These scars were exactly what had led him to where he was supposed to be―with Leah and Jackson. And more than that, walking with his Savior.
Thank you for your scars too, Lord. The scars that you willingly endured to save us when we were helpless to save ourselves.
Austin drove and prayed through the night, stopping only twice to stretch his legs. By the time the sun was peeking over Lake Michigan, he was pulling into Hope Springs. A fresh layer of snow had fallen overnight, giving the town the perfect Christmas atmosphere.
He wanted nothing more than to go straight to Leah’s house and fold her into his arms. But there was something he had to do first.
He pulled into the church parking lot and stopped in one of the spots near Dan’s house. Since it was Christmas morning, the preacher was likely already awake and preparing for services. But Austin didn’t want to wake his family. So he sent a quick text.
Got any wrapping paper?
The immediate yes from Dan set off a grin he couldn’t hold back.
Chapter 43
“It’s not much, sorry.” Christmas morning, Jackson passed her a card and a box it looked like he’d wrapped himself. She’d wanted to wait until after church to open gifts, but he seemed so eager to give her hers that she hadn’t been able to say no.
She slid her finger under the flap of the envelope and pulled out a Christmas-tree shaped card. When she opened it, speakers inside started playing “O Christmas Tree,” and she had to laugh.
But her laughter died as her eyes fell on the words Jackson had written:
Dear Mom,
Thank you for not giving up on me. I know I haven’t made it easy.
Merry Christmas,
Jackson
She tried to blink back the tears but failed. “Thank you, Jackson.”
The boy looked at the floor, a slight pink tinging his cheeks, and she couldn’t resist pulling him into a hug.
He didn’t exactly return the hug, but he didn’t squirm away either.
After a few seconds, Leah released him and swiped at her eyes, then carefully unwrapped the box he’d given her.
“Austin helped me pick it out,” Jackson mumbled as she opened the lid, and she nodded, trying not to let the name affect her.
A small laugh escaped as she lifted a pair of oven mitts out of the box. They were almost the same as her old ones―red and white checked―but had none of the worn patches.
“We thought you could hang up your dad’s. So they wouldn’t get more wrecked.”
She hugged them to her. “I love them. Thank you.”
Jackson’s face grew pinker.
“How about you open one of your presents now?” Leah stood and moved to the tree, rummaging through the gifts she’d stacked there to find the perfect one to give him first.
“Uh, Le― Mom?” Jackson stumbled over the word, but it was still the most beautiful sound Leah had ever heard. She buried her head deeper under the tree. If he saw how emotional she got every time he called her that, he’d stop.
“Mom.” Jackson’s voice was more urgent now, and Leah stopped digging to look at him.
“What’s up?”
But he was staring out the window. “Austin’s here.”
“What are you talking about?” Leah’s mouth went dry, even as she knew he had to be mistaken. Austin was in Georgia by now.
She jumped as the doorbell rang, but Jackson was already running to answer it.
Leah’s hands shook as she straightened, and she smoothed down her rumpled flannel pajamas.
The door blocked her view at first. All she saw was a hand reaching out to pull Jackson toward him.
But it was enough. She’d recognize that hand anywhere.
She wanted to take a step closer, but her feet refused to obey her brain. From the other side of the door came the sound of Austin’s hand clapping Jackson’s back.
She should tell him not to get the boy’s hopes up. That if he wasn’t here to stay, he shouldn’t have come at all. Because it wasn’t fair to Jackson. Or to her.
But like her legs, her mouth refused to follow her orders.
At last, Jackson took a backward step into the room, a massive grin filling his face. A second later, Austin followed, closing the door behind him.
“Hi.” His eyes met hers, and all she could do was nod. He held a large wrapped box in one arm and, not taking his eyes off her, bent to set it on the coffee table. “I got your message.”
“You called him?” It was the loudest she’d ever heard Jackson speak―so loud she should probably reprimand him for yelling, but she still couldn’t get her voice to work.
