Lucy's eyes widen as a barrage of questions come flying out of my mouth. "Your mom was one of my best friends growing up. We did everything together, and if we looked more alike, people probably would have thought we were twins."
She looks away, and I see the same hurt on her face that I saw on my father's whenever I would ask him these things.
Taking a deep breath, she looks over at me. "You look just like her you know."
I nod, “my dad used to say that it was almost like having her back with him.”
"You know you never did tell me about your family." She offers me a smile, and I can tell that she is trying to change the topic of conversation.
Little does she know that this one isn’t a happy story either. “I loved them so much. My dad was a great dad. He was never mean like some of my friend's parents. He always tried to do whatever he could for us." My words catch in my throat, and I stop talking.
"Hey, you miss them. It's okay and completely normal." She places her hand on mine, but she has no idea. She thinks I miss them because I left.
“They’re dead.”
Her hand freezes, “what?”
“All of them, my dad, my brothers, my sister, my friend Issac that I was set to marry. They’re all dead.” I can’t hold it together anymore as I start sobbing.
Lucy removes her hand and before I know it she's sitting next to me her arms around me. "I'm so sorry Emma. That's terrible. If you want to tell me what happened, you can."
I pull back to look at her, knowing she is someone who may actually understand where I came from. Someone who won’t look at me like the things I talk about are so crazy and out of this world. “Okay,” it’s all I say before my entire life story starts to spill out. It gets harder when I start to talk about the purity house and waking up one day with everyone you’ve ever loved being gone.
When I get done, I actually feel a little lighter. Being able to cry and talk to someone who has been where I have feels good. She's the only family I have right now, and this is the first time I actually felt that connection between us.
"I don't know what I can say to make it any better, in fact, I know there is probably nothing I can say that will help. I want you to know that you do have family. You have me, and you have everyone here. You'll see soon enough that family isn't just the people you're born with it can be the people you choose." She smiles and cocks her head back toward the club. "That right there is the best kind of family to have."
I nod my head. “Everyone has been really nice.”
“Nice huh?” she laughs. “I have a feeling that you and Tank are getting a little closer than anyone else here.” She winks at me.
"I don't know." Everyone is so fresh with their feelings here, and they're so bold in their actions. I can't imagine ever being comfortable like that.
"I can also relate to that feeling. I fell in love with Jordan before I was even sure I knew what love was. I had no idea what to do with my feelings if he felt the same, or what it all meant." She places her hand on my knee. "I know it's hard, but you also need to try to stop the comparison because there is no comparison to the way we grew up and the way everyone else in the world lives."
"I just feel so out of place, and when I'm with Mikey, all I find myself doing is looking at the other girls, and seeing everything in them that I don't have." My voice is quiet as I admit something to her that I hate even admitting to myself.
"Yep, been there too." She turns her body to face me. "Just listen to what he's saying to you, and believe it. The guys here they don't say things they don't mean, and they don't do anything they don't want to. The biggest thing here is trust, you need to trust them, and they need the same from you. It takes a second to break it and forever to rebuild it."
“So you think I could make all of this work?”
She nudges me with her shoulder, "hey if I can there's no reason you can't."
We both start to laugh, and I feel so much closer to her than I did when I walked out here.
I feel hopeful that my life here could be something really good.
Chapter Twelve
Mikey
Emma’s birthday is tomorrow and trying to keep my distance has been hard.
Walking into the main room, I see the girls watching some sappy crap on the TV and shake my head. Emma is sitting at a table behind them, looking over every once and a while.
"If you're watching it why are you sitting so far away?" I say from behind her, and she jumps.
She smiles at me, "I've never seen it, and I think it might almost be over." She shrugs and looks back toward the TV.
I sit down in one of the other chairs at the table. “Surprised you haven’t seen it. I swear they have it on at least once a week. They’re all talking about going to see the next one when it comes out this summer.”
“I mean I haven’t actually watched a movie before, so there’s an endless list of ones I haven’t seen.”
“Wait, what?” I look over at her confused by what she just said. “You’ve never been to the movies, or watched one?”
She looks away, “both. We weren’t really allowed.”
I stand up and walk toward the office I find Pres, Whip, and Lucy all standing there. "Hey, so I have something to ask and hear me out before all of you say no." They turn to face me. Lucy has a smile on her face. "I want to take Emma to the movies. I was just talking to her in the main room, and she said she's never watched one, ever. We wouldn't really have to worry about people seeing her because it's dark in the theater. I think it would be nice, and something that can help get her mind off of everything that's been going on."
“Yes, no, no.” All three of them answer at once the only yes coming from Lucy.
“Luce…” Whip says.
She turns to face the two of them. "Listen, she's my niece, and I don't have any issue with it. I know that you guys have the whole ‘she has to be over eighteen' thing, but I don't think this is a big deal. Plus as much as you may not want to hear this, she could use the distraction. You have no idea how hard it is to go from where she grew up to living here."
