by Ali Parker
"Holy hell! I want one. Tell him that I'll be your understudy for the friends with benefits thing. I'm not you, but I can pretend to be!"
I rolled my eyes and settled back into the couch as the clock struck midnight. My phone dinged and Charlotte tossed it to me with a smile on her face.
"Tell me it's him."
"It's not. He never calls or texts. It's probably Jace." I glanced down to see that it was Ethan. My heart leapt into my throat, but I played it off. "Yep. Jace. I'm going to the bathroom. Be right back."
"All right, but don't leave me hanging. I gotta live through someone."
"Let's pray it isn't me." I walked down the hall and stopped beside the bathroom as I unlocked my phone to see what the man of my wet dreams wanted.
Ethan: Hey baby. I can't stop thinking about you. I keep thinking if I close my eyes with these other bitches that magic will happen. Like freaky Friday shit. I open my eyes and bam! Bamb! Bumb! How the fuck do you spell Bam? Anyway... I want you. Come over tonight and let’s pick up where we left off. You naked and wet, me hard as fuck. We could spend the night fighting for control and tearing up my sheets. Come over here. You know you wanna, Ri.
"Ri?" I read the message two or three more times and realized what it was. Drunk texts. It was almost too funny not to reply to, but I forced myself to slip the phone in my pocket and head back out to Charlotte. Poor Ethan Lewis. Letting his true feelings out while he's totally wasted.
It felt good to hear him say it, even though there was little we could do about it.
He wanted me. He wanted me. He so totally wanted me.
Chapter 12
Ethan
I woke up feeling like someone had used my head for a punching bag the night before. My face hurt and my skull throbbed as colors flashed in front of my eyes.
"Fuck," I groaned and rolled over, not sure where I was. It wasn't home. "Where am I?"
"Get up, pretty boy. I just made us some bacon and toast. I'm gonna eat your half if you don't come the fuck on. You know how much I love bacon." Liam's voice was an automatic comfort.
"What happened?" I forced myself to sit up slowly as the room spun.
"I'm gonna say you either drank a whole fucking lot while I wasn't watching, or you were drugged. I found your ass naked in a broom closet and the girls split." He pressed his hands to the doorframe and tilted his head. "You fucked that girl bareback?"
"What? No. Hell no." I got up and turned to press my hands back to the top of the bed. "Fuck, I feel like death."
"Right, well, I'm gonna warn you now, I'm pretty sure that girl fucked you while you were drugged up. There was... um... evidence of it everywhere."
I glanced back at him. "What? No one saw that shit but you, right?"
"Right, unless the bitch took selfies with you."
"This is your damn fault." I stood up and walked toward him aggressively.
"Chill your nuts. I didn't force you into a broom closet, and since when do you drink anything that doesn't come in a fucking bottle that you watch get opened? You know how women are? You're the most famous guy in Hollywood. Shit, bro."
I stopped in front of him as anger burned through me. "I gotta call Deza."
"No need. She's on her way over here now. She blew up your phone this morning."
"Seriously?" Terror raced through the center of my chest as I walked quickly to the bathroom. I slammed the door behind me and hit my knees, losing the contents of my stomach and hating myself. There was a reason I didn't go out to clubs or anywhere public where liquor was involved. I wasn't very good at holding my own. I'd reasoned the night before that having Liam there would make it all okay. I forgot what a torrential fuck up he was on purpose.
"Get out here right now!" Deza's voice was loud and sharp.
"All right, but stop yelling. I feel like my fucking head is going to explode."
"I swear to God, I'm going to kill you Ethan Lewis."
"Yeah, yeah." I opened the door and let my eyes run down her body. "You look hot."
She slapped me, causing me to step back in shock. She was rarely violent with me, but by the look on her face, the shit was bad. Really bad.
"Stop talking and get in here. We have to figure out what to do about you and your stupidity before Frank calls me. Eon is fine with you being a billionaire playboy and acting like shit, but getting drunk in a popular club and swinging your dick all over the place? No! Just no! I hate you sometimes." She turned and walked to the kitchen.