“Yes! I knew it.” The boy clapped his hands.
Austin laughed, but Leah’s heart dove. This was exactly why she hadn’t wanted to call Austin. She’d left only a super short message right before she went to bed last night, wishing him a merry Christmas. But he’d obviously heard the sadness in her voice and let his guilt bring him back.
“You didn’t have to come back.”
“I know I didn’t.” His voice was too tender, and Leah had to look away as he stepped toward her. Still her legs wouldn’t work.
“Leah, look at me. Please.” His hands closed around hers, and her eyes were drawn to his.
“I didn’t come back because of your call. I was already on my way. I came back because I realized you were right. Dan was right. Chad was right. Tanner was right. Everyone was right except me, apparently.” He gave an ironic laugh. “I was so angry about everything that happened, so busy thinking that everything had to work out exactly how I wanted it to, that I missed the whole point. It’s not about what I want. It’s about what God wants for me. What he knows is best for me.” He closed the last little bit of space between them. “And that’s you.” He lowered his face toward hers.
Leah’s heart thrummed a thousand beats a minute as she lifted her chin.
“Eww.” Jackson’s voice behind them made them both pull back. But both were smiling.
“And that goes for you too,” Austin said to Jackson. “You’re one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and I’m not going to run away from that.”
Jackson blinked and cleared his throat, staring at the floor, and Leah had to brush a tear from her own cheek at seeing his reaction to being so loved.
“I got you something.” Austin lifted the present off the table, passing it to her.
Although it appeared easy for him to handle, she braced for the weight of the big box. But when he set it into her arms, she almost dropped it because it was so light.
“You got me air?” she teased.
“Guess you’ll have to open it to see.”
Leah lowered herself to the couch so she could set the box on her lap, then began carefully peeling the layers of wrapping paper.
“You might want to grab something to drink,” Austin said over his shoulder to Jackson. “We might be here a while.”
“This is how I open gifts,” Leah shot back. “Take it or leave it.”
“I’ll definitely take it.” Austin grinned at her, and she turned her attention to the box.
Once she had the paper all peeled off, she folded it and set it aside, then lifted the lid off the box, groaning at the sight of another wrapped box inside it.
“You’re one of those present wrappers,” she accused. But she started unwrapping the box immediately.
Three boxes later, she came to the smallest box she’d ever seen. This had to be the last one. There was no way another would fit inside it.
When the paper was finally off, she held a small velvet box in her hand―the kind jewelry came it. Her hands shook as she pried it open, and she nearly dropped it as her eyes fell on the ring inside.
She looked up, but Austin was no longer standing next to her. She’d been so busy unwrapping the boxes that she hadn’t noticed him drop to one knee at her side. His left leg was propped at a slightly odd angle, but she still knew what the pose meant.
She c
ould only blink at him, her heart leaping. Was this really happening? She hadn’t been looking for it. And it was all so fast.
He cradled her hands in his. “Before I came to Hope Springs, I didn’t realize anything was missing from my life.” He laced his fingers through hers. “When I met you, I thought maybe that was it. Maybe you were what I had been missing.” His smile went all the way to his eyes, which shone brighter than she’d ever seen them. “But you helped me see that what I was missing couldn’t be found in a person. Or in redeploying. Or in anything else. What I was missing was God. And you helped me find him again.”
Leah dropped the box into her lap and threw her arms around him. That was the best thing anyone had ever said to her.
After a second, Austin gently unwrapped her from his neck and slid her back so that he could see her face.
“The thing is, though, God had something to show me too.” He lifted his palm to her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “He showed me that even if my life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would, he has been with me every step of the way. And he has led me to you. To both of you.” He looked over his shoulder at Jackson, who was watching them with a half-disgusted, half-intrigued expression. “And I’d like to stay with the two of you for a very long time. Forever, in fact, if you’ll let me.” He dropped his hand from her face and reached for the ring still in her lap, pulling it out of the box and holding it out to her. “Leah, will you marry me?”
