by Nicole Snow
How about forever, jackass? I can't do more than think it.
I'm too tired to fight more, much less scream. My brother holds me, rubbing my back, doing his damnedest to calm me down.
Mom appears at his side a second later. She's whispering in my ear, squeezing my other shoulder, telling me what a monster Ryan is for coming back to this town after all these years to play with me. He thought he could get away with his lies, as if he wouldn't get caught. He was wrong, she says.
Wrong. The same bitter word, echoing in my ears. False by its own definition.
How can they be so blind? They don't even know they've made a deal with the devil.
I have to fight my way out of my family's consoling grip to face the asshole who's turning his back on me, hiding a faint smile. “We're going to bring you down! If I have to testify myself against you, bankrupt every business with your family's name on it, God help me, I will. You're a fucking monster, Reg.”
“Honey, please.” Mom's hold tightens. “Matthew, get her to the car. We'll call him later.”
They're murdering me. Driving every knife I've always feared in deep, bleeding me out as they pull me away and push me into Matt's big truck. It's their fault this is happening, and they don't even know it.
Little Holden isn't even waiting in the truck to soften the blow. Probably a good thing, since I wouldn't want my nephew seeing me like this.
I lay against the seat and cover my eyes. The soft yellow sun that seemed so nice when we first stepped off the plane blinds me now.
There's a million questions gouging me inside. A million and one things I want to do to set him free, and make my soulless ex pay for ruining my life a second time.
But I can't think of anything coherent. The thing I see when I close my eyes – the only thing – is Ryan's tormented face behind the tinted glass.
Betrayed, tortured, but still dead set on keeping me out of his mess.
I don't say anything for several hours. Mom guides me to my old room, now one they only use for guests. Matt sits outside it in the kitchen, playing guard dog, while I hear her make several calls across town.
She's talking to the police, giving them some kind of statement. It doesn't bother me until her voice fades out later. She's whispering in her lowest tone, talking to the man who lied, cheated, and ripped me away from the one I really wanted.
Reg, I'm going to kill you, I vow, folding my hands.
Actually, I don't want his blood anywhere on my hands. I don't even want to look at him again, but not half as much as I just want to end him. I'll settle for getting Ryan free, running his twisted family out of this town, and never having to see his manipulative face again.
“Sis, you need anything?” Matt knocks gently on the door. “Water? Sandwich? We want to bring you out to talk to us shortly. It's time to clear the air.”
He's on guard, but he's talking to me like a brother again, rather than a soldier barking orders. The knot in my stomach doubles when I think about him believing he's doing the right thing. Both of them. They believe they're saving me from a murderer, a liar, and they're completely clueless about the real ones hiding in plain sight.
“I'm ready,” I say weakly through the door.
I open it a second later, and my big brother lays his hand on my shoulder, guiding me down the hall to our old kitchen. The table used to be so full and happy. It's the same one we sat at with daddy and Ryan in the old days, before the hate and the lies, before I had the world ripped out under me several times over.
It's a miracle there's anything left of my mind to sit down with them today. I don't know how I can bring them around, make them believe Reg cheated, lied, and it's the dead Drayton patriarch who's responsible for everything bad.
I don't have a clue, but I have to try.
“Honey, before we say anything, I want you to know we're not here to put you on trial. We've seen firsthand how much he hurt you over the years, how hard it was for you to believe the truth about him leaving. You didn't do anything wrong. He came to you when you were weak, pretending to be someone new. We don't blame you for thinking he was more than a murderer, or the man who broke your heart.” She reaches across the table, grabbing my hand. “Look, it hurts us, too. We hate having to relive everything, him putting our family through this all over again.”
“Ryan deserves to be locked the fuck up, and I'm going to make it happen,” Matt growls next to me, banging his fist on the table.
