by Leanne Banks
Sara watched him walk away and felt as if she’d been stabbed in an artery and left to die. The pain was so intense she doubled over from it. Taking deep breaths, she tried to tell herself to calm down. She was overreacting. She’d known her relationship with Gavin and his children wasn’t forever. She’d known it. She’d reminded herself every day. This wasn’t a surprise, she tried to tell herself.
Sara realized that she might have known it in her mind, but she hadn’t known it in her heart. Feeling utterly broken, she forced herself to rise from the sofa and go to her room. She went through the motions of brushing her teeth and washing her face, then went to bed. Her heart hurt so much that she couldn’t imagine going to sleep. Something inside her broke open like a river of pain. Suddenly, she began to cry. Deep gusts of tears burst from her. She tried not to sob because she didn’t want anyone to hear her, but her grief over her missing brother and all the upheaval and, most difficult of all, losing Gavin and the children put her over the top.
She’d tried to hold it all together for so long, but now at this moment she just couldn’t.
Sara wasn’t sure when she’d fallen asleep but she awakened with a headache, salty cheeks and burning eyes. If this was love, she wasn’t sure she was a good candidate for it. It was far too messy and was actually the worst thing she’d ever experienced. This was worse than being lost in a fire and suffering from burns and smoke inhalation as a child. Dragging herself from bed, she stood under the shower for a few minutes and waited to feel like a normal human being again. After her skin shriveled, she suspected normal wasn’t in the cards for her today.
Pulling on her clothes, she put her hair in a loose bun and stiffened her spine as she walked toward the kitchen. By the sound of Gavin’s and the children’s voices, she could tell that the children were already awake and he was probably giving them breakfast. She stepped into the room. “Good morning,” she said brightly.
“Mornin’, Miss Sara,” Sam said, his mouth full of cereal. “Can we make cookies again today?”
“I’m not sure there are any left, but we can if there are.”
She glanced at Gavin and he gave her a quick nod before looking away from her as if he wished she didn’t exist. Another stab, she thought, and she bit the inside of her cheek at the pain.
“Did you have fun with Binnie?”
Sam nodded. “She took us outside and made me run around the yard a lot.”
“I’ll bet she did,” Sara said, smiling at Adelaide. “And how are you this morning, sweetness?” Adelaide paused in picking up one piece of cereal at a time to beam at her. “It must be a good day if you’re not pulling at your ears or mouth.
“No teething at the moment?” she asked Gavin.
“No sign of it, but that could change. You’ll excuse me, but I need to get to work. Binnie said for you to call her anytime if you need backup. I’ve arranged for her to cover this coming Saturday. I believe that’s your scheduled day off,” he said.
“I hadn’t thought about it. I’m flexible,” she said.
“No need. We’ve got this under control,” he said as he left the kitchen.
He was so cold she wondered if she would get freezer burn. Her heart longed for his flirty smile and kind eyes. But she wasn’t likely to see them ever again, she told herself.
Sara took enormous comfort from her time with the children. She knew she would have to tell them that she couldn’t go with them when they left, but in the meantime, she cherished every moment in their presence. When Gavin arrived home, he gave her the same dismissive gaze he’d given her this morning. It pierced her soul, and that night she surprised herself by crying again.
Sara couldn’t remember feeling this overwhelmed by her emotions. She did know, however, that she needed to talk to the Devereaux family about Tabitha’s pregnancy. In the past, she’d always channeled her requests and questions through Princess Ericka. This time, she asked to speak to both Prince Stefan and Princess Ericka. There was too much at stake and the Devereaux family deserved to have this information in order to make plans.
Nervous, she paced outside Stefan’s office. His assistant waved her in. “His Royal Highness and Her Highness will see you now,” he said. Sara followed him inside the office. Stefan stood with Eve and two of his children. A gorgeous little girl with curly hair and blue eyes was coloring in a coloring book. The little boy was running his car around the edge of the carpet. Eve and Ericka chatted while Stefan talked on the phone.
Eve glanced up. “Well, come on in,” Eve said, and Sara felt the woman study her face. “Are you feeling okay? You look a little blue under the eyes, like you’re not getting enough sleep. I know that same feeling and look. That’s why I ask,” she said.
“I’m fine. Just busy with the recent move and Christmas coming up so soon.”
“I understand,” she said. “I love Christmas, but I’m looking forward to January, too.”
“It’s good to see you. I hope the house is working well,” Ericka said.
“The house is lovely,” Sara said.
Stefan finished his call and stood. “Miss Tarisse,” he said, extending his hand. “How can we help you?”
“Your Highness,” she said to Stefan.
He gave a crooked grin. “And you. Please have a seat.”
“Oh, do you need me to take the children out?” Eve asked. “After your meeting with Stefan, we’re dragging him away from his office for a little family outing.
“The subject matter is a little sensitive, but I suspect it will go right over their heads,” she said as she sat down.
Eve’s eyes widened and she glanced at her children. “They look pretty busy to me, so I think it should be fine.”
“Thank you for agreeing to see me. I’ll try to keep this short. When my sister and I were invited to take refuge in Chantaine, we were told that for the sake of safety, we needed to change our identities.”
