by Ava Miles
He trailed kisses along her jaw until she lightly pressed him back, wanting to give to him too. His blue eyes burned into her as she caressed his back and then slid her hand lower until she was stroking the hard muscles of his butt. His hips jutted forward, and he moaned as he crushed his mouth to hers again, taking her on a new ride, one filled with belly-clenching kisses, red-hot urges, and total sensual oblivion.
His hand caressed her breast, and soon she was once again a field of raging desire. Pressing against his arousal with her hips, she pulled her mouth away to utter, “Now,” and that was all it took.
Matt pressed slowly inside. His size stretched her, and she moaned.
“Take a breath, Jane,” he ordered in a silky voice.
She did, and he eased inside a little more. His jaw was clenched, and he spread her legs a little wider with his hands.
“Christ, you’re so tight.”
“I’m sorry,” she cried out, full of desire, full of him.
“Don’t you ever apologize for that,” he rasped and then caressed her breast with a hand.
Her back arched, and that was all it took for him to be seated fully within her. He stretched out over her then and cupped her chin.
“All right?” he asked.
The fullness was quickly changing to urgent need, and she lifted both knees to squeeze his thighs. “Please.”
“Okay, baby,” he whispered, “I know what you need.”
And then he pressed back and gently slid forward. She moaned, the fullness and heat of him overwhelming her. His answering groan had her tangling her fingers into his hair and pulling him in for a hot kiss. The rhythm he set was easy and slow at first, but soon her hands were gripping him as urgently as her knees were, so he took the pace faster, deeper.
All of the friction, the heat, was so intense Jane threw her head back.
“Oh, God,” she called out.
Matt shifted to his knees and grabbed her hands, raising them above her head. “Come on, Jane,” he urged, thrusting into her in a frenzy now.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling everything inside her pulse. Crying out, she squeezed his hands and poured out her soul.
He answered with even deeper, faster thrusts, and then he was calling out, shaking above her, until he folded over her, his sweat-soaked chest pressing against her body. His rapid breaths tickled her ear, but she was so far off in another realm she didn’t open her eyes.
When he finally rolled them onto their sides, she wrapped her arm around him, not wanting to lose this precious connection. This is what it all comes down to, she thought, the connection. And, for the first time, Jane finally realized what it meant to become one with another person.
He stroked her back as their breathing slowly returned to normal. Then he kissed her neck. Nuzzled her ear. “Be right back,” he whispered before untangling himself.
She mumbled protests, but soon he was back, fitting her to the long hard line of his body once more.
Rising on an elbow, she looked down at his beloved face. His hair was sweaty at the temples and standing up in spots. Then his eyes opened, and she fell into their fathomless blue depths.
“Matt,” she whispered.
He traced her cheek. “What?”
She could feel a slow smile spread across her mouth. “Just Matt.”
Leaning down, she kissed him and then settled herself against his side and fell asleep.
Chapter 17
When Jane awoke, her breath caught in her throat when she saw Matt sleeping next to her. He’d rolled onto his side and slung an arm across her waist as though he couldn’t bear to let her go. Her body felt liquid and sore in a few places. Her throat was parched, and she desperately wanted some water, but she couldn’t bear to get up.
Being with him was more powerful than anything she’d ever experienced, and while she didn’t feel like she was on steady ground, there wasn’t a place she’d rather be.
She loved him.
And she loved making love with him too.
Just remembering how he’d called her beautiful made her heart burst with joy. Her body pleased him, excited him, aroused him. This body. The one she’d found lacking since her mother’s first snide comment to her in high school.
Well, at least we never need to worry about you looking overweight on TV.
The hurt of that comment and many more that had followed had never left her. She’d always felt lacking, but tonight, with Matt, she’d found new ground. And the utter preciousness of what she felt for him and what they were building brought tears to her eyes.
And in that minute, she knew she had to tell him the truth.
The whole truth and nothing but.
She wasn’t going to risk their relationship with lies. He said she could trust him, and after everything that had passed between them tonight, she knew it was true.
It would be awkward to explain her past as Raven, but she knew he’d listen. And she could finally be fully herself with the man she loved.
But first she needed to talk to Rhett and Elizabeth. With the decision to tell Matt anchored inside her as firmly as her family’s old yacht in its boat slip, she also knew it couldn’t wait. When he awoke, he’d want to talk more, and she did too.
With no impediments between them.
Easing away from his warmth, she eyed the clock. It was just shy of eight thirty. Now she understood how people snoozed after sex. It was delicious…and vigorous. She almost laughed at herself.
She’d leave a note for Matt and slip out to talk to Elizabeth and Rhett. She knew they wouldn’t hesitate to meet her if she sent them an urgent text.
As she slid out of bed, tiptoeing across the room to pick up her clothes, she glanced back at Matt. His chest was rising and falling evenly.
She let herself out into the hallway, freezing when she saw Henry raise his muzzle with sharp interest in his eyes. But when she shook her head no, he settled back down with her dogs. Whew! After dressing in the spare bedroom, she walked into the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and downed it, but it wasn’t enough. Who knew sex could make you so thirsty?
