by Ali Parker
Her pretty face was done up with far too much make-up, but it didn't matter. I'd have my eyes closed soon.
"Rough day, baby?" She licked at her lips and worked on my belt.
"Yeah. Horrible." I ran my fingers down the side of her face.
She turned and sucked two of my digits in her mouth as I lifted my hips and let her pull my slacks off of me. A groan left me as she moved back and gripped my cock tightly, lavishing the top of it with the wetness of her tongue.
"Take as much as you can, Jazz." I slid my hand into her hair and lifted my hips as she stroked me.
"You're a big boy, Ethan. You can't expect any woman-"
"As much as you can." I tried to keep my tone soft, but it was hardening as my need was rising. "Get started."
I pulled her down onto me as she wrapped both hands around my shaft and went to work. My head dropped back and the world faded. The only woman between my legs was the one I'd rejected moments before.
My tight grip on her hair loosened just a little, but my thrusts got faster, harder. I could hear Jazz gagging and groaning due to my size, but I couldn’t stop myself. I didn't want to be gentle or tender. I wanted to be normal.
"Come, Ethan. Come for me," she whispered, but I heard Riley's voice.
"Yeah." I licked my lips and reached down, pushing her hands away and stroking myself hard. "Put your mouth back on me."
"Anything you want." She gripped my thighs and sucked hard as I worked myself over the edge. I cried out as tears lined my eyes, my body buckling at the intensity of the orgasm.
She sat back as I continued to work myself, not worried about what she might need from me.
A knock at the door should have brought me to, but I couldn't seem to get past the wine, the pleasure, the need.
"I'll get it, baby. Stay here. Take care of yourself." She leaned down and kissed me several times before I grabbed the back of her neck and locked her into place as I licked and sucked at her soft lips.
Riley.
Another knock.
She pulled back. "One minute."
I nodded and leaned back farther, punishing myself with my tight grasp. I cried out as another orgasm hit me full force, knocking the wind out of me and stealing my sense of reason.
She moved up beside me and smiled. "You want me to fuck you now?"
"Yes. The condoms are on the bedside table. Grab a few of them." I panted loudly as my eyes moved around the room. The door. "Who was at the door?"
"No one. Guess they left?" She smiled and walked to the back of the house. She came back moments later and dropped a handful of condoms beside me. "You look good, baby. Such a fine man. You know that though, don't you?"
"Yeah. So fucking fine." My sarcasm raged through the liquor. "Who was at the door?"
I grunted as she pushed a condom over my swollen shaft and turned from me, tugging her skirt up. My fingers dug into her flesh as she moved to sit in my lap and pressed herself down on me, taking the head of my cock inside of her.
"Fuck," I growled and lifted my hips as she pressed her hands against my thighs.
"Whoa, baby. Let me take a little at a time. It’s been far too long." She leaned against me and opened her legs wide. "Touch my clit, Ethan."
"Touch your own clit." I licked at the side of her neck and lifted up, pushing more into her. "Come on, Jazz. Finish it."
She laughed and rocked against me as I drew in long, deep breaths.
"Easier said than done." She pressed her thighs together and stood up, leaning over and bobbing on the tip of my dick. "Let's just get you off a few times. You're not in the mood for a long night."
"Take more." I pulled at her, still half lost to my stupor. "Riley could take it all."
"Well, Riley isn't here, sweetheart." She pressed down more as I gripped her ass and lifted my hips, not registering the fact that she was getting pissy with me.
She stood up and turned around, giving me a look. "I said I couldn't take any more. I have to work myself up to take a guy like you, Ethan. You know that."
"Okay." I tugged the condom off and threw it at her. "Then get out. I ordered a whore, not a Girl Scout."
I let my head drop back, ignoring the tongue lashing I got as she told me all the things I already knew about myself. The door slammed a few minutes later and I picked up the bottle on the floor next to me and threw it as hard as I could. It ricocheted into a million pieces as I tugged my slacks up and stumbled to the bed.
This life sucked, and yet it was the only one I knew.
Fuck Riley.
Fuck all of them.
***
"Get up." Deza's voice wasn't nearly as annoying as her smacking me on the back of the head over and over.
"Fuck," I groaned and rolled over, cupping my hand over my face as she pulled open the curtains to let the sun in. "Get out."
"No. You get up. You and I are having a come to Jesus meeting. Now!" She pulled hard on my feet, surprising me with her strength. She half pulled me off the bed. "Get the fuck up."
"Don't curse in front of Jesus, D. It's rude." I rolled over and fell off the bed, hitting the floor hard. "I think I drank too much."
"I'd say that's true." She stepped on the back of my head with her heel, pushing a little. "I'm so fucking pissed at you right now. I swear there are very few times in our lives together that I've wanted to kill you, but now is one of them. Get up!"
"All right. Shit." I swatted her foot off of me, ready to throw her down and choke her out if she didn't let up a little. I'd been pulled from a deep sleep into a full-on bitch session mixed with assault.
She wasn't in the room when I got up, which was good. I needed a minute to blink through the haze of the night before. Had I slept with Jazz? Or was it Riley?
