by SM Blooding
Scarves of purple and blue covered everything except her hands and her eyes.
Large and doe-like, surrounded in a flurry of long, dark lashes, her black eyebrows high. What was a high priestess?
A feeling swept through me that was not mine. An ancient knowing, an understanding of life. Acceptance of things outside my control. Determination to contain things within it. An overwhelming sense of life and its extreme proximity to death.
Death.
Guilt washed over me. It took control of my entire existence.
Why? the foreign voice asked.
My heart answered before I could stop it. I survived. He should have. His death was my fault.
Another question, a gentle nudging of curiosity. Who?
My heart and mind stilled. My father.
Understanding filled me, infusing me with a comprehension that life meant death.
I fought it. I didn’t want to understand. I didn’t wish to forgive, to lessen the hurt, the anger, the rage. My father had died to protect me. The El’Asim Family needed him, not me, not my sister, Zara, who refused to lead them. They needed my father.
The foreign voice rummaged through my heart and pulled out an emotion I’d attempted to bury: contempt twisted with love, respect, and lust.
Nix.
I let out a guttural growl. Kill, was my only answer.
Satisfaction was the voice’s reply.
My eyes flared, the priestess’ face growing fuzzy before sharpening back into focus again. What was she doing? How could she enter my heart, my soul?
The priestess hadn’t moved. Her silver rings and embroidery gleamed in the flickering firelight. Those large, brown eyes stared at me.
What little body heat I had departed as chills ran down my spine, shooting icy fingers along my bound arms. I was powerless. I had no way to defend myself. If she could enter my mind, she could find out things I had to keep secret, technologies the Families had developed.
I forced myself to stop thinking, slamming down walls in my mind before I gave away any more.
Radio? came the tendril of thought laced with mild interest.
No, I muttered in my mind, repeating it over and over. I couldn’t allow her to have that information. No, no, no, no.
Protect? The word was infused with what I felt for my family; the love, the respect, the acceptance.
Yes.
Visions flooded my mind, filled with emotions; horror, disbelief, despair, loss . . . being unutterably alone.
My father burning alive, his face rigid, his eyes boring through me.
Loss, overwhelming, completely taking over. Guilt.
The children Nix had saved, only to kill later to prove a point because I had dared refuse her.
Guilt and disbelief rolled into disgust.
The sound of the lethara’s screams as his jellyfish body was blown to weeping bits, his black-blue blood dripping into the ocean, his mountainous body writhing in pain.
Beyond belief. Incredulous. Guilt.
My best friend’s plane buried in sand, never to be seen again. His face crestfallen as his pride-and-joy was smothered.
Numbed beyond pain, beyond the notion of self-recrimination. Guilt for destroying my best friend’s hope.
The sound of Keeley’s voice over the radio, terrified and begging not to be left behind.
Desperation, the need to protect a treasured friend.
The poisoned tides filled with red, killing all life in its path.
Terror and the burgeoning comprehension of responsibility.
The faces of those still living, desperate to know how they were going to survive, what would happen to them next.
Weight, heavy and unmoving, understanding the mistakes made and the feel of blame.
I knew all of these memories. They were my own.
My mind shifted, my focus altered and skewed. People I didn’t know stood in cages, their faces covered in dirt, their eyes filled with the kind of desperate sorrow that was inescapable.
This was not my memory.
The night was high, Kel’Mar’s pale red glow added a sense of doom to the scene.
The cage and all those in it were being buried.
Alive.
The dirt fell on them with slow and solid thumps. The air was still. I could smell the salt. We were close to the ocean, though I couldn’t see it. I stood on a hill overlooking the cage of people.
A child sobbed behind me. I turned. There was the younger version of my friend, Keeley. Her red hair was matted, her face covered in mud created by her tears. She reached through the cage at the top of the hill and cried for those she watched being buried alive.
A yellow glow wrapped around her arm and the dirt hill beside the cages collapsed, falling on them, the flimsy sticks of the cell bars cracking under the weight. People screamed. Children cried. The night dissolved into chaos.
My fault, a female voice said softly. My fault.
But there was more.
She knew guilt—the guilt of knowing she’d destroyed innocent lives. She knew disgust—disgust and self-recrimination for allowing herself to be used in such a despicable fashion. She knew the feeling of being completely inferior, insufficient. She was desperate to repair what she had done. She’d been weak. She understood rage. She felt it herself.
Seething, roiling, building, growing, changing, morphing.
I stared at the priestess as my heart touched the memories of emotions that weren’t mine, but were so similar.
Her gaze never shifted.
The vision shifted, tilted. Above them was Queen Nix, standing atop the pile of dirt on the other side of the pit. Her gold, gear-work crown, the three twisting phoenixes twinkling in the light of the red planet. She appeared to be unaffected as she watched arms shoot through the dirt, people clawing their way out of the earth. The queen looked directly at me and nodded once.
I felt the weight of taking a soul.
Aiyanna blinked and the memory faded. She said nothing for the longest moment.
I knew. Her loyalty was not with the queens. Nor was it with the Families.
Her loyalty was for the people.
This was something I could fight for. There was no side.
