of a childhood wound. Not that Tara could blame him. She couldn’t imagine losing anyone, let alone a mother at that time of year. Maybe Nadine was right. Maybe they were being guided to help him. But how? What could they do about it? She decided to send him a text.
I’m sorry. I heard you were away.
Is everything okay?
Her hands were sweating when she pushed SEND. Would he answer? Where was he? She even missed Dog. It was almost Christmas Eve. It was all going so fast. She heard a bang on the wall and jumped clear off the couch. Horrified, she stared at the shut door from whence it came. From behind the wall came the unmistakable sound of a mattress creaking followed by the headboard banging into the wall. Tara ran out to the patio to escape. Who would have known her parents would be the only ones ending up getting their island freak on?
She found herself back at the Island Pole. She wouldn’t dare tell Nadine but she missed the fun. From the side of the house she watched the people laugh. She stared at her phone. There was no reply from Darren. She couldn’t believe how much she missed him. Her blond replacement was leaving her post and headed to the house.
“Hello,” Tara called out.
“Oh hey,” the blonde said. “I’m just taking a break. This job is so hard.” Tara laughed until she saw that the woman was serious.
“I can finish your shift if you want,” Tara said.
“Really?”
“I am the originator of the role.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind. I’d be happy to do it.”
“You’re on, sister. I have a hot date.”
A lead ball dropped in Tara’s stomach. “Oh,” she said. “With Darren?”
“Darren?” the blonde squealed. “I’ve tried with that one—it’s a lost cause!”
“Why is that?”
“Because he’s not the dating type—he’s the relationship type.” Joy spread through Tara. Just then a text message beeped through.
No apologies necessary. See you at the luau?
It was a sign. And this time, she wasn’t going to mess it up.
Chapter 13
It was Nadine who suggested the trip to Haleakala volcano on the east side of Maui. Tara was dying to tell Nadine what she’d heard about Darren, but she was making a conscious effort to think about someone other than herself. She also wanted to find out how Nadine and Phil’s stroll on the beach went, and vowed not to talk about herself until she found out. The volcano was located in the Haleakala National Park, a beautiful trip away from the ocean up to the heights of the clouds, where hiking and the breathtaking sights of the volcano awaited them. Again, Tara couldn’t help but notice that Phil and Nadine weren’t holding hands, or looking lovingly into each other’s eyes like their parents were. Tiara was fussy too, and Tara felt an ever growing burden to be cheery. She knew the real reason she was in such a good mood was that it had been crossing her mind in recent hours that if Darren wasn’t the fling type, and had been willing to get involved with her, then he must really like her. And his abrupt change toward her was further proof of this. Not that she knew the solution. She still lived in New York, and he lived here. They arrived at the park, piled out of the car, and headed for the crater.
Joe Versus the Volcano, Tara thought as they skirted the edges. First, their parents disappeared. Being used to it, and too tired from hiking to care anyway, nobody sent out a search party. Then, the fight started. Tara was following around after Tiara, who was toddling after a bug, when Nadine and Phil started bickering. So much for a reconciliation. The next thing she knew, Phil was scooping Tiara up and whisking her away.
“You deal with your sister,” he said to Tara. “I for one am dropping out of Christmas this year.”
“You can’t drop out of Christmas,” Nadine yelled. “There’s no dropping out of Christmas!”
“Watch me,” Phil said.
“What about your daughter? She wants Christmas!”
“She’s two, Nadine. She wants to follow a bug around a volcano.” Tara thought he had a point there, but she wisely kept her mouth shut. Phil started to walk away with Tiara.
“I’m not pregnant,” Nadine yelled. Phil stopped dead. Slowly, he turned around.
“Were you ever?” he asked. Nadine slowly shook her head no.
“I didn’t think so,” he said.
“You knew?”
“I suspected.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why were you lying to me?”
“Because I was trying to save us.”
“By making up a baby?”
“It was crazy, I know. But you’ve been so distant lately, so cold. I thought if you thought I was having a baby, you would stay.”
“What do you mean? Where did you think I was going?”
“To live with your girlfriend, maybe?”
“My what?”
“Come on, Phil. Just tell me. Are you having an affair?”
“Are you serious? Is that what you really think?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore. For all I know you’re screwing an elf at the mall!”
Phil threw up his arms and shook his head. “I am not screwing an elf at the mall,” he said. “Or anyone else.”
“Then, what? Why have you been acting so weird?”
“It’s you, okay?”
“What about me?”
“Your endless events, and decorating, and planning dinners, and sending Christmas cards, and stringing lights, and buying presents, and making Christmas cookies, and stringing Christmas popcorn, and rehearsing plays, and taking Christmas pictures, and playing Bing Crosby until I want to puke, and the list goes on and on and on.”
“But—it’s Christmas!”
