The sooner she was gone from this place the better.
She moistened her lips. “If you would just step out of the room for a moment, I’ll change quickly.”
She heard his pants hit the floor and his body slide between the sheets and blankets. “This is my room. You don’t like the arrangements then leave. Then you can explain who you really are, Mrs. Pitt.”
Frustrated, she whirled around and found him lying back on his bed under the covers with his hands tucked behind his head. “If you’re determined to be so difficult, why did you help me out in the first place?”
His gaze bore into her and for a moment he did not speak. “Why did you help me today?”
Alanna’s frustration melted. “It didn’t seem right you going out there alone.”
“A lot of women wouldn’t have helped. You did help and I appreciate that.”
Unexpected fear tightened the muscles in her back. “Is it always so bad when you go out?”
“More often than not.”
“Don’t you ever worry that you’ll drown?”
“Every time.”
Pride welled inside her as she thought of him battling the seas. She never could imagine Henry taking such a chance or even her father for that matter. Caleb was a breed apart.
But then she’d known from the beginning that he never fit any mold, or marched to anyone’s drummer. He followed his own course. “Thanks for helping me with the Randalls.”
“Sure.”
She offered a wan smile. “I don’t suppose you could dip into this newfound gratitude we’re sharing and leave the room for a few minutes.”
He unclasped his hands, yawned and nestled down under the covers. “Sorry, Mrs. Pitt, but either change in here or tell the Randalls the truth.”
Alanna gritted her teeth. “You’re determined not to make this easy for me.”
He rolled on his side as if he were bored. “You could’ve told the truth.”
Caleb yawned again and closed his eyes. Alanna stood there, unsure of what to do. Why did this have to get so complicated?
She’d have stayed dressed as she was if the cold from her wet clothes wasn’t seeping into her bones. Shivering, she rubbed her hands over her arms hoping to get warm. She stamped her feet. She paced the room.
“Get out of the damn clothes, Alanna,” Caleb said, his eyes still closed.
It struck her then that she was being foolish. Here she was freezing to death because she didn’t want him to see her naked. How utterly foolish!
Alanna turned her back to Caleb and reached for the hem of her shirt. She pulled the wet wool over her arms. Cold air met damp skin. Her nipples puckered and she started to shiver. Quickly, she opened the chest and pulled out another sweater. She tugged it over her head and immediately her body started to warm.
She unfastened the buttons on her pants and started to peel the wet fabric over her hips. Her pants were halfway down her legs when Caleb sighed and rolled on his side. Eyes closed, he was facing her.
Keeping her eye on him, she removed the pants and then slipped on a dry set. Caleb’s long, lean body took up most of the bed. The sheets and blankets only reached halfway up his torso. Her gaze was drawn to the steady rise and fall of his chest. Even in sleep, his face was tense and tight. He never let his guard down.
As she fastened the top button, she realized Caleb’s pants were enormous on her. The sweater reached past her knees and the pants hung a good eight inches past her feet.
Alanna sat down on the trunk and rolled up the pants legs. However, when she stood the waist slipped halfway down her hips.
Fisting a handful of fabric in her hand, she moved to the small mirror on the bureau. Her skin looked a shade paler than normal. Sticking out of her braid were stalks of sea oats. She picked the dry weeds out of her hair, which now felt as coarse as straw. She’d have sold her soul for a comb.
“Top drawer, right side,” Caleb said.
Alanna whirled around and found his head propped up on his elbow. “You’re awake!”
He rubbed his eye. “You’re making enough noise to wake the dead.”
“You should have said something.”
“Why? Then you’d have stayed in those wet clothes and caught your death.” He nodded toward the dresser. “Top drawer on the right.”
Caleb stared at her with such intensity that her skin tingled. Her gaze dropped to his muscled chest. She felt her nipples harden.
She blinked. “What?”
“A belt and a comb. You need both.”
She gave herself a mental shake. “Yes. A belt. These pants are huge on me.”
“One of my better pairs so be careful.”