Mom flashes him a disapproving look. “It took us several days to tie it all together after your brother saw him with you that night. Honestly, it's insane that he's built this wealth and fame, after everything he's done. When we realized who Tanner really was, and knew you were missing...we called the sheriff's office last night. Told him everything we knew. I think there's a lot more we can offer, several missing pieces we got from Reg, but we want to hear the rest from you. We want your side of what happened, Kara.”
Bull. They're both going to hate the truth, and start to hate me for denying what they think he really is.
I've had enough with words. They haven't done anything to protect me, push Reg away, or banish the endless nightmare Ryan and me tried so hard to run away from.
They're staring when I pull out my phone. I'd almost forgotten I asked him to send me the pictures halfway through our Seattle trip, when we were knocking around ideas to fix this.
Thankfully, I didn't.
“You should both take a look at this, and tell me what you see.” I slide the phone across as soon as I pull it up.
Mom's eyes go huge and dark when she sees the screen.
Showing my own family the disgusting pictures of my ex in those compromising positions with his little mistress is the last thing I want. But it's the last, best option that might make them believe there's more to this than they think.
“Is that...Jesus.” She can't even say the name. She's looking at Amy, the double crossing bitch of a wedding planner, strapped to the chair half-naked. She flips forward. When she sees King Asshole, Reg himself, she gasps, dropping the phone against the table's surface with a clatter.
Matt doesn't wait for her to pass the phone. He reaches out, snatches it, and eyeballs everything. Hatred, then confusion, fills his eyes.
“No fucking way,” he whispers, turning it over and slamming it down a moment later. “Where did these come from?”
“Ryan. He caught them cheating himself, at a hotel in Marquette. I wasn't sure either, until I saw the pictures.” I give Matt a sharp look. “These aren't staged. Yes, he burst in and roughed them up a little. Reg deserved it after everything he did to me. I don't feel bad for him, and I never will. Now that you've seen the truth...are you still going to call me crazy? Pretend I'm just 'brainwashed' by a man I'll never get over?”
Matt hardens his look, and swallows something heavy in his throat. “Sis, you and Reg have got serious problems, and it's not all bullshit. I'll give you that. Still doesn't let him off the hook for everything else.”
“No, it doesn't. And he explained to me exactly what happened that night.” Their eyes glue to me, waiting for my story. “He didn't kill Nelson Drayton. Not by himself, anyway...”
I spend the next ten minutes recounting Ryan's story as best I can. It probably doesn't have the emotional impact, or all the details, because I feel like I'm about to melt into a puddle.
I hate having to face them like this, explain how daddy forced himself into something so heinous because he had no choice. He thought he was protecting me, protecting us, even protecting Ryan.
Ryan didn't have a choice either. That's the point I keep trying to make, when I tell them how Nelson backed him into a corner, demanded he turn over those disgusting pictures he found, threatened to bring down our family.
“You know that happened anyway,” Matt says, shaking his head in disbelief. “You've bought into a sick goddamned joke, Kara. He'll say anything to have you back, make you think he's really on your side. Dad told me he burned a bunc
h of rough nudie magazines he found shortly after stumbling over Nelson's body. Said he thought Ryan left them out, and Nelson stumbled across them. Probably threatened his job since the man was a total prude. Dad threw the evidence on the fire because he didn't want the police coming after the other employees, thinking they had a beef with the old man.”
“Jesus, Matt, can't you see he lied?” Tears come hot and merciless when I say it, slapping my hands against the table. There's no worse truth than knowing what a liar daddy was. “He lied to us all. And he didn't have a choice, not when he knew better than anybody how much the Draytons own this town. He didn't burn any magazines. You're insane if you think Ryan killed a man over finding his porn stash. Ryan found Nelson's dirt, and there's no way on earth that man was any kind of prude. Drayton wanted to hide it. They're good at that, burying their secrets, and then threatening anyone who gets in their way.”
I'm still fuming over Reg kicking me straight in the ass one more time. The look he gave me as my family dragged me away, smug and self-assured...it was gotcha personified. He fed them a story about how he loved me, wanted to bring me back to my senses, knowing they'd find out the truth.
