“You’re not listening. There is no such thing as too much sugar.” Sara kept her tone playful, yet decisive. “And you can never, ever, ever have too many Pop-Tarts.”
“Yet I can’t see an ounce of fat on you. How do you do it?”
“Good genes. I’m blessed that way.”
Angel gazed at her appreciatively as she pulled into the parking lot of Josephine’s. “I think I’ll have to ask for Pop-Tarts now. I want to see if they’ll go get them.”
“Excellent.” Sara allowed her to open her door and followed her inside.
****
Sunday dawned gloomy and gray, a perfect match to Sara’s mood. While the date with Angel went well enough, she remained bothered about the blue-haired girl and the amnesia over what they’d done. She grabbed her coat and purse and trod the few blocks to Liv’s house since the sidewalks were clear of snow. The temperature was a lovely two degrees centigrade. Practically summer. A reprieve from the freezing weather they’d experienced the previous week.
She arrived at Liv’s door in ten minutes, didn’t bother to knock, and regretted it the second she stepped inside.
Liv and Grace were in a serious lip-lock, one Sara envied greatly. Liv’s shirt lay on the floor. Grace’s mussed hair and flushed cheeks only served to add to Sara’s embarrassment. Liv smirked while Grace quickly handed her the shirt.
“Sorry. I guess I have to relearn to knock.”
“Might save you some embarrassment,” Liv said, buttoning her shirt. “You’re early.”
“I’m hungry.”
“When aren’t you?” Liv sported the stupidest grin on her face. Sara hated and loved her for it at the same time. “Want to go to the pub?”
“Sure. I don’t care where we go as long as food finds its way to my mouth.”
“Fair enough,” Liv said. She and Grace grabbed their coats, and the trio marched off to the Pot O’ Gold. The name was tongue-in-cheek, considering they were located in the heart of gold mining country in the Yukon Territory. The interior resembled an old-fashioned English pub, complete with competition-style dartboards. It happened to be the best lesbian-owned bar in the territory.
None of that really mattered to Sara. The pub had great food and was fun to hang out at on the weekends. Maybe not so much lately, as this is where she and Terry went every Saturday. And sometimes on Friday, where they would dance well into the morning.
She’d met the blue-haired girl here, too, and the thought gave her pause as she put her hand on the door handle.
Liv nudged her playfully. “What’s wrong? You just expended energy. You must be starved by now.”
“No. Thinking about Friday night and wondering if I made an ass out of myself in there or not.”
Liv grew serious for a moment and put her arm around Sara’s shoulders. “It doesn’t matter what happened on Friday. New day. New memories. Okay?”
Sara didn’t answer but let herself be guided inside. They took up residence at their usual booth not far from the bar. There weren’t any other customers. Not so strange for early Sunday afternoon. Half the regulars were probably still sleeping off their antics from last night.
Izzy, the daughter of the two women who owned the place, arrived at their table before they’d gotten settled. Her spikey hair was green today, though Sara thought it was purple last week. Her short, slightly chubby body practically vibrated with excitement, and she sported a wide grin. The sight of her unnerved Sara. Izzy was the biggest gossip in the territory, and that smile said she was busting a gut to share.
“How’d it go with Bren?” she asked Sara.
Bren. Was that her name? Sara shrugged. “Don’t remember much, to be honest. I guess it was okay. She left me her number.”
“Stellar! She wouldn’t do that unless she was totally into you, Sara. And you two were pretty damn into each other. I threatened to throw cold water on you guys at one point. I think that’s when Bren convinced you to leave.”
“I guess so.” Sara kept her gaze on the table, hoping Izzy would stop talking.
“Hey, Iz.” Grace, who was so quiet that sometimes Sara forgot she was there, spoke up. She was grateful to her now. “Can we get some colas and maybe nachos to start us off? We’re pretty hungry, so our usual burgers and fries would be great, too.”
“Oh sure.” Izzy winked at Sara. “I can’t wait to get the scoop from Bren later today. You got yourself a good one there, Sara. Just sayin’.”
Izzy went to the bar, and Sara put her head onto the table. She was tempted to slam her forehead against the weathered wood, but Liv’s hand on her neck stopped her.
“At least someone remembers Friday night,” Liv said.
“Not helping.”
“Olivia.” Grace’s voice held a tinge of humor in it. “Can’t you see she’s upset about it? Be nice.”
“No way. She wouldn’t be nice to me if the situation was reversed. Which it was. About two years ago.”
“No. No, you don’t.” Sara pulled her head up and glared at Liv. “You don’t get to compare my one night of carelessness to your months of stupidity.”