She rummaged through the drawer and found the long black belt. She started to wind it around her waist.
“Why are you doing that? The buckle will dig into your skin.”
She hooked the loop through the buckle. The belt was cumbersome but she was warm. “No, it’s fine.”
“Aren’t you coming to bed?”
Nervous laughter bubbled out her. “With you?”
“We’ve slept together before. Besides, I’m too tired to do anything.” He sounded so reasonable, as if he didn’t care one way or the other what she did.
She knew better. “Sure you are.”
He’d made it clear that he’d sleep with her. He’d also made it clear to her that he didn’t love her. She only wished she could say her feelings were as black and white as his. After today, she was beginning to wonder how deeply her feelings for him ran.
He looked all innocence. “Are you afraid of me?”
Alanna was already moving toward the door and reaching for the doorknob when she said over her shoulder, “Like the plague.”
Chapter Ten
Alanna didn’t care that her muscles ached and that she’d have traded her favorite pair of shoes to sleep in a warm bed. She simply wanted to put distance between her and Caleb.
She wasn’t angry with him anymore. She even believed that she had begun to make peace with the past. The problem now was her feelings. They were much like a flowering bulb that had just endured a long cold winter. The sun was out and dormant feelings were coming alive.
She moved into the kitchen. With everyone else asleep, the house was quiet. Toby, who’d been sleeping on his pallet by the stove, thumped his tail. “Hey, boy.”
Toby yawned and put his head back down.
Alanna started to clean the dishes the others had left on the table. Stacking the bowls, she placed them next to the sink. She pumped water from the pump by the back door. The water was brackish and discolored, but until the rain stopped and she could get fresh water from the barrels outside, it would have to do.
She scraped the bowls clean, dumping their contents into a garbage bowl. Hearing the spoon click against porcelain, Toby rose and moved slowly over to her. His tail was wagging.
Alanna lifted an eyebrow. “Oh and I suppose you’re looking for scraps?”
He barked.
She laughed and kneeling down, set the bowl full of food scraps down. The dog immediately shoved his muzzle in the bowl and started to eat. She stroked his back. He wagged his tail.
“I am going to miss you, boy.” She’d also miss the sharp fresh air, the beach and the sound of the crashing waves, which had lulled her to sleep the last couple of nights.
She’d also miss the sense of purpose she’d felt today. She was glad she’d been there for Caleb—to steady him when he’d nearly toppled into the water. She’d been glad she had the skills to cook a hot meal for the Randalls, the boys and Caleb.
Alanna rose and started to dunk the bowls into the cold water.
“I thought you’d be asleep.”
Debra Randall’s soft voice had Alanna turning. The other woman had changed into an oversize calico dress that Alanna recognized from the large trunk of castoffs. The dress’s drooping bodice accentuated Debra’s rounded belly. Her face was pale but her eyes bright.
Alan
na offered a smile. “I could say the same about you.”
Debra, supporting her swollen stomach with her hand, took a seat at the kitchen table. “I know. Thomas is already sleeping heavily. But with the baby’s moving, I just couldn’t get comfortable.”
Fascinated, Alanna asked, “Does he move a lot?”
“A lot. I think he’s wearing shoes.”
“When is the baby due?”
“November.”
Sadness twisted inside Alanna. She thought about the baby she’d carried for only a couple of months. The babe would have been just over a year. It would have been crawling around. Likely it would have had Caleb’s black hair and maybe her green eyes.
Alanna’s throat tightened. “You must be very excited.”
Debra smoothed her hand over her belly as if cradling the babe inside. “We were only just married seven months ago and this baby was a surprise to us. But we are excited.” She rubbed her hand gently over her belly. “Thomas wants a boy.”
Caleb would have liked a son. Tears welled in her eyes. Alanna turned back to the sink and tipped her head back so the tears wouldn’t spill. “Have you thought of names?”