Stefan and Ericka nodded. “I know it’s been difficult at times.”
“It has,” Sara said. “But what’s been more difficult is that my sister and I were not supposed to be seen together in public. With our brother still missing and our lives turned upside down, we really would have benefited from being able to live with each other and support each other.”
Ericka gave a glance of sympathy. “Chantaine is an international destination. We were just so concerned about the threats, and we were afraid you would be more likely to be recognized if you were together.”
“The reason I’m here is because we’re not going to be able to avoid being seen together in public any longer, and I just think it’s fair that I tell you before we make that change,” Sara said.
Stefan tilted his head and she could see that he’d earned his reputation for intimidation just by his expression. “And why is that?”
“Because my sister is pregnant and she is going to need my help,” Sara said.
With the exception of Stefan’s son making car sounds, the room turned utterly silent.
“Well, I guess that makes it a different kettle of fish,” Eve said with her Texan twang.
“This wasn’t planned,” Sara said. “We understand if you want us to leave Chantaine.”
“Oh, that’s ridiculous,” Eve said.
“Absolutely not,” Ericka added.
All eyes turned to Stefan. He cleared his throat. “Perhaps we can work something out.”
“I don’t understand why this has to be such a big secret,” Eve said. “They’ve been gone for a year. They’re clearly not bleeding any money from their country. Did you take any expensive souvenirs when you left?” Eve asked.
“Oh, no. A couple of suitcases, but we left everything, including the family jewels, behind,” Sara said.
“I think it’s time to let our international security representative and your contacts in Sergenia know that the sisters are living here like church mice, so the citizens of Sergenia can stop blaming them for all their economic issues,” Eve said.
; Ericka pressed her lips together, appearing to cover her smile.
Stefan rubbed his hand over his face. “It may not be that easy. There are channels.”
“And nobody wants to get on your bad side,” Eve said.
“That’s true,” Ericka murmured as if she’d experienced Stefan’s bad side.
Stefan sighed. “Okay. Let me see what I can do. I’ll make some calls and try to get some answers in the next few days. In the meantime, how is your sister doing?”
“She was very upset and frightened when she first learned that she was pregnant, but she has calmed down. She has a bit of nausea, but she’s managing it.”
“Do stay on top of her condition. If she needs to be seen by the palace doctor, he’s available to her.”
And Sara liked him for that.
“And about the father?” he asked.
“I don’t think he’s going to be involved. He’s not returning calls.”
His jaw hardened in disapproval. “I’ll get on this after my outing with the children. If she needs anything, please assure her that she is not alone. The resources of the palace are available to both of you.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I must ask one more favor. Is there any word of my brother, Alex? If we just knew if he was alive...”
“Our investigations have hit several walls regarding your brother. If it helps any, we have reason to hope he is alive. I’ll try to get more information,”
Sara rose and left the room with Ericka by her side.
Her eyes filled with tears and she furiously blinked them away.
Ericka looked at her. “Are you okay?”
Overwhelmed with gratitude, she swallowed over the lump in her throat. “I didn’t know what to expect when I went into see the two of you. I’d braced myself for the possibility that you would want my sister and me to leave and that we would immediately need to begin searching for a safe haven.”
Ericka put her arm around her. “Oh, Sara. We’re not that heartless.”
“I know you aren’t, but Stefan has a lot on his shoulders. His decisions can affect a lot of people. Not just two princesses who fell out of favor in their home country.”
“Don’t spread it around, but my brother has the heart of a lion and a lamb. He’s very protective and, even though he’s a bit bossy at times, he’s a wonderful man. Even more wonderful with Eve in his life. He’ll work this out. He’s an excellent negotiator. Try to enjoy the holiday. You’ve had enough on your shoulders.”
“Thank you,” Sara said. She was so relieved for Tabitha’s sake, but this didn’t change the fact that she had already lost Gavin and she would soon be saying goodbye to the children.
Sara stopped by a beach before she returned to the house. It was a little chilly, but the sight and sound of the waves coming in to shore soothed her. Surprising that she had grown up in a landlocked country, yet she connected so much with the ocean. She drew in the scent of the sea, willing it to heal all her hurts. After a little while, she returned to the house.
Gavin greeted her with questions in his gaze. “Another emergency?”
She shook her head. “It turned out better than I expected. I hope to be able to share it with you sometime. You mentioned that you wanted me to tell the children that I won’t be able to go back to the States with you. Is it okay with you if I wait until after Christmas?”
“Yes,” he said. “But don’t wait too long.”
Sara’s heart broke again. She wondered how that was possible when she’d thought it was already shattered.
Chapter Fourteen
Christmas Eve arrived and Sara received a phone call from Ericka after lunch.
“I have good news for you,” she said.
Nearly in tears with the report, Sara immediately called her sister to share the news. Tabitha also cried and promised to attend the gathering at Bridget’s house that evening. Bridget had decided to host a Christmas Eve party in addition to Christmas dinner. Sara disconnected the call and knew what she had to do next. She needed to talk to Gavin. He had been so cold and disinterested during the past few days, and it was going to be difficult.
