“Sounds like they need you,” I added.
Brandy’s gaze hit mine, and I gave her an understanding smile. Her response was a slightly surly lip curl.
“Before you say, what do you know about it, I can assure you that I do know about it. I know what it feels like to say goodbye to someone you’re not ready to leave. But you have some pretty awesome things going for you. Skype, FaceTime, WhatsApp. There are so many cool ways to keep in touch with your dad, and I’m sure he’s already working out when he can come down and visit.”
“It’s not the same,” she grumbled.
“I know,” I croaked, catching Harry’s eye and getting a taste of what he was thinking.
That’d be us soon. It was better than nothing, but it wouldn’t be the same as having him in my bed each night.
Dammit. I was gonna miss him so bad.
That thought paired with Brandy’s anguish made tears pop onto my lashes. I tried to blink them away, but it didn’t work. Tears trickled down my face as I gave Harry a sorrowful smile. His expression mirrored mine, but we kept it all in.
That moment wasn’t about our impending separation. It was about Brandy.
Sniffing at my egotistical tears, I swiped them off my face and stood. “Come on, your parents will be waiting.”
Scooping her up, Harry stood and cradled her in his arms. She held tight to his neck as we walked to the front of the school. The second we reached the doors, her mother appeared, slamming out of her car and running across to rip Brandy from Harry’s grasp.
“My baby. You had me worried sick,” she sobbed and clung to her daughter. Brandy’s father appeared out of the darkness, his face smeared with tears as he gripped his mouth and watched his daughter and ex-wife embrace. His expression was a blend of relief and dismay. He’d found his baby girl but had to prepare himself to say goodbye for real.
Gliding his arm across my shoulders, Harry pulled me against him and kissed the top of my head. I snuggled into him, cherishing his touch. In a few short days I wouldn’t have it anymore.
And I didn’t know how I was going to live without it.
Just like Brandy’s father, I wasn’t sure how I was going to prepare myself to say goodbye for real.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Harry
I couldn’t believe how quickly six weeks had passed. When I’d first touched down in LA, I wasn’t sure how long I’d be there.
But Jane had invited me in, and it’d been the best time I’d had.
Living with her was easy.
Being part of her life felt incredibly natural, and I couldn’t believe I was just walking away from that.
Nan was important to me though. I had a life in England, and I couldn’t pretend it didn’t exist.
Jane held my hand as we walked to the security checkpoint. Her jaw trembled slightly when she clenched it, and I swear my heart was about to start bleeding.
“You sure you don’t want to come with me?” I tried again.
She snickered then sniffed. “You know I can’t. My next break isn’t until Thanksgiving…and you’ll be back before then, right?”
“Of course. I’ll save as hard and as fast as I can. I’ve already taken on a couple of extra clients. It won’t be long.” I tried to give her an encouraging smile, but that wouldn’t change the fact that even if I did come back, I’d be on limited time.
Goodbyes were inevitable in our future together.
Unless…
My throat thickened with emotion, making it hard to swallow…nearly impossible to get the words out. I gazed down at her beautiful face, smiling at the sprinkling of freckles on her pale skin, loving the curve of her cheek and the intensity of her emerald stare.
Yes, I could do it.
I could say it…and I could mean it.
My voice came out in a husky whisper as I said the words I’d always feared. “Marry me.”
Her eyes rounded as I pulled her against me and threaded my fingers behind her back. “What?”
“I don’t want to have to keep leaving you. This time’s hard enough. It’ll be even worse next time because I’ll have to stay away for longer.” I shone her a hopeful smile. “And Georjana Tindal has a wonderful ring to it, don’t you think?”
Her laughter was made breathy with surprise. “Harry, I…” She shook her head and bit her lip.
“You know you want to.”
I probably sounded like such a desperate idiot, but I knew she loved me.
The sad smile on her face made my heart twist out of shape.
“Harry,” she whispered, dipping her head and breaking eye contact. Resting her forehead against my shoulder she tried to break my heart. “I can’t get married again. I can’t do that whole wedding planning thing and the anticipation and then the…” She stopped breathing, holding on to the things she was too afraid to say.
I nudged her cheek with my nose. “We don’t have to plan a wedding. Let’s just elope to some island and do it. Or better yet, go to a courthouse.”
“How romantic.” Her droll expression made me grin.
“We don’t need a big wedding. You and me together, that is romance. We’re meant to be.”
My words were weakening her, I could tell by her wobbly smile and the way she struggled to refute me. Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but she shook her head again. “Are you just doing this to get a green card?”
I laughed and kissed her lips. Leaning back, I brushed her hair behind her ear and made sure she was looking into my eyes. “I’m doing this because I love you. Say yes, Jane.”
Her erratic breath hit my chin and she bruised my heart with a pained smile. “I…don’t know.”
Refusing to let her hesitation bring me down, I held the back of her head and kissed her with everything I had. I poured my heart into the moment, desperate for her to know how much I meant it.
Out of breath, I pulled back and gazed down at her. “Did that help persuade you at all?”
Her red lips smiled, and her eyes glassed with tears as she chuckled. “Nearly.”
