by S. Donahue
“My life’s a mess. Don’t follow my lead,” Rachel said giving Gia a look of warning.
“You did nothing wrong. Remember that.”
Rachel just wanted to go home and go back to bed and forget about her worries for a day. Now her issue was that she had only been here for an hour and Vinnie was still at her house. She was not in the mood for him. Rachel ran into Brad on the way out. He was on his way back to the room.
“You’re leaving so soon?”
“Yeah, I’m going home and then to the office. You have to text me the secret code when she’s ready.”
“Okay,” He laughed. “Thanks for everything.”
“No problem… Anytime. Can you do me one favor?”
“Anything for you.”
“Tell my parents that I left. I don’t feel like dealing with them right now. It’s too early.”
“You got it.”
***
Rachel crept into the house. She didn’t want to wake the boys up. She was planning on sneaking into her bedroom and going back to sleep for an hour or so. When she entered, Vinnie was sound asleep on the couch. She didn’t want to wake him, so she just put the throw blanket over him and headed up the steps.
“Hey, you’re back already,” Vinnie whispered.
“Yeah, it’s going to be a while.”
I’m going to lay down for a little bit and then get dressed for work. I can take them to school. I know you have work. I feel bad.”
“Don’t worry about it,” He said blowing it off.
“How’s your Mom?”
“She’s okay. You should reconsider Sunday’s invite.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Can I come up and cuddle with you?”
“Are you nuts, Vin?”
“I miss you so much.”
“Jay and Jeff will be up in an hour.”
“Well at least you’re considering it.”
Rachel walked back down the steps and sat on the sectional. She needed to let him truly know how she felt. She was tired of the back and forth with him.
“Vin, you don’t understand. I can’t go through the hurt again. I’m finally healing. You just don’t understand what I went through. I trusted you. You betrayed me.”
“I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“Well it did. I need to go on and so do you. I think it’s best if you go.”
“I’ll never go on. You’re my wife. We’ll figure it out.” Vinnie kissed her cheek and walked out the door.
Rachel blew out a breath. Everything was a complicated mess. The problem was that she loved Vinnie, whether she liked it or not. She always would, but he hurt her too many times. People could change for the better but actions speak louder than words. She was also so conflicted about Carson as well. On one hand it was not right, but on the other he was her first love. A girl never forgets her first love. Maybe he could be the key to her forever happiness. Colin would be a fresh start for her. It could be something new for her to forget all the pain that she endured over the years. Maybe that is what she needed or maybe she just needed to be by herself. One thing was for sure, she really needed to start to make some hard decisions.
***
Later than day while at work Rachel received a call from Brad telling her to get to the hospital. The baby would be arriving soon. Rachel rushed out of work and drove to the hospital. She couldn’t wait for the baby to make his presence into the world. Rachel called Vinnie to make sure he was taking the boys to baseball practice. She also asked him to stay with them until she got home from the hospital. He agreed and cut their call short. After going through security, she made her way to the maternity floor and sat in the waiting room with her Dad. Her Mom was in the delivery room with Brad and Gia. Brad’s parents were on their way over. It took them longer to get there since they lived further away from the city.
“You okay, baby girl?” Donato asked Rachel as she sat there staring into space.
“I’ve had better days.”
“Hang in there. It will be okay. It will work out the way it’s supposed to.”
“I hope so.”
About an hour later, Brad came out into the waiting room and said that the baby was born. He was seven pounds, five ounces. They named him Bradley Roberts, IV. They were going to let everyone back to see him two at a time. Donato went back first since Carlotta was already back there. When they came out, Brad’s parents
went back next. Rachel had went back by herself. When she walked into the room, Gia was holding the baby. He was absolutely beautiful and perfect.
“Oh My God, I love him,” Rachel said as tears welled in her eyes.
“Isn’t he great? I can look at him all day,” Gia said.
“It’s such an amazing feeling,” Rachel gushed.
“Do you want to hold him?”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. He has to get to know his crazy Aunt Rachel.”
Rachel washed and sanitized her hands. She sat in the chair with the baby. At that moment, nothing else mattered. There was no anger and no drama. He was such a blessing in their lives.
“I’ll babysit whenever you want me to.”
“I’ll remember you said that,” Gia replied.
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you. You’ll find happiness, Rach. I just know it.”
“All I need is my kids and family, as crazy as you all are. Everything else is a bonus.”
Rachel sat with Gia for a while bonding over the baby. They had a connection that would never be broken. When she arrived home from the hospital, Vinnie left right away, barely saying goodbye.
Very interesting… Oh, well.
She went on with her life and cooked dinner for the boys.