He used them, abused their trust, thinking he'd just walk away quietly after his humiliation.
Matt shakes his head again, grumbling to himself. “Look, sis, you convinced me on Reg because you've got evidence. Ryan...that's another story. Unless you've got something proving what you said, it's your word against dad's.”
My brother looks at me, hurt swelling in his expression. “Dad wasn't in love with the fuck who left you out in the cold for half a decade. He saw Ryan as he really was, the orphan kid, knew he had problems none of us saw before they hit us in the face. You aren't telling me anything different, unless you're going to magically dig up whatever got burned in the fire pit.”
Sighing, I pick up my phone. I flip through my gallery again, and come to the snapshot I took of the rumpled page Ryan showed me last week, the one with the names and contacts.
“There's a man on there, Edgar Wollenshem. Look him up. You'll find out he's already doing time for getting busted in the sex trade. The others, I don't know, but I believe they're traceable. Ryan certainly did. He's been waiting years to go after them, whatever it takes to clear his name, and bring the Draytons down.”
Matt's face twitches. He averts his eyes, looking away from the image I'm pushing in his face. “Wishful thinking, Kara. He could've done the research and typed this list up himself. Doesn't prove a damned thing. Hell, I've been in rooms with men overseas who've always got the best excuses in the world for killing our troops, plus men, women, and children in cold blood. They're never responsible for the bombings – oh, no. It's always some neighbor, the merchant down the street from a rival clan, anyone they think they can frame and pin the fucking blame on.”
“Matthew...” Mom speaks up, eerily quiet up until now. “You can't write it off that easy.”
We both do a slow turn, fixing our gaze on her.
“Why?” My brother rumbles.
“Because I lied.” Her lips twist like she's bitten into something bitter. “Bart told me he helped Ryan escape. It was about the time he was diagnosed, when he came home from the hospital that cold, snowy winter.”
She pauses, closing her eyes. “He knew his outlook wasn't good. There was something on his chest. One night we stayed up late, drinking cherry wine, talking about the old times, good and bad. We were laughing, remembering how big and beautiful our family used to be, before the ugliness with Ryan. He got real quiet, teared up a little, and looked at me, said he had something important to say.”
Something dark, thick, and angry wells up inside me. I want to believe she's lying, missing details, or didn't have the whole truth from dad.
Because if both my parents knew, all these years...
My hands form fists on my lap, tightening as we listen to her talk. “Kara, it's my fault. Not his. He made me promise on his life not to say anything. What he burned in that pit wasn't ordinary porn. It was everything you said...dark, demented, evil stuff that shouldn't have ever see the light of day. He talked about how he found Ryan passed out, Nelson struggling to his feet, a horrible wound on his head...he did what he had to. He put a sick, wretched man out of his misery. And then yes, Jesus, he helped our Ryan escape.”
I'm going to be sick. I'm about to heave up what little is left in my stomach from a whole day not eating, but not before I stand up, gripping the back of my chair, and look her in the eye. “Why, mom...why the fuck did you lie?”
A single, painful tear rolls down her cheek. “He told me there wasn't any way to bring the boy back, and frankly, I agreed. I understood the danger, imagined the ways it would ruin our family, worse than it already has, messing with the Draytons. I swore I'd protect you from Ryan Caspian, honey, and that's all I've tried to do, even today. It hurt to turn him in. I didn't know about the cheating. I wanted to believe Reg was different, good for you, that you'd moved on with your life and wanted to marry him. He told me how Ryan burst in, beat him up, said he should never, ever come near you again. Honey, he cried...”
Fire scorches my veins, imagining how the manipulative piece of shit I almost married twisted the knife deep in all our backs.
“And you listened to his tears? The same ones from a man whose family fortune should be going straight to his Great Uncle's victims?”