“How?” I croaked.
“Carefully.” Her voice was soft and had a slight lilt to it.
I let that thought fill me. Could I fight, not for the Hands, not for the Families, not for the right of power . . .
But the freedom to live?
Yes.
She blinked, her large, brown eyes lifting. “Are you with me, Synn?”
I thought about it long and hard. My limbs ached, my joints complained as the moment stretched on. This made more sense than anything had so far. I nodded.
Her eyes closed and she took in a long, deep breath. “Good.” The leather bindings relaxed.
I fell to the cool stone with dull thumps.
“Then we are done here.”
I lay on the floor, still unable to call on the power of my Mark. Was it that easy?
“Is anything?”
I stared up at her from where I lay sprawled at her feet. “No.”
She turned away. “No.”
The door closed behind her.
My heart said I’d made the right decision. This path felt right, but I knew it was going to be difficult.
Nothing worthwhile was ever easy. Could I really do what was being asked of me?
CHAPTER 2
TRUST
I had no idea how long I slept. I only remembered Aiyanna. She was in all my dreams, but what those dreams were, I couldn’t remember.
I only remembered being accepted.
Ever since that fateful day when my father had died and my Mark branded me, I’d lost a great deal; my home, my family, my friends. While my Family would allow me back, my very presence endangered them. My close family no longer looked at me the same. I wasn’t the boy I once was. I was now a man, a very powerful one, and something to be feared. Ev
en my older brother, Ryo, looked at me with awe, though he hid it well. He was more on guard in my presence—Oki and Zara as well.
So to be so completely accepted by this woman, this priestess, who had somehow delved into the depths of my heart, seen what was there and did not turn away, was a gift. Her heart and mine connected in those dreams in a way I’d never experienced before in my life. It was similar to the bond I had with Nix, but with one distinct difference. This priestess didn’t want to use me, and she wasn’t afraid of me.
She knew what true fear was, knew the difference between those who earned fear and who earned disdain.
I slept in peace.
When my eyes finally opened, the light streaming through the window was warm. Kala, the big orange sun, was climbing the sky. Filmy curtains fluttered on the wind. The large, ornate room filled with the smell of salt and wet dirt. We were close to land.
The walls were painted blue and silver as were the chairs, tables and rugs. Everything was done in the colors of the Swords.
Gentle footsteps padded toward me.
I blinked, trying to rid myself of sleep. The fog was a like a web, refusing to let go.
A soft hand settled on mine, and warmth filled my heart.
Aiyanna? I opened my eyes, a smile on my lips.
Nix stared down at me instead. A soft smile played at her lips, but her eyes were filled with triumph.
I jerked and pushed myself away. The blankets tangled with my feet. My limbs remained sluggish as I pried my mind from the dream fog. I fought the urge to sink into her arms, and the urge to strangle the life out of her.
My shoulders relaxed. My heart rate slowed. Control was mine.
That easily? The last time I’d been in Nix’s presence, it had taken every ounce of will I had to not grovel at her feet. I frowned and stared at Nix through wary eyes. Was I cured?
Nix’s expression crumbled. Her ruby red lips smashed together as tears fell from her dark brown, heavily kohled eyes.
I waited for the overwhelming need to comfort her, but it never came. Could the bond have been broken?
She reached for me, pulling me toward her.
I resisted, but my body lacked the will to fight her.
“Synn,” she said, her voice like velvet. “You’re back. You’re back.” She held me for a long moment, my head resting on her black-clothed bosom. Her ruby spider lay centimetres from my face, its diamond eyes glaring at me from its tiny, black face.
Was I free? If so, what should I do with that? I wanted to wrap my hands around her throat. I wanted to watch as the life slowly faded from those intoxicating eyes.
My arms froze at the thought of hurting her. My brain pounded above my right ear at the idea of watching her face redden as she struggled for breath. My right ear rang as I pictured her eyes bugging from her head, her diamond cat-clawed hand trying to pull mine from her throat. Beads of sweat popped along my hairline, and the muscles in my neck tightened until I felt another headache coming on, this one at the base of my skull.
Sky! When would I succeed in being rid of her?
She pulled away, setting me gently on the pillow.
I stared at her. She’d changed. Fine wrinkles lined her shadowed eyes. Her long, luscious black hair had subtle traces of silver, mostly around her intricate crown. The gears worked, spinning the three phoenixes on their perches.
If anything, time had only made her more beautiful.
How could something so toxic be so alluring?
I had to shut off that voice, make it go away. I wasn’t there for her. I was there for my Family, to keep them safe. Whatever had happened during my drugged state, I at least had a little more control. That’s what mattered.
Her dress fit her body like a sheath. Each breath brought her breasts further into view before hiding them from me again. She said absolutely nothing.
A bug buzzed in my ear. The curtains fluttered on the breeze. The pounding in my skull intensified.
I forced myself to relax into the mattress a little, the headache beating the fog out of my brain. “Nix.”
The corners of her full lips rose as she whispered, “Synn.”
My voice sounded more like a croak, but at least I could speak. “What are you doing here?”