She was discovering all sorts of things tonight.
After downing another bottle and filling a water bowl for the dogs, she found a pen and notepad and wrote Matt a note.
Hey,
Might sound weird, but I had to run out and take care of something. Will be back shortly.
Should she sign it, Love, Jane? When she tapped her foot, she knew she was making it too complicated, so she just wrote a simple J and set it on the kitchen table where he would see it.
Now it was time to deal with Henry. She didn’t want to leave him in the house unattended. He was being surprisingly good, but who knew what he’d do after she left. And she hated to think of him waking up Matt.
As she led all three dogs into the laundry room, where she kept Rufus and Annie’s crates, their tails were wagging as though the dogs were thinking, Oh, it’s friend time. She opened the door to Rufus’ crate and gestured to Henry. Another surprise. He went in without a fight. Yeah, he was a good dog. Just hurting and a little lost. And now she was around to help with that. She gave him a treat and rubbed him under the ears. After washing her hands in the laundry room sink, she gave Annie and Rufus a treat and patted them both.
“No bark.”
And Rufus dropped his head like he understood. Annie just pranced around, ever the princess. “Stay,” she told them and pointed to Henry, who was still crunching on his milk bone.
They both trotted over to Henry and sat beside the crate. She didn’t usually close the laundry room door, but this time she was going to. She didn’t want to take any chances.
Satisfied that the dogs were well settled, she texted Elizabeth and Rhett, asking if they could talk with her about an urgent matter at Elizabeth’s house. Nothing bad had happened; she just needed to talk ASAP.
Her phone immediately buzzed with their answers—both yeses—so s
he shoved her feet into her boots, tugged on her outer gear, threw her purse over her shoulder, and went into the garage to get going.
Five minutes later, she was at Elizabeth’s door. Her friend threw it open immediately—she’d clearly been waiting by it—and scanned her face.
“Did he hurt you?” she immediately asked.
Her mouth parted. “No, of course not.”
Her friend sagged against the door. “Thank God. You scared the shit out of me, Jane. Never, ever do that again!”
She wrapped her friend in a hug and pulled her inside, nudging the door shut behind them. They held each other, her eyes squeezing shut. She was so lucky to have Elizabeth in her life.
She was about to test their bond of friendship, and her belly grew tight with nerves like it did when Rhett lost his stack in poker.
“I made love with Matt tonight,” she whispered.
Her friend jerked back. “I just thought you were having a really bad hair day.”
Laughter bubbled out, and she strode over to the mirror hanging in her friend’s foyer. She took in her appearance—swollen mouth, puffy eyes from her earlier tears, and yes, matted and spiky hair. “Good God.”
“It a full-on emergency. Come on, we can get you a brush before Rhett arrives.” Elizabeth took two steps before halting abruptly. “Wait. This isn’t a post-coital chat, is it? Otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked Rhett to come.” Her friend’s eyes narrowed. “What’s going on, Jane?”
The pounding at the front door interrupted their conversation, and Jane went over to answer it, since she was closer.
Rhett took one look at her and said, “Whoa, what happened to you?”
Jane scrubbed her hands through her hair. “Ah…”
“She had sex for the first time in years,” her best friend informed him.
“Jeez!” he cried, shutting the door. “I really don’t need to know these kinds of things.” Then his eyes narrowed, and he took her shoulders in his big hands. “Did he hurt you? Is that why you texted like that? I’ll kill him if he did.”
“No!” she cried. “He was more than wonderful. He is more than wonderful.”
Everyone stilled at the emotion in her voice.
“I love him.”
Elizabeth’s face fell like it did when she was about ready to unfurl her mother hen routine. Rhett only took off his coat and hung it on the rack.
“We just made love for the first time, and I left him sleeping because I realized I could no longer hold back the truth about who I am.”
Elizabeth looked like someone had slapped her. She shook her head slowly. “No.”
Jane rushed over to her and grabbed her hands. “Yes. Liz, I can’t do it anymore. I told him about my family tonight, but I want to tell him everything.”
Rhett put his arms around them and led them to the sitting area. “Come on, now. Let’s get comfy. This is going to take a while.”
The warmth from the fire heated Jane’s body, but inside, a deeper cold was taking root as she took in Elizabeth’s rigid frame.
“When we last spoke,” Rhett said, “you only wanted to tell him about being my poker scout.”
Elizabeth’s gasp shot guilt into Jane’s body like an arrow. “What? You two have already talked about this? How could you have not told me?”
“Because I knew how you’d feel,” Jane said quietly. “I knew all of the reasons you would give me for not telling him. That I barely know Matt. That no man, save Rhett, can be trusted.”
Her friend’s mouth pursed, but Jane wasn’t done. She had to say it all.
“And that I’m naïve when it comes to men.”
Elizabeth didn’t disagree.
“Look this isn’t about your past,” she told Elizabeth, “this is about my present and my future. I have a real chance to have something special and…well…lasting with Matt.” After tonight, she knew she could be with him forever. Yes, they hadn’t known each other long, but she knew how she felt. “He’s a good man, and he deserves to know the truth. Especially since he’s running for mayor.”