I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to think past the part of the night where I followed Dara or Sarah or Kara back to the back room. Nothing would register after that.
"I showed my cock to the club?" I walked into the kitchen and stopped short as Deza turned on the news. They were having a field day with me and Liam dry humping some slutty girl on the dance floor. The title of the breaking news was, "The boy we once knew and loved... corrupted by fame."
Liam snorted and handed me a plate of food as Deza whipped around and pinned him with a look that had to leave his balls running up to hide inside of him.
"Sorry." My brother lifted his hands in surrender as I moved up beside Deza and ate a piece of bacon.
"I thought you said you got me out of there after the closet shit." I didn't glance over at her as she turned to face me.
"Closet shit?" she growled.
Liam moved up on the other side of me and grabbed one of my two pieces of toast. "Nope. I just said I saved you from that shit and got you dressed again."
"Dressed again!" Deza shouted at the two of us.
"I was drugged, all right?" I snagged the piece of toast from Liam before turning to face her. "I went out to have a good time with my brother, and he brought two chicks. I was trying to find other people to be interested in seeing that you've cock-blocked me from the one girl that leaves me hard and happy as fuck. I did what you asked me to do."
"This is not what I asked you to do!" Her hand was shaking as she pointed a finger at me and poked me in the chest. "You're going to ruin your career like every other idiot in Hollywood has."
"And you care because it ruins your career," I barked back at her and shoved more food in my mouth.
Her expression softened as tears filled her eyes. "Fuck you too, Ethan."
"D." I walked after her as she turned and marched back toward the front door. "Come on, Deza. I took a punch for you. You know I love you."
"That's not what's being questioned here." She opened the door and glanced over her shoulder. "You think I put up with you and your bullshit because I need you to keep my career running? Try again."
I wasn't sure what to say, but didn't have time to react anyway. She slammed the door in my face and left. I needed to go after her, but my head was throbbing and my stomach sick as hell.
"Come on, dude. You can explain yourself later to her. So the fuck what if we went out to have a little bit of fun? No one got pictures of you in the closet. I'm sure of it." He gripped my shoulders and squeezed. "You'll make up with Deza. You always do."
"Where did you find those girls, dude?" I pulled away from him and walked toward the kitchen. "A nunnery?"
He snorted. "They were pretty horny, right?"
"Too horny." I sat down at the table, a little weirded out that I would find anyone a little too horny. I lived in that state most of the time. Or maybe I just thought I did.
"You get the girls next time, all right? I got the hookup from a friend of a friend. In a normal situation they would have been perfect."
"Right, so next time, let's just come over here and not try to go out in public like normal people. You're stupid rich, and I'm famous. This stuff never works well for us." I finished my breakfast and handed him my plate. "What am I going to tell Deza? Or Frank? Hell, Frank might actually understand a little. He's a guy. He gets how old it is to sit around and pretend to live all the damn time."
My phone buzzed and I picked it up to see Deza calling.
"Hey. You know I'm sorry.
I love you with all of my heart. You're the only woman in my life," I blurted out my feelings as fast as I could before she hung up on me.
"I love you too, but I hate you more right now. I need you to be at Eon studio six on Monday morning for a few hours. We need you to make a quick cameo in Tricia's film. The lines are quick and easy. I left them in Liam's living room for you. Don't call me today. I need to have a drama-free day without you, or Darren, or anyone's shit."
"You just going to stay inside all damn day? Everyone has drama, D."
"No, I'm having breakfast with Riley, the only person I know who has real troubles in life. I'm hoping it will calm me down and remind me why I do this shit every day."
"Everything all right with her?" My heart skipped a beat.
"Yeah. She's wanting a coach, so I'm presenting a few to her this morning. None of your concern."
