I delivered a smile right back and crouched down to her level. “Well it’s very nice to meet you too Ruth. I hope we have lots of fun together.”
She giggled, “Do you sew?” she asked curiously as she rocked on her heels.
“I do! I sew very well, and perhaps I can teach you. What do you say to that?” I asked.
She seemed to get very excited, “I can’t wait Miss Vanessa!” she said.
I stood back upright and patted the young girl on the head before she was ushered back to her room by the very apologetic nanny. Brandon assured her it was perfectly fine before he turned back to me and gave me a weak grin, “I guess neither of us is completely perfect then, now are we?” he asked.
“No, but I don’t consider something like this an indicator of imperfection.” I said softly. We were close, and the natural attraction between us was growing stronger by the moment. It seemed like we truly were made for one another. We were two lost souls, both longing for acceptance, and coming together in a world that was built to scrutinize. I was shocked that he had a child already, but it only made what could be between us much better.
His lips met mine, and soon I was in his arms as he gave me a soft, and succinct kiss. The small gesture held so much electricity and energy that I could feel my heart swell more, and my stomach felt fluttery. He parted from me and took my hands in his once more, “I think together we can mend the broken pieces of our lives. Maybe when we’ve had some time to settle, we can talk about those pasts, but for now I’d like for you to focus on getting our wedding together. I’ll have a few of my staff show you around the house and to where your room is, and then maybe you and Miss Taft would like to go and start getting everything together. My sister will be here tomorrow to help.” He said.
I assumed he had business in the fields to attend to, so I left him to his work and was left in the hands of the gracious staff of the home. I was even more certain and assured of my decision now. Emily had been wrong about this man. Nothing could go wrong to ruin what was budding between us.
Chapter Four
The very next day, I was sitting with Olivia in what was my room for the time being. All night I had been too jittery to sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about Brandon. Occasionally my thoughts drifted to Ruth, and my own unborn child. The thoughts were so pleasant I could barely contain my excitement about anything, and it took everything I had to keep from waking Olivia just to blather on about it all.
Today, she was brushing my hair for me. I was already dressed and prepared to meet Jocelyn, but as I observed the morning glow in Texas, Olivia spoke up. “You will be a mother more than once.” She said.
I nodded my head lightly, “Indeed I will. I’m happy about it honestly.” I said with a bright grin.
“Yes, but what do you think of more then?” she asked curiously.
I giggled and blushed like a schoolgirl, “Now let’s take this one step at a time. I’m sure if he wishes to have children with me, it is something that will happen. For now, we have two angels that we can focus on.” I said.
There was a sudden knock at the door, but then before I could say a word, it burst open. In bounced the most gaudily dressed woman I had ever seen. She was somewhat heavyset, with thick makeup on her face, and ostentatiously dressed. “Oh my! I’ve seen your face around before sugar, I’m sure of it!” she said.
I was very startled by her, but tried to remain polite. I was certain she was Brandon’s sister, which was hard to believe even though I knew it was true.
“You must be Jocelyn.” I said with a smile.
“Sure am…And you’re that Cromwell woman they’re talking about all in the papers today.” She said. “Honey, have you seen the paper?”
I looked confused. This town, separated by acres and acres of land between neighbors, certainly couldn’t have found out much about me. Why was I in the paper? I shook my head incredulously, “Well…No.” I said, “Are you certain it’s me?” I asked the robust woman.
She looked me over closer and then nodded her head, “Yes darling. It’s definitely you. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.” She said. “You should go check it. It’s national news.”
I looked at her worriedly before skirting off down the stairs to the foyer where sure enough, a paper laid menacingly atop the console table.
When I opened it up, I immediately spotted my face. The paper read, “Widowed and Pregnant Wife Runs to Texas for Love.”
I was immediately hurt. How had anyone found out about this? How did anyone know that was what I had done? As frustration, anger, and hurt settled in, I realized it could only be one person. My blood ran cold just thinking about it. “Emily.” I stated.
