“An invasion of prairie dogs?” said Sergeant Williams. “Who ever heard of such a thing? Let’s see the spiders top this. Tourists will travel thousands of light years to see this!”
Sergeant Williams read the personal note that came with the animals. ‘I hope you enjoy the buffalo. I sent the prairie dogs to test the Emperor’s sense of humor. They constantly chatter and give warning when approached. Sissy loves them. I hope New Colorado loves them, too. Sincerely, Texas Red.’
As the sun set, Sergeant Williams was happy to see a third Old Earth species was already doing nicely. The bushes were alight with the flashes of fireflies. This third project was Sergeant Williams’ idea. It gave him special satisfaction to bring this special gift from Tennessee to New Colorado.
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Chapter 16
According to the terms of the truce, the New Memphis Sheriff’s Office was to guarantee the physical well-being of all property on Casino Row, with the exception of the Riverfront Casino. That establishment was to be seized by Arthropodan marines as part of the forfeiture of all Saviano Juardo’s underworld assets.
Before evacuating my headquarters at the Riverfront, I emptied its vault of all cash and valuables. I personally supervised stashing the cash into my armored car, and drove it to the docks where the rest of the Legion armor was being evacuated onto barges. A trusted aide, Lieutenant Valerie Smith, escorted the loot downriver to New Phoenix. I had to stay on Casino Row with Legion light infantry and military police as part of a joint Legion and spider peacekeeping force.
Shuttles evacuated Major Lopez to New Gobi. He was still upset and not speaking to me, so it was just as well to keep him busy elsewhere. Maybe time would smooth things out between us. The spider general soon visited me, and I joined him for dinner to work out the final details of the truce.
“Where is all my money from the Riverfront Casino vault?” asked the spider general, as we ate dinner at the Music City High-Stake House. We both brought along heavily armed bodyguards. “You looted the casino!”
“Nonsense,” I replied. “Bandits must have struck during the fighting. I can’t be held responsible for everything that gets lost or stolen during the fog of war.”
“I want that money returned,” insisted the spider general. “I have satellite images of you and your legionnaires loading the cash onto Legion vehicles. I have a court order authorizing me to seize all of the assets from the Riverfront Casino as part of Jurardo’s forfeiture. If you have any respect for the rule of law, you will return the casino’s money immediately.”
“Have a Lifesaver,” I answered, handing the spider general a pack of the multi-colored candy. “It will make you feel better. I’ll even pay for dinner, since I’m feeling especially magnanimous tonight. I’m not returning any assets the Legion has safeguarded.”
“The Intelligentsia will seek your indictment,” threatened the spider general. “You cannot get away with this.”
“You should try some A-1 Steak Sauce on your meat,” I suggested. “It’s great. It really brings out the taste of grilled steak.”
“You’re right,” commented the spider general. “This is one of the finest meals I have ever had. But, don’t think for one second that this fine meal will soften my resolve to recover all of Juardo’s assets for the Empire.”
“Juardo and his cohorts are under Legion arrest in New Gobi City,” I said. “Will my facilitating their timely extradition bring closure to these unfounded and unsubstantiated accusations? Quick extradition is only a phone call away. If you wait for lawyers and politicians to get involved, it could take years.”
“You have a deal,” said the spider general. “You are right, and I don’t want to lose this war to blood-sucking lowlife lawyers.”
“Anyway, you can’t win, no matter what you do,” I commented. “You think you can beat America by putting binders on your citizens so they can’t see the United States? You think shutting down casinos and banning satellite TV and boycotting Walmart will stamp out American influence on your culture? Ha! Go ahead and try. America has the ace in the hole that you cannot ever beat. We have freedom. And here is the funny part. Here is the best-kept secret in the galaxy. I want you to succeed, because if the Arthropodan Empire ever frees its citizens to achieve their great potential, you will be stronger than ever. Until then, your best and brightest citizens will immigrate and join us!”
* * * * *
Guido escorted a handcuffed and chained Saviano Juardo and Eight Legs Roman across the MDL to waiting spider marines. The spider commander signed the extradition paperwork, thanked Guido for his promptness, and personally took the two fugitives back across the MDL. After a clerk made positive fingerprint and retina scan identification, the spider commander drew his pistol and shot both Juardo and Eight Legs in the head. Their bodies crumpled to the sidewalk. Juardo’s body was dragged to the American side and left bleeding on the sidewalk.
“You can have him back now,” said the spider commander. “Do whatever burial ceremonies your species conduct for the dead.”
“That paperwork you signed earlier guaranteed both fugitives a fair judicial review of their case and due process,” commented Guido. “You should not have shot them like that.”
“They were both tried in absentia, found guilty of murder, and sentenced to death,” replied the spider commander. “I just did my duty. What more is there to review?”
“Any kind of flimsy appearance of independent review would have looked better than this,” said Guido, motioning at Juardo’s blood pooling up beside the guard shack door. “Colonel Czerinski cut a lot of red tape to push this extradition through so quickly. This is not going to go over well in the court of public opinion.”
