by Nick Harland
Ponting at the small rifle she said, ‘This AR-7 Henry will hit whatever you put the crosshair over at fifty feet without practice and is good for much further when you get used to it. It’s really light and breaks down quickly and easily into a small waterproof bag and has an eight round magazine. I think we’ll take both. There is some more gear behind the garage and we can look at that and the car after some lunch. I think we need to talk a bit first though.’
The talking bit sounded ominous but she obviously had intents to stay with me for a while at least or she wouldn’t have shown me everything. We packed up all the gear we had taken into hold-all bags, which included a few other guns and a load of ammo, and went back to the kitchen. Lunch was a salad with avocado and pickled prawns and was bloody lovely. Yes, I know I love pizza but I’m not a total oaf and I do care about my body. I have always liked a simple salad but had never had one as nice as that. I knew there was very little of this quality food in my future so I enjoyed every bite. She watched me intently while I ate until eventually I said, ‘What?’
She smiled; it lit up her face and seemed genuine. ‘I just can’t work you out. You appear to be this early 20’s layabout with foul language who probably had little or no job, and yet you also seem smart, caring, fearless, have good taste, and above all you appear to be honest. I don’t feel you’ve held anything back from me or asked anything of me you knew I didn’t want to give, that’s refreshing. And when it comes to fucking you’ve probably had the same experience as every other person in their early 20’s where quantity has probably far outweighed quality. Despite that, with just a little leading, you were able to stay with me and fuck like a superhero. I didn’t expect that kind of patience or control and you showed passion not just lust.’
Then a shadow fell over her face and her full lips joined into a thin line, ‘I know I talk the big game and have all this gear, but I haven’t even been outside my front door. I was in the panic room behind the garage when it must have been happening, recovering from a hangover. I would go there occasionally when I got drunk and pretend I was safe there. I heard the radio broadcasts and just stayed there for the rest of that day. In truth, I don’t know what’s out there or if or how I’ll manage. I’ve never killed anything before. Tell me what you’ve been through. I’ve seen all the bruises and felt the lumps and I know it can’t have been easy. How many have you killed? what was it like first time? What are they like?’
I signed and put my fork down, ‘I haven’t counted but if you exclude the roadkill I suppose it’s around twenty. The first one was the worst because it was a girl I’d slept with a few times last year who used to help out at the pizza shop. She used to close up for them sometimes and get the place ready during the day. She must have been there when it happened. I recognised her as I killed her and it was awful, but had to be done. It was her or me. The others have been easier but there was a big hoard of teenagers from the school, but most were my size so it wasn’t too hard to think of them as like anybody else.’
‘Loads of the teenagers are still probably trapped in some big foundation trenches on the big building site close to the bottom of the road. So far there are normal ones, Sprinters, and Beefcakes. The Sprinters are really fast and launch themselves at you when they are close enough. I’m pretty sure Sprinters were probably really fit when they were alive because both the guys from the bike shop ended up as Sprinters and they aren’t that common. The Beefcakes are big and strong and sound different from the others. When they come at you they are hard to stop, one hurt Mutt and almost got me, that’s where the bump on my head came from. I’ve come across two so far and almost died both times.’
You know the rest, they wander around aimlessly or sometimes stay put until something distracts them. They gather into hordes sometimes. The streets aren’t full of them. I think most are still stuck inside as they don’t open doors, but they will bang against a door or window if something attracts them and won’t stop until they make progress. Eventually I think a lot more will make it onto the streets. I haven’t seen any Zed animals yet so I think it is just a human thing.’
I felt a bit embarrassed but I wanted to tell her everything so there were no secrets, ‘I was having a 24 hour gaming session, on Project Zomboid, a Zombie survival game of all things, when it happened. I didn’t have a clue what was going on. I had earphones on and the windows and curtains were closed so I didn’t even hear the car crashes outside. I woke up and heard the repeating radio broadcast, opened the window, and there they were.’