Mentally girding herself, she walked into the den and found Gavin playing a video game with Sam while Adelaide wormed her way across the carpet. Adelaide was days if not minutes away from crawling. Life would certainly be changing then, Sara thought. She wondered if Adelaide would crawl before Gavin and the children left for the States. She felt the stab of loss and wondered when the feelings of grief would end.
Sam glanced up from the video game. “Merry Almost Christmas, Miss Sara,” he said.
Her heart turned over at the sweet greeting. “Merry Almost Christmas to you, Sam,” she said in return. She then looked at Gavin without quite meeting his gaze. She couldn’t bear to see the cool distance she’d found there during the past few days. “It’s probably not the best time, but when you get a chance, I can give you a few answers to those questions you’ve been asking. And not asking,” she added with a brittle laugh. “I’ll give Adelaide her bottle and put her down.” She scooped up the baby and took her back to the nursery.
As she rocked Adelaide, she whispered everything she wanted the baby to know for the rest of her life. “You’re an amazing person. Already,” Sara said. “And you’re gorgeous. You will always be gorgeous, but it’s more important to be gorgeous inside. You’re going to be a strong, wonderful woman. I’m already proud of you,” she whispered.
Smiling beneath the nipple of her bottle, Adelaide lifted her plump baby hand and brushed Sara’s nose as if to say You’re a funny lady, but I like you.
Sara chuckled softly. “I love you,” she whispered. “I love you.”
Adelaide finished the bottle and Sara lifted her to her shoulder. That was all it took to release any excess air. Then Sara put the baby in her bed and tried to memorize her features—her ivory skin and nearly invisible eyebrows, her plump rosy lips and shocking red hair. Such a precious sight.
Sighing, she turned around to find Gavin watching her from the doorway. She walked toward him and he closed the door behind her. “Sam’s down for a nap.”
“That was fast,” she said.
“I’m curious,” he said, his gaze still remote.
Oh, this was going to be difficult. She swallowed over the lump in her throat. She told herself he deserved to know the truth and even though it was too late for their relationship, she wanted to be fair.
They sat on the couch and she fought a sudden attack of nerves.
She saw a flash of concern in his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want a glass of wine?”
She took a quick breath. “It’s not my habit, but I think I’ll have a sip, thank you. It’s Christmas Eve,” she said. It’s my moment of truth, she thought.
Gavin returned with a glass of rosé.
“Thank you,” she said. “Where do I start?” Her mind blurred. “Oh. I’m not sure how cohesive this is going to be, but I’ll do my best. First, in answer to your question as to why I can’t go to the States with you... There’s no gentle way to say this—my sister is unexpectedly pregnant and she lives here.”
“Your sister lives here?” he asked, confused.
“We were actually sent here. More on that in a moment. As I told you, this may not be completely cohesive. The father of my sister’s baby is nowhere in sight. It appears he’s not interested in being involved.
Gavin’s face hardened. “She should find the father.”
“She doesn’t really want the father if he doesn’t want her,” Sara said. “And she’s pretty sure she wasn’t in love with him. She was careful, but things happen. She wants to keep the baby. I have to help her. My parents are dead. My brother is missing. I am all she has, so I must be here for her.”
“That was the emergency,” he concluded.
Sara nodded. “She was hysterical. We’ve had a tough couple of years. I had to assure her that she wasn’t alone and that we would work this out.”
“Then why can’t we bring her with us?”
Sara’s brain jammed. “Pardon me?”
“Why can’t your sister come with us?”
Sara was so overcome with his immediate response that she began to cry. She shook her head, unable to speak. This kind of generosity was the last thing she had expected.
Gavin reached toward her. “What did I say? What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said. “That offer was just so generous and loving and everything good. I’m overwhelmed.”
“When you say you’ve had a bad couple of years, what do you mean?” he asked.
She sniffed. “I’m from a very small country called Sergenia. It’s so small, you might not have even heard of it. Our country’s economy slid into a terrible decline. We were blamed, banished and our lives threatened. That was why we came to Chantaine. The Devereaux family has been so wonderful to us,” she said, knowing her words were spilling out in a disorganized form.
He shook his head. “Why were you banished? Did you do something to kill the economy?” He waved his hand in a sharp dismissive slice. “You know what, I don’t care what your secrets are. I know who you really are and I’m in love with you. I want to marry you.”
Sara was so shocked she almost passed out. She stared at him. “Can you please repeat that?”
“I love you,” he said. “I’ve never met a person who made me feel more whole and challenged me at the same time. I want you in my life forever. Marry me, Sara,” he said.
“Are you sure?” she whispered.
“I’ve known for a while now. I just hoped you felt the same way.”
“Oh, I do,” she said, flinging herself into his arms. “I didn’t want to love you, but I did. And the children. I felt as if I would die without you, but I had promised I wouldn’t reveal my past. There’s more to tell,” she added.
“The most important thing you can tell me is that you’ll marry me. It doesn’t have to be today or tomorrow, but let’s make it soon.”
“Yes,” she said, feeling as if she’d been brought back to life. “I’ll marry you.” She trembled as she said the words, but in a good way, because she knew it was so right.
