by Ali Parker
"Hey. What did I miss." Frank sat down and gave me a fatherly look. "Hey. You okay?"
"No." I pressed my fingers to my lips to keep them from quivering. "I just want to run away. As fast as I can for as far as I can go."
"I get that." Deza sat back down and ran her hands down her face before reaching out and taking my hands in hers. "Look at me."
"I'm still so angry." I forced myself to look at her. She hadn't kissed Ethan out of malice or love. She'd done it to make Darren jealous. I believed her. I'd seen the way he affected her, heard some of the sob stories and understood. Love sucked completely, and Deza was trapped in her own form of hell because the man she loved wasn't hers anymore.
"I know you are, and if you never forgive me, I deserve that, but hear me clearly." A tear rolled down her pretty cheek. "I didn't kiss Ethan because of any other reason than to make Darren jealous. It was stupid and selfish, and honestly... gross."
I snorted as Frank belted out a quick laugh. "Liar."
"No." She shook her head. "He was tense, and his lips were pursed. He was completely uncomfortable, and I know why now."
"Why?" I whispered and tried to let the animosity in me fade. I didn't need the dark emotions that had flooded my soul and torn me apart over the last week. I wasn't that girl. No matter how badly I should have been. Life had been unfair, but the soft whisper of truth in my head said that everyone's life was at times. This too shall pass.
"Because he doesn't want to kiss anyone, but you." She squeezed my hands. "It's going to be really interesting once you guys fix this between you and the movie is over. I highly doubt he's going to want to star across from anyone else if there is a lovemaking scene or a kiss."
I stiffened at the thought.
Frank jumped in as Deza released my hands. "Hey, kiddo. We're leaving for San Diego in a few minutes. I'd really love for you to come with us and just see if you can muster up the will to wrap this thing up. I know there's a ton going on between you and Ethan, but let it fuel your finale. You deserve all the best things in life, and whether that's our boy or not, it's still fame. You're a fantastic actress, and you have a lot of living ahead of you, but you have a lot of films yet to come. Let's not throw away this gift you have. Hmm? Can you at least come down and try it out? If we get there and you're one hundred percent sure that you're out, we'll go back to Eon and fight for you." He nodded toward Deza. "We both will."
Deza shook her head in agreement. "And I'm going to add one more thing to Frank's request."
"Deza." He reached out and touched Deza's arm, shaking his head 'no.'
"Give Ethan a chance to explain himself." Her eyes filled with tears again. "The thing that happened during the rain storm wasn't fair. He's a good man and has lived a really hard life. Love has never come easily to him, and yet to see him in love for the first time leaves me breathless. It's better than the best film I've ever seen. It's real life. It's breathtaking."
"I'll come to San Diego." I took a shaky breath. "That's as far as I'm willing to promise."
"And me and you?" Deza asked, and I had to love her for being ballsy enough not to leave things undone, unfinished.
"We're good. I think." I picked up the menu and tucked away my worries. She hadn't attacked me, but one thing was for sure... Clayton had attacked Ethan, and I'd helped him do it.
Chapter 5
Ethan
Liam turned and smiled as we stood at the edge of the water in San Diego. The ride down had been good for me, and my brother knew me well enough to keep his trap shut. I'd rolled the windows down and let the sun chase away the black shadow crawling across my life.
"See? You feel better, don't you?" He reached out and squeezed my shoulder.
"Yeah. I do." I glanced out at the ocean as white tipped waves crashed into the shoreline. I wanted Riley with me. Standing in front of me. My arms around her shoulder, her soft ass pressed against me as her hair blew in my face. What I wouldn’t give for a do-over.
"And you know what would make you feel even better?" He smiled and lifted his hands, waving at someone. "Pussy."
"Oh shit." I glanced down the way to see two girls in bikinis so small that they shouldn't have spent the money to buy them. Scraps of cloth that most likely cost them a couple hundred dollars each. "Dude. No. I'm not in the-"
"Come on over." He moved around me. "Shut the fuck up and follow my lead."
"Suck my nuts." I turned back out to the water and took a step in, leaning down to pick up a shell I thought Riley might like. I prayed in the back of my mind that she would show up for filming so that I could at least try and salvage a friendship with her.
If I could get her past the hurt of what happened with Deza, and remind her that I was not at fault for that shit, then maybe she would let me back in. We'd been so good together. Outside of the delicious lust, she was my equal, my exact match in life.
A laugh bubbled up in the center of my chest as another memory slapped into me.
I leaned down and brushed my lips by hers. "Why haven't we slept together?"
"Because I'm hoping to remain a good girl."
I laughed. "Baby, that train has long since left the station. You're just playing a part now. The real you is the one who wants a long night of passion. Where is that girl?"
"How about a night of chick flicks and popcorn instead?" She teased me, though I loved the idea of doing both. It was almost comical that she knew exactly how to get me going.
"And then sex?" I leaned down and kissed the side of her face, loving her more than I should have so early in the game. "You like it in the ass, right?"
"Ethan!" She popped my chest, and I laughed loudly. She was almost too easy to goad.
"What? I figured the bad girl in there would enjoy the question."
