by P. M. Briede
He fell to the side as he sucked air into his lungs like someone who’d been submersed underwater for far too long. Catching the sunlight from the window his skin held a light sheen from sweat and that certain post-sex glow. I rolled up onto my side so I could watch him in a more comfortable position. When the thundering sound of my heart faded from my ears and the clouds drifted out of my eyes, my fingers tentatively found Wesley’s only to be immediately snatched into a vise grip by his hand. When he tugged gently and said no words, I understood we were both back in control. It was safe for me to curl into his side.
Trembling at his touch as his fingers ran up and down my spine, I began my own explorations of his chest. My fingertips met the cool metal of the chain around his neck, reminding me what I’d discovered before our sexual detour. Pulling myself up on my elbow, I caught his eyes as my fingers searched out the ring that had to be somewhere along the chain. “So now can you spare enough time to explain to me why my engagement ring is dangling on a chain around your neck?”
Wesley choked on the answer with his first attempt to give it a voice. Rather than be frustrated, he grinned broadly and pulled my face to his for a gentle kiss. Apparently that was the remedy he needed, though his voice was ragged. “Partly as a way to keep Abigail from hiding it from me again, since I found it in her things after Cheval righted my mind. Partly as a way to keep myself on track. It served as a reminder that I hadn’t lost you yet.”
It was touching that such a small item kept him grounded. I knew what I wanted to do. It must have been divine intervention yesterday morning that made me switch purses to the one I’d been using in March. I excused myself to return to the public rooms of the cottage and dug through my luggage, putting on the shirt he’d given to me at Christmas. His playful, but not without seriousness, impatient voice called my name. I sang back to him, “Patience is a virtue, my darling. Don’t move, I promise you won’t be disappointed.” Quickly fishing through the zippered compartment of my purse, I pulled out the token that had drawn me out of the bedroom in the first place.
Once back in the doorway, I paused, waiting for Wesley to realize I’d returned. He’d pulled back the bed clothes and when he rolled over seeing me, he proclaimed, “This moment, sexiest ever. I am disgruntled that you chose to put clothes back on, though. I’ll forgive this transgression if you come back and let me make it right.” His eyes sparkled with promise.
I laughed as I approached him. His brows shot up and his eyes widened when I pulled the sheet over his naked lower half. I sat down beside him and took a deep breath. “Love, what’s bothering you?” He tried to pull me back into his arms as he spoke and when I resisted I watched him swallow his distress.
“I need something…” I began
“Name it and it’s yours,” Wesley jumped in. Sometimes his attempts to finish my thoughts were endearing, sometimes they were downright annoying. Right now, it was annoying.
“Wesley,” the aggravation laced my tone, “please let me finish. This is going to be hard enough without you butting in constantly, or guessing at my intention or direction.” The evident seriousness I had just introduced into our tête-à-tête floored him. Sitting up straight, he squared his shoulders as if preparing for a blow that was going to decimate his world.
I exhaled my anxiety. “I made a mistake, months ago,” I confessed. “One that almost cost us everything.” Wesley opened his mouth to protest but when I narrowed my eyes at him, he clamped it shut. “You asked me a question, I gave you an answer, and then I let all the crap life threw at us, get into my head and I pulled away. When I think about all that could have been avoided if I’d just remembered why I said yes instead of getting tangled up in all the logistics of how we were going to make something work that I already knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, would, I can’t help but get superbly angry with myself.”
Without saying a word his hands went behind his neck so he could undo the clasp of the chain. He was sticking to the letter of the law I’d outlined before starting even if he wasn’t upholding its spirit. The act of Wesley removing the ring from the chain was almost more of a distraction than him voicing his assumption. When he took my left hand I glared at him, jerking it back to emphatically put it in my lap with my fist clenched. With a cock of his head, quizzical eyes peered at me as he settled back to let me finish.