“What does the public have to do with my carrying out my duties and imposing justice?” asked the spider commander. “This is not a complicated matter.”
“For one thing, you will be on TV and database news,” said Guido, pointing to border crossing cameras at the checkpoint. “Phil Coen of Channel Five World News Tonight will be calling you soon for an explanation. It could get ugly.”
“You human pestilence are too squeamish and sensitive about those media idiots,” said the spider commander, dismissing Guido’s concern. “Public executions deter crime. Everyone knows that. What do I care of the media’s coverage, or your public opinion? The more public that sees retribution for the evil deeds committed by these thugs, the better.”
“You care enough about media attention to try to ban satellite TV,” observed Guido. “So don’t tell me you don’t care about the media and its effect on the public. You are just being selective in your arguments. Bad press has ended many careers. I don’t care about your career, but Colonel Czerinski and I gave those fugitives to you. It makes us look bad. It makes the Legion look bad. When the Legion looks bad, Czerinski is not happy. When Czerinski is not happy, everyone pays for it, including you and me.”
“Whatever,” commented the spider commander. “What is done is done.”
“You may say ‘whatever,’” warned Guido, “but this time shit will roll up hill and smash you flat.”
* * * * *
The spider commander and the spider Governor of the North Territory met in McDonald’s Restaurant to plan more anti-American operations for the new year. The governor did not want any more bad press, and had already chewed on the commander about that. They banned Christmas trees and Christmas lights for being energy wasters. The Arthropodan Empire had a longstanding tradition of freedom of religion, so they did not dare try to ban Christmas or any of the new religious cults that kept cropping up, despite their Old Earth origins. However, they did agree to arrest Seventh Day Adventists on sight if they kept going door to door, bothering citizens during nap time.
“Try the new Buffalo Burgers,” suggested the spider commander. “They’re quite tasty. You can get a medium chocolate shake and fries included cheap if you order Ronald’s Real Meal Deal.”
“You already have Buf
falo Burgers in New Gobi City?” asked the governor. “I am so jealous. Your town gets more cosmopolitan every time I visit. I heard New Memphis and Capital City won’t get Buffalo Burgers until next month because of a problem with the Teamsters Union.”
“Sir, would you like Swiss or American cheese on those burgers?” asked the teenaged spider clerk.
“See how the Americans try to sneak their culture into our food?” commented the spider governor. “I’ll have Swiss cheese. From this day forward, American cheese is banned!”
“Yes, sir,” replied the spider teen. “Ban American cheese? Are you fucking crazy?”
“He doesn’t know who your are,” advised the spider commander. “Please use restraint. He’s a nephew of my girlfriend. He’s really a good kid.”
“You show more respect!” ordered the spider governor, slamming a claw on the counter. “And those fries had better not be soggy or cold, like last time!”
“Whatever, dude,” replied the clerk.
The governor and commander went back to their table to eat. The governor was still upset at the disrespectful attitude of most youth today. He blamed the influence American music and pop culture.
“Satellite images show Legion activity in the far eastern hills of the New Gobi Desert,” advised the governor, changing the subject. “They are building a highway into the area. A gas station and even another McDonald’s are under construction. See how the tentacles of McDonald’s extend everywhere?”
“I have already sent scouts into the area,” replied the spider commander. “Legionnaires erected a large sign establishing the area as Jellystone National Park and Game Preserve. Also, they have been planting trees, no doubt to provide camouflage for some nefarious purpose. An elite American commando unit has been identified unloading mysterious crates and hiding them under tents and netting. I have an agent working on one of the construction crews. He reports a new Legion Headquarters has been built, disguised as a ski lodge.”
“Ski lodge!” exclaimed the spider governor. “It’s more of that skateboard and snowboard insanity. The Legion plans to lure our youth out to their ski lodge to brainwash them. Soon the human pestilence will be attempting to advertise their ski lodges. Ban all ski lodge advertising. We must stay diligent. The human pestilence never rests. Nor shall we!”
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Chapter 17
“More than ever, the growing human pestilence population under our control is demanding equal rights,” commented the spider military intelligence officer. “Either we grant equal rights, or they will demand independence.”
“They already have equal rights,” responded the spider commander. “All subjects of the Emperor enjoy the full benefits, privileges, and protection of the Empire. What more do they want? To be treated special?”
“The human pestilence are still denied entry into the Arthropodan military and especially the marines,” commented the military intelligence officer.
“Of course they are denied entry,” scoffed the spider commander. “Their loyalty and fighting abilities are in doubt. No human could ever hope to survive the rigors of marine basic training. It is nonsense to even consider allowing human pestilence into the military. You don’t let the inmates run the asylum!”
“Humans have defeated us in several wars and many battles,” argued the military intelligence officer. “It appears the quality of human soldiers measures up adequately with ours. Of course it is always possible the problem is that the enemy has better leadership. Are you suggesting that?”