Pres and Whip look at each other and seem to communicate.
Pres looks over at me, “there and back.”
I nod and turn around to go tell her.
"Tank!" Pres calls my name, and I stop turning toward him. "No hands rule is still in effect."
“Got it.” Dammit.
I appreciate Lucy stepping in, I know that's probably the only reason they said yes. Walking back into the main room I bend down to whisper in Emma's ear. "Get dressed. I'm taking you somewhere."
“What?” she stands up. “Where are we going?”
“Surprise, just get dressed.” She smiles and me and hell if it doesn’t hit me right in the chest.
I watch her walk away knowing that I’m a damn goner. I can’t even pretend like she doesn’t have me wrapped around her little finger. I just hope that I can be everything she sees me as. I’ve never been the good guy or the guy that you come to if you need help. I’ve also never been close to the kind of men that lived in that damn community. Whatever the case, she makes me want to be the good guy.
Let’s just hope that I’m not setting us both up for failure.
After a few minutes, Emma comes back out with a massive smile on her face. "Any hints?"
I shake my head. "Going to have you wear your foolproof disguise again though." I wink as I pull my baseball hat onto her head.
"Haha, you're so funny."
We walk out to the truck, once we’re on our way into town I realize that I didn’t even look to see what movies were out or what times they were playing. Oh well, fingers crossed it’s something tolerable.
The theater is only about ten minutes from the club, so the ride is short. Pulling into the lot, she looks around confused. "Where are we?"
I turn to face her, “I’m taking you to see your first movie.”
Her face lights up, and I swear to god there's no better sight to
see. "What are we seeing?"
“Actually I didn't think about that so we'll have to see what's out." As we walk toward the theater, she holds my hand, and I look over at her. "Happy?"
“So much.” She smiles at me.
Heading inside and looking at the movies out there isn't a huge choice for her. There are a couple of scary movies since it's October. Two superhero/action movies, an animated kids movie, and then one of the sappy love stories the old ladies are always watching. “I feel like I know the answer, but which one do you want to see?”
She shrugs, “I don’t know.”
We both know she doesn't want to sit through horror or action. Animated is out, and that leaves me sitting through a chick flick. "Come on." I grab the tickets, and we head inside. "Let's grab something to eat."
She’s looking around like I brought her to a five-star restaurant in Paris when in all reality we are at a hole in the wall movie theater. I order a big tub of popcorn, a couple sodas, and some candy. "You ready?"
“Who is all that food for? The popcorn alone could probably feed the whole club.” She laughs and grabs a couple pieces from the tub popping them into her mouth
“You say that now, but this stuff is addicting. Plus I need something to keep me occupied during this chick flick.” Wink at her and start to walk toward our theater.
When we get in she stops at the top of the ramp. "Wow, I don't think I've ever seen a screen that big."
I start walking up the stairs, and she follows me, grabbing a seat in the middle of the row I put all of our stuff down. "Excited?"
“I can’t wait!” she says it a little too loud causing some people to turn around and look at us. “Sorry.” She whispers. “Thank you so much for this.”
“Anything for you babe.”
I mean that too.
I would do anything she needed.
I’m already falling in love with her.
Chapter Thirteen
Emma
As I sit in the movie theater, I keep looking over at Mikey. I can't believe that he took me here just because I said I'd never been. He's so kind, and thoughtful. I can't believe that he actually cares about me and wants to spend time with me. I'm so far from any of the other girls at the club, and I'm sure any girl he's ever been with before.
Lucy’s words ring in my ear, Just listen to what he’s saying to you, and believe it.
I’m trying.
I turn my attention back to the movie. It's such a sad love story. They just found each other and fell in love, and now she's found out that he's getting deployed and sent to war. I couldn't imagine loving someone and then just having them leave for so long.
Mikey reaches over his hand covering mine and giving it a gentle squeeze. When I look at him, my stomach goes crazy, and I can't help the smile that breaks out. Lucy said she loved Jordan before she even knew what love was, I feel like I could be following the same path.
Whenever I'm not around him, I find myself wondering what he is doing. When I get dressed in the morning, I find myself hoping he likes the outfit. When I fall asleep, I wish he was there with me.
I lean in surprised at my forwardness as I press my lips to his. He doesn't move at first but as I pull away his hand moves up holding the back of my neck and pulling me back to him. His tongue dips into my mouth, and he tastes like sugar form the candy. I let my hand play with the hair at the base of his neck.
Mikey pulls back breaking our contact and pulling me against him. “You’re dangerous woman.”
I look up at him with a smile, and he places a kiss on my lips before looking back up at the screen.
This all feels so surreal. Finding him and feeling as comfortable as I do with him. I have seen couples in the community and the way that they treated each other was nothing like the way Mikey has already been treating me.
I lay my head against his chest and watch the story unfold before me.
