by Ava Miles
He ran his hands through his hair. “Well, it was to be expected, I suppose. My mom told me she took some down. I told her they’d be back up tomorrow, but she said she’d just do the same. That they weren’t right.”
“Can we talk in your office?” she asked. “Is everyone gone?”
“Yes,” he said, snaking a hand around her waist to pull her close. “I’ll introduce you to Alice, my secretary, another time. I want you all to myself, since this is your first visit. It’s not nearly as impressive as the law firm I worked at in Denver, but I like it. Has everything I need. Two spacious conference rooms, an office, a reception area, and a break room. I might have to rent a new space for the campaign though. Things are getting kinda cramped, and I don’t want clients to have to wade through my extracurricular activities.”
“That’s probably wise.”
She was stiff in his arms and looking at everything but him.
“Bad memories?” he decided to ask.
“Some. I called…my parents today.”
Well, that was a shock. From what he knew, they’d been estranged for years. “Really.”
“I decided that I didn’t want the past to.... I ah…thought talking to them now might change things. I don’t know what to expect or if they’ll even call me back, but I don’t want to be afraid of them anymore.”
So that was why she’d come. The worry he’d been carrying instantly lightened. “I’m proud of you, Jane.”
Then she gazed up at him, her chocolate eyes troubled, and his gut tightened again. Whatever she needed to tell him had nothing to do with her parents, he realized. This was only a primer.
“Don’t be proud yet. Can we go into your office?”
“Sure,” he said, sensing she was finally about ready to tell him the other secret she’d been carrying. “But why don’t you kiss me hello before we do? I didn’t feel comfortable doing that in front of the Easter Brigade.”
She traced his cheek. “I want to keep things separate while we’re in your office. If you still want to kiss me after we talk, we can do it later.”
Now that worry turned into outright fear. “Jane, you’re scaring me here.”
“Is that your office?” she asked and moved toward the door.
He followed her, and she gently shut it, enclosing them in silence.
She dropped her red purse onto the chair in front of his desk. “Do you remember how there was something I couldn’t tell you? Something involving other people?”
He unbuttoned his suit jacket with shaking fingers. “Yes.”
Drawing an envelope out of her purse, she handed it to him. When he opened it, surprise rippled through him. It was a cashier’s check for a thousand dollars made out to his firm from her personal bank account. This was not good.
“What is this Jane?”
“It’s a retainer. The only way I can tell you what I want to tell you is by having you agree to be my lawyer. It’s the only way my colleagues would allow it. It’s not what I want, but…this is the compromise.”
His eyes flicked up from the check to her as he shoved it back into the envelope. Anger was flickering up inside him now. “You want our conversation to be privileged?”
He’d agreed to that one other time with someone he loved, and it had been a disaster. He’d vowed never to do it again.
“It’s the only way.” She leaned back against his desk.
It couldn’t be. He tossed the envelope to her, which she caught. “Okay, now I’m half scared and half pissed. What in the hell do you need to tell me that requires attorney-client privilege? You swore that it wasn’t illegal.”
She wrung her hands. “It’s not.”
“Then why this elaborate scene. Aren’t we together? Didn’t you just spend the entire weekend with my family? If you have something you need to tell me, why can’t you trust me enough without putting money between us, without making me your lawyer?”
Striding forward, the envelope in her hand, she said, “Because it’s the only way my partners will agree to let me tell you this. I don’t want it to be this way, but it’s something you need to know. It’s something that could impact you.”
The pieces finally came together. “It could hurt my campaign.”
Her lip trembled. “Yes.”
He shoved away from her. “Dammit, Jane.” What the hell was he supposed to do now? “I don’t date clients, and I don’t work for people I care about.”
Only silence greeted him.
“Ever.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she whispered, and from the hoarseness of her tone he finally understood what she was asking of him.
“Jane, please understand. It’s been one of the most important rules I’ve set for myself. After I graduated from law school, I agreed to work with one of my best friends from college.” Jason had three brothers, and he’d become close to all of them.
“Jason hired me to handle his part of the inheritance after his father passed away. You have to understand, I was close to everyone in his family. I felt like I was one of them… Well, the whole thing turned ugly between him and his brothers. It was a sizable estate, and they fought over how it had been split. Jason told his brothers that I was the one telling him to go for more, and when they asked me as a friend, I couldn’t tell them the truth. He used our attorney-client privilege against me. It ruined my relationship with his whole family. They thought I was a Judas, and I had no way of defending myself.”
Losing his friends that way had made him vow never to work as a lawyer for anyone he cared about. Of course, every law professor he knew had hammered that home, but the personal lesson was the one that had stuck.
When he looked back, she had already turned away from him. Her back was rigid, and she had her face in her hands.
“Can’t you understand? I can’t go there again. I promised myself. Talk to me, Jane,” he said, going to her and putting his arms around her. She was shaking, which made him press his cheek against her hair. “Whatever this is, you can trust me with it.”