Eve’s lips parted and she seemed to be trying to suppress a smile. Then she gave up and laughed, ‘That’s classic, seriously, you were on a Zombie games bender and missed the Zombie apocalypse happening outside your window. You have to survive if only to tell that story.’
I had only known her a few hours but when she said, ‘You have to survive’ I felt my heart stop for a moment. I looked at her seriously, ‘We both have to survive.’ Thinking I might have overdone the serious and ruined the atmosphere I added, ‘If only to teach any other survivors how to fuck like superhero’s. I’ve been writing it down, my story. Mainly to stay sane and have someone to talk to, sort of. I have a lap top and a spare battery but I don’t know how long they’ll last.’
She forced a smile and said, ‘I’m sorry. You’ve probably already worked out I come with as much baggage as we’re going to haul out of here. I said I made my choice earlier and that it was ok but I lied, it wasn’t the right one and I was trapped. The fucked up thing is that my life is better now than it was a week ago, and because of you, better today than it was yesterday. I can brings guns and some cool gear to the relationship, and I can use this body I’ve worked on so hard to give us both something to escape to, but I don’t know if I’ll actually be of any use out there, or if I’ll just get us both killed. I know they aren’t targets and I know it’s not a game.’
It felt strange but I reached over the table and put my hand over hers, ‘You’ll be fine. Survival instincts are strong and you’ve had some training. Before you know it you’ll be popping the fuckers faster than I can say, ‘There’s another one.’ In fact, I’ve got an idea. You need to kill one right now, well as soon as we can find one. Fear of the unknown is always worse than the reality, even in an apocalypse. Come with me, right now.’
I got up and she followed me to the front door. Mutt appeared from a room just off the hall and Eve said, ‘Don’t worry he’s fine. He’s had some food and been out the back while you were in the shower.’
I opened the door, gripped Seven, and walked down the steps to the road. Eve drew both her guns and Mutt stayed slightly crouched behind us and ready for anything. We got onto the road and I couldn’t see any Zeds. Eve looked at Frank and said, ‘I have an idea. I’m not sleeping in that thing. A few doors down over the road there is a new camper van parked on the drive. Let’s go find the keys. I have met the people who live there before but your first wasn’t easy either so there is no reason mine should be. I’ll just think about it as putting them out of their misery.’
Eve walked down the road then hesitated and waited for me and Mutt to catch up. The houses on the other side of the road were almost as big as the ones above them on the ridge but I couldn’t help thinking it would still feel like you were being looked down on. The house had a medium sized fancy looking camper in the drive and it had to be better than my old mattress rammed in Frank. Just as we were going to turn into the wide block paved drive three Zeds came into view walking up the road. Eve raised her gun and I said, ‘Just wait and be calm, they don’t speed up until they are quite close and no matter how much ammo you have it won’t last forever. One shot, one kill.’
I gripped Seven more tightly and put my hand in front of Mutts face to stop him. A minute later Eve fired three shots in quick succession and the Zeds went down. Eve turned to me and I said, ‘You’re not going to be a liability. Mutt and I would have got them but there would have been goo and it would be nice to keep these cloth
es clean for a few hours at least. Let’s go find the keys to our new bedroom.’
I don’t know what made me say that. It’s not even like I’ve ever been in a serious relationship, let alone lived with someone. I blushed and started to stutter some apology for the presumption but Eve saved me, ‘It’s ok, I like the idea. I’ve had the same bedroom for far too long and never want to sleep their again.’ Then she kissed me and added, ‘I just hope the mattress is firm and hard wearing.’
We walked down the drive to the hideous oak leaf design front door with stained glass insert. I watched her bum as she walked in front of me and I still couldn’t believe my luck. I stopped at the door and said, ‘I haven’t done the house to house scavenging thing yet and we need a strategy, houses are always the most dangerous thing in games and movies. Let’s go for the traditional knock on the door and see who turns up shall we.’
