Chapter Twenty-One
Jane
I couldn’t breathe.
I just stood there gaping at him while he shakily told me the truth. Tears continued to stream down my face, but they weren’t for me. I was crying for the desolate look on Harry’s face, the regret in his tear-drenched eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I eventually managed to whisper.
“I can’t remember the last thing I said to her, but she walked out of our place in tears, and I will regret that for the rest of my life.” He closed the space between us, gripping my shoulders and beseeching me with a look I couldn’t turn away from. “I had to come find you because I can’t live with regret anymore. I have to cherish every moment I can. And even though it sometimes terrifies me, I need to be here with you, Jane. I need to love you. I know you don’t know how to do this. I know you’re scared, but please…let me stay.”
A breathy sob punched out of me as I grabbed his face and leaned my forehead against his nose. Closing my eyes, I focused on the feel of his hands gently gliding down to my waist, his warm breath on my skin, the sound of his sniff as he fought his own anguish.
“I want you to stay,” I finally whispered. “I need you to stay.”
His lips hit mine the second the words were out of my mouth. Lifting me off the floor, he held me against him while I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our kisses were loud with fervor as he walked us to the bed.
I knew we were about to make love, but this time somehow felt different. It wasn’t fun and flirty, fueled by lust. When I pulled the shirt over his head and ran my fingers down his body, I wasn’t thinking about the pleasure it would bring me. I just wanted to be connected to him. I wanted him inside me so we could be one. I wanted to feel his pain, to fuse us together in a way we never had been before.
Straddling his legs, I played with his curls while he unbuttoned my dress all the way until it opened like a shirt. Slipping it off my shoulders, he then unhooked my bra. It dropped off the edge of the bed, and I watched it fall as his lips came around my nipple.
I felt like I was falling too.
Diving into something deeper than I had before.
I should have been whispering “Geronimo” with a smile, but I couldn’t do anything more than close my eyes and kiss the top of his head as he sucked and licked my sensitive skin.
His lips traveled to my shoulder and I kissed his neck, my tears drying as I focused on pleasuring him.
We worked slowly, our movements languid like we were swimming in a deep pool. When he entered me, I didn’t let out a loud cry; I just squeezed his shoulder and continued staring into his eyes as I rode him.
He sat against the pillows, holding my hips and showing me things he never had before. His eyes told me how much he’d suffered, and I let him in on a little of my own. As the tears built on my lashes, I leaned forward to kiss him, wanting our lovemaking to wash it all away.
Our mouths trembled against each other and he held my face, steadying me as we built to climax. My hips began to move at a faster pace, my body taking over as an orgasm tore through me. I moaned into his mouth, and he pulled me down on top of him. I could feel him trying to leave a part of himself behind, and I suddenly wished he wasn’t wearing a condom.
The thought made me still.
Did I wish it?
As my heart simmered down to its usual rhythm, I sat back and gazed into Harry’s face. His smile was gentle, his eyes filled with a depth of love I hadn’t seen from him before.
In spite of this, fear still niggled, trying to break the spell we were under. After losing Blake I never thought I’d give so much of myself away…and so easily too.
But Harry made everything easy.
“Do you think we’re going to make it?” I whispered.
Harry opened his mouth to respond, but the music did it for him. I hadn’t even been aware it was still playing, but as his lips rose into a smile and he turned to look at the speaker in the kitchen, I stopped to listen to the song.
“Odds Are” by Barenaked Ladies.
It had been Blake’s favorite band when we were in college, and they’d grown on me over the years we were together.
The chorus kicked in, and we both stilled to listen. Harry’s eyes continued to glisten with affection as he ran his fingers down my face and smiled at me.
I let out a breathy laugh, the song being everything I needed to hear…and giving me the courage to whisper words I never thought I’d say to another man again.
“I love you.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Harry
Someone’s phone was ringing.
The buzz and ring breached my dreamlike daze, pulling me out of sleep. I groaned and rolled over, patting the nightstand and nearly dropping my phone on the floor. I slapped the hardware against the wood to stop it from falling and realized that it wasn’t my phone that was ringing.
I placed my phone back on the nightstand and rolled the other way.
Jane groaned softly, coming out of sleep herself as I reached over her and grabbed the offending phone. I wanted to switch the bloody thing off and throw it across the room, but I doubted Jane would appreciate it.
My eyes were too blurry to read the screen, but I swiped to answer anyway.
“I have no bloody idea what time of the morning it is, but I can tell you—whoever you are—that it’s too bloody early!”
The thought that it might be her mother suddenly occurred to me and I winced. I’d only met the woman a couple of times, and I couldn’t afford to tarnish the good impression I’d been making.
“I know, I’m sorry. Is Jane there?” The man’s voice was deep, American.
Jerking up, I snapped into the phone. “Who is this?”
Jane flicked on the light and squinted at me before grabbing her watch and looking at the time. “Are you kidding me? Who is that?”
“It’s Troy,” the man spoke into my ear. Jane had mentioned the name before—a work colleague. My insides settled to a simmer, but I still felt on edge. Why was a work colleague calling her in the early hours of the morning? “You must be Harry. I’m really sorry to call you this late, but it’s urgent. It’s about one of Jane’s students.”