She turned, and her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you think I know that? Haven’t you been listening? I love you, but my partners will only let me tell you if we do it this way…and you can’t because of…this Jason.”
His arms fell away from her. “So I’m supposed to break a cardinal rule because your partners can’t trust me with something I need to know?”
“I’m sorry!” she cried out, shocking him. “Don’t you know how hard this is for me? I’m risking all of my important relationships. And what about trusting me not to act like Jason?”
“Stop it! Don’t talk like that,” he said, his own heart breaking now as he took in how tortured she was. “You can tell me, and I swear, your partners will never know you didn’t hire me as your lawyer. And you have my word I won’t tell anyone else either.”
It was the only way. He hated to see her in this kind of agony, but whether it happened now or later, he was certain that putting money between them would ruin their relationship.
“Trust me, Jane.”
She stepped back. “But I’ll know, and I can’t break my promise.”
He swallowed thickly then. “Where does that leave us?”
Her inhale was long and jagged, as though she didn’t have enough air. “Maybe…it’s better that we separate while you’re running for mayor. If… Well, if we run into each other later on and want to…” She shook her head and clenched her eyes shut. “Please, Matt. I don’t want to lose you. Can’t you please do this for me? Just this once?”
The quiver in her voice almost broke him. “Ask me anything else, but no. I won’t risk our relationship this way. I can’t. Jason and his family were a huge part of my life, and everything changed as soon as I became his lawyer.”
“But I’m not asking you to do anything bad,” she shouted. “Or hurt anyone.”
“What kind of future do we have if it takes a retainer for you to tell me something like this? Dammit, I love you! I’m with y
ou every night. I wake up with you every morning. What more do I have to do to prove you can trust me?” Dear God, what dark secret could be behind this kind of ultimatum?
She reached for her purse and swung it over her shoulder. “I should have let you kiss me before we came in here.”
As she swept in front of him, he almost grabbed her to stop her. But to what end?
“I figured out why Henry doesn’t listen to you,” she said, turning at the doorway. “Since we won’t be…” Her voice broke, and he loosened the knot in his tie, which was choking him. “He senses that you only took him in out of obligation, and that you don’t love him. Once you…open your heart to him and start to consider him your dog, not Patricia’s, he’ll listen to you.”
Her words hung between them as he realized she was right. His mind flashed back to how Patricia had sounded when she’d asked him to take Henry, her voice thready and weak. He hadn’t wanted to do it, but he hadn’t been able to refuse her, not when she was so sick. Poor Henry.
She stared at him in the lengthening silence. “Goodbye, Matt.”
“Don’t do this,” he pleaded. “I love you. Trust me, goddammit!”
She shook her head, her eyes filled with tears now. “I told you how it has to be…”
When she hurried out, he sank into a chair and ran his hands through his hair. His chest hurt, and he had this horrible feeling of wanting to heave his desk over to shatter all the things on it.
How had everything gone so wrong so quickly? She’d just met his family, for Christ’s sake.
For the first time in his life, he wished he were a lawyer who could play fast and loose with his principles.
The price of integrity was sometimes too steep.
Chapter 27
One upside to having family in town was the ability to see them immediately when things were rough, so Matt headed over to Andy’s house after pulling himself together at the office and taking Henry out at home. He’d gone for a run alone at sunset—not in the park where he and Jane usually went—but in one that had no memories of her.
It didn’t help.
All he could feel was the shock of their break-up, which hadn’t worn off one bit. He needed to talk through what had happened or he’d go crazy, and because he could trust his brother not to say anything, he was going to lay it out and get his take.
As he drove to his brother’s house on the bench, he realized he could smell her in his car. His throat closed, and he punched up the gas in anger. What was he supposed to do with that?
Danny opened the door when he arrived. His new scooter was lying on the floor next to a basketball, and the warm house decorated in neutral colors of brown and greens smelled like his brother had burned their dinner.
His nephew immediately launched himself into his arms. “Hi, Uncle Matt. Is Jane with you? I really like her. She’s so cool!”
“She’s not with me.”
The lump in his throat grew. Yeah, everyone in his family loved her.
He picked Danny up and hugged him, gripping him tighter than usual.
“Uncle Matt, is everything okay?” he asked.
His brother appeared in the doorway, and the smile he had on his face instantly faded when he saw Matt. Just like that, he knew.
“Having a rough day, is all,” he told Danny. The boy didn’t ask to be let down—he simply wrapped his arms around Matt’s neck.
“Dad burned my mac and cheese and was upset too, but we’ll make it better,” the little boy said. “Won’t we, Dad?”
Matt’s brother nodded. More than anyone, he had reason to know that some things just couldn’t be made right.
“Come on, let’s play video games. That’s what Dad and I do when he has a bad day.”
His brother brought him a beer and gripped his shoulder for a second, and then they launched into two hours of gaming. His nephew’s skill, even at the towering age of five, kept him focused, and every now and then his brother stepped in to beat the pants off him.
“You two are way too good for me,” he commented, sinking back into the sofa. God, he was tired. The day’s events had drained the life out of him.