Olivia walked up behind me and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, “She was envious…She didn’t understand how a widowed woman with child could find a husband a second time while she had yet to find even one. She wrote to Mr. Hynes and didn’t hear back.” Olivia explained.
I turned to her quickly, “When did you know of this!?” I asked shocked.
“It is only recent knowledge. She came to me drunk one night in my own home. She said that you didn’t deserve love, and that was why she would slander you across the country. She was drunk, so I didn’t think she would go through with it. I’m sorry for not telling you.” Olivia said. She had a look of deep regret on her face, “I only wished not to hurt you.”
I sighed despite my fury at my friend, and the annoyance I had with Olivia for not going ahead and letting me know, “It is unreasonable for one to think that someone drunk isn’t just spewing crock out the side of their neck.” I stated after some contemplation.
“T-there is one other thing…” she said quietly, as she pointed to the paper.
I looked where she was pointing to and noticed more damning language, “It was alleged that Mrs. Cromwell’s husband was having an affair with a close family friend, and the jealous rage prompted her to kill her husband. The alleged murderer may not be mentally well or stable…?” I read aloud in disbelief. Emily was subtly trying to tell me she’d had an affair with my late husband…I couldn’t believe the nerve of the girl, and it took every ounce of me to regain my composure and not give in to her. She wanted this to go poorly for me all along! How had I not noticed?
I felt another presence behind me, and this time it was Jocelyn and Brandon. Both had somber expressions on their faces.
“Please tell us none of this stuff is true sweetie. I haven’t even known you for a split second, and all of this…” Jocelyn said. “I only worry about your safety.”
I looked at Jocelyn, then Brandon, and finally Olivia’s sullen expression. I couldn’t do this again. If I was going to have to leave behind what I had just found, so be it. I supposed I would just be alone forever, left to be some old croon who had no one, potentially not even my own child. I ran off outside, and heard Brandon’s voice behind me. “Vanessa!” he called after me.
I didn’t stop. I just wanted to run forever. The flat horizon ahead of me made me feel sick to my stomach, and the flat earth saddened me to the core even more. There was nowhere I could run from my past, and the view before me was the imagery of my predicament. Now everyone would think I was a murderer, insane, and some washed up woman who would bear the shame of having her child fatherless, not to mention couldn’t keep her husband satisfied enough to not commit adultery. I knew they were following me, but I kept running. This wasn’t the life I asked for, and I had done everything right. I did just as mother said and kept my legs closed until marriage. I did as father said and paid attention to my studies, honored my family before enterprise, and loved my country. Why was everything so terrible for me now?
I felt dizzy, and my vision began to blur. Everything had happened so fast…
My head felt like it was floating, and soon all I saw was the spinning sky above me.
“Vanessa…”
I heard a masculine voice and the soft ticking of a clock…It had to be a grandfather clock
with that distinct rhythmic ticking. I felt warm, yet my head was pounding. Did I sleep too long?
Suddenly my memories came flooding back in. I remembered what had happened and I sat up with a start.
Brandon was instantly wrapping his arms around me to still my movement. “Vanessa!” he said relieved, “Thank God you’re alright.”
I looked at him, still dazed and confused, “What happened to me?” I asked softly.
He scratched the back of his head, “You passed out, and took a pretty nasty fall. The doctor we had by said you seemed to be in shock. He wants you to rest so we can monitor the baby.” He explained.
I remembered the red hot anger I felt when I discovered that my best friend had betrayed me in favor of vengeance. I was disturbed that it could happen, but more than that I was hurt. “What will become of me Brandon? I’m not fit to be your wife with such an ugly reputation.” I explained sadly, “And no one is going to believe a word I say. It’s a world filled with gossip-hungry beasts.” I said as I felt the tears began to pour down my cheeks.
Brandon embraced me tighter, “Vanessa, you’re a great woman, and I can feel that from you. No amount of slander is going to convince me otherwise without some firsthand proof, and I just don’t take you as that kind of person. You’re fun and full of life…Ruth loves you. Begged her nanny to help make cookies for you for when you got back on your feet.” He said with a gentle smile.