His tone was ominous, making my gut clench. I’d experienced an ominous phone call before and it nearly killed me. I glanced at Jane then lowered my voice. “Is everything all right?”
“Look, I’m not sure. I hope it’s gonna be.”
“I’m not passing the phone over until I know what’s going on. I’m sure you can understand why.”
Troy sighed. “One of her students is missing. She took off sometime in the night, and her parents are freaking out. I’m just calling to see if Jane can help.”
“Is it Brandy?” I flicked the covers off my legs and jumped out of bed.
“What are you doing?” Jane’s voice rose with panic. I glanced at her wide green eyes and realized how alarming my sudden movements probably were. “Who are you talking to?”
Switching the phone onto speaker, I dropped it on the bed and started getting dressed.
“Her dad went to check on her before he went to bed at eleven, and her room was empty.”
Jane gasped. “Brandy?”
“Yeah, hi, Jane.” Troy’s voice sounded heavy and tired. “Can you give me any ideas?”
She scrambled out of bed and pulled a pair of sweatpants over her pajamas.
“I’m not sure. She seemed fine when I spoke to her at the end of the day.”
“Yeah, well, her world got thrown sideways when she got home from school.”
“Why?” Jane’s head popped out from her sweater while I started lacing my shoes.
“Her mom won the case. Looks like she’ll be moving to Chile soon.”
“Oh no,” Jane whispered. “Where have you looked so far?”
“The police and a team of volunteers are scouring the neighborhood. It’s been hours and we’re getting kind of desperate. I’ve searched the twenty-fo
ur eateries within a five-mile radius.”
“Have you tried the school?” Jane grabbed the phone off the bed and ran for her keys.
“It’s locked up tight. How would she even get in?”
“I don’t know, but that’s where I’m starting.”
“Okay. I’ll finish my drive through this part of town then head over there to join you.”
“Call me if anything changes.”
“Will do.”
Jane slipped the phone into her pocket then, with her hand on the door, spun back to look at me. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want.”
“Jane,” I softly chided. “Of course I’m coming with you.”
As she led the way to the car, I couldn’t help being surprised at the fact she’d even questioned my company. It was a crisis. As if I’d let her go off and deal with it alone.
My gut twisted as I thought ahead to the following week. I was due to fly back to England, and I didn’t have a definite date of return. I was planning to make it as soon as bloody possible after Nan’s birthday celebrations, but it wouldn’t be soon enough.
I didn’t want to leave Jane.
The thought of her living in her little apartment without me, dealing with three a.m. phone calls on her own…it near killed me.
I wanted to be with Jane not just for a holiday…or an elongated stay…but for life.
In the past that thought would have terrified me. Nothing was certain. My parents were supposed to be married for life, and Dad abandoned us all for five years. It was complete shit and the very reason I shied away from making any kind of commitment that could potentially hurt someone. I wasn’t about false claims.
That’s why I’d refused Tammy.
But I didn’t want to make the same mistakes again.
I wanted to be there for Jane, from the mundane grocery shopping to the convertible cruises to Malibu…to the ulcer-inducing stress of searching for a confused twelve-year-old kid who was no doubt scared out of her wits.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jane
We didn’t speak as we tore through the street. Traffic was light, making the trip to school a fast one. My insides were going nuts.
One of my students was missing.
Missing!
Thoughts of what kind of trouble she could have gotten into nearly blinded me as I ran a red then careened around the corner.
“It’s going to be okay.” Harry’s voice was so soft and calm.
“How do you know that!” I snapped. “You don’t!”
“You’re right.” He nodded, still frustratingly calm. “I don’t. I’m just trying to have a little faith.”’
I scoffed, shaking my head as I gripped the wheel.
“I know you’re scared,” he whispered. “I get it. We both know firsthand that life isn’t perfect, but I’m not going to torture myself by worrying about something that may not have happened yet.”
Sucking in a shaky breath, I started blinking at my tears.
“Brandy’s a smart kid. We have to trust that.”
“I just…” My voice wobbled. “I can’t do it again, you know?”
He knew what I was saying. I didn’t have the strength to survive another tragedy.
My trembling words shut him up, and he gripped my leg a little tighter.
My mind immediately jumped to Blake and the way I felt as I sat in my wedding dress, trying to wrap my head around the fact my groom was no longer on his way.
Stealing a quick glance at Harry’s pale face, I had to assume he was thinking about the girlfriend he’d lost. Neither of us had gone into details about our respective partners. I didn’t want to know about her, and he didn’t seem overly interested in learning about Blake.
We shared yet another thing in common—broken hearts. It made the desire to simply be happy together and enjoy each other that much stronger.
We’d spent a few moments whispering into the darkness, reliving how it felt when we first heard the news—his dreaded phone call, me listening to my mother’s quivering voice—but neither of us had delved further.
Jerking to a stop in the street, I switched off the engine and lurched out of the car. Harry took my hand and we ran to the school gate together.
Wrapping his hands around the metal, he looked up and muttered, “Climbable. Very climbable.”