I closed my eyes to focus on the calm I needed to get through this last part and the happiness I knew awaited me on the other end. “I know we can’t get legally married until this mess with Celinda is taken care of, since there can be no public records. But I also know there is a distinct possibility we may not survive in order to get married on the other side of this. While I can’t do anything about what the world will perceive from this day forward, I can do something about what we know. I’m naming today, Wesley. I’m claiming this moment as ours. It’ll only belong to us and we’ll do whatever you want to make it legal when we can. But I don’t want to die as Charlotte Grace, not in my heart. From now on I want to live as Charlotte Breaux.” Tenderly I took his left hand and placed it between mine. “That is if you’ll still have me?”
I’d finally done something that rendered Wesley completely unresponsive. He couldn’t even nod, so I took the silence as acquiescence. “I take you to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’til death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.” As I reverently spoke the words, I slid the ring I’d purchased six months ago, and then subsequently forgotten in the zipper compartment of my purse until I’d discovered it at the hotel last night, onto his finger. The feel of the warm metal jolted Wesley, forcing his wide, disbelieving eyes to our hands. “I love you, my darling Wesley, and I will for all the days of my life.”
Given how he’d responded to everything so far I was stunned when he didn’t miss a beat after the last word died from my lips. “I take you to be my wedded wife.” The emotions roiling through him choked him for a moment and he needed a few deep breaths before his husky voice could continue. By this point the tears of joy were spilling from my eyes and all I could do was smile encouragingly at him. “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’til death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness. I love and adore you, my love, my Charlotte, and I will for all the days of my life.” He’d always handled me so deftly in the past, but this time when he tried to slide the ring onto my finger, he dropped it, twice. After the second time, I saw why. He was shaking, uncontrollably. With my right hand I took his to help steady him and this time he was successful in sliding the symbol of his undying love in place.
Since Wesley still seemed in shock from what had transpired, that I’d not only chosen him but in my own way married him, I leaned forward until my forehead rested on his. “So, how much longer are you going to wait to kiss your very eager bride?” He wasted no time not only in claiming the lips of his new wife, but also my body.
Having found his pleasure in me for the third time in as many hours he finally commented on our impromptu wedding. “I am beyond happy, my love, my wife.” With a chuckle Wesley tugged at my collar, pulling my lips down to his for another deep kiss. Releasing them to speak, his breath tickled my neck. “Maybe tonight will also bring us our first child,” he pronounced with sparkling eyes.
I pulled back as far as his arms would allow to meet his roguish eyes with nervous ones of my own. “You can’t have forgotten that it’s not a simple task for me, right?” I tentatively reminded Wesley.
“Shhh, I haven’t forgotten. But I believe in the power of positive thinking.” His hand slid from my waist to cup my abdomen as he shifted us to lay me on my back with him on his side next to me. “And a little internet research,” Wesley admitted with a devilish twinkle in his eye.
Astonished, I admonished him. “Is that what all that n
onsense was before? Something you read online that told you would help impregnate me?” There was nothing apologetic about his demeanor. He was thoroughly pleased with himself. “Mr. Breaux, in the future I expect you to not treat me like a test subject in a science experiment! I’m now your wife not a case study!” I wasn’t necessarily mad. The damn man was being too charming for that.
Wesley didn’t acknowledge me at all until after he’d placed a gentle kiss on my stomach. “I don’t know how to explain it but I just know that in nine months you’re going to make us a family. Besides, technically, Mrs. Breaux,” his tongue savored my new name, “at the time you weren’t my wife, just my lover.” I swatted his arm and tried to push him away in mock agitation but he leaned down to put his lips to my ear so his words washed over me in an erotic caress. “And hopefully there will never have to be a distinction between the two again.” He ran his hand along my inner thigh to caress the space between.
“Easy there, lover,” he groaned at my deflection because so far I’d held him at bay. “There’s no rush. We have all weekend to honeymoon and I suppose continue your experiments.” My smile faltered when he quickly broke the lock of our gaze. “Don’t we, Wesley?”