“He’s what?” Elizabeth said in a near shout, tucking one of her legs under her. “Have you lost your ever-freakin’ mind? You want to entrust the truth about who you are—who we were and what we’ve done—with a man who’s just like your father?”
Her blood boiled. “You know me well enough to guess how hard it was for me to find out he’s running. Well, I’ve dealt with it, and he’s nothing like my father. He’s not like Vince either, Liz.”
Her friend’s face went chalk white at that, and her lip trembled. “Don’t you dare bring up that man’s name. How could you?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Elizabeth, I love you like a sister, but I can’t make the same choices as you. I’m done with living in the past…and hiding from it.”
Rhett patted her leg, which was quivering. “I take it Vince is the person you were running away from when we first met,” he finally said to Elizabeth. “We’ve been together a mighty number of years, and you’ve never told me the full story. I think now might be the time.”
Elizabeth only shook her head, mute for once in her life.
“Vince was someone she started dating at Harvard when we were in the last semester of our M.B.A. He stalked her when she broke things off.”
“How dare you tell him!” Elizabeth raged and pushed off the couch, facing the fireplace.
“It’s time, Liz. And God knows we can trust Rhett. Vince was from a very powerful family, and suffice it to say, he didn’t take her rejection too graciously.”
Rhett clenched his fists in his lap, his eyes flinty now. “Are you going to tell me more about this, Elizabeth, or are you going to let Jane? What more do I have to do to get you to you trust me?”
Elizabeth’s profile was illuminated by the red-gold firelight, making her even more beautiful. “I hate talking about it, Rhett. I swore I wouldn’t.”
“Tell me, darlin’.”
“Things were bad,” she finally whispered. “He followed me everywhere. Got into fights with the men I dated. Slashed my tires. Broke the flower pots we had in front of our graduate housing.”
The blood froze in Jane’s veins as she let herself remember all of it. How it had gone from annoying to downright scary.
“I changed my number when he wouldn’t stop calling. We went to campus police first, and then to the Cambridge police. We filed all their paperwork. Jane even paid for a lawyer to file a restraining order. It went to court, but Vince’s lawyer was one of the best in the country. He made up lies about me, saying I was unbalanced, and dredged up my childhood of living in a trailer park, which he found out by doing a background check on me. He claimed I was trying to get a settlement out of Vince because he was rich.”
Rhett rose and walked over to Elizabeth, who gripped his hand.
“The judge denied the restraining order, and as Jane and I were leaving, Vince told me he wasn’t finished with me. That if he saw me with another man, he’d kill me and him. He said I was his or nobody’s.”
Their big champion enfolded her in his arms and rocked her, and the sight of it broke Jane’s heart.
“Jane and I stayed up nights with baseball bats in our hands after that. My lawyer said he needed more evidence, but I knew it was futile. I was afraid Vince would ruin my chances at Harvard and beyond. Graduation was only one month away, so I didn’t go out with anyone. Kept a low profile.”
They had both felt like prisoners in their own home, and Jane had never been more afraid in her life. Each time she’d stepped outside, she would look over her shoulder. More often than not, Vince would be watching, and a cold chill would shoot down her spine.
“The week after we graduated, I was applying for jobs on my laptop in the library when he suddenly sat down next to me. He told me that I needed to be real nice to him or he and his family would make sure that I didn’t get a job anywhere.”
Rhett let her go when she pushed away from him.
“
He ran his finger down my neck and told me not to cross him anymore, to come back to him. When I got home, I told Jane we needed to get out of town. I knew something bad was going to happen.”
Elizabeth had come home, hysterical, telling Jane about Vince’s threat. They both knew he could make good on it. His family had powerful connections at the big firms, and even Jane’s parents couldn’t match his connections. Not that they would have lifted a finger to help. Her parents had always considered her relationship with Elizabeth to be in poor taste because of her “trashy” upbringing.
“Jane’s parents were breathing down her neck about joining her father’s campaign and working for them full-time, so we went to Atlantic City to disappear for a while,” she said. “Make some decisions. And that’s where we met you, Rhett. When you offered us jobs, we both knew it was a chance to escape. Jane could make her family ashamed of her by becoming Raven. Very bad for the senator’s image. And I could disappear off Vince’s radar forever.”
By the time silence descended on the room—save for the popping and crackling of wood in the fireplace—Jane felt years older. Elizabeth had made her agree they wouldn’t speak of Vince again, and it was so dark and draining to return to thoughts of that time.
“I always knew it had to be something to do with a guy, something bad,” Rhett said. Then he put his hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder. “I wish you’d told me this years ago, Elizabeth. I would have beaten him within an inch of his life for threatening you.”
Her mouth formed a smile that fell flat a second later, as though she didn’t have the energy to hold it in place. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. He would have caused problems for you, Rhett. And I didn’t want him to find out where I was. I changed my name, you see. Legally.”
He cocked his head. “What’s your real one?”
“Well, it’s Liza Parenti,” she told him. “It took some doing, but Jane’s family helped because they didn’t want anyone to find out about Raven and ruin the senator’s political career. The Wilcox political machine knows how to bury damaging connections.”