Chapter Seven
A month later Rachel was sitting in her office eating lunch and watching Jerry Springer on TV because that’s how her life felt right now. Rachel started cracking up with laughter because all of a sudden the intercom buzzed and Genene was saying code red. That was their sign for when Brad was coming to her office. He may be her brother-in-law but he was still her boss.
“He has a visitor with him, but I’m not sure who it is,” Genene whispered into the phone.
“Damn. Okay, thanks.”
Rachel hoped it wasn’t anyone important because her office smelled like French fries and ketchup. The knock on the door came and Rachel answered with a pleasant smile on her face.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Roberts.”
Rachel had to act professional just in case there were any important suits with him.
“Hey Rach,” Bradley responded.
Informal … Must not be that important.
“I have someone who wanted to see you,” Bradley continued.
“Oh yeah, who is it?”
From behind Brad, Colin emerged. Rachel was speechless. She literally couldn’t talk because he was the last person that she was expecting to see today. Brad and Colin could both tell by the look on her face. She knew he was coming to town for a medical conference but she didn’t know when and she completely forgot about it since Gia brought it up over a month ago.
“Hi Colin,” Rachel finally spoke when she was able to compose herself.
“Hi Rachel, How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
She didn’t want to just come right out and say that she was a train wreck.
“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Brad said slyly.
He probably thought Rachel was going to kill him because of the look on her face.
“Come in my office.”
“Great choice of TV programming,” Colin said jokingly.
“It was the only thing on,” Rachel said, laughing nervously.
Little did he know that she was two steps away from calling to be a guest on the show.
“So, what brings you into town,” She asked as if she didn’t already know.
“I’m here for a medical conference and I’m working on a b
usiness deal with Brad. I’m looking to change over the computer systems in my medical practice.”
“Oh, wow. That’s great.”
“I’m going back home on Monday. Gia and Brad invited me to the christening on Sunday before I leave.”
“That was nice of them. I am the baby’s godmother.”
“Gia was telling me. That’s such an honor.”
“It really is. I love him so much. He is absolutely gorgeous.”
Rachel was upset because Gia never told her that Colin was in town. She apparently had spoken to him and forgot to mention it during her numerous visits to see the baby this past month.
“I was wondering if we could see each other while I am in town? Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?” Colin asked.
“Aww… I’m sorry I can’t tonight; I have my sons’ baseball game. Maybe we can go out on Wednesday night,” Rachel countered.
“That sounds great. I’m really happy to see you.”
“Me too,” She lied. Colin was the farthest thing from her mind. She hadn’t spoken to him in over a month.
“I’ll call you later and we can figure out all the details. I have to get back to Brad and finish our meeting,” Colin said as he kissed Rachel on the cheek and walked out of the office.
Rachel had so much to figure out. At least Vinnie has left her alone for the moment. She didn’t know how long it was going to last but it was nice while it did. She saw him at the baseball games and sometimes on the subway, which was awkward, but he still refused to divorce her. Her relationship with Carson was a whole different story within itself. She went out to dinner with him a couple times and some lunch dates. She wasn’t sure where it was leading but it was very complicated. She now knew why people put their relationship status as “It’s complicated” on Facebook. Rachel had a date with Carson, which was the real reason she couldn’t go out with Colin, but she couldn’t break his heart. They were going to dinner and the movies.
***
The boys were sleeping at Vinnie’s house since school was out for the summer. He was taking them to Dorney Park the next day. He had begged Rachel to go with them as a family, but she didn’t want to give her sons false hope, so she declined the
invite. She did make sure all their bags were packed and they had everything they needed. They were very excited about the day trip. Meanwhile, she was starting to feel giddy about her date with Carson. He was picking her up at 7 P.M. So far, their dating has been kept a secret. She honestly didn’t want to hurt anyone, but Carson said he didn’t care who knew. He and Maria were completely over. Maria told Carson that she met a guy her own age that she wanted to pursue further and that she wanted to keep her options open.
Carson and Rachel’s date tonight was casual, so she put on a pair of GAP capri jeans, black BCBG heels and a black and gray BCBG striped shirt that fell off of her right shoulder. Just as she was checking herself in the mirror, the doorbell rang. It was Carson and he looked hot. He was wearing a light blue striped Ralph Lauren button down shirt with a pair of jeans. His cologne was turning her on badly. She was about to pull him in the house and say fuck the movie. This is what happens when you’re forty-one and haven’t had sex in a very long
time.
“Did you park?” Rachel asked.
“Yeah.”
“Come in for a minute. Do you want a beer or a glass of wine?”
“I’ll take a beer.”
“Okay,” Rachel said as she popped the top off the beer, handed it to him and poured herself a glass of wine.
