I would have squealed when he picked me up, but I was too caught up in his kiss. He made it to the bedroom without opening his eyes, making me wonder how many times he’d done this before. But as quickly as that thought surfaced, I squashed it. I wasn’t going to think about Nex’s other women now. Tonight, he was mine.
He lowered me to the bed slowly, coming down on top of me as I wrapped my legs around him, wishing we’d taken the time to shed the rest of our clothes. I couldn’t wait to feel every inch of him. In me. On me. Over me. Under me. Any way and every way I could get him.
Nex kissed a path down my body, only pausing long enough to flick the front closure of my bra, allowing my breasts to spill free. He looked his fill before swirling his tongue around my nipple while tweaking the other with his fingertips.
I squirmed against the bedding, caught up in a plethora of sensations: the softness of the sheets at my back, the roughness of his hands gently scraping my skin, the lick of heat as his tongue worked me over while inspiring a surge between my legs.
I arched my back as he stripped my jeans off, followed by his. Stretching my hands over my head, reveling in the way his eyes devoured my breasts, I appreciated the fact he’d left a dim light on so I wouldn’t have to miss a moment of this.
“Tell me what you want,” he said, his eyes wandering all over my body before settling on my yellow lace panties.
“I want you to lose those,” I said, rubbing my heel over his impressive erection. “I want to see you. All of you.” I wasn’t used to being so upfront in the bedroom, but I knew my old rules didn’t apply with Nex. I could be free with him, the person I’d always wanted to be.
“That can be arranged,” he said, shedding them slowly as a smile worked its way across his handsome face. “Better?”
My throat was dry as I nodded. “Much.”
“Your turn.”
I expected him to take my panties off, or better yet, tear them off, but I was happy to oblige. I slid them down slowly, feeling sexier and more desirable than I ever had when he licked his lips as though I’d just offered him a succulent treat he couldn’t resist.
“Better?” I asked, parroting him as I opened my legs just enough to taunt him. All of the nervousness I’d been feeling earlier vanished as my body’s desires took over.
“God, I want to destroy you.” His eyes flicked to mine. “In the best possible way.”
“So what’s stopping you?”
He took his hard shaft in his hand. “This. If I do everything I want to do to you, I’m not sure who’ll get off first, you or me.”
I smirked, watching his hand with fascination, wishing it were my mouth. “Why don’t we find out?”
With a groan, he dropped to his knees, kissing my thighs as he murmured against my skin, “I’ve been waiting months for this, for you. Do you know how many times I’ve done this to you in my dreams?”
He’d been dreaming about this? I thought I was the only one who had. “Not as many times as you’ve done it in my dreams.”
His heated gaze clashed with mine, and I knew admitting he’d been the star of my naughty fantasies was akin to pouring the gas and lighting the match.
His tongue moved leisurely at first, as though he were intent on testing my resolve, but as soon as I thrust my hands in his hair, a plea slipping from my lips, he lost it, consuming me. What started as embers grew into flames winding through my body, engulfing me, until I couldn’t see anything but the flashes of light behind my closed eyelids. I couldn’t hear anything but the sounds of my own desperate cries filling the large room, and I couldn’t feel anything but him drawing every last drop of pulsating pleasure from me.
By the time he worked his way up my body, I could barely breathe, but I didn’t care about something as inconsequential as breathing, not with his weight pressing me into the mattress while his rock-hard erection promised satisfaction at a whole new level.
He kissed me passionately, tangling his hands in my hair, my scalp tingling just enough to make me claw his back and shift my body, silently pleading for him to end the torturous wait.
When he reached over to snag a condom from the nightstand, I knew my wait was over.
Seconds seemed like minutes as I watched him roll it on while I wondered how it was possible for a man to be this sexy. I’d heard about air-brushed perfection that created lines and definition where none existed, but I’d never experienced a man with the complete package in the flesh before. I knew I’d never forget this moment when he possessed me completely for the first time. Like Jade said, a memory for the bank, when life was mundane and boring and I needed to remember the brief moments of ecstasy.
He brushed my hair off my face while aligning our bodies. “Never too late to back out, Jaci. Just say the word if you need more time.”
I couldn’t believe at a moment like this, when he had to be clinging to self-control by a frayed thread, he was still checking in with me. Making me fall just a little deeper with just a few words because he cared enough to make sure I wanted this just as much as he did, to put my needs, my feelings first.
“I’m sure.” Surer than I’d ever been. Unlike the first time with Scott, when I’d been caught between a teenager and a woman, this time I was older, wiser, more certain about the choice I was making and the man I was making it with.
He took his time, kissing me while my body slowly stretched to accommodate his. I’d expected it to be rushed, frenzied, since we’d waited so long, trying to deny our attraction, but Nex had more self-control than I thought possible. His pace was gentle, as though we had all the time in the world to explore each other.
While he picked up the tempo, I kissed his neck. My hands traveled over his back, admiring the play of muscles in sync with his powerful thrusts. Getting lost in him was easy; separating from him would be the hard part. But I didn’t have to think about that now, not yet.