Danny snuggled next to him on the couch, and the feel of that trusting little body soothed him like always. There was something magical about being around kids.
“Are you feeling better, Uncle Matt?” he asked, his expression much too serious now.
“With you as my company,” he answered, interjecting some pep into his voice, “how could I not?”
“Okay, it’s bath time, and then one story,” his brother said, storing the controls in the home television unit.
“Two,” Danny chirped before running off, his feet pounding up the stairs.
“We can talk after he goes to bed,” his brother said. “Why don’t you grab another beer?”
Matt cruised to the kitchen and put the leftover dishes in the dishwasher to help his brother out. The burnt macaroni pan was already soaking. Even though he’d looked up to his older brother all his life, he admired him even more now that he was a single dad.
There were new crayon drawings on the refrigerator, and Matt studied them as he popped his beer open. One was of Danny skiing down a mountain, and the other was the scariest leprechaun he’d ever seen with a pot of gold, likely for St. Patrick’s Day. Thank God he had family here to visit when he needed them.
He took the steps two at a time and found Andy toweling Danny down, the boy doubled over in giggles.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
Andy shrugged. “He’s lost his mind.”
“I’m just laughing,” his nephew sputtered.
“Over tired, more like. Come on. Into your jammies and then off to bed. One story.”
“Two.”
Matt’s lips pursed. The little negotiator.
“Fine. Uncle Matt can read to you while I clean up the kitchen.”
“Already done,” he told him, and his brother smiled.
“Thanks, man.”
“It’s nothing.”
They ended up reading the story together, both of them putting on funny voices for dramatic effect. Danny snuggled between them. Matt’s eyes tracked to the framed picture on the bedside—Kim holding Danny when he was a baby. God, she’d been so full of light.
And now she was gone, missing her son’s wild giggling during baths and story time.
Life just wasn’t fair sometimes.
After kissing Danny goodnight and tucking him into bed, they headed downstairs. Andy grabbed a beer and joined him on the couch.
“Okay, tell me what happened with Jane.”
He didn’t spare any details, and at the end of the telling, his throat was raw.
His brother gripped his shoulder. “It sounds like she wants to do the right thing, but can’t. Of course, you can’t either, not after what happened with Jason. You didn’t even act as my lawyer when Kim was dying.”
Right. He’d recommended his brother have another lawyer draw up her DNR. Part of him couldn’t have handled the task emotionally, but he also hadn’t wanted to put the law between him and the brother he loved. End of life issues had torn some families apart. Fortunately, Andy had understood.
“So you don’t have any idea what this could be?” his brother asked.
“It has to be poker-related. I can’t imagine her doing anything else that would be so hush-hush.” He rose and started to pace the floor in front of the couch. “I’m scared she’s in trouble, Andy.”
“She’d have to be to walk away from you.”
That stopped him in his tracks.
“I saw the way she looked at you, Matt. She loves you. Already loves our family. And in her own way, she’s trying to protect these partners of hers as well as you and your campaign.”
“None of this sounds like Rhett. I haven’t known him long, but he seems to be a pretty straight-shooting kind of guy.” He fell back onto the couch. “I’m at a loss, Andy. I can’t do what she wants, but I don’t want to
lose her.”
His brother sipped his beer. “So find out what this big secret is yourself.”
“What?”
“We happen to be related to some of the best investigative journalists in the country, or are you forgetting what Uncle Arthur pulled when he first met Jane? And you know they won’t say a word. They’re family.”
Right. The idea took shape. “If I find out what it is, then she won’t have to break their confidence.”
“And she’ll have to trust you then.”
He rubbed his chest. “That’s what hurt, Andy. That she couldn’t trust me without money between us.”
“I think you’re being too hard on her. It sounds like this was her best option. And when it was clear that you wouldn’t go for it for reasons I totally understand and support, she put you and your campaign first.” He rubbed his now bare wedding ring finger. “That’s the kind of woman you want in your life. That’s the kind of woman Kim was.”
The mantle clock ticked away the seconds as Matt considered his brother’s words. “What if it’s something bad, something I can’t overlook, something that could destroy my campaign? She seemed to think it might…”
His brother turned to stare at him. “Do you love her?” The emotion was stark on his face, and Matt knew he had to be thinking about his wife.
“I do.”
“Then who the hell cares? Kim could have robbed a bank or been a hooker before we met, and it wouldn’t have stopped me from loving the woman she’d become. Hopefully it won’t come down to that, but you have to decide what’s more important to you. Saving the world as the mayor of a small town or being with the woman you love.”
Matt didn’t have to ask what his brother would choose.
“I’ve never been in a relationship this hard before.”
His brother scoffed. “You’ve never been in a relationship, period. What you had with what’s-her-face in college pales in comparison to what you feel for Jane. Everybody in the family knows that after seeing you two together.”
Memories of the weekend rolled over him. Jane laughing with his sisters. His mother’s hand on her shoulder. It had felt like she was a missing puzzle piece.