The way the couple in the movie treat each other is something that I hope for and at the same time never thought I'd have. That's when it happens the girl gets a knock on her door, and it’s terrible news. He died while away, she sinks to the floor and as she cries I cry with her. It's not just because of the story I'm invested in, but it's the sense of loss. I get it, and lately, I've dealt with more loss than I could have ever imagined.
I've also realized something since I talked with Lucy. I didn't just lose my family and Issac. I lost me too. The old me that would have been content to live out life the way I had always thought was destined for me. The only way I ever thought happened. Now there are so many possibilities in front of me, and I feel like a whole new person.
My birthday is tomorrow, in the past, that's never really meant much. We would have a cake, but that was about it because with twenty birthdays in one house it wasn't practical to make a big deal out of them.
I don’t expect anything much here either. Lucy asked me yesterday what I’d like to do and I told her I don’t want it to be a big thing.
Honestly, the one thing I really want is just to be happy.
Chapter Fourteen
Mikey
Today is Emma's birthday, and I can't wait to go see her. Pres called an early church, and it's the first one I'm sitting in on as a brother. Everyone files in and then Whip closes the door. I'm hoping this goes by quick so that I can go see my girl, the fact that I can officially say that today makes me so damn happy.
The room quiets down, and Pres stands up. "Wrench is working on finding the community, but we keep hitting dead ends. Fuckers are like ghosts. No record anywhere we look. Speaking of Emma, Mikey I'm gonna guess you got an announcement seeing as today is her birthday." He cocks an eyebrow at me.
A few of the brothers start to laugh, assholes.
I stand up giving a nod to Pres. “I’m claiming Emma as mine.” Fists bang on the table as the brothers yell.
"Shocker," Pres says. "There will be a celebration tonight. I want to reinforce to you all that we are still in lockdown mode. These assholes have struck us hard multiple times, and I refuse to let that shit happen again. Got it?" Everyone nods. "Dismissed."
We all file out of the room, and I head right for Emma's room. I don't even bother knocking, finding her standing at her dresser. "Happy birthday beautiful." I walk over to her pulling her close and pressing my lips against hers. "Today I finally get to call you mine and treat you like it. Just say the word. Tell me it's what you want and I promise you that you'll never spend another day alone."
Looking into my eyes, she pauses, and it feels like an entire year passes. "It's what I want more than anything." She stands on her tip toes and kisses me. I lift her up placing her on the dresser while I kiss her and enjoy the feeling of being able to be with her. There is no worry that someone will walk in and catch us. There's only the feeling of being able to have her in my arms and knowing that it's where she wants to be.
“Just so you know, its official in the club. I told the brothers that you’re mine.”
Her hands tighten on my hips. “I kind of love hearing you say that.”
I look in her eyes, not caring how long I’ve known her or how fast things have developed. I know how she makes me feel. “I love you.”
Her eyes widen, and I can see her mind working.
"I don't need you to say it back. It's crazy and quick. I know that—“
"I love you." She says it so fast that I almost don't catch it. "I've never felt like this before, and I honestly have no idea what to do with it. I know that it has to be love though."
“You have no idea how fucking amazing it feels to have you say that to me.” I place a kiss against her lips.
"I do though because I felt that way as soon as you said it to me." Her hand strokes my hair and I close my eyes as I enjoy the feeling of having her hands on me.
“You know that this is it right? Once I say I claimed you, you’re it for me.”
Her thumb strokes my cheek, “promise?”
"With every inch of me
gorgeous." I trail kisses down her neck, and she moans her legs squeezing my hips. "You can't make noises like that babe, because I know there is no way you're ready for the next step." I can feel myself getting hard the zipper of my jeans almost becoming painful.
She looks away, and I can tell she's uncomfortable.
“Hey,” I wait for her to look at me. “I get it, don’t think I don’t. I know that is nowhere close to what you’re up for and I’m okay with that. I would never want you to do anything unless you were completely ready for it. I’ll be here whenever that day comes. Until then just having you be mine is enough for me.”
“But—“
"No, I mean it, Emma. Hear me when I say it, you're worth waiting for." I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
She leans down kissing me, and I can feel everything she's trying to say in that kiss. Love, fear of the unknown, hope for the future.
I know that whatever comes our way we will be able to face it together and that’s all I need.
Chapter Fifteen
Emma
Mikey looks at me, and I have never felt so cared for. I believe him when he says that he'll wait for me. I love him even more for that. I still can't believe I said those words to him.
“I have something for you.” He whispers.
Digging into his back pocket, he pulls out a white box. I smile and take it from him. "You didn't—“
"Stop." He places his hand over mine. "Now that you're mine expect to be spoiled. Know that I will make sure you have everything you could ever need and more. Tell me I didn't have to do something is pointless. I will and want to do anything and everything for you. Got it?"
Anarchy (Deathstalkers Book 10) Page 5