"Now I know where you get it from. Your brother has no filter either."
"Explain." Aggression raced through me. What the fuck had Liam said to her? I knew better than to leave her fine self over at my brother's place. He was an unrelenting whore on a good day. No matter who was around.
She gave me a quirky smile like she knew something I didn't. "Nope. I'm not telling you about Liam or whether I like it in the ass."
I pulled her close and tucked my face against her hair. "Those two subjects better not have a damn thing to do with each other."
"As if."
"Ethan. This is Mary and Charlotte. Say hi." He wrapped his arms around the girls’ shoulders as if showing them off.
"Hi." I stood and looked him in the face. "I said no. I meant it." Turning, I walked back up toward the hotel, ignoring him hollering for me to stop being a dick.
He had no clue what love looked like, but I couldn't help hoping that some woman would whoop his stupid ass into shape eventually.
"Flowers, Sir?" A pretty dark-skinned girl stood by the back entrance to the hotel, her flower stand filled with various colors and smelling like heaven.
Was Riley coming? I wasn't sure, but I wanted to be prepared just in case. Did she like flowers?
"Yeah. Sure." I pulled out my wallet and glanced around before turning my attention back to the girl. "So, I need something that says I'm sorry for being an idiot male."
She laughed. "How about white roses with one red one? It's almost like asking for friendship, but the red one gives off the vibe of offering your heart in the process."
"Oh, I like that." I handed her a hundred and waved her off as I took the flowers. "Keep the change."
"No way. This is way-"
"Please?" I lifted them to my face and breathed in deeply. "You've been really helpful. Let me do something nice to feel better about myself, hm?"
Her smile was warm, welcoming. "Okay. Thank you, and good luck with your love."
"Thanks." I winked at her and walked into the hotel, mumbling the rest under my breath. "I'm going to need a whole lot more than luck."
Like a tranquilizer and a love potion. I chuckled, feeling a little bit more alive than I had lately. Seeing Riley
was all I could think about, even though the chance of her coming were slim. I could still hope. Hell, hope was all I could do.
"Deza." I walked toward her and Frank as they stood in the lobby, Frank talking with one of the bellhops. "Any luck?"
"Yes." She let out a sigh and reached up to pat my chest. "I got her here. The rest is up to you, but don't fuck anything up related to the film. Please. Our asses are all on the line with Eon already. Just go slow and back off if she wants you to. Got it?"
"Of course." I extended my hand to Frank as he turned to greet me. "Hey."
"Hey, buddy." He pulled me into a fatherly hug. "You doing okay? You had us all pretty worried this time."
"I'm alright. For now, at least." I glanced around. "Where is she?"
"In her room. Are those flowers for her?" Frank asked, his lips lifting in a smile.
"Yeah. I'm sure it's too much, but I'm going for broke on this one." I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair. "Do I look alright?"
"You look like you. Good job." Frank walked around me, snorting at his own joke.
"Thanks, man." I rolled my eyes and turned back to Deza.
She reached up and brushed her fingers through my hair. "You look windblown."
"Does she hate me?" My stomach tightened at the thought, and I felt all of ten years old again. Needy and wishing someone cared enough about me to show up for one of my rehearsals or God forbid, a movie premier. My folks were too busy, and Liam was too young to get himself there.
"I don't think so, but you got a long road ahead of you, Ethan. She's got a lot of pent-up hurts in her life, and I think she's adding you to that list." Deza backed up and slipped her hands into the pockets of her dress. "And I know I've said it a million times, but I'm sorry."
"It's okay." I glanced around, checking for Riley again. "Just help me fix the parts that you can. I'll try my best to do the rest, and if it doesn't work, then that's on me." I shrugged as if it didn't mean anything to lose out on possibly the best thing that had ever happened to me in my life.
"Don't do that." She reached out and gripped my wrist, pulling my attention back toward her.
"Do what?" I asked, confused.
"Act like you don't care, like her walking away doesn't matter. You gotta let that guard down and let her see your heart. Otherwise, you are going to lose her. It's where we all go wrong." She released me. "We're all trying so damn hard to protect ourselves, and in the process, we push everyone away with our callous responses. Don't do that. Open up this time and be prepared for whatever comes your way."
"Alright." I offered her a smile. "Wish me luck."
"Assume this isn't going to go well." She tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips.
"Thank you, kindly for sucking the wind from my sails, the come from my nuts, the- wait. That doesn't work. Sucking the come from my-"
"Hey! Shut it and go get the girl. For fuck's sake."
"I love it when you say fuck. You should do it more often." I wagged my eyebrows and turned, walking toward the elevator. "Ten-twenty-four?"
"Yes. Stop yelling it out, and good luck."
"You said that already." I pressed the button and ignored the stares from three middle-aged women beside me. A chant raged in my head, which seemed childish, and yet, if I could just remember it, things might work out.
Just be yourself. Just be yourself. Just be...
The door opened, and I got into the elevator, pressing the button for the tenth floor.
"Are you-" One of the woman glanced over at me.
"Yeah." I nodded. "How are you today?"
"We're great. Tell us what the name of your new co-star is again? She's just stunning."