“I know. I know it’s Christmas. But it’s too much and, the truth is, I’ve grown to hate it. And once a year—from about Halloween to New Year’s, I hate you!” Nadine gasped. “I’m sorry, honey,” Phil said. “But Tara’s right. You’re a Holiday Hitler.”
Tara froze. She prayed for the volcano to erupt, wrap her in boiling lava, and nuke her like a microwaved burrito. But it remained still, and silent. But not as still and silent as Nadine. Phil must have seen it too, for he finally stopped talking. “I’m sorry, honey,” he said. “I just—just once—wanted us to have a nice, relaxing holiday.” But Nadine wasn’t listening. She was walking away. Headed straight for the mouth of the volcano.
Tara followed her sister, hoping to steer her away from the edge. If anyone was going to plummet to her death, it should be her. When she caught up with Nadine, she saw that she was crying.
“You—you called me a Holiday Hitler?”
“Once,” Tara said. “I called you that once. I’m so sorry.”
“When?”
“When?”
“Uh. That year that all the Christmas cards had to feature Santa with a child on his lap, the uh, presents had to be wrapped in green paper with red bows or you said they wouldn’t be opened, and uh—we were forced to wear a Christmas-themed sweater at the dinner table, or, or, we couldn’t eat.” Nadine nodded solemnly. Then, she crumpled over.
“I’m a horrible person!” Nadine cried.
“You’re not a horrible person.” Tara wrapped her arms around her sister. “In fact I was glad I got a chance to wear that sweater.” Nadine stopped her with a look.
“I told him I was pregnant,” Nadine said.
“People do crazy things when they’re stressed.” Tara rubbed Nadine’s back. “We all know you mean well,” she said.
“That’s why you came here for Christmas,” Nadine sobbed. “You were running away from me.”
“No,” Tara said. “I was being selfish. You’re the one who gave up all your plans and traditions to spend it with me. That doesn’t sound like a horrible person, now does it?”
“Well, I’ve learned my lesson,” Nadine said. “I hate Christmas. Christmas sucks!” Some Japanese tourists stopped to take their picture. Nadine gave them the finger. Tara quickly hid Nadine’s hand in hers and waved to the group with a big, fake, smile.
“You have to hang on to your joy no matter what,” Tara said. “You have a right to enjoy Christmas. You have to keep it alive for all of us, like Darren’s mom tried to keep it alive for him.”
“But it didn’t work,” Nadine said. “He never even opened the gift! He turned into a Christmas pervert. Life sucks. Christmas sucks!”
“All right, all right,” Tara said, putting her arm around her sister and steering her home. “Let’s go get a drink. And no more nonalcoholic stuff for you.”
“Can I still drink for two?” Nadine sniffed.
“Absolutely,” Tara said. “Absolutely.”
“I didn’t mean to destroy all her Christmas spirit,” Phil said. He paced back and forth on the patio. “She’s in there telling Tiara there’s no Santa Claus!”
“Tiara will forget all about it,” Tara said. “I have an idea.”
“I love her,” Phil said. “I just—sometimes she’s so—”
“I know, I know.”
“But this anti-Christmas Nadine is a thousand times worse.”
“Who would have known,” Tara said. Nadine was in the process of removing every Christmas decoration from the condo. The radio wasn’t allowed to play carols; the tree was stripped of lights and popcorn; she was threatening to find and unwrap all gifts. She was even talking of skipping the luau, and ordering a pizza on Christmas. It was only when she said—
“And I’m going to the Island Pole tonight, and I’m going to laugh my ass off!” that Tara knew what she had to do.
Luckily, with Darren gone, it was easy enough to persuade the other volunteers. She laid it on thick, telling them a small woman’s sanity was at stake. “Just once,” she said. “Just one time—it’s Christmas Eve—please.” They finally agreed. They would have to shut the Island Pole down for a few hours in order to clean it up. Meanwhile, they would send volunteers around to announce that this evening the village would be G-rated, and all the children on the island were welcome. Tonight, it would be the “North Pole,” and there wouldn’t be a whiskey bottle or red lacey bra in sight. One of the volunteers said her child sang in a chorus, and they were quickly booked for the evening. To Tara’s surprise, all the “actors” were for it. Even the Santas, who everyone agreed had the most fun, were for it. When they were done, and the lights came on, and the children started to sing, and all the elves were keeping their hands out of their pants, even Tara had a tear in her eye. The lights glowed, the children held candles and sang like angels, and Tara felt something very much like joy.
They blindfolded Nadine and brought her through. Word had spread quickly, and the line to get in was four times as long as Tara had ever seen it. This time the laughter that ran through the village was mixed with a sense of wonderment. This was stress relief too, Tara thought. She just wished Darren were here to see it. Would he be angry? Nadine and Phil held hands as they immersed themselves in Tiara’s amazement. The sparkle was back in Nadine’s eyes. Things were going to be all right.
“Thank you,” Phil said to Tara. He leaned down and kissed Nadine.