“My months of stupidity started with one night of carelessness.” Liv held her gaze. “I don’t want you to go down that road, Sara. You’re better than that.”
“If I was better than that, Terry wouldn’t have broken up with me.” Tears threatened and Sara needed to take a few deep breaths before she continued. “And I’m not going down a destructive road. Even if I had a date last night with a woman who wasn’t Bren. Or Terry.”
“A different woman? Sara…”
Grace reached across the table and laid her hand on Liv’s arm. “Don’t. Let her tell us.”
Sara said, “I went out with someone I know. Someone I’ve been out with before. Only for dinner. It wasn’t a big deal, and we managed to have a nice enough time. I’m just saying that I’m not about to jump into bed with the first woman I see. Or the second or the third.”
Liv didn’t appear at all satisfied with her answer, but she’d have to be. Sara wasn’t about to tell her she’d gone to dinner with Angel. When Angel was nice, she enjoyed being around her. Sara forgave her one mistake. Liv wouldn’t.
Izzy returned with their drinks and nachos before Liv commented further. Their food arrived soon after. Grace, thankfully, changed the subject, and Sara managed to relax. Right up to the moment Bren entered the pub.
She nearly choked on a nacho.
Bren’s face lit up when she saw Sara and changed course to come right to their table. Grace scooted over to allow Bren to join them, after Sara made some quick introductions.
“Pretty cool seeing you here,” Bren said. “Did you get my note?” Her eyes lit up with excitement. Damn she was cute. And her hair was very, very blue.
“I did. Thanks.” Sara wanted to slip under the table and stay there until everyone left. Maybe even forever.
“Cool. I was hoping you’d text me so I’d get your number. Maybe we should go out dancing next weekend? You’re awesome on the dance floor.”
Sara thought she heard a chuckle from Liv, whom she none-too-gently kicked under the table. “Uh, okay. I haven’t had a chance to text you. It’s been a crazy weekend. How about I do that when I get home later today? I didn’t put your number in my phone yet.”
“That’s okay. I can tell you my number right now.” Bren’s bright blue eyes matched the color of her hair and held an air of mischief in them. She waited for Sara to dig out her phone and carefully called off her number.
Sara obliged by sending her a text. “There you go. Let me know when and where to meet you.”
“How about I pick you up? Your house is on the way.” Bren stood, said goodbye to them, and gave Sara a wink as she sauntered to the bar. Her conversation with Izzy was immediate, and Sara realized she was screwed.
“Wow. A second date. This is good for you.” Liv’s goofy grin told Sara she approved of Bren.
“S
he’s a kid. Probably barely legal.”
“So? She likes you. That much is clear. And she seems nice enough. Why not go dancing? You love to dance.”
Sara wanted to glare at Liv. Except Liv was actually right this time. “I guess. It can’t hurt anything.”
“And maybe this time you’ll remember it. Ouch!” Liv rubbed her leg. “Why the hell do you two keep kicking me?”
Grace rolled her eyes. “Because you’re being an ass.”
“Was not.”
“Was, too,” Sara said in chorus with Grace. “Thank you.” She raised her glass and tapped it with Grace’s. “Now, let’s talk about something else.”
“How about our wedding?” Grace asked. “Is that a safe topic with you two?”
“Don’t know. Am I still invited?” Liv asked and got kicked by both women this time. “You two are evil.”
“We’re not married yet, dear. Careful what you say.”
Sara giggled. “I like her for you, Liv. She’s going to keep you in line.”
Liv grumbled, but Sara knew she was only playing. Grace was indeed perfect for Liv. Sara harbored the teeniest bit of jealousy because of it.
Liv said, “Let’s take this back to the house. We’ve got notes to go over.”
“Notes? Are you serious?” Sara glanced from Liv to Grace. “You actually have notes about your wedding?”
“Hell, yes. Otherwise, I’d forget half the stuff I’m supposed to do. Especially the stuff I need you to do for me as my best person.”
Sara slid out of the booth and put her coat on. “This better be a damn short list.”
“It is. And it’s your favorite activity.” Liv wouldn’t look her in the eye, and Sara realized what she was about to say. “You get to plan my bachelorette party.”
“Yippee.”
Chapter Two
Terry Alexander watched her daughter stubbornly cross her legs and remain in front of the TV. If she didn’t get moving, she’d be late for school and Terry late for work. Oh how she hated Mondays.
Her gaze went from Felicia to a picture on the mantle below the TV: she and Ann on their honeymoon at Niagara Falls. They wore those silly, blue-plastic, raincoat things, smiling and laughing while getting soaked by the spray from the falls. Ann’s shoulder-length, mousey