"A female coach, right?" Aggression raced through me. Why was it okay for Jace to bone my girl, but the thought of any other man stepping into the picture left me hot headed and ready to fuck someone up?
Because she didn't love Jace. Simple enough. Sex was sex and he'd been her toy for a long ass time. They would come to an end soon too, but for now, Jace was acceptable. No one else.
What is wrong with you? Fucking bi-polar ass.
"No, Clayton Welms."
"What? Come on, D. You know I can't stand Clayton. He shouldn't even be a coach. He's a total prick!"
"You hate him because you used to be close to him, Ethan. He's a great coach and he made you a better actor. You need to stop looking at him as competition. He's not interested in stealing anything from you."
"Right, but that's because the fucker already marked that off his bucket list," I barked at her.
"Are you yelling at me? After what happened this morning?" Her voice was hardening again. I could deal with the Clayton Welms issue through Frank or even Riley if I had to. Upsetting Deza again in a matter of a few minutes was hazardous to my health. Time to suck up. Dammit.
"All right, well, I'm here if you need me. I'm sorry about getting hot over Clayton. It's your business and not mine. Be sweet to me and forget about him though. If you do, I'll let you pet the monster later tonight. Sounds fun, right?"
"Fuck you too, Ethan Lewis."
I was grateful to hear the smile in her last response before she hung up on me.
"She still hate you?" Liam handed me a glass of orange juice.
"Yep." I glanced down at my texts and realized Riley's name was near the top. "Oh no."
I read through it and let out a long sigh.
"Let me see." Liam grabbed my phone and read the drunk text out loud. "Oh fuck. This is better than that time you called up our cousin, Sicily, and proposed to her."
He was laughing so hard he was crying. I grabbed the phone from him and couldn't help but smile. No one else needed to fuck up my life for me.
I was going to make sure I did that all by myself.
Chapter 13
Riley
I'd fallen asleep the night before and Jace hadn't come over, which left me feeling calm and yet a bit lonely. It wasn't fair to use him, but that had been the foundation of our relationship over the last few years. Nothing was going to change that but me, and I wasn't ready. Jace might think he wanted love and a steady relationship, but we'd tried that a few times in our sordid past only to end up mad at each other and hurting even more when the dust settled.
I dragged myself out of bed and started the shower as the smell of cinnamon rolls filled my nose. Charlotte had to be baking, which meant her date the night before hadn't gone well at all. I hadn't even asked when she walked into the house. How shitty of me.
I walked out of the bathroom with a towel around me and stopped at the opening to the kitchen.
"You all right?"
She glanced over her shoulder and nodded. "Yeah, just trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I can't seem to attract anyone but these pussified idiots I keep dating."
"I should have asked last night." I moved toward her as she turned. She let out a sad sigh as I hugged her tightly. "What was wrong with this one?"
"I really feel like an idiot talking to you about issues when you just lost your mom, Riley. It's trivial and stupid."
"No it isn't. It's your life, and I'm your best friend. What was wrong with this one?"
"He was so nervous that he stuttered the whole time. I've got nothing against someone having a speech impediment, but his wasn't due to anything but him being freaked out."
"You're dating down. You gotta stop that shit."
"The worst part?" She moved back and pressed her hands to her face. "I kept trying to figure out if I could sleep with him. Like if I just closed my eyes or if-"
"Stop it." I gripped her shoulders and shook her softly as I smiled. "I'll talk to Jace. He has to know someone. You need a guy like him for a fuck-buddy if nothing else. You're way hotter than me. If I can get Jace Dillon, you can totally get someone better than him."
"I am not. You're classically beautiful. I'm... I don't know. I'm me."
I moved around her and opened the oven. "God those look insanely good. I almost like it when you're emotionally messed up. It means more sugary goodness around here."
She laughed. "Get out of here. They'll be done when you get out of the shower."
"It's going to get better. Just promise me that you'll stop dating the first idiot that asks you out."