“Rach, you look very sexy tonight,” Carson says seductively.
“Thanks, Carsy.”
He was standing in the kitchen entry way leaning against the wall. She needed to get a hold of herself because she was getting wet.
“Rach, come here.”
“Yeah.”
“You still turn me on the same way you did back then,” he whispered in her ear.
Rachel was now blushing and her heart rate felt like it had hit the ceiling.
“I guess my job is done,” she said with composure.
Carson chuckled. As she started to walk back to the counter to down her glass of wine, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him. He turned and pushed her up against the wall. He gave her a hot, seductive kiss that left her panting for more. He grabbed her ass with his left hand and put his right hand behind her head and starting kissing her neck. She was burning up with passion. She totally forgot about the movie because her juices were starting to flow. She hadn’t felt like this in a really long time.
He started to rub his hands between her thighs. She was now moaning with pleasure. She wasn’t sure if she should stop because she knew it could go further but she wanted him to continue. She could feel his rock hard cock pushing into her through his jeans, just waiting to be released and allowed to plunge into her.
All of a sudden out of nowhere, Carson whispered in her ear and started to pull back. “Rach, I’m sorry. I respect you. You turn me on so much, I lost control.”
“Don’t be sorry. I feel the same way.”
He kissed her on the lips again. “Let’s go out and cool down. We can grab a drink at the bar after the movie.”
“I just need to fix myself up.”
A couple hours later, Rachel and Carson emerged from the movie theatre. He reached over and held her hand. She had a huge smile on her face.
“I really enjoyed the movie. Thanks so much. I had fun. You picked a great one, especially since Channing Tatum was in it. He’s my favorite actor.”
“As long as I make you happy, that’s all that matters,” he said as he reached over and kissed her cheek.
After the movie they decided to go to a swanky bar in Center City to avoid any unnecessary drama. Carson ordered a beer for himself and a glass of white Zinfandel for Rachel. They became entrenched in conversation and the wine was flowing smoothly which is not good for someone who doesn’t usually drink. Rachel started to feel a buzz coming on after her fifth glass. She was concerned because once she started drinking she will say whatever comes to her mind, which is a bit scary. She knew Carson could tell that she was starting to get drunk.
“Carsy, you’re so hot and you smell so good.”
“Thanks,” he said smirking at her.
“Whaaaat are you laughingggg at?” Rachel said slurring her words. “You’re so cute when you smile.”
“You’re so cute when you’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunkkkk.”
“Yeah, okay. Let’s go home.”
“As long as you’re cumming with me.”
Oh dear God, did I just say that?
Carson unlocked the door and walked Rachel into the house. He was unsure of where to lie her down since she was so far out of it.
“Where do you want to sleep at? Do you prefer the couch or the bed? I’ll tuck you in?”
“Are you going to stay with me?” Rachel asked.
“I’ll make sure you’re okay.”
Carson carried her up to the bedroom because that was what he thought he heard coming from her mouth. Rachel looked around subconsciously remembering her room. She sat down on the bed… barely. Carson was standing in front of her.
“Why don’t you lie down and rest?” he pleaded.
“Come here,” Rachel asked as she reached up, grabbed his face and pulled him towards her. She kissed him recklessly. Carson pulled away.
“Rach, I don’t want to take advantage of your alcohol induced ass. As much as I want to, you’ll hate me in the morning.”
“I can never hate you. I’m still in love with you,” she confessed.
“Are you crazy? You have no idea what you are saying.”
“Yes I do. The truth comes out when you’re drunk.”
“Carsy?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m gonna throw up.”
Carson ran into the bathroom to grab the trash can and ran back as fast as he could. He made it back just in time.
He rubbed her back and held her hair as she vomited. When she was finished, he laid her down and covered her with a blanket. He went to the other side of the bed, stripped down to his boxers, slid in next to her and cuddled her to him. As he laid there, he ran his fingers through her hair over and over to give her a sense of relief.
“You’ll feel better tomorrow... I promise you,” he whispered.
Rachel fell into a drunk-induced slumber, feeling comfort able in Carson’s arms.
Chapter Eight
Panic set in as Rachel woke the next morning. Her head was splitting and she had no idea what time it was. As she turned over, she became mortified. Carson was lying in bed next to her sound asleep. She tried to get out of bed, but she physically couldn’t. She was so sick. Rachel had to call Genene to let her know that she wouldn’t be in today, but she couldn’t find her phone. Normally she kept it next to her on the nightstand, but she had no energy to look for it. She drank too much last night and vowed never to drink again. Carson was starting to wake up.
“Are you okay?” He asked, with a concerned look on his face.
“I can’t find my phone.”