I couldn’t leave her crying, so I kept the moment as light as I could. “Okay, fine. You don’t have to say yes.” Reluctantly letting her go, I stood back and pointed at her. “But if you miss me, if you yearn for me in your bed, then I’m expecting a yes next time I see you.”
She laughed. “Well, I might as well just say yes right now, because I know I’m going to miss you.” Grabbing my collar, she yanked me back for a kiss.
Our tongues danced together, a last passionate tango to see us through until the next time.
Pressing her forehead against mine, she whispered against my lips, “And I know I’m going to yearn for you in my bed.”
Her words made me warm all the way to my toes. Touching her cheek, I gazed into those stunning green eyes and went for the honest truth. “I don’t want to force you into a yes, and I know I’ll be sharing your heart, just like you’re sharing mine…but I’ve got space for you, darling. And I don’t want to regret not asking.”
The leaving her not crying thing was going to be impossible. Tears welled so high in her eyes they spilled over her lashes, but the affectionate joy in her gaze gave me the courage to leave her.
Stopping at the checkpoint, I spun one last time and blew her a kiss.
“I love you,” I mouthed, and placed my hand on my heart.
She mirrored me and mouthed, “I love you too.”
Staring at her for a second longer, I memorized everything I could before turning away and taking her with me in my heart.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jane
Breathing on the way back to my apartment was a struggle. I couldn’t move past Harry’s proposal.
Marriage.
It felt so big…and yet the idea of being with him was so incredibly natural.
I should have said yes on the spot, but…
Fear twisted through me, eating at my insides until I pulled my car into its parking spot and
was swamped with a depressing wave of loneliness.
For the last six weeks, every time I walked up the steps and into my apartment Harry was either beside me or there when I opened the door.
The apartment would be so quiet without him. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to living alone. I’d moved out because living with my parents got to be too much after the funeral, but I never liked it.
“So why can’t you say yes, you big idiot!” Resting my forehead on the steering wheel, I let out a frustrated scream.
I needed logic to kick in and tell me every reason I shouldn’t marry a man I’d known for less than three months. It would be completely crazy. I hadn’t met any of his family yet. He’d met my parents a few times, but in spite of my mother’s subtle probing, I was still too afraid to admit how much I loved him. Sarah and Justin had been the only ones we let in, and although Justin remained slightly aloof, we’d had some great meals together.
Harry was pretty charming and hard to resist.
But…
Slamming out of my car, I stormed up the stairs and into my apartment. The door shook as I smacked it closed behind me. I kind of wanted that to feel better, but it didn’t. Spinning around, I faced my empty apartment and screamed.
Because it wasn’t empty.
Sarah’s smile was tender with understanding as she pushed the dining chair out beside her and pointed at it. “Sit down. Let’s drink tea.”
“I’d rather drink vodka shots,” I grumbled, dumping my bag on the corner of the table and slumping into my seat.
Sarah got up to retrieve the kettle and poured boiling water over my waiting teabag.
Placing the mug in front of me, she gave my shoulder a little rub. “You knew it was going to be a tough day. Saying goodbye always sucks, especially when you don’t have a return date to look forward to.”
I dunked my teabag up and down, focusing on the rhythmic motion while I worked up the courage to confess, “He asked me to marry him.”
“What!” Sarah’s blue eyes bulged as she banged her teacup back on the table. Liquid jumped out, splashing my legs and making me yelp. “Sorry! Sorry.” She rushed over to the sink, grabbing a cloth and quickly returning to clean up.
Patting my leg dry, she then wiped the table while verbally gushing. “Oh my gosh, that’s so amazing.”
“You’re happier about it than I am!”
Sarah looked at me with a bemused frown. “Why aren’t you happy?”
“Because it’s totally insane! He’s been in my life for like a second.”
“So?”
I gave her a pointed look. “Sarah, come on. You don’t rush into these things. I can’t just impulsively marry this man.”
“But you guys are so great together. You make it look so easy and natural, like you’ve known each other for years. Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to be like?”
“It’s not…” I shook my head, scrambling to argue with her. Her points were really good. Being with Harry was as easy as breathing.
Sarah’s eyes sparkled while she studied me. “I like him, Janey.”
“You like everybody,” I muttered.
She chuckled and placed her hand on my arm. “No, I really like him. And more importantly, I like you when you’re around him.”
I went still, slowly looking up to meet her gaze.
“He brings out the best in you.”
“You used to say that about Blake.”
Sarah shrugged and picked up her tea. “He did too. That doesn’t mean Harry can’t as well.”
My shoulders drooped and I slumped back into my chair. “I always thought Blake was my soul mate. How is it possible to fall in love with someone else? What would he think of all this?”
“Sweetie.” Sarah placed her mug down and leaned across the table, squeezing my hand. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but Blake’s not here. He may live on in our hearts, but he will never physically be here again.”
I closed my eyes, absorbing her words. They felt harsh in spite of the fact they were said with such compassion.