My fingers were trembling as I unlocked the padlock with my key and pulled the gate open.
“Brandy!” Harry started calling the second we reached the main entrance.
Leading him around to the side door, I let us in and joined his call.
“Brandy! Are you in here?”
Our voices blended together as we raced down the hallways, checking each door. Most of them were locked, except for the bathrooms.
I took the girls’ while Harry checked the boys’. My sneakers squeaked on the white tiles as I checked each stall.
“Jane! Get in here!” Harry’s muffled shout made me flinch.
I nearly slipped as I raced out the door. Harry was waiting for me with the boys’ bathroom door wide open. I followed him down to the last stall and noticed the smashed glass all over the toilet. A few smears of blood painted the tank.
“Shit,” I murmured.
“She must have cut herself getting in.” Harry squeezed my shoulder. Maybe he could see the pulse throbbing in my neck. My heart was acting crazy, hammering with fear as I stared at the blood. “But it means she’s probably here.”
It took me a second to register his words. I glanced up at his hopeful smile, my head bobbing erratically. “Let’s go.”
“Brandy!” we yelled together, taking a side of the hall each and trying every single doorknob. I called Troy, and he assured me he’d make all the right phone calls while Harry and I continued to look.
“Every bloody door’s locked!” Harry’s face bunched with desperation.
“The janitor’s coming with his set of keys.”
“I know. I’d just like to find her before she’s swamped by a truckload of people fussing over her. Most people naturally go into hiding when they’re dealing with bad news. I’m guessing she’s no different.”
I remembered the way I’d shrunk in on myself when Blake first died. So many people had tried to be there for me, and I’d shut them out in my systematic, robotic way.
“Let’s keep looking.” I took his hand, leading him down the next hallway.
We reached my classroom and I tried the handle, but the door was locked. I was about to run away from it but jerked to a stop.
“You okay?” Harry turned back when my hand slipped out of his.
“I have a key. I can at least check this room.” Fumbling my key chain, I struggled to shove the correct key into the lock.
“Just take a breath, love.”
I closed my eyes and did as Harry told me, sliding the key into the lock and pushing my door open. It creaked, sounding ominous in the dark hours of the morning.
Flicking on my light, I squinted against the sudden brightness and stepped into the room.
“Brandy? Are you in here?” My voice was flat.
I guess I expected nothing in response.
But then I heard a faint sniff.
Harry and I both flinched still, our heads snapping toward my desk. It was only then that I noticed my chair was pushed out further than it usually would be.
“Brandy? It’s Harry.” He slowly approached the front of the classroom.
Her only response was a slight rustling of clothing and another sniff.
Pulling the chair away, Harry crouched down, the gentle smile on his face enough to make me certain I was in love with him.
“Hey, runaway,” he whispered.
Brandy let out a little whimper, and her sniffs turned into pitiful cries. I rushed around the side of the desk, kneeling down as Harry gently pulled her out of hiding.
She wrapped her skinny arms around his neck and hung on tight while he rubbed her back and shushed her.
I placed my hand next to his, stroking her shoulder as she cried against him.
There were scratches on her forearms, nothing too deep. She’d need patching up, but nothing a Band-Aid and cuddle couldn’t cure. Relief swirled through me, and I slumped to the floor.
Brandy pulled out of Harry’s embrace to look at me. Her sad brown eyes were so large and uncertain.
“You scared me.” I tried to smile at her. “I thought we’d lost you for good. Why’d you run?”
Troy had told me, but I wanted to hear her version.
“I’m moving to Chile.” Her voice wobbled, and she sucked in a ragged breath. “Dad’s so upset,” she hiccupped. “He was yelling at Mom and crying. I’ve never seen him cry before. I don’t know what to do. I have to go with her, but how do I leave him?”
Harry gave me a pained frown, his eyes glassing over as he blinked and rocked her on his knee.
“I know it sucks,” he finally managed. “I wish I could say something amazing to make this all better.”
She sniffed and cried some more while I texted Troy to let him know we’d found her.
We heard him running down the hall a few minutes later. His entire body sagged with relief when he spotted us on the floor by my desk.
“Thank you, God,” he breathed, then walked across to us.
Brandy sucked in a breath and looked up at him, a fresh wave of tears filling her eyes.
“I’m sorry, B,” Troy murmured.
She nodded, her blotchy face crumpling as she rested her head against Harry’s shoulder again. “I know running was dumb, but I just couldn’t listen to him crying anymore. Why should she get me when he’s not allowed to? I just figured it’d be more fair if they both went without me.”
“I know.” Troy’s voice, although deep, was always so soft and reassuring. “You shouldn’t even have to be in this position. Life’s not fair.”
“I don’t want to go! And I don’t want to stay! I just… I want to be a family again!”
“That’s not going to happen. You know that.” The look on Troy’s face told me they’d had this chat before. “But you’ve got two parents who are going out of their minds with worry right now, which tells me that you’ve got two parents who really love you. And even though they can’t be together anymore, it doesn’t change how they feel about you.”
Geronimo (A Songbird Novel) Page 12