All of my senses were on high alert as the frantic need for him to increase the intensity roared through me. I was so close. I just needed…
Before I could even express it with words, he read it in my eyes, giving me exactly what I needed. My whole body buzzed as my muscles tensed, the blood pumping through my veins and roaring in my ears as I fell into some parallel universe where my sole purpose was to experience this.
He kissed my face tenderly, repeatedly, as my body slowly recovered, my heartbeat returning to normal.
It had been a long time since I’d had sex, but the fact he didn’t seem as desperate and frantic as I felt made me wonder how long it had been for him.
“What are you thinking?” he whispered in my ear.
“You seem…” There was no way to express it without letting my insecurity creep into the mix and mar a perfect moment. “So in control.”
He chuckled, sounding short of breath. “Definitely not. I’m trying to hold on, to make this good for you.”
Was he kidding? If it felt any better, I’d pass out. “Please.” I didn’t know what I was asking for, but I suspected it was to see that savage side of him, the one I’d glimpsed at the party when he thought my safety was in jeopardy. I wanted to know I affected him the same way he affected me.
He eased back, fisting his hands on either side of my head. The veins in his neck were more prominent, and a sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead, but the thing that excited me even more was the unrestrained look in his eye. I knew I was going to get what I’d been hoping to see. Nex unleashed.
His thrusts became vicious, almost brutal, rocking me to my core. But still I wanted more. I wanted everything he had, to prove to him that I could take it, that my body had been made for his.
He finally let go, unleashing a litany of broken curses while dropping his head, his arms shaking.
I didn’t think I’d ever seen anything hotter than watching this formidable man come undone.
His eyes were clenched tight, his breath coming in harsh gasps as I pulled him close, needing to feel that rush of his overtaxed heart
beating against mine. That moment, that connection, made me wonder how I’d ever lived without that experience. I thought I’d been in love before, but it had never felt like this with Scott.
Chapter Nine
Nex
“I don’t want you to go.” Like ever. I was holding her close, kissing her neck, her hand linked with mine, and she was talking about heading home. As far as I was concerned, she was home. Right here, in my arms.
“I don’t want to go either, Nex. But I have to work tomorrow.”
“How about after work?” I knew I was being selfish. She had a life to get back to, but I wasn’t ready to let her go. I didn’t know if I would ever be ready for that.
“I have to study. I’m not even supposed to be working tomorrow. It’s supposed to be a study day, but Kelly begged me. I think her son has a baseball tournament or something. She didn’t want to miss it.”
“What will Kelly do without you?” More importantly, what the hell am I supposed to do without you? Now that I’d had a taste, I felt ravenous for more.
“They’ll have to hire someone to replace me,” she said, sighing. “Who knows whether they’ll be able to give me the same hours when I get back in the fall. I guess it’s just a chance I’ll have to take.”
I wanted to tell her she had other options, that I could make her life so much easier if she’d only let me, but I knew this wasn’t the time to push. We were just settling into this new relationship, trying to figure things out, and I’d have to be careful not to smother her, no matter how much I wanted to spend every day and night with her.
“What did you say to Jade when she called earlier?” I didn’t want to talk about the summer. I knew it would be here before we knew it, forcing us both to reevaluate everything.
“She was so busy apologizing for what happened that I couldn’t get a word in,” she said, chuckling.
“It’s not funny.” My arms tightened around her when I thought about what could have happened had I not been there to answer her call. “She should be sorry. So should the rest of your so-called friends.”
“Come on,” she said, slapping my arm. “You can’t tell me you never went to a college party and left without the guys you went with.”
It was true, parties like that got crazy and people were routinely separated for a variety of reasons, but I hated the thought of her being stranded again. And I knew she was too smart and too responsible to drink and drive… so if she had her own set of wheels it would curb her drinking.
“Hey, I have an idea,” I said, propping my head in my hand as I looked down at her. “Why don’t you take one of my vehicles?”
“What are you talking about? I can’t do that!”
“Sure, you can.” I smiled, tracing her full lips with my index finger. They were moist and swollen from my kisses, just the way I liked them. “It’s not like I can drive two trucks, a car, and a motorcycle. The Charger’s standard, so you’re left with the pick-up or the Hummer. Take your pick.”
“You’re out of your mind,” she said, pulling back to read my expression. “You can’t let someone else drive your hundred-thousand-dollar Hummer, Nex.”
That was a big vehicle, perfect for a little off-roading fun, but if you weren’t used to taking corners in it, it could be dangerous. “So take the pick-up.” I couldn’t care less about the cost of the vehicle. I was more concerned about her safety. Vehicles could be replaced. She couldn’t.
“Won’t you need it for work?”
“Nah, I usually drive the Charger or bike to work, depending on whether I have to dress up for meetings.”
She smiled, tracing her nail down my chest. “I’ve never seen you in a suit before. I bet you look hot.”
“You can see me in one this week, if you want,” I said, capturing her hand to kiss it. “I have a fundraiser to go to for work. I’d love for you to come with me.”