Her first instinct was to blurt the yes that had been hovering on her tongue the whole time he’d been speaking. But this was a big decision. It didn’t affect only her. It affected Jackson too.
She swallowed. “Can I think about it?”
Chapter 44
“Merry Christmas, Austin.” Sophie leaned in to hug him, juggling one of her twins on her hip, as Spencer carried the other, along with what looked like a year’s worth of baby supplies.
“Merry Christmas.” Austin reached to help Spencer with the extra highchair. Friends had been coming in and out of Dan and Jade’s house all day, in between visits with their own families. Dan and Leah’s mother had arrived just in time to go to church with them, and though Austin had nearly panicked at the prospect of meeting Leah’s mother, he’d found her as easy to talk to as Leah was.
He hadn’t mentioned this morning’s proposal to anyone, though. He’d let Leah do that―after she made her decision.
Every time his eyes met hers, he felt it. This was right. This was where he was supposed to be. Who he was supposed to be with.
But he wasn’t going to force it. For the past year, he’d been trying so hard to force his will that he’d lost sight of what mattered. But that stopped now. He was going to accept his permanent retirement and wait and see where God led him from here.
And right now, that meant giving Leah the time she needed to make a decision.
In his pocket, his phone vibrated, and he pulled it out, intending to decline the call. It was Christmas, after all.
But the moment his eyes fell on the name, his hands shook so hard, he nearly dropped the phone.
He swiped to answer the video call.
“Hey bro.”
At the sight of Chad’s pixelated face, Austin lost it.
Covering his mouth with his hand, he rushed down the hallway to the nearest empty room.
“Where have you― I thought―” He couldn’t talk around his gasps. Thank you, Lord.
“It’s okay.” His brother’s voice sounded so close and so far away at the same time. “I’m okay.” He repeated it a few times, until Austin managed to pull himself together.
Finally, he scrubbed a hand over his face and cleared his throat. “Sorry. I―”
A knock on the door cut him off. “Austin?” Leah opened the door. “Is everything all right?”
“Is that your gorgeous neighbor?” Chad’s voice was unnecessarily loud, likely intended to embarrass him, but Austin didn’t care.
“Yes it is.” He hurried to the door and grabbed Leah’s hand, pulling her into the room.
“Leah, this is my brother Chad. Chad, Leah.”
The tears that sprang to Leah’s eyes touched him more than anything else could have, and he had to blink back his own emotion again.
“It’s nice to meet you, Leah.” Chad’s voice was warm, and Austin still couldn’t believe it was really him.
“You too.” Leah wiped her eyes. “You had us all pretty worried. A lot of prayers were said here for your safe return.”
“I appreciate that.” Now it was Chad’s turn to sound choked up.
“I’ll let you two talk.” Leah lifted onto her tiptoes to kiss Austin’s cheek, and he reached an arm around her in a quick hug.
“Just neighbors, huh?” Chad’s voice pulled his attention off Leah as she waved and closed the door.
“A lot has changed since the last time we talked.” Austin chuckled, his heart buoyant.
Chad was alive and unharmed, he and Leah were together again, and he was in a home full of people he cared about―and who cared about him.
“So your girlfriend―”
“Possibly fiancée.” Austin could not stop grinning.
Chad’s eyes widened, and he leaned closer to the screen. “Seriously?”
Austin could only nod, still grinning. The only way this day could get better was if Leah answered his question with a yes.
But even if she didn’t, it was shaping up to be a pretty amazing Christmas.
“Okay, then, your fiancée said that there have been a lot of prayers said there. Does that include you?”
Austin studied his brother. Despite the poor video quality, he could see the hope on Chad’s face. His brother had been almost as persistent as Tanner in trying to talk to him about God.
Austin had never appreciated it before, but now he realized that each of those seeds Chad and Tanner―and later Leah and Dan―had planted had sprouted in his heart.
“I prayed for you, Chad. And I prayed for me, that I’d be redeployed so I could come watch your back.” He blew out a breath. “God only answered one of those prayers with a yes.”