“Um, damn it!” he spat. “No, we don’t. You see it’s not out of character for me to disappear before big speeches or debates to write in private but I’ve only ever taken one day. Since I got here last night to get the cottage set up for you…”
My grip on his arms tightened. Today was all I was going to have? I mean I knew I wasn’t going to get to take him home. Hell, we still had to figure out where home was going to be since it was looking more and more likely that Alexander was going to be our next President. But I had thought I’d get to play house with Wesley for a few days, taking just a little time to figure out our future. “What time do you have to leave in the morning?” I asked after swallowing my disappointment.
Broken-hearted eyes found mine. “I’ve got a six hour drive and I’m expected back in Cincinnati for a one o’clock meeting.”
“So before the sun comes up.” The words came out as a whine. It was just like before. Most mornings I’d awoken alone in bed and typically gone to sleep that way only to be disturbed sometime in the night when Wesley would finally succumb to exhaustion but not sleep before making love to me. Searching his eyes, I could see the struggle being waged in their depths. Leaving wasn’t anywhere close to being what he wanted. If death was off the table, he wouldn’t go back. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I brought my fingers to trace the lines of his brow. “I know this is honestly, probably the hardest on you. I won’t make it more difficult. How much time do you need from what’s left of today to finish preparing for Tuesday’s debate?”
He blinked in surprise. “None,” Wesley said with great relief. “The work’s already been done. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends to ensure the little time I had today could wholly be focused on you.”
I leaned in to have him feed my insatiable hunger for him when another type voiced its argument. I hadn’t eaten today. “Time to get out of bed,” Wesley chuckled, “you’re now eating for two.” I shook my head as he laughed, let him pull me out of bed, and sat there watching him dress before we went to the kitchen to fix some lunch.
The afternoon and evening went much like the morning. A few conversations, a few jokes, quite a bit of love-making. I felt like a horny teenager but I couldn’t help myself, Wesley was just immensely tantalizing. I absolutely could not resist the temptation he presented, especially since I only got him for the day.
Wesley hadn’t been happy when I let slip I was living at Olivier’s but after much discussion, and persuasion, he agreed we all still had to maintain our roles. To the outside world, Olivier and I were the happy couple, Wesley was engaged to Abigail, and he and I were barely on speaking terms. So we also set up a code since “I love you” would be off the table for us. From now on when we wanted to express our love we’d do it with a simple “take care of yourself.” Until we were no longer in any danger that was how it had to remain. Wesley also informed me that he planned on not being the White House Chief of Staff. I tried multiple times to talk him out of quitting, that this was his dream. Together, without Celinda’s interference, Alexander and he could do so many great things.
When Wesley admitted it had been his dream, that it wasn’t any longer, I listened. A real life with me, in Louisiana, with hopefully our family, that was his dream now. “Had I come to that realization seven months ago when I proposed, I might have saved us all from this nightmare. Now all I want is to do good work and if Alexander wins, combined with the work I’ve been doing over the last few months, it should restore my reputation. I’ll be able to do just that, only now for the people of Louisiana. That’ll be enough. You are enough, and you always will be.” It was time to let Wesley compromise and let go of an old dream so we could embark together on his new one.
I relived that day and the three that followed because, no, Wesley hadn’t left the next morning like he was supposed to have. And I should have chastised him. I should have pushed him out the door. But just as he couldn’t walk away from me, I couldn’t let him. The morning we finally parted for what we thought was the last time I’d clung to him, hugging him tightly for at least ten minutes. Even though they’d intensified Celinda’s already burgeoning suspicions because he’d been incapable of returning to the campaign as the same man, we had needed those days.
As my skin felt the first waves of heat from the approaching fire that would end my life, destroy my soul, and erase me from the minds of everyone I left behind, I was grateful. Grateful Wesley and I had taken that time because it was all we were going to be afforded as husband and wife. Hearing voices scream in terror, hearing my voice join them, the last thought I had was a fleeting question. Why was the light emanating behind my lids blue instead of green?