The names Debra listed went over Alanna’s head. She was too busy, trying to stamp back her own sadness and get control of herself. She pulled in a deep breath. She refused to travel back in time. What mattered was today. “I like those names,” Alanna said absently.
Debra wrinkled her nose. “I’m not so fond of Edgar. But it is Thomas’s father’s name.”
“Edgar Randall. I like the sound of that.” She could feel her equilibrium returning. “So Thomas has a new church in Richmond. You must be very excited.”
Debra nibbled at the bread. “Thomas is excited.”
Alanna heard the uncertainty in the young woman’s voice. She placed the first clean dish on the counter next to the sink. “And you’re not?”
“It’s a great opportunity.”
She dunked another dish. “But…?”
Debra sighed. “But my family is in Savannah. I thought we’d be there longer, at least until the baby is born.” She fingered the cheese. “And now the ship and all that we owned are lost.”
Alanna had sold so many of her own possessions over the last two years to keep the creditors at bay. She understood the heartache of watching cherished items being carted off one by one. She remembered something Caleb had told her years ago. “I’ve heard that when possessions from shipwrecks wash up on shore they’re taken to town and auctioned.”
Debra’s eyes brightened. “Do you think some of our things made it?”
Alanna shrugged. “I can’t say, but it’s worth asking when the storm clears. I’m sure Caleb will know what to do.” Caleb seemed to know so much. His confidence—and yes, his arrogance—could be comforting.
She finished washing and stacking the dishes. She dried her hands and then the plates.
Debra took Alanna’s hand. “Thank you again.”
“You’ve already thanked me twice.”
“I can’t thank you enough. When the ship’s captain was washed overboard, I was certain we’d die. I was so afraid.”
“Caleb is the real hero. I just helped.”
Debra shook her head. “I saw the way you held the boat in place. And when you jumped to your feet and steadied him, it was so brave. He’s very lucky to have you at his side today. He couldn’t have rescued us without you.”
Alanna doubted that. “Caleb is so full of fire and vinegar I truly believed he’d have found a way to keep that boat steady while you climbed aboard.”
“You underestimate yourself. You have a brave and compassionate heart, Mrs. Pitt.”
Alanna stiffened. “Call me Alanna.”
“Alanna,” the woman said testing the name. “You don’t look like an Alanna.”
Rising, she poured herself a cup of coffee. “Oh really, why’s that?”
“Alannas strike me as spoiled and silly. You’re neither of those.”
Alanna laughed as she moved toward the stove. She poured a cup of hot water into a cup and then sprinkled tea leaves into it before she set it in front of Debra. “Don’t be so sure of that. I have very selfish moments.”
Debra warmed her hands around the cup. “Thank you. I can’t imagine you ever being selfish.”
Alanna laughed. She remembered a time when she’d pouted for an entire day because her shoes did not perfectly match the gown she’d ordered for an opening. “Are you hungry? I have more stew.”
“Couldn’t eat another bite.” Debra motioned toward the chair beside her. “Sit and talk with me.”
Alanna took the seat. It felt good to get off her feet and she thought again about the warm bed waiting for her. If only Caleb weren’t in it.
Debra sipped her tea. “What brought you out here?”
She shrugged. “In truth it was Caleb.”
Debra leaned back, nodding as if she understood. “Love is a powerful force. It makes women do many unexpected things.”
Love. No, no, no. Her heart began to race at the thought. Yes, she cared for him, but love. No, loving Caleb would be the worst thing that ever happened to her. “I don’t know if love is the right word.”
Debra’s eyes sparkled with interest as she nibbled a piece of cheese. “Then what would you say it was?”
Alanna folded her arms over her chest. “Anger. Frustration. Fury.”
“Ah,” she chuckled. “My mamma used to say anger and love were the opposite sides of the same coin. I remember when I met my Thomas. He could make me so mad I could spit fire. He liked to tease me. He knew me so well he could push just the right buttons to make me fighting mad. I’ll bet it was much like that with you and your Mr. Pitt.”