“Harry is here…and he wants you. He makes you happy. And I know you’ll always love Blake, but he doesn’t get to have an opinion on this one. You need to live for you now. Wasn’t that the whole point of going overseas, to figure out how to get by without him? Well, life figured it out for you.”
“I just…don’t know.” My last two words came out in a squeak, fear cutting off my air supply.
“Okay.” Sarah sat back, her eyes narrowing as she studied my face. “What’s making you hesitate?”
I shook my head, words failing me as I tried to answer the question. I opened my mouth then clenched my jaw. Squeezing my eyes shut, I took a breath before blurting, “What if something goes wrong? What if he starts to hate me or he starts to drive me insane! What if something comes between us?” I opened my eyes and let her see the root of my doubts. “What if he dies?”
Sarah’s eyes started to mist, matching my anguished look.
“When Blake and I were together, it didn’t even occur to me that something bad would happen. I was so full of hope, but now I know… I know what loss feels like, and I can’t go through it again.”
Swiping the tear off her face, Sarah sniffed and sat up straight. “I know it nearly killed you. It nearly killed Justin and me as well, but you have to listen to me. You cannot deprive yourself of joy for the rest of your life because you’re scared you might lose it. What if you don’t? What if you and Harry live to be one hundred and you die in a warm bed together?”
“The chances of that happening are so incredibly low.”
“So are the chances of you losing him on your wedding day.”
I looked away from Sarah’s conviction, not sure I was brave enough to believe it.
“What happened to you is awful and thankfully rare. Do you honestly think you’d have to live through it twice?”
“Good people have horrible things happen to them all the time.”
“Yes.” She nodded. “But they also have good things happen to them. Life will only beat you down if you let it. You had the love of your life ripped away from you, and you’d convinced yourself you’d never love again. And then Harry came along. He makes you so happy. You have laughed more with him than you’ve ever laughed with anybody…even Blake.”
My eyes snapped up to connect with hers. Anger sparked through me as I tried to deny it, but I couldn’t. Harry did make me laugh. He was funny and charming, and I loved being with him.
Wrapping my fingers around my mug, I took a quick sip. Logic had kicked in just the way I wanted it to, but it was telling me the most unexpected thing. It was filling my brain with all the reasons I should be saying yes. Shouting it from the rooftops even.
A smile tugged at the edge of Sarah’s mouth while she watched me. I flicked my eyes to hers, and she jumped out of her chair. “Yes! Yes! This is so exciting!”
I looked at my watch, breaths punching out of me as I tried to calculate what time Harry’s flight left and when I’d be able to call him.
“So, his flight is about ten hours, which means he’ll land…when? What time will it be if I call?”
With a jerk, Sarah stopped happy dancing and pointed at me. “Oh, you are so not saying yes over the phone.”
“Well, how else am I supposed to do it?”
With a glinting smile, she leaned down, resting her hand on the table and getting right in my face. “In person, of course.”
“I can’t get out of work.”
Sarah sighed, and pursed her lips. “Wait!” She snapped her fingers. “It’s Columbus Day next week. If you could get out of school early on Friday, I could drive you to the airport to catch an afternoon flight. You’ll arrive in London the next day, go to Rye, say yes, meet his family, make love all night, then he’ll take you back to London and you’ll be home in time for school on Tuesday.”
“You are a crazy person.” I gave her a pointed look.
Her tongu
e stuck out the side of her mouth, her smile all-knowing. “I thought crazy was your thing these days.”
It was her wriggling eyebrows that did it.
They forced a smile over my lips, and then a squeal popped out of my mouth. Before I knew it, I was happy dancing behind her back while she called the airline and arranged it all for me.
Crazy.
Totally crazy.
And I’d never been so happy and terrified in my entire life.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Harry
“Would you smile? You’re making me want to slit my throat.” Renee threw her coaster at me. It pinged off my nose and dropped to the table.
I gave my sister a dark scowl and rubbed the sore spot.
“Don’t look at me like that. I finally get an afternoon off and I choose to spend that precious, kid-free time at the pub with my hilarious brother and you’ve yet to make one joke. Not even a funny quip when Travis Newhart walked past in leather pants.” She leaned over the table, her eyebrows raised. “Leather pants on a sixty-year-old.”
She stared at me expectantly, and I forced a half smile.
“Oh, you’re pathetic.”
“Sorry,” I groaned. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”
She let out a loud, cynical laugh, drawing a few eyes to our table. “A lot? No, you have one thing on your mind.”
“Why won’t she return my calls? It’s been nearly two days.”
“Harry, come on. Maybe something’s happened to her phone—dead battery, dropped it down the loo, I don’t know. But you can’t get this depressed again. I won’t have it.” Her eyes flickered with concern as she reached across and squeezed my arm. “You nearly destroyed yourself last time. I can’t see you go through it twice.”
I gave her a glum smile. “I never wanted to fall in love again, but with Jane it’s been the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I should never have asked her to marry me. I scared her off.” I huffed, picking up Renee’s coaster and fidgeting with the edge. “Ironic, isn’t it? I lost Tammy because I wouldn’t ask, and now I’m losing Jane because I did!”
Geronimo (A Songbird Novel) Page 13
