by D. C. Stone
“Son, give it up,” his father stated. “Something is wrong and it’s written all over your face. Out with it.”
Hadn’t he come home for this? To be accepted, to not be afraid to put it all out there? His mom covered his hand lying on the tile countertop. She gave it a squeeze and he closed his eyes. “I’ve wanted Brooke for longer than I could remember.”
“Nothing new there,” his mother stated.
“Things between us have always been tenacious at best. She was married.”
“Got divorced,” his dad, Daniel, added.
He opened his eyes and nodded. “Got divorced, and still, I kept a distance. I wanted to let things come along on their own terms. I didn’t think I could give her something she didn’t want, nor did I want to ruin our friendship. I look at Hailey now as if she is my own, care for that little girl like she’s the world.”
Charlie leaned against Trent. Dwayne didn’t think either of them realized the silent support they offered one another, even when their attention focused elsewhere.
“Well, things changed in the past week. Between Brooke and I. But unfortunately, they really didn’t change for the better.” He winced.
“What do you mean, not for the better,” his mom asked.
“Not going to get into it. Not with you. No way, no how. Sorry, Mom, not happening.”
She huffed. “Oh please, you clean your sons’ rooms through their teenage years and you learn everything you ever wanted to know, including things you didn’t.”
He grimaced. “Mom! Please!” Shaking his head, he laughed. “Christ, woman!” He laughed again when she smacked his arm. “Let’s just say Brooke thinks I’m not one to settle down. Doesn’t seem to understand how I care for her.”
“Ah.” One word. Understanding dawned in his mother’s expression. “I see exactly what’s happened.”
A feeling akin to a needle prickled at the back of his neck. “You see? You see what?”
“Oh, baby,” she said, eyes sad. “I wish I could have been there for you sooner.”
“Mom—” he tried to interrupt, but she cut him off.
“No. Don’t you mom me.” She took his hand and squeezed it to her chest, staring at him with so much conviction he reared his head.
“I wish I could have. Your birth mom wasn’t a bad person, baby. She had her vices, though, and those issues of hers have passed on to who you have become as a man. I tried to show you that it’s okay to express your love, to voice it, but I have a feeling I may have failed.
“I have very few regrets in my life, but this one is on the list. I allowed you boys to do as you needed. I wanted you all to test the limits, to fly, to learn. I wanted you to feel as if you could figure out the world on your own, make your mistakes, and solve your way out of them yourselves.
“With you, though, it was a bit harder because of what you went through. I wanted to protect you from all that ugliness, wanted you to have the innocence you were denied as a child. She brought those men into your home, screwed them in front of her baby, and left you alone again for hours to fend for yourself.”
His throat grew thick. Memories swamped him as he remembered.
“You came for me, though,” he rasped, his words rough.
“Not soon enough. I wish I could have been there sooner.” His dad stepped up behind her and set his hands on her shoulders. A show of support. She glanced at him, then at Dwayne. Tears filled her eyes but didn’t spill over.
“You were eating flour out of a bag that had been left in the closet. You’d been alone for only God knows how long. That’s what they told us. You were so young, yet your eyes so old. I wanted to shelter you for a bit longer, babied you into not being pressured to talk about it. Because no one really wanted you to remember.”
“But I do,” he said.
“You do,” she confirmed. “I didn’t want this, though. I didn’t want you scared to touch life, touch someone for fear of the unknown. Life isn’t written in braille, baby. Neither is love, friendship, experience, or knowledge. Life is just that, to live, to learn, to experience, and to love.”
Her tears spilled over and damn him if he didn’t feel one slide down his own cheek. He understood what she tried to say. Many nights he had talked to her about his birth mother, about the way she used to toss the words of love around as if they were air, nothing special. It was her actions that affected him most. She didn’t do things that showed love, and in some way, he was almost reliving her life through his own.
“Don’t you do that,” his mother snapped, her voice angry.
He startled. “Do what?”
“You are not her,” she said, gripping his hands with a strength that surprised him.
“Ma, I didn’t say…”
“You didn’t, but you were thinking it.”
He pursed his lips and bowed his head. Fuck, when had life gotten so out of control? When had he lost it all?
“Say it,” she whispered.
“Say what?”
“That you’re not her,” she replied and her voice broke. The damn sound tore at his heart and his chest caved in. He never wanted to hurt her, never wanted to mess things up between him and Brooke, and he never wanted to feel this lost again.
“I’m not her,” he whispered.
“Louder, baby, I don’t think your dad heard you.”
He lifted his head and looked at both of his parents. “I’m not her.”
They smiled.
“Now, go talk to her, you ass,” Charlie quipped from behind.
* * * *
Luke sat back in the chair, legs stretched out before him, crossed at the ankles, his arms folded across his chest. He’d been sitting like that, outside of Hailey’s room, for hours now, so many he’d lost count. He hadn’t gone back to the hotel room, hadn’t really moved from this spot other than to piss or get some coffee and a bite to eat.
So maybe he was being a little over the top with keeping watch here. Sure, the bad guys had been taken down, the threat against Hailey gone, just as sure as the meatloaf he’d had for dinner last night in the cafeteria wasn’t made with real hamburger.