She shook her head slightly, devouring me with her gaze. “Checking on you as I have been doing for the past several weeks.”
“Weeks?” How was that possible? How long had they bound me in that cell? Had she checked up on me then? Or had I been in this bed for weeks?
“Your injuries were greater than we’d expected.”
Injuries. I didn’t—then I did remember. I’d been shot several times trying to save Keeley, to aid her escape as Sky City fell, but I’d healed myself before being captured. Dyna and Aiyanna hadn’t mentioned anything about wounds. Which meant only one thing.
She was lying.
“Our hospitals are non-functioning.” Her eyes pierced mine. “Since you and your friends destroyed the power cells. You crippled my city.”
I narrowed my eyes, never looking away. I clenched my jaw to stop it from shaking. I could stand up to this woman. I would. “We didn’t cripple it, Nix. You did.”
Her expression softened as she brushed my cheek with her red-nailed finger. “No one will believe you. You boarded our city to destroy it. That’s all the queens will ever believe. I love Sky City and there is nothing I would do to endanger it.”
“Except destroy it.” She was cunning, but so completely transparent. Why weren’t more people able to see right through her? “What was the point? What were you hoping would happen?”
Her smile widened as she leaned down, her long, black hair falling around me, filling my nose with the scent of flowers and musk. Her gear-work crown ticked lightly. “Exactly what happened, Synn. War has been waged on the Families. They will fall to their knees, beg for my forgiveness.”
I tipped my head ever so slightly, my words brushing along her lips. My heart raced. With her so close, it would be easy to claim those lips with my own, to—Dear Sky Father! “They will never accept you.”
She ran her nose along mine.
Bile rose in the back of my throat and my shoulders tightened as.
“I don’t need their acceptance.”
I raised my face closer by a hair’s breadth to whisper in her ear, “You need their love, not their fear. You will have neither.”
She pulled away, her brown eyes twinkling. “Oh, I shall have both.” She caressed my cheek. “My Primus.”
I jerked back.
How did I have any hope of bridging a peace between the Great Families and the Hands of Tarot as Nix’s knight if I couldn’t even restrain my reactions to her and that name?
Nix blinked seductively. “You will lose, Synn. Whatever game this is, you will lose.”
I fell into the bed exhausted, my heart a heavy rock in my chest. Fighting her, fighting myself fighting her . . . It took all my energy just to remain myself in her presence, but it still wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been mere weeks before. There was hope. “I have to try.”
She brushed my dark hair out of my face. “Yes.” Her eyes met mine. “You do.” She stood and turned away. “I want my knight returned to me. You may tell my sister that if he isn’t returned to my care within the night, she will not like the consequences.” And with that, Nix swept out of the room.
I wanted to feel relieved that she was gone, but the only thing I felt was emptiness and the longing for her touch.
Aiyanna came into view and gingerly took the spot Nix had vacated, the bells on her scarves tinkling. She set her hand on my chest.
All the tension — the need, the drive to submit — dissipated with an explosive breath. I stared at the ceiling, my mouth open, and just breathed, bringing back the calm, coming back to myself.
“She is a powerful woman,” the priestess said.
I turned my gaze to her, so petite, so fragile, and yet so strong. My heart swore it knew her, but my h
eart had been tricked before. After all, it had somehow allowed itself to be bound to a psychotic woman.
She pulled away and folded her hands in her lap, dropping her gaze.
Silence filled the room as I stared at her.
“What is she?”
Aiyanna looked up at me, a frown furrowed between her thick brows. “What do you mean?”
“What is she to your religion? Is she a witch? A god?”
“No. She is a woman. We have no witches and we have no gods.”
I stared at the ceiling. So she’d used no magick. I had no excuses for falling into her trap. “You’re a religious order that has no gods? Then what is Tarot?”
The faint line of her lips lifted through the pink veil covering the lower half of her face. “Tarot is simply a messenger. He brings us answers through our cards.”
“Messages from who?”
She lowered her eyes. “From the energy of life or departed spirits.”
“But no god.”
“No.”
I swallowed and returned my gaze to the ceiling. “And no magick.”
“We each of us have magick, Synn. You most of all with your Mark.”
Silence gathered.
“Nix is the only person we know who has been able to increase the power of her Mark. It’s said that when she first came to us, her Mark was small. However, over time, it’s grown.”
My jaw muscles twitched. “How?”
“We don’t know.”
That was great. Marks weren’t supposed to grow. They’d been known to shrink as the years passed, but once a Mark was born, it stayed the same. Except with me. I closed my eyes. Why? Why me? Why Nix? “You cannot tell me you’re not a witch. You’ve changed me somehow.”
She met my gaze unflinchingly. “I’m trying to give you what you need to stand up to her.”
My heart told me she spoke the truth. Her eyes shone with what I took as honesty and my gut told me to trust her. Experience told me I was being played. “Who are you?”
She blinked. “I am High Priestess Aiyanna.”
“I know your name.” I had to know if I could trust her as my soul told me to. “Why are you here?”
“To help you.”
“To what end?”
She opened her mouth, the pale veil sucked against her lips before fluttering away again.