“I-I'm sorry. I thought he was better. I thought maybe your father was wrong, that Ryan was bad for you, too damaged by everything that happened. Reg was going to be the one to make you happy.” She looks down, crushed. I can practically see the gaping hole ripped in her by the truth – all of it. “I just wanted to protect you. Never wanted to see you ruining this family, or ruining yourself a second time, chasing after a man who's always going to be a walking target. They'll put him away for good when they find out. It breaks my heart, falling for Reg's story, knowing that poor young man is going to jail.”
I hear the pain in her voice, but I don't have any sympathy. “He's a billionaire, mom. Richer than the Draytons, probably. He can fight fire with fire. We came home to clear his name, for Christ's sake, and now you've both ruined it. All because you had to listen to that lying prick.”
My hands go up in the air and blood hits my temples. I can't do this anymore. I'm heading for the closest door, ignoring mom's breakdown, her wails echoing through the whole house.
“Kara!” Matt yells after me. I don't stop, refusing to look at him when I'm out on the driveway, calling a co-worker for a ride.
I'm heading back to my condo, and then I'm going straight to the sheriff's office. He'll probably lock me up on orders from Reg's family, or have me committed to a psyche ward, but I don't care.
It's not going down this way. I won't let it end like this.
Matt grabs me by the shoulder. I spin so fast I drop my phone. My palm doesn't stop, heading straight for his face. I hit him at least three times as hard as I can before my brain starts working again, and I stumble back, hating every blinding second of this.
My brother's hand reaches up, touching the burn on his cheek. No, he doesn't deserve this, he's just trying to help.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” I whimper, folding my arms around myself, turning my back.
“Sis...I deserved it. Didn't listen. I got taken for a ride by that piece of shit when I really shouldn't have, just like mom.” He shuffles up behind me, standing so he blocks the wind nipping at my back. “I owe you an apology. Everything you said sounded crazy. I never thought in a million years dad would lie to me, lie to all of us, and mom would back him up.”
“Yeah, well...now you get how I feel. But you'll never understand it, not if you try till Holden's half-grown.” I look down, kicking a stray rock across the pavement. It helps me fight the urge to burst into tears. “You put him away, Matt. You didn't mean to, but you did. You, mom, and Reg's fucking lies.”
“I don't need to understand,” he says, laying
a hand on my shoulder. “Before everything went to shit, I cared about Ryan. He was my best friend. Still might be, knowing what really went down, or near enough. We're going to get him out of there.”
I refuse to look at him until he nudges my arm, turning me around. After everything that's happened, it seems impossible that I'd ever get a friend in this fight.
“This isn't your fight. Mom and dad weren't exaggerating about the danger we're putting ourselves in, even if they were wrong with how they handled it. I can't let them come down on you and Holden. Let me do this, alone.”
“Sis, you're looking at me and seeing your big brother. Guess it's too easy to forget I've been overseas for four years, dealing with brutes who make the Draytons look like a damned joke. You need me, however much you don't want to hear it.” Both his hands are on my shoulders now, squeezing, forcing me to keep looking at him when I want nothing else except to turn away and run. “The Sheriff's compromised. His first instinct's going to be protecting the Draytons. He'll push you out of his office and send you down to some flunky, who'll throw your statement in a drawer where it'll just gather dust. They can't do that with a decorated Marine.”
I hate it, but I know he's right.
When I pull myself away, we head for his truck. I send him the same file from my phone, the one with the only evidence we have to set Ryan free. Then we're rolling onto the highway, too anxious to turn the radio on, never saying anything our eyes can't when we share a glance at every light.
We have to get him out of there. There's no telling what Reg will try to do with his family's connections. His family will want a spectacle in the local press, portraying them as victims, but Reg won't wait forever, knowing who he is and what he meant to me.
He doesn't take risks. If he doesn't know the truth about what happened with Nelson, he'll make sure it's only his family's version that ever goes on record.