"Like Marilyn Monroe," the third one piped in. "So beautiful."
"Riley Phillips, and yes, she is a knock-out. Even more so in person." I smiled as the door opened to my floor. "Well, this is me. You ladies have a great day."
"Thanks! Tell Riley we love her."
I smiled and walked down the hall as warmth filled my chest. Riley would be a star with or without me, and I realized that whether we made it to the top in the eyes of America wasn't a concern to me anymore. It was whether we made it together.
I reached up to knock on the door as terror raced through me. Closing my eyes, I let my chin touch my chest and breathed out slowly. "You got this. You're the award-winning Ethan Lewis. The crowd goes wild for you. They think you're-" I paused and glanced up, not giving two shits about any of that. "This is the woman you love. Fix it."
Lifting my hand, I knocked without hesitation and moved back. I needed to prepare for the worst.
Riley opened the door and stiffened. Her short strawberry blond hair was in cute little curls, her yellow dress and white sandals enough to make me cream my pants. Innocence sat on her like a well-worn coat, and yet I knew what lay beneath it. Hunger that couldn't be matched.
"Riley." I extended the flowers toward her. "I just-"
"I'm not interested." She pushed the flowers back toward me, not angrily, but nevertheless. It hurt.
"I understand. Thank you for coming to finish the film."
"Yep." She moved back and started to close the door.
"So the white ones are for friendship and the red-"
"I don't care, Ethan. Give them to someone else." She pushed the door a little farther, and I reached out, pressing my hand to it.
"Please don't do this. I promise I won't bother you after this, but please talk to me."
"No." She put her shoulder against the door and pushed, forcing me back a little, though I kept my hold on the door. "If I didn't have a contract, I wouldn't be here. Period."
"Riley." I pushed back as softly as I could and thought about sticking my foot in the doorway, but knew Frank would flip his shit if I broke the damn thing. "I wasn't dicking around in that rain scene. I really do-"
"Stop!" She jerked the door open, her eyes filled with anger. "I'm not doing this with you. My heart can't handle another blow. I want to wrap up the movie and get the fuck outta here."
"Alright. I'm sorry." I lifted my hands as tears filled her eyes. "Forget I stopped by."
"Done!" She slammed the door and my heart sunk.
I knelt and left the flowers in front of her door, plucking out the red one and twirling it between my fingers as I walked back down the hall.
Deza had gotten my beautiful co-star to come back to the set, and I'd almost caused her to leave again. If things were going to work out between us, I had to back off and take it painfully show.
It was something I wasn't good at in the slightest.
Having patience.
Chapter 6
Riley
I'd been way too harsh in my response to him bringing me flowers. I was shaking as I slammed the door and locked it, my emotions all over the place.
"Chill out. Shit." I walked to the floor to ceiling windows at the far part of my hotel room and pulled the curtains over. Liam was below, standing near the water with two hot girls and laughing from what I could tell. "Must be nice. To be alive and free."
My eyes moved down to see Ethan walk out of the hotel and toward his brother. Shit. Was he going to take one of the women for himself?
The fact that I cared spoke volumes.
He'd come to apologize, and I had shoved him away?
"Why?" I whispered and sunk down on a chair next to the window, watching the scene below as horror raced through my chest. He was going to break my heart again, wasn't he?
Deza's words from early that morning echoed through my head. Give him a chance. He's a good man. Love's never come easily to him.
My pulse spiked as he neared Liam and turned, flipping his middle finger in the air and walking toward the other end of the beach. The red rose in his free hand caused my heart to skip a beat. Had he left the rest of them?
I got up and half-jogged to the door, feeling a little too vulnerable already. Fight or flight kicked in, but I forced myself to chill the fuck out.
Why was I fighting against him? I was originally upset because of him kissing Deza, but just before that, things were great between us. We got along so damn well, laughing together and teasing one another. He'd been open with me about the drama in his life and even about the woman who was claiming to have his baby.
He had included me in all of the things most men would have shut me out of. I put the flowers in my ice bucket and filled it with water before walking back to the window in search of him.
"There you are," I whispered as emotions beat against my insides.
He reared back and pitched the red rose into the water, the symbolism not lost on me. He was done with love, which meant that he was trying one last time as he stood at my door a moment before.
Indecision tore through me, but I knew what I had to do.
I had to try again. I had to let him back in, even though I was scared to death.
He was too. That's what love was all about.
***
We were given the day off to wander the beach with a quick group text from Frank that we would all be attending a stretching class the next morning.
I'd been laying in my room all day, fighting with myself about going after Ethan. I didn't have to make a quick decision, and I wasn't going to.
My stomach growled, and I got up off the bed and grabbed my purse. Time to get something to eat. If fate wanted me to talk with Ethan, then he would be where I was.
If not, then I'd make time to talk to him tomorrow. Either way, I was going to take our reconciliation slow.
After making my way downstairs, I walked out to a small hot dog stand on the side of the hotel and got in line. The sound of Ethan's voice, a few people in front of me, caused my heart to skip a beat.
"Three please."
"Three? For a thin guy like you?" The vendor teased him.
"One is for me, and two are for the girl I'm dating. She likes weenies. A lot."