He didn’t know why he stayed, well, other than the fact that his brother would have his ass. But he wanted to stay even outside all that.
Why?
He didn’t know.
“Fucking hell,” he muttered and sat up, scrubbing his hands over his face.
He did know, and the reason sat in the room behind him, resting fitfully, trying to recover from an ordeal of hell. He’d peeked in earlier, and the sight of Hailey lying so small and sick beneath the white covers… His damnable heart tore apart.
“Shit, damn, shit, damn, damn,” he said and stood. He paced two steps to the left, pivoted and paced another four, then turned again. He needed to get back to work. The problem was he wasn’t due for another seven days. He’d expected things to take a bit of time, and who knew how long they’d have Hailey here, but he didn’t think he’d be able to handle another seven days standing around, watching her, thinking about her, wanting…her.
“She’s seventeen, dude,” he told himself.
Technically, she turns eighteen next week.
And wasn’t that just another kick in the balls? That Hailey would have to celebrate her eighteenth birthday with an injection from the good ’ole drug of methadone. Welcome to the world of feeling faint and like you’re going to throw up. Have another!
“It’s not your problem, Luke,” he muttered.
No, no it wasn’t, but damn if it really was. He still remembered her as a skinny little girl following his big brother around, coming over to the house for holidays, and he’d watched her grow into a teenager up until a few years ago when he left to become a US Marshal.
But the girl he remembered from three years ago was not the same as the one who’d seduced the shit out of him in that room back at the club.
She was high!
“I know!”
She’s underage, asshole!
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“I know!” he snapped.
“Luke?” a soft voice asked from behind.
He whipped around and damn if he didn’t feel his cheeks heat like a schoolboy caught peeking in the girls’ locker room. Brooke.
“Yeah?” he asked hesitantly. How long had she been standing there? She must think he was a complete moron.
You are.
“Who are you talking to?” She looked up and down the hall with a question in her eyes.
Hell.
“Uh, no one,” he answered and pushed on. “Is everything okay? Has Hailey said anything?”
Her faced twisted and he mentally kicked himself in the nads. Like full-out, David Beckham in his best shot to get to the goal, kick.
“Why do you keep asking that?”
“Asking what?”
“If she’s said anything.”
He jammed his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his feet, his mind scrambling for an answer, because telling her what happened back in the club wasn’t an option, and telling her he wanted to see if Hailey remembered him just made him a dick.
You are.
Shut. Up.
“I mean,” Brooke went on, “normally one would ask how someone is doing in the hospital, how they were feeling. Not if they’ve said anything.”
“I’m curious to see what she’s going to remember, if there’s anything we’ve missed during the takedown is all.”
Brooke stared at him, and he fought not to fidget. He didn’t think she’d buy the story, hell, he didn’t even buy it, but after a few moments, she nodded.
“Okay, no, she hasn’t said much. She’s awake, though, and I think they are going to want to transfer her home today.”
Luke frowned and glanced down at his watch as if it held all the answers. “Already? She’s only been here a few days.”
Brooke offered a sad smile and shrugged. “That’s what I thought, too, but apparently the worst part is over and she’ll continue her recovery at home with an aide. The hospital will be sending a nurse down to explain and work on getting someone local in Rockland County.”
He rubbed at the back of his neck and shook his head slowly. “I’m not familiar with all that, but if they say it, then surely it must be what’s best. When are they thinking of discharging?”
Brooke stared at him and he really wanted her to stop. Dude, seriously, you’re squirming again.
Stop that!
“In a few hours. Do you have a car, or should I arrange to rent one?”
He shook his head fast. Surely, she didn’t expect him to leave her to take care of everything. His brother would have his ass if he abandoned them now. “Don’t worry about that. I still have the rental and will drive you all back down. Just let me know what she—what you both need,” he amended, “and I’ll make sure to get it ready.”
She nodded, then glanced over her shoulder. “Okay, thank you, Luke.”
“Anytime,” he said, but she’d already walked back in the room, leaving him standing there wondering about what the hell he’d gotten himself into and how the hell he’d ever get it out of his head.
* * * *
The next day…
Brooke shut the door to Hailey’s room with a soft click and waited, listening for any sign her daughter would need her. The hall was dark, surrounding her with its comforting silence, but inside she wanted to scream and shout at the unfairness of it all.
The drive had gone by smooth enough, with Hailey resting fitfully in the backseat. There had only been one instance in which she woke with a piercing shrill, but Luke’s calm voice had soothed Hailey in a way Brooke hadn’t seen in the days since she’d been rescued.
Brooke had seen him watch her daughter from the reflection in the rear view mirror more than once. But each time he saw she caught him, Luke turned his attention back to the road with a tightening of his lips. She didn’t know what happened in the back room, didn’t want to let her mind wander, and as grateful as she was that he’d helped, she didn’t think she could handle the attention he gave Hailey for too much longer.
She wasn’t ready for her daughter to grow up. She wasn’t anywhere near close to accepting that men looked at her. And they were, just as Luke did.