“Thank you,” Nadine whispered.
“You’re welcome,” Tara said. “Mele kalikimaka.”
“Now for your surprise,” Phil said. He turned to Nadine. “Tell her your plan, Nadine.”
“Not another plan,” Tara groaned. Then she remembered, they were trying to make Nadine feel better. “Yea,” Tara said with forced enthusiam. “Another plan.” Nadine laughed.
“I think you’re going to like this one.” Tara listened as Nadine explained her idea. When she was finished, Tara’s eyes were filled with tears. “Do you like it?” Nadine said.
“No,” Tara said. “I love it.”
“Do you mean that?” Nadine asked. Tara crossed her heart. Nadine wrapped her sister in a hug.
“We’d better hurry,” Phil said, “Darren is on his way.”
Darren and Dog stood at the threshold of the village. Tara ran toward them, and before he could say a word, she threw herself into Darren’s arms and kissed him. He kissed her back without hesitating, and it wasn’t until Dog barked that they pulled away. Tara took Darren’s hand, and they walked among the visitors, reveling in the glitter, the song, the laughter. Finally, they reached Santa.
“I’m not sitting on his lap,” Darren said as Tara stood waiting.
“He has something for you,” Tara said. Darren looked at Santa, who was for the first time in a decade not smoking a cigar; instead, he was holding a medium-sized box wrapped in gold paper and topped with a red bow. Darren stared at it. “Go on,” Tara said. “You can do it.”
Darren took the gift, and looked at Tara. “I don’t know if I—” Tara walked up, and put her hand on top of his.
“It’s time,” she said. “It’s time.” Darren nodded and moved slightly away from the crowd. Tara respectfully turned away as he opened it.
“A mitt,” she heard him say. “It’s a mitt.” Tara turned to him. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes as he held the glove to his heart.
“There’s a letter,” Tara said softly. She held it out to him.
“I can’t,” Darren said. “Will you?” Slowly, softly, Tara read the letter. Darren put the glove on. It only covered the tips of his fingers. He pulled Tara into his arms. “Thank you,” he said. Dog nuzzled Tara’s ankles.
“You’re making Dog jealous,” Tara said.
“You mean Nick,” Darren said. “I’m calling him Nick.”
“As in Saint Nick?”
“No,” Darren said. “You’re the saint. He’s just Nick.”
“Believe me,” Tara said. “I’m no saint.”
“That’s okay,” Darren whispered into her ear. “Sinners are still welcome here too.”
When everyone had gone home, and the last of the Christmas lights went quiet, Tara and Darren lay underneath the large palm tree in the backyard, and held each other. “So,” he said. “Now that we’ve cleaned this village up, I don’t suppose I’m allowed to take advantage of you.” His lips brushed her neck, his hands slid up her waist. Seconds later, Frosty was once again covered in a lacey red bra. Darren pulled condoms out of his pocket. “You did not buy red condoms,” Tara said.
“Where’s your Christmas spirit?” Darren said. She laughed. He smothered her mouth with kisses. Then finally, with Frosty watching, they flung themselves to their hearts’ content.
The table overflowed with food. Red and green leis adorned everyone’s neck. Champagne and music poured out with abandon. Their parents danced the hula. Nadine and Phil kissed without mistletoe. Nadine looked more relaxed than Tara had ever seen her. It was as if they were all und
er a spell. Later, on the beach, as the sun was setting, Darren pulled her close to him. “Stay,” he whispered. Dog obediently sat at his side. Darren laughed. “I wasn’t talking to you, Nicky boy,” he said.
Epilogue
One year later
Dear Friends and Family,
I wish I could write you all individually. Wouldn’t I love to have that kind of time! We are spending Christmas in Maui again this year with my sister Tara. We’re happy to announce that our darling Tiara is runner-up in Little Miss Visiting Hula. Phil and I will be renewing our marriage vows at this year’s Christmas luau.
Now on to some exciting news. As you read in my autumn newsletter, Tara and Darren have been splitting their time between the Big Apple and the Big Coconut, as Tara likes to call Maui. But my dear sister has finally chosen her forever fruit, for Tara’s restaurant will be opening in Maui on January second. And even though we know she’s going to be wildly successful dishing up her creative culinary concoctions, we’re all still hoping that Santa will bring us an engagement this year….
Tara put the letter down and just laughed. “She hasn’t totally changed,” she said. “But I wouldn’t want her to.” Darren had a sneaky smile on his face. “What? Why are you smiling?” Darren didn’t answer. Instead, he held out a Christmas present. It was the size of a small book. It was wrapped in golden paper and topped with a red bow. Tara opened it.
“Great Expectations!” she said. “Oh my God—is this a first edition?” The book looked old and worn.
“Not exactly,” Darren said. “Go on.” Tara opened the book. It had been hollowed out. In the center sat a small, velvet box. Tears in her eyes, Tara looked at Darren.
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