"I asked him out." She dropped her head. "Shame. I know. I just thought he was cute, and he is, but he's a total girl."
I chuckled and walked out of the kitchen, calling behind me, "Let's work on finding you a man?"
"Please? I'm desperate. I think. Maybe not."
The sound of her debating herself followed me into the bathroom. I stripped down and got into the warm water, letting it pour over me as I hummed an Adele song and let my pretenses down. It felt good to relax, to slump and forget that anyone was watching.
I had so many things racing through my mind, pounding against my heart, threatening change and growth all at once. In the wake of my mother dying, I knew one thing. I was tired of letting life live me. I wanted to live it for the first time ever. Uninhibited.
"Ri?" The sound of Jace's voice surprised me.
I stuck my head out of the shower and smiled. "What are you doing here?"
"I picked up an extra shift when you didn't call. I figured I might as well busy myself doing something." He kicked off his shoes. "Is there room in there for an old friend?"
"Yeah. I think so." I gripped the curtain tightly and watched him undress. He was beautiful in his own way, and where I desperately wanted to love him... I didn't. Not in the way he would want me to, in the way I needed to love someone.
I moved back as he got into the shower and reached for me, pulling me flush against him.
"You look fucking hot."
"I'm wet. You always like wet things." I turned us and moved back as he stepped under the spray. Any woman would have tripped over herself to see Jace Dillon naked and hard as a rock for her, and some of that excitement ran through me.
"Stop looking and come over here and touch me." He smiled before closing his eyes and groaning.
"Yes, Sir." I grabbed the soap and rubbed it in my hands until there was a thick lather. "Jace, what if I just needed us to be friends? Would that be enough?"
"Yeah. Absolutely." He reached out and cupped the side of my face as I ran my hands over his chest and down his thick arms. The beautiful swell of his muscle left my stomach tightening, my nipples budding.
"Can we remain close friends until you find what you're looking for?" His blue eyes moved across my face. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but I didn't dare ask.
"Yeah. I'd like that." I pressed my nails into the flesh of his tight abs before stroking him a few times. He was beautiful and deserved a whole lot more than I was ever going to be able to give him.
"And while you're looking, consider me?" He kissed m
e softly at first, but it quickly turned into a hot probing kiss that left us both breathless. "Get outta here before I fuck you against the wall."
"What if I want you to?" I pressed my fingers into his chest and lifted to my toes.
"When you can say it and mean it... it'll happen." He nipped at my lips, growled and turned his back to me. "Save me a cinnamon roll, hm?"
"Of course." I stood behind him for a minute as indecision tore me apart. I wanted him pressed to me, to feel him opening the most private parts of me in hopes of experiencing pleasure. I almost needed it.
I stepped out of the shower and took a shallow breath as my heart broke in my chest. Were we over? No. I couldn't imagine that. Not after ten years of being together, of taking care of each other. Surely not.
He started to sing and my heart contracted again.
I had some hard decisions to make, but I needed to make them soon. I couldn't string him along in my search for love. Jace deserved better, and I did too.
Ethan might or might not be the man for me, but I needed to know for sure. I owed it to everyone involved.
Especially me.
***
I drove to Bella's in silence as my thoughts danced around my head. Why had Ethan drunk texted me the night before? It was almost funny, but who had he been with? Where had he been?
My phone buzzed in the seat next to me as I pulled up to the diner and I was surprised to see it was Char. I'd just left there.
"What's up?" I parked the car, but left it running.
"I just watched the news and it was all about Ethan and his brother, Liam? I think that was his name. Anyway, they were at some club last night and..." She snorted and laughed. "They were wild. Let's just say the media is having a field day with it."
"Oh no. You didn't see him naked or anything, right?"
"No. Just dancing... very sexually with a few girls. I just wanted you to hear it from me first."
"All right. Thanks." I dropped the call and walked toward the restaurant. I could see Deza sitting toward the back of the place. The look on her face worried me. Sadness. Deep sadness. Over Ethan?