Eve smiled, ‘Smart, all those hours playing weren’t wasted after all.’ Then she knocked on the door with the butt of one of her guns. We only had to wait a few seconds before an old man shambled up the hall. Eve raised her gun but I said, ‘Let’s conserve ammo shall we. Balance isn’t their thing so knocking them over isn’t hard and they’re not the most sprightly at getting up. This one’s mine.’
I waited until the Zed was close to the door then pulled the handle down and shouldered it hard into the Zed. It bounced off the hall wall and toppled over and I finished it one handed, trying not to get splattered with any goo. Just as I was pulling Seven free a line of older women Zeds shuffled out of a room towards the back of the long hall, one was still carrying some playing cards. I heard Eve say behind me, ‘Bloody canasta Friday, I should have known, sorry. I like you when you don’t smell of brains so please, let me.’
I ducked, held Mutt back, and watched as they approached. The first in the line started to get close enough to speed up and I was worried Eve had frozen, but a second later there was a series of restrained bangs and the smell of gun smoke drifted down into my nostrils. I got up and looked at Eve with my eyebrows raised. She said, ‘I wanted them all this end of the hall so any that might come in behind us have a hard time.’ I nodded and smiled in reply.
It took a while to find the keys in a draw in a sewing room and we bagged up some non-perishable supplies and investigated the van. The décor wasn’t exactly my taste but it was pristine inside and had a well equipped kitchen. We stowed all the food and made up the bed from the seats at the back. It wasn’t large but it was much better than anything I’d spelt in for a while. I turned the ignition on and it only had seven thousand miles on the clock. I fired up the engine for a few seconds just to check and it rumbled as melodically as any three litre diesel does. By the time we had finished it was late afternoon and time to get moving.
Eve said, ‘We don’t have time for messing around so you stay here and I’ll meet you out on the road with the car. I think I know the place you’re talking about so I’ll lead the way and deal with any interruptions. You follow and keep the van safe.’
I was about to speak when she interrupted, ‘I’ll be fine. I need to do this if only to prove to myself that I can, it’s only over the road. Don’t drive out until you hear the motor.’
She kissed me slowly before she opened the van door and memories of a couple of hours earlier flooded though me and made me uncomfortable. I looked back at the bed behind me and got even more uncomfortable. It was a nerve racking five minutes until I heard the rumble of a powerful diesel engine, I had almost been ready to get out and go after her.
I pulled the van up the drive and saw what we she had been calling ‘the car’. It was a black Range Rover but it had been pimped up for apocalypse survival. The wheels were tall and wide and the suspension was raised to compensate. The tyres were knobbly and looked like they could climb a vertical wall of mud. All the windows were jet black and definitely not street legal. It had mat black bull-bars on the front with a winch and another custom set of bars that covered the whole tailgate. It had a snorkel, of course, and six spotlights behind the bull-bars. It was fucking awesome. Eve opened the drivers’ window briefly and said, ‘Don’t worry, you can drive it tomorrow.’ Then she raised her eyebrows, closed the window, and drove slowly down the road pushing poor old Frank out of the way as she did so.
It was only a five minute drive to the base under normal circumstances but these weren’t normal circumstances. The van wasn’t huge by any means but it wasn’t the most manoeuvrable and was a little wider than new Frank. Eve nudged a few cars out of the way to make it easier for me but we weren’t quiet. She drove over a couple of stray Zeds on the way, which went down easily, but we met a small spread out horde at the junction before the path to the base. I could see one Beefcake amongst them and it was immediately apparent there were two Sprinters.
The Sprinters charged and launched themselves at the front of new Frank. Both were tall and I was afraid they might reach the windscreen and go right through it. I couldn’t see what was happening from behind the wheel of the camper and panic rose in me before I saw the Sprinters slide off either side of new Frank. I pulled over a bit to get a better look as the Beefcake emerged from the six or seven that were left and charged towards Eve, knocking two of its horde mates over on the way. As it charged Eve accelerated and to say the meeting was messy is an understatement. She slowed a little as she hit most of the rest and they were either flung to the side or fell beneath the knobbly wheels.