A faint smile touched her lips. “He used to tease me about the way I wore my hair. He hated it pulled back in a tight chignon—said it made me look like an old-maid schoolteacher. I used to get so mad and he’d just laugh.” She’d not thought about that in so long.
Until now each time she visited the past she’d felt nothing but regret. She’d always told herself that she’d been a fool to let Caleb Pitt into her life. As she thought back to that first dinner they’d shared, she remembered the reasons she’d wanted him.
“I’ll wager your Mr. Pitt wasn’t a patient suitor. He strikes me as a man of action and few words.”
Debra’s words struck close to the truth. Caleb had never been one for tender words. “Our first dinner was at my father’s house. It was a disaster.”
She leaned closer. “What happened?”
“Father wasn’t happy that I’d invited Caleb to dinner. Father thought he was much too rough around the edges and wasn’t suitable for me.”
“I’m sure Caleb quickly won your father over.”
“Caleb has a habit of speaking exactly what’s on his mind. He didn’t agree with Father on some discussion about boats and he wasn’t afraid to speak his thoughts. Caleb was respectful but he didn’t back down. Father wasn’t pleased—he was used to always having his way. As I remember, Father asked him to leave early.”
“When did you see him again?”
Alanna smiled at the memory. “Two days later. It was at All Saints Church.”
Debra clapped her hands in excitement. “Thomas knows the pastor there. Reverend John son.”
The comment brought her up short and for a moment she couldn’t speak. “This story must be boring you.”
“Not at all! I want to hear every detail. What happened at the church?”
Alanna became very aware of each word she spoke. She wanted to tell her the truth but feared each word would one day get back to Henry. “We had a clothing drive. Caleb brought a cartload of sweaters and pants—he said it was unclaimed cargo, but I suspect he bought it—the clothes were hardly worn.”
Debra pressed her hands to her face. “How sweet.”
“It was.” She traced circles on the tabletop with her fingertip. “He let it slip that he’d be at a ship auction
that afternoon. I went. From there it was dinner almost every night.”
Debra’s eyes warmed. “When did you know you loved him?”
Alanna let her mind drift. “We were attending a large party. His ship the Intrepid was being launched. He’d worked so hard to have that ship built and he was so proud. Everyone wanted to talk to him. He was the man of the day.” Absently her hand went to her wrist. “In the midst of it all, he pulled me aside to give me a bracelet. It was so delicate and lovely. He placed it on my wrist and kissed me. I knew then that I loved him.” Days later the bracelet had disappeared. She’d torn her room apart looking for it. She’d been too ashamed to tell Caleb of her carelessness.
“Knowing Mr. Pitt now, I’d bet you had a short courtship.”
Alanna felt her skin warm. “Caleb had wanted to marry me within two weeks. I’d have married him but Father insisted on a large wedding. I was his only child and he wanted the best for me.”
Caleb had been disappointed at the news. He’d wanted a quiet ceremony in a seaside chapel with just family and very close friends. But she’d tried to convince him that this was something her father wanted to do for them. The extravagant wedding was his way of accepting Caleb. Besides, she’d said, what were a few months when they had a lifetime. In the end, Caleb had agreed to wait.
Now as she thought back she wondered about her father’s true intent. Had the wedding plans just been a way to delay their marriage? Had he known then he’d blow up the Intrepid?
“Was your wedding a grand affair?” Debra’s voice bubbled with excitement.
“Yes,” she said absently.
Instead of the lavish dress design, detailed plans and grand guest lists, she remembered the quiet moonlit moment she’d shared with Caleb in his cabin when they’d exchanged vows. In the end it was just the two of them. Perfect.
They’d intended to repeat their vows at the formal wedding, which never was to be. After the accident, she’d spent weeks returning the gifts. She’d written notes of apology until her hands cramped. And then there’d been the baby.
Why did it always come back to the baby? It had been two years since the miscarriage. Tears tightened her throat. “When did this discussion become all about me? My heavens. I am being selfish.”
Mary Burton Page 10