When Hailey’s soft snores remained constant, Brooke turned from the door and tiptoed down the hall to the living room. Luke sat on the couch, his ankles crossed and resting on the ottoman’s footrest. He typed furiously on his cell phone, his relaxed pose deceiving.
“Idiot,” he muttered and tossed the device down. He glanced up at her and winced. “Sorry, not you. Dwayne.”
She couldn’t help it, she smiled. Related by the bond of adoption or not, the six brothers acted as if they’d been born of the same blood. Her smile wilted at the reminder of the dark, good-looking older brother and she crossed the room to sit on the couch opposite of Luke.
“If he heard you say that,” she started, “I’m sure heads would roll.”
Luke smiled and it was a thing of beauty, completely transforming his face. She tried to remember the last time she’d seen him smile but came up short. “He keeps asking about Hailey. I told him to stop by, that it’d be good for her, but he’s so damn stubborn and won’t do it.”
She snickered when inside she felt anything but humor. In fact, at the thought of Dwayne stopping by, her stomach flipped and her heart clenched. She clasped her hands on her lap to try to hide their shaking. “I’m sure he’ll come around in his own time. He’s probably got things to do, people to see.”
Luke stared at her, studying. His gaze dropped to her hands and lifted again to her eyes. “You and I know that’s not true. His mind isn’t anywhere but on exactly what’s going on in this house.” His words sounded measured, spoken slow as if he gauged her reaction.
Behind her breastbone, her heart thudded painfully fast. If she was being honest with herself, she missed Dwayne more than she could let anyone know.
“How many times have you seen his cruiser pass the house today?” Luke asked.
She bit her lip and looked at the window. More than she could count, or rather, she stopped counting hours ago. “A few.”
Luke snorted softly. “And I’m the gingerbread man. A few…” He shook his head and stood, unfolding to all his six-foot-high glory. “Look, I’m not going to get in the middle of whatever is going on, but I will tell you this. You have been around us a whole lot longer than a few weeks. You know all of us as well as you know yourself. We love you like you’re a sister to us, and so when I say this, I’m saying it with the absolute conviction that because we’ve known each other so long, and I wanna think that love is mutual, it’s in the best interest of everyone involved.”
She sat up straight and held his gaze, not wanting to hear it, not wanting to have to focus on what she was sure he’d say, but unwilling to look away. The impending advice was coming and she couldn’t stop it.
“My brother isn’t the only idiot. You’re acting like one, too.”
She frowned and stood. “Luke—”
“No,” he interrupted. “Don’t. I don’t want to hear it. I’ve never seen two people dance around each other so much for so long. I’m surprised that a grown man who is highly successful in what he does, studies people for a living, and figures out why they do what they do could be so damn blind when it comes to how to voice what he feels. And you,” he continued. “You should have more faith in him—and yourself, for that matter.”
She sighed and opened her mouth, but he cut her off once more.
“Like I said, I really don’t want to get in the middle of what’s going on.” He rounded the coffee table that had been between them and grasped her arms. “I have to go.”
Yes, yes he did. But she didn’t want him to. She didn’t know if she was ready to face this alone. “Are you sure?”
Luke glanced over her shoulder and she saw what he did. A dark hall leading to where Hailey lay sleeping, recovering.
“I do. I need to get back to work
. It’s for the best. But know this, Brooke, you’re safe. You’ll always be in good hands, and if you need anything, call any one of us. We’re here for you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Tears stung her eyes, but she ruthlessly forced them back. She nodded. “I do. And I will.”
He offered her a smile, then swept her into his arms and gave a surprisingly strong hug. “Take care of yourself…and her,” he added almost as an afterthought.
She hugged him back. “I will. And Luke,” she called as he pulled away and headed for the door. He looked over his shoulder.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
His smile was less so, and he glanced at the dark hall again. “Anytime.”
He walked out into the cold, dark night and she stood there watching the door long after he was gone. She’d never felt so damn alone.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
One week later…
“Mom, I’m fine. Seriously, though, you need to get out of the house,” Hailey said with no hidden amount of exasperation.
Brooke hovered over Hailey, who sat on the couch, scrolling through the latest social media craze—she could never keep up with it—and fought the crazy impulse to check her again.
“I don’t know, honey.”
It’d been a week since they’d been home, a week of hell and nightmares, of sleeping next to her daughter only to wake up to the sounds of her screams, or to simply listen to the reassuring sound of Hailey breathing and living next to her.
She hovered, she got it. She had put the needs of her daughter ahead of everything else, as it should be. The aide the hospital assigned reassured her on a daily basis that Hailey was strong, that she would recover, that the time she’d been away hadn’t done too much damage on her young body.
Not too much damage…
But there had been some, and that ripped at Brooke. A mother was supposed to protect her child from it all, and every day was a reminder that she had failed.
Hailey huffed and looked up, lines straining around her mouth.
“Mom…seriously, Hilda is here.” She waved a hand toward the kitchen where the aide was fixing Hailey something to eat. The two of them had been on her all day, wanting her to get some fresh air, both claiming it would do her some good. Like she needed to be taken care of, too.