I couldn’t help but smile at those words. Sweet little Ruth… “I am eternally grateful for that.” I said, though I still felt a miserable sadness.
“We’re still getting married Vanessa. You aren’t the only one with dark spots in your past. Besides, that Emily girl that was your friend? Olivia told me all about her, and yes she did send me a letter, not long after you did. She sounded staged and immature unlike you. She lacked passion. I didn’t want a woman like that, one who’d leave me lonely in a week for my money.” He said with a wry grin. “Rest assured that the people here are only concerned that somebody up in the Northeast is so hell bent on destroying somebody else’s happiness. She can have her fun up in Connecticut husbandless.” He said hugging me close.
His words were comforting to me. They reassured me that Brandon was a good man, one willing to be fair and gentle. I couldn’t see myself without such a down to earth man in my life, and now I questioned how I had ever been satisfied with Lawrence.
I smiled at him and we engaged in yet another loving kiss. This time, I let my arms drift around him to pull myself closer. I felt like a loved woman in his arms.
That was when we heard an innocent giggling from the doorway. We abruptly turned around to find Ruth standing there with her hand pressed firmly to her lips as she tried to contain a smile. The nanny stood behind her with the tray of cookies spoken of earlier and shook her head.
Brandon and I couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation. Things really were going to be okay.
Chapter Five
We set the wedding for three months from that day. The Christmas season was approaching, and though my belly grew bigger, he only seemed to love me more. We prepared the home for Christmas, played with an excitable Ruth as we did so, though I was growing more fatigued the further my pregnancy progressed. We began to go to church together, and I grew more immersed in the community as time passed. No one seemed to bat a lash at the fact that were a blended family of the most unimaginable sense, and I was thankful for that.
I got to know Jocelyn better and realized she was just a very unique woman, but always meant well. Joseph had never shown up to give us his blessing, but then it was also learned that their relationship was strained as well…I learned the day of our wedding why that was, and I recalled it as I prepared for my first night sleeping with my husband.
Jocelyn was helping Olivia to braid my hair, but I noticed her unusual quiet. She was very boisterous throughout the entire process, but now she was practically invisible with her silence. “Olivia dear, would you mind leaving us be while I finish up? I have some things to discuss with Vanessa.” She said.
Olivia didn’t hesitate to stop what she was doing and exit as she was asked to. When we were alone, Jocelyn finished her braid and then placed a hand on my shoulder, “There are some things you should know about Brandon. He’s truly a nice man, a very good man, but he’s got a bit of history too, you see.” She said.
I grew nervous at those words, “Perhaps we should save it for another time then? Maybe he should tell me?” I asked.
Jocelyn shook her head, “He asked me to. Said if you wanted to call off the wedding before it happened that you had every right to. Brandon is a man of God, he really is. He’s a decent man, but he’s made mistakes. Ruth is his daughter, but her mother was Bridget Daniels, and Bridget was Joseph’s longtime flame.” She explained.
When the connections clicked, I realized what Jocelyn was saying and my heart sank, “You don’t mean…?” I asked quietly.
Jocelyn nodded her head, “They had a relationship out of wedlock, and the product was Ruth. At first Joseph tried to pretend it didn’t happen, that Ruth was just his daughter. You see, Joseph wasn’t a believer, so his inhibitions were limited. He had already slept with Bridget, so it was entirely possible the child could be his. Bridget didn’t make it through childbirth however, and so Joseph has forever blamed Brandon for her death.” She explained, “I know as well as anyone that Bridget’s death was just some freak occurrence. She never returned Joseph’s feelings, so I suppose it struck an even deeper blow. Brandon has tried his best to repent for all of this. It’s a hard road for him, and even through all of that, he’s raised Ruth the best he can. Bridget had been seducing him for months and he finally caved. It’s truly terrible, but Joseph found another woman and is living happily in California. I believe Brandon deserves some happiness now too, and Ruth deserves a mother. He wants to raise her in a home centered around the love of the Lord. I’m glad he found you.” She said with a kind smile.