“And if I can’t?” she asked, shifting her eyes from mine. “Will you take someone else?”
I could tell she was trying to play it off, as though my response didn’t matter, but that question pissed me off. “Hey,” I said, turning her face toward mine, “I meant what I said earlier. I want this thing between us to be exclusive. If you’re okay with that.” I assumed she would be when she slept with me, but she hadn’t actually said the words, and now I was holding my breath, waiting to hear them.
“I’m crazy about you, obviously,” she said, tracing intricate patterns on my arm with her fingertip. “I honestly don’t know that I’ve ever felt like this before.”
That should have made me happy, but there was a definite “but” lacing her words.
“But I can’t get tied down right now. Toward the end of my relationship with Scott, there were days when I felt like I couldn’t breathe.” She looked up, her gaze colliding with mine before she looked away.
I’d experienced the occasional bout of anxiety, like when my mom died. I understood what that felt like. I felt it now. “Don’t make the mistake of comparing what you had with him to what you could have with me.” I knew he’d put a lot of pressure on her about the future. I wasn’t thinking about marriage and probably wouldn’t be ready to take that step for a long time. I just wanted to be with her, to know that she wanted the same.
“I’m not comparing.” She sighed. “But you have to understand, when you have one single point of reference with respect to relationships, it’s hard to imagine your next relationship will be any different than your last.”
Everything she said made sense, but I didn’t want to accept her reasoning. I wanted to convince her to let her heart lead her… right into my arms. “You can’t go through life being afraid of relationships because you had one bad experience, Jaci. That’s no way to live.”
“But that’s just it,” she said, seeming frustrated. “It wasn’t a bad experience, not really. Scott wasn’t a jerk. He didn’t mistreat me or make me feel bad about myself. He was good to me, for the most part, yet I still couldn’t make it work with him.”
Things were starting to make more sense to me. “So if you couldn’t make it work with a safe bet like him, there’s not a hope in hell you could make it work with someone like me, right?” Her unspoken words stung, mainly because I couldn’t deny she had every right to feel that way. I had a lousy track record with women. I’d lived a pretty wild life, giving every woman I’d ever been with reason to question me. But it was different with Jaci. She was different.
“I don’t want to offend you,” she said softly, resting her hand on my chest. “You’ve been nothing but wonderful to me. But I have to think of what’s best for me. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now. But I have to take things slow, be cautious.”
“What does that mean exactly?” I could compromise with her, mainly because she wasn’t giving me a choice. But some things were deal-breakers for me. “You’ll be seeing other guys?”
She smiled. “You really think you have to worry about that after what happened here tonight?”
At least I’d convinced her I was the only man she needed in her bed. I guessed that was something.
“I just need to keep my options open for now, let my life unfold without any expectations from anyone.”
Ugh, I hated the sound of her keeping her options open. That meant she might meet someone else, someone who appealed to her more than I did. “Is there anything I can say to change your mind?” I wasn’t used to pleading my case, especially when it came to women. But I’d spent several months pursuing this woman. Getting her into bed was only the beginning.
“This is the way it has to be for now, Nex.” She stroked my cheek, her eyes soft, as though she was feeling the same sense of confusion and turmoil I was. “We’ll see how the next few weeks go. Maybe we can keep in touch during the summer. When I come back in the fall, if you’re still interested—”
“I will be.” There was no doubt in my mind about that. My biggest source of concern was the influences she would have to de
al with back home. A lot could happen in three months, especially when she was being influenced by a man who loved her and the mother who wanted her to be with that man.
“Then let’s just wait it out before we make any decisions, okay? In the fall, if we’re both still in the same place, interested in pursuing a relationship, we can talk about it then.”
She was being careful, presenting a logical argument, and I knew I should respect her decision, but it wasn’t easy when it was diametrically opposed to everything I wanted. I was a fighter. I was used to getting what I wanted, often the hard way. Letting go of something I wanted as much as I wanted Jaci, leaving it to fate, went against everything I stood for.
“I know I’m asking a lot of you,” she said, rolling on her side to face me. “And you can tell me to get the hell out, that you never want to see me again.” She sucked in a breath. “Obviously, I’m really hoping you won’t do that, but you have every right to.”
“I might, if I could, but I can’t, so I won’t.” I forced myself to smile, hoping to ease the tension and relieve some of her anxiety. She had enough to worry about with school, work, and returning home in a few weeks. The last thing I wanted was to give her one more thing to stress about.
“Thank you,” she said, tipping her head back to kiss me. “Thank you for understanding.”
I pulled her into my arms, trying not to hold on too tightly, because that’s exactly what my instincts were telling me to do. Hold on tight and never let go.
***
I’d finally convinced Jaci to drive my truck home when she left, so at least that relieved my anxiety about her leaving the bar late at night or getting stranded somewhere. If only all of our problems could be fixed so easily.
“Hey,” Ryker said, tapping his knuckles on my door, “you got a minute?”
Nex Page 9