Chapter 17
Wesley
“For God’s sake do something!” I was staring at the doctor, dumbfounded by his poise and lack of haste. “It’s obvious she’s in pain!”
“Wesley! Calm down, it’s not uncommon for this process to be less than comfortable.” I closed my eyes so I didn’t glare when my gaze returned to her. She was lying in the bed. The sweat was pouring down her face and almost masked the few tears that had escaped her eyes. Her hand was gripping mine. There was an amused smile curling her lips but her eyes weren’t as bright.
Charlotte opened her mouth to criticize me some more, I’m sure, but before it could come, she howled in agony. I jumped when I felt a hand on my arm. “Mr. Breaux, the best thing you can do for your wife is to remain calm. This will pass,” the nurse said in an annoyingly calm tone.
This bout Charlotte fought alone at last, did. “Darling, she’s right,” Charlotte said between heavy breaths. “You’re working yourself into a tizzy. Women have been doing this for centuries.” Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper and I strained to hear it over the monitors. With a tug on my arm she inclined her head to me. I knew what she wanted.
Resting my forehead upon hers, I took a deep breath. Just like always, she was right. With a forced serenity, I apologized. “I’ll never put you in this position again, my love. I had no idea it would be like this for you.” The medicine hadn’t taken the pain and her health had slowly deteriorated over the last few months.
Charlotte called me out with a smile. “Don’t make me a promise neither of us may want you to keep. Let’s just get through this and take our future one day at a time.”
“Mrs. Breaux, I think it’s time to push now.” Finally the damn doctor was ready to actually take care of my wife!
* * *
“Mrs. Grace, what are you doing in that bed?” The agitated voice that woke me up sounded distant. There was a weight on my chest I didn’t understand, something heavy wrapped around my foot and hand, and my left side was pressed against something solid. Every muscle in my body was sore. Since the voice the only noise I could make out was
a steady beep. Everything together was so confounding I finally decided to open my eyes.
Yet, when I did the world was hazy and I couldn’t make heads or tails of anything. Given I typically can identify any surrounding and be prepared with an appropriate plan of action within seconds, the truth of having no idea where I was or what was going on was distressing. The beeping sound from before increased and the weight on my chest eased a little. Wait! The voice asked Mrs. Grace a question. That meant Charlotte was here.
The idea that my wife was with me, wherever I was, brought me great relief. But why didn’t the voice ask for Mrs. Breaux? Did I just imagine we’d gotten married? It wouldn’t be the first time. I’ve been dreaming of marrying Charlotte for years. I turned my head to search for her but again all that met me was colorless fog.
“I’m not moving,” Charlotte’s voice finally found my ears and I was shocked by the hardness in her tone. Unlike the previous voice she sounded clear and close.
“Mrs. Grace…”
“It is not Mrs. Grace,” Charlotte barreled over the other voice. “It is Mrs. Breaux and I am not moving from him.” I have never before heard her be so belligerent with anyone. She’d not raised her voice but there was an edge to it. But she’d confirmed for me that we were in fact married, that I hadn’t concocted that in my mind again. She is my wife. My heart thrummed from the idea and the beeping sped up again. “Is Nurse Janison still here?” There was a pause before she continued. “Please get her for me.”
When the door closed a hazy peach fell into my sights. “Wesley! Oh, my God. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you. We’re in the hospital, darling. There’s a breathing tube in your mouth to help stabilize you. They had to re-break your foot and hand. The splints helped protect your veins and kept the blood flowing but they didn’t set your bones correctly. You have a few hairline fractures in your ribs but overall you are going to be fine.” Her hands were running all over my face and there no longer was any pressure on my chest but there was some movement in whatever I was pressed up against. She must be lying in the bed next to me. Of course she’d know what I needed most to recover was her.