"Shit." I walked out into the hallway and reached for the wall as my legs almost gave out beneath me. "I need to go back to bed. Can't this wait? Is it about holding up traffic on Rodeo Drive yesterday?"
She moved into the hall with her hands on her hips. "No. This is about you being the asshole of the century. Get in here."
I nodded, unsure if I wanted to turn and get back in the bed after locking my door or run to the car and drive off. Going in the kitchen wasn't a good idea.
"I have your keys and I'm going to chop down your bedroom door with an ax if you think you're hiding behind it. Now, Ethan."
"Fine." I stormed into the kitchen and stopped short. The anger on her face was mixed with pain. "What’s wrong?"
She lifted her hand to stop me from coming toward her. "You have always had this dream to be a great actor and I have been beside you every step of the way, have I not? You're my best friend, or so you say you are."
"You're my only friend." I pressed my hands to the countertop and blinked a few times. "Deza, I'm extremely confused and have a mother fucker of a hangover. Please just get to the point.”
"You have the chance to be a great mentor to Riley Phillips. To help her live out her dreams, as you've lived out yours. What could be better? What could be more fulfilling than to help someone else? And she's so worthy of it."
I lifted my hands and took a step back. "I'm happy to help Riley. I was a good guy last night like you asked me to be. We had dinner and I sent her home without stripping her down and licking every inch of her. Why are you in here screaming at me when I did exactly what you wanted me to?"
I was yelling as I moved toward her. My heart was racing and stomach turning into liquid acid. I was going to vomit any minute.
"She's coming into the studio before lunch." Deza pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose and shook her head. "She's coming in to turn down the contract, Ethan. I just know it. I don't know what you did, but you've fucked up royally this time. Never in our history together have I seen you better matched."
"I'll get her back."
"I know you will." Deza crossed her arms over her chest. "By any means necessary."
Chapter 19
Riley
I rolled
over in my bed, and ignored the soft knock at the door.
"Riley... you okay? I thought I heard you crying last night," she whispered roughly as if trying to not wake me if I was still asleep.
I lay still and held my breath, making sure to keep my eyes closed. Tears welled up in my eyes again, and it had nothing to do with not being good enough for Ethan and everything to do with the embarrassment of rejection. I was a silly girl who thought that just because the universe opened its hand and offered me one dream that I might get access to another.
I wanted James Bond. Steve Sumner. Philip Jessing. All the men Ethan had made us believe he was. What I didn't want was to stare the real man in the face and know that he could see right through me. That he could almost smell my arousal each and every time we got close. My stomach turned at the thought.
The door closed and I turned onto my other side, letting out a soft cry in the wet cotton below me. I wanted to run from all of it. The attempted kiss had been so stupid on my part. He was interested in Trish and waiting on a date. Did I think that I was going to trump all of that? And because of a great acting session we had together?
My phone buzzed again, and I picked it up, reading over the tenth text from Deza to meet her for breakfast and talk everything through.
I couldn't. Where I was a new face to Ethan, he wasn't new to me at all. I'd fallen in love with him as a cute ten year old on the Mickey Mouse Club just like Charlotte did. This was years of worshiping someone in silence, which was unhealthy and officially over.
There was no way I could take the part. I had been unprofessional as he'd claimed a few days before. Where I hadn't moved my panties during the scene, I sure as hell made good use of them moving.
"Slut," I whispered and rolled onto my back as another sob ripped through me. I needed to call Jace. He understood me and our relationship made perfect sense to me. It was about pleasure and nothing else. It was just two good friends who took care of one another and backed off when life rolled a different way.
Ethan was off limits. A possible co-worker, or was supposed to be one.
The phone rang, and I pulled it toward me, recognizing Ethan's number. A sad smile lifted my lips, and I tossed the phone off the bed and wrapped back up in my comforter.
"I'm not interested, Mr. Lewis. Just leave a message and I'll see you soonish." I pulled my pillow over my head as the image of a sexy blond rose to life. She had answered his door after I'd gone back to tell him how I felt, how much I was into him. It took every ounce of courage and humility to turn my car around and go back to his door in the first place.
He was hurting, and I could feel it all over me. Where he was trying to be professional and courteous, he was also in need of something I could offer. But as with everything else related to him, I'd misread it.
She smiled as she opened the door and tilted her head. The memory of the moment flooded my mind, stifling me with its simplicity.
"Hey. Did you need something?" She gave me a quick smile and pulled the door close to her back.
"Oh, sorry. I had dinner with Ethan earlier and I left my dish here. I can get it tomorrow though."
The sound of him moaning loudly as if in the throes of orgasm shoved a spear of desire right through the center of me. Realization dawned on me and I couldn't ever remember feeling more rejected. More unwanted.
"That would be great." She smiled and opened the door, slipping back inside as I moved up and pressed my ear to it to hear him cry out again.
I barely made it to the bushes beside me before I emptied my stomach of everything we'd shared at dinner.
Not enough. Never enough.
***
I drove to the studio in silence, trying to decide if my dreams of being someone important were great enough to overcome the truth that I wasn't important at all. I didn’t know if I could handle that truth, much less have it shoved in my face for the next year.