Not wanting to miss all the fun I got out of the van and Mutt joined me. The remaining two Zeds headed towards us and Mutt looked at me mournfully, I waved my hand forwards and he was off before I finished the gesture. I ran after him towards the remaining Zed and Eve poked her head out of the window to gawk. For effect, I hit my Zed with a front kick first as it would minimise the goo and I was hoping to get lucky again. With only one to concentrate on I could fully commit to the move and it staggered backwards and went down. I finished it casually while walking passed it towards new Frank, leaving Mutt to slowly and very messily decapitate his.
I walked past Eve to inspect the car and although there was a lot of goo, and for extra grossness one of the Beefcakes arms stuck in the bull bars, it was otherwise untouched. The arm was utterly gross and horrific but it didn’t affect me, it was almost amusing. I stopped to think for a moment just how screwed up the world was and just how adaptable and resilient people are. I guessed if the world somehow returned to normal I would probably need a lot of therapy, but as that was unlikely whatever was happening in my head to cope with it all was obviously fine.
The windscreen was messy bit it didn’t have so much as a crack. As I stood inspecting it Eve said, ‘Watch this.’ Suddenly the oversized windscreen wipers sprang into action and two pimples stood up from the end of the bonnet and shot powerful jets of water at it. I stepped back, but not before being caught in the spray. Eve laughed and looking at Mutt who came trotting towards us she said, ‘You make a good team.’ Then after a brief pause she corrected herself, ‘We make a good team. Come on, lets go. We’re not safe yet.’
I followed her the rest of the way to the base and unlocked the gates. She went in first and parked about twenty feet up the hill towards the radio tower. After a bit of manoeuvring I got the van in and locked the gates behind us. Eve hoped out of new Frank and made a show of examining the perimeter and gates. Walking back towards me she said, ‘Not bad, not bad at all. The house needs a bit of work but I couldn’t imagine anywhere better for the time being. What do you do for a toilet around here? I assume the building doesn’t have one.’
Before I could stop myself I blushed and looked at my feet. Eve came towards me, lifted my chin up, and kissed me in a way I knew I would never get bored of, she said, ‘It’s ok. The van is fine for now. You’ve only been here two days and already you could last a month by the look of it. When we go shopping we should try and find more of the chemicals the van uses. I saw the building site, it looks loaded with materials and I’m sure with some cemen
t, breeze blocks, and a bit of practice, we can make this place awesome.’
The cooker in the van was better than I expected and Eve made the most of the food we had. It was dark by the time we had eaten and seeing her in the partial light, softening her form, made me smile. She looked back at me said, ‘The leisure battery on this thing won’t last long and we should try and reserve it for the time being.’ Then she twiddled her thumbs theatrically and added, ‘What shall we do now I wonder?’
She had learnt my limits and used every curve of her body to tease me mercilessly. Even though I’d made myself intimately familiar with them earlier, when she finally revealed her breasts again, and when, several painful minutes later, she let me lose on them, I still couldn’t believe how lucky I was. She took me to the very edge of my control before relinquishing her power entirely and following me wherever I wanted to go. Then we let Mutt back in, drank half a bottle of whisky, and went to sleep. It was a good night.
Chapter Nine – I Fucking Hate Shopping
We woke up and had dry cereal for breakfast; I really missed milk. We walked around the compound and discussed the action plan. She started the conversation, ‘We need to go back to the house to get the rest of the useful stuff. There is another panic room behind the garage that is better stocked than the one in the house and has most of the ammo.’ The she looked at me and said, ‘So you’re the Zombie apocalypse survival expert, what’s the next priority?’
I smiled what I hoped was a wry smile and said, ‘After initial survival, finding food, water, and a decent weapon or two, there is only one priority, base building. We need to make ourselves comfortable in here. I haven’t seen any huge hordes but that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. In an emergency we need to be able to survive in here for weeks without leaving and we need to be able to survive a horde attack. In theory we need to be able to survive a hostile survivor attack as well.’