Thinking back on that conversation made me feel a mixture of feelings I couldn’t describe. We really were a chaotic storm when put together, a true scandal, but I realized that day that it was okay. I could forgive him, and I could forgive me. I could even forgive Emily and Lawrence. In the end it was all designed to end up this way. There wouldn’t be an end unless we made one, and God would watch over our union as he watched those mistakes in our past make us stronger servants.
I was wearing a negligee now, waiting for him to come in so that I could surprise him with my more daring display. This would be the first time he would have seen me so bare, and I was nervous.
Unlike Connecticut, no snow fell in Texas. It was dry and mild, and the days just seemed shorter. While I was watching our Lord at work, I heard our door open. It was Brandon, and he came inside dressed down in a robe.
I had to admit he was quite handsome that way. I admired his physique, and he seemed just as nervous as me. We both gave each other a weak smile before letting out our own nervous laughs, but I noticed Brandon’s eyes trace over my feminine figure, and he came closer to me as he pulled me near. “For the first time, I can be with the woman I truly do feel close to. I never expected myself to fall in love so quickly, but here I am.” He said with a light laugh, “You look beautiful by the way.”
“And you are quite handsome…Can I ask you a question Brandon?”
“Certainly.”
“Why a mail order bride? Why not a woman here? Why did you take me, someone who has so much baggage?”
“Because why would anyone without some sense of understanding know what I’d gone through? I made mistakes, broke my brother’s heart…Gave life to my daughter, but robbed her mother of it. I fell into sin, and I live each day carrying that burden. In a sermon one day, our pastor made a good point however. He said we can’t move on with God unless we learn to forgive ourselves. I can only pick up the pieces and move forward from here. Ruth deserved a mother, and I deserved love…You did too, and that’s why we are her
e together now.”
I held him near, “Brandon you’re absolutely right.” I said softly.
He hugged me to him tighter still and kissed just behind my ear, “When I saw you walk down that aisle, I knew I had done the right thing.”
We stayed this way for quite a long time, enjoying one another’s embrace. We did not make love for fear that we might harm the baby, so our bodies being close to one another’s for the first time was the feeling that we enjoyed that night.
Before Spring could grace Texas, Lilly Anne Hynes was born, and I watched as she clung to me for what nourishment I could offer her. She had my eyes, and while her father’s features were undeniable on her tiny face, all I saw was love. Brandon seemed to feel the same, and he looked on at her in awe. “She is quite beautiful Vanessa…” he said, “I believe we picked her name well.”
“As do I.” I said with a bright smile. I watched her eyes study mine, and Oliva came in with a fresh water and cloth for me.
“She truly is beautiful…Lilly Anne Hynes…Such a gorgeous name too.” She said in admiration.
Brandon turned to her and nodded, “She’ll be the light of Ruth’s life, don’t you think?” he asked her.
“Yes! Ruth will love her to death. God certainly is good, and you both are very blessed.” She said as she wrung out the rag and began to gently wipe my neck and forehead. “I can only imagine what the day will be like for me…” Olivia said dreamily.
I giggled, “Oh Olivia…You still have so much more time before you should be thinking of things like that. You’re only 17.” I said chidingly.
“Perhaps, but I have always wanted a family. I assume it’s because I never really had one…” she said looking thoughtful.
I frowned a little, “It is sometimes the way of things, but I assure you that you are cared for.” I said.
Olivia seemed grateful, but soon after the exchange of words, someone was knocking on my door. Olivia skirted over to answer it, but instead of welcoming the guest inside, she stepped out. I rose my eyebrow in confusion. What she did meant the guest would not normally be welcomed inside, and I feared the worst.
Regency Romance: Fallen Duchess (A Historical Victorian Murder Mystery Love Regency Romance) Page 50