On the screen, Chad blinked but didn’t say anything, and Austin wasn’t sure if it was because his words hadn’t gone through or if his brother was waiting.
He gripped the phone tighter. “They moved me to the PRDL.”
Still just a blink from his brother.
“Did you hear me?” Austin held the phone closer to his face, raising his voice in case the connection was bad. “They put me on the permanent disability retirement list.”
“I heard.” Chad’s voice was quiet, but his expression didn’t change. “How do you feel about that?”
“I’m―” Austin hesitated. Three days ago, he would have said he was furious, outraged, ready to tear down every obstacle to return to active duty.
But God had worked an amazing change in his heart since then.
“I went to see Natalie,” he said quietly. “She gave me Tanner’s Bible, and I read some of it.”
Chad’s laugh held admiration. “Gotta hand it to that guy. He never gave up.”
“Yeah.” Austin shook his head. There’d never be anyone quite like Tanner. “He wrote something in there about trusting in God even if.” He licked his lips. He could hardly believe the next part. “So I’m at peace with it. I trust God has something else planned for me. And that he’s got your back better than I ever could.”
“I’m happy for you, Austin.” The sincerity in Chad’s voice carried through the phone. “Looks like my prayers were answered today too.”
Austin nodded, not trusting himself to say anything.
“I have to get to all kinds of debriefings, but I’ll talk to you soon.”
Austin expected the familiar panic to take over at the thought of not hearing from his brother for a while, but a new sense of peace cloaked him. Another answered prayer.
“Merry Christmas, bro.”
After Chad hung up, Austin sat staring at t
he phone for a few minutes, pouring out his thanks to God for so many blessings, hidden and otherwise.
Then he pushed to his feet and hurried to the living room. He had to thank Leah and their friends for all the prayers they’d offered up for Chad―and for him.
“Today was a good day.” Leah leaned into Austin as they walked up the steps to her porch. She couldn’t remember ever feeling more content in her life.
“The best.” Austin dropped a kiss onto the top of her head, then opened the door for her. When he hesitated on the porch, she grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.
“Can we talk?” She barely found the courage to say the words, and she could tell by the way his breath hitched that he knew what she wanted to talk about.
While Austin had been on the phone with Chad―praise the Lord for answered prayers―she’d had a chance to talk to Jackson about Austin’s proposal and what it would mean for both of them, especially if he chose to let her adopt him.
“Austin―”
“Leah, wait.” Austin took her hands and led her to the couch. “Before you give me your answer, can I say one more thing?”
She bit her lip but nodded. There was nothing he could say to change her mind, but she’d let him speak first.
“Whatever you answer, I want you to know that I will always be here for you and Jackson. As friends, if that’s what you want. But I’m not going anywhere either way. And also, I want you to know that saying yes would mean being with a man who is broken but healing in his Savior, a man who makes mistakes but seeks forgiveness. Above all, a man who will love you and Jackson for the rest of his life.” He sucked in a long breath. “I realize that was like four things. But I just wanted you to know. In case it makes a difference.”
But Leah shook her head. At the flash of disappointment in his eyes, she rushed to clarify. “None of that makes a difference, Austin, because I already knew all of it.” She lifted her hands to his cheeks.
“But before I give you an answer, there are a few things I need you to know. One is that you have totally upended my world. I had everything planned. I thought I knew where my life was going. I was happily single. And then you came along and―” She slid her hands along the light layer of scruff on his cheeks. “And I love you so much it literally steals my breath sometimes. And another is that I’m a mess too. I can’t promise I’m not going to ever meddle or try to control things I need to leave to God. But I’m going to trust that you’ll call me out when I do. And also, I want you to be a real father to Jackson―to teach him how to be a man of God. And finally―” She paused, and her eyes locked on his. “Finally, yes, I will marry you.”
Not Until Christmas Morning (Hope Springs Book 5) Page 22