After parking and sitting in the lot for a few minutes, I gathered my courage and opened the door, pulling my jacket from the backseat and wrapping it around myself. My long gray skirt danced around my legs, whipping me around as if I weighed nothing.
"Slip into character. You're a young film student with a handsome boyfriend who loves you like you can't imagine a man loving a woman. Your dreams are finally coming true, and you've been offered the starring role in the biggest movie of the year. You're not passing this up. Just hold your head high and make them believe that you're okay. That you're strong. Sexy. Sassy as fuck." I forced myself into the part though tears burned my gaze.
Deza moved up beside me and smiled. "Hey you. I sure am praying that you've changed your mind, or maybe I’m reading too much into all of this."
I readjusted the sunglasses on my face and gave Deza a big smile. "Hey. Thanks for being so patient with me."
"Of course." She reached over and stopped me, turning me to face her. "You never told me what happened. I texted ten times. I almost feel like a stalker."
"I know, forgive me. I'm not a very open person." I smirked. "Just comes with the territory, right?"
"Riley." Ethan moved up beside me and touched my arm. "Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"
"You bet." I turned and nodded toward the picnic bench by the snack table. "You wanna grab a Twinkie? It’s the breakfast of champs."
Deza let out a strained laugh and pointed to a hallway. "I'll be in here with Frank and the movie producers. You guys join us when you're ready."
"Will do." I turned and walked toward the table as I swallowed the torrent of emotions raging through me. If I could just get the sound of him moaning out of my head. That and the desire to be the one making him moan like that. Who was she? Did she matter, or was she his Jace?
"Riley." He gripped my arm softly. "Whatever I did to upset you, I didn't mean to, honestly."
"What?" I turned toward him and pulled my sunglasses off, having finally gained control of myself. "You didn't do anything. You were great last night. You answered all of my questions and kept everything perfectly professional. It was a test of your character, and you passed it beautifully."
"It was what?" He lifted his eyebrow as something like hurt brushed across his gaze.
"I thought maybe you figured me to be like the other women in your life. You know, show up, open my legs for you and then you take complete advantage of me and we start this odd power struggle, but when I tested you with the kiss, you denied me." I laughed warmly. "I'm honestly thrilled to know that we can be co-workers, maybe even friends, but that you understand that that's all we'll ever be."
"You tested me last night?" He turned to the snack table and grabbed a bag of peanut M&Ms. "Why didn't you just lay down the law? You didn't need to see if I was a sleaze bag."
"Sure I did." I picked up a Twinkie and licked at the end of it as he turned to face me. "I read about all the women you've taken advantage of. Not that I believe all of it, but some of them knew rather intimate things about you. I just wanted to ensure that I was getting this opportunity as a good actress and not someone you thought would prove to be a convenient fuck buddy while you were away from Trish."
"Trish?" He was either insanely confused or playing it off well.
I patted his chest and walked toward the room. "Come on, let's go sign this contract so I can start living my life. A million men willing to do anything to please me. I can't imagine the power." I stopped and turned back as he stopped and slipped his hands in his pockets, his face having lost color.
His voice was nothing more than a whisper, and where victory should have been mine, it wasn't. Devastation at playing the game to the point of hurting him drove through me.
"It's a fun ride. Congratulations on getting the golden ticket. I'll protect you the whole time we're flying through it together. You'll protect me too, right, Riley?"
"Of course." I turned and slipped on my sunglasses, taking a detour to the restroom to empty my stomach and decide what mattered most in life.
Fame or commonality?<
br />
Lust or love?
The bright lights of Hollywood or saving myself from possibly the greatest heartache I might ever encounter?
I wiped my mouth and stared at myself in the mirror as worry, disgust and self-hate ripped through me. I was a good person. Not the type that would play games with another's heart. Ethan was the game player... right?
"Hey, you coming?" Deza stuck her head in the bathroom and gave me a warm smile. "You've changed your mind, right?"
"Yeah... I'm coming." I walked numbly behind her, turning to look for Ethan and finding him nowhere. How had we gone from something insanely passionate to awkward coldness?
It was the difference between fantasy and reality.
A group of white-haired men glanced up and stood as I walked into the room.
Frank walked around and gave me a big hug, smiling brightly.
"So proud of you, kiddo." He introduced me to the others in the room, but I didn't catch anyone's name. I needed to know where Ethan was. To apologize for being so crass with his feelings.
I'd tested him? What the fuck was that?
Protection.
"Here we are, Riley. You just need to sign on the dotted line and we'll start filming in two weeks." Frank touched the small of my back as I leaned over and let out a shaky breath.
I glanced toward the door as my eyes met Ethan's. He nodded and gave me a curt smile.
I had to right this even though it was silly to want to. We were nothing and yet something told me that we could be everything to one another one day. Charlotte was right. I had to find a way to keep him close enough to me to have the chance to truly seduce him, or maybe just gently love him from a distance. As a friend, a co-worker, a lover.
I signed the paper and handed it to Frank as the people in the room clapped and Deza moved in to hug me. "This will prove to be the best decision you've ever made."
"Yes it is, kiddo." Frank reached out and squeezed my hand. "Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. Welcome to the bright lights of Hollywood."