“Human pestilence cannot be trusted, no matter how well some individuals may on occasion fight,” snapped the spider commander. “Do not be insolent. Our marines would refuse to serve alongside human pestilence in combat.”
“Our marines are trained to follow orders in combat,” said the military intelligence officer. “The Legion has no problem accepting our species into its ranks. Various militia are already integrated and have performed well many times in combat.”
“The Legion has a history of accepting criminals and misfits,” said the spider commander. “We will not lower our standards just to be trendy. And, the Militia rabble are nothing more than glorified volunteer firefighters, dogcatchers, and street sweepers. Do you really think the General Staff would allow marine standards to drop so low? It’s just not worth the risk.”
“It is already the law that all citizens are allowed and required to serve in the military,” explained the military intelligence officer. “Being that humans have been granted full citizenship, nothing should stop them from military service. But, the governor has deferred the matter to local commanders.”
“There you go!” said the spider commander. “I share the same security concerns as all the other local commanders. It is just common sense to not allow human pestilence infiltration of our military, and especially of our elite marine units.”
“Other commanders may agree with you, sir,” said the military intelligence officer. “But think of it. You could be the first. You could make a name for yourself by being the first commander to successfully lead human pestilence into combat. You might even be decorated by the Emperor himself.”
“Or executed by the Emperor himself when I am disgraced across the galaxy if your scheme crashes down upon me,” said the spider commander. “No! It is not worth the risk.”
“Just think of how upset Colonel Czerinski would be to see human Arthropodan marine commandos facing him across the MDL,” said the military intelligence officer. “It would be quite a coup. Think of the expression on Czerinski’s horrified face.”
“That I would like to see,” replied the spider commander, thoughtfully. “What goes around comes around. It would serve him right! I will do it. We will recruit human pestilence into the marines, but only the best of the best of the best. I won’t allow any slackers to be marines.
* * * * *
Phil Coen of Channel Five World News Tonight finally was permitted to interview the Supreme Commander of the New Gobi Desert Military Sector about the execution of Saviano Juardo. The interview was to take place at the New Gobi Arthropodan Airbase. Major Lopez and a squad of legionnaires escorted Coen to the press conference. Major Lopez wanted to be there strictly to observe. Many in the United States Galactic Federation were enraged at the summary execution of local businessman Juardo and wanted a full investigation of how and why he was extradited and executed without full due process of law. The spider Governor of the North Territory ordered his New Gobi commander to give the interview so that the media would stop pestering him on the matter and be done with it.
“Is that how the Empire treats its many human subjects?” asked Phil Coen, replaying the video of the execution of Saviano Juardo. “You just shoot them down on the street like dogs? No trial? No appeal? No judicial review or due process?”
“A spider conspirator was executed too,” responded the spider commander. “They were both tried in absentia because they had killed a guard when they escaped custody. They both got equal opportunity justice. What could be more fair than that? We do not discriminate against our human pestilence. I might add that the Legion deals just as harshly with the Mafia, too.”
Phil Coen was about to argue the fine points of due process and extradition procedures, and whether or not there really is a Mafia. But, then his jaw dropped. The unflappable Phil Coen was stunned into silence as he noticed one of the spider commander’s black uniformed bodyguards standing casually by the window. The marine commando was human!
“Who is that?” asked Coen, pointing at the young dark-haired commando. “You have humans serving in your Marine Corps?”
The spider commander smiled and tried to sound nonchalant. “Of course. My command has recruited the first of many elite human commandos.”
Coen walked up to the human Arthropodan marine. “Son, may I interview you?” asked Coen. “How did you come to be in the spider marines? Were you drafted or forced in?”
“No, I was not drafted!” replied the yo
ung marine. “I do not give interviews to Legion spies or their toadies.”
“It is all right,” interrupted the spider commander. “I order you to talk to Phil Coen of Channel Five World News Tonight. I trust Coen. You may talk freely.”
“Who are you?” asked Coen. “Where are you from?”
“My name is Robert Mora,” answered the young marine. “I am from right here in New Gobi City.”
“I have heard your name before,” said Coen, “but I don’t remember where.”
“I played quarterback for the North New Gobi High School Tarantulas,” boasted Mora. “I turned down several college scholarship offers to join the Arthropodan marines.”
“Why?” asked Coen. “It makes no sense.”
“I joined out of a sense of duty to the Emperor,” explained Mora. “And for adventure, travel, and fun.”
“Many would argue you are a traitor to humanity,” said Coen. “How do you respond to such critics?”
Mora drew his combat knife, but a spider team leader adeptly took the large jagged knife away.
“If you insult Marine Commando Mora again, I will cut you myself,” said the spider team leader. Then he turned back to Mora. “You were ordered by your commanding officer to give an interview to the press. Do it!”
“Yes, sir!”
“I apologize,” said Coen, a bit shaken. “How have you adjusted to what must be a severe culture clash in the Arthropodan marines? Do you feel fully accepted by the spider marines you serve with? Many will say this is just a publicity stunt and that you are being used for propaganda purposes.”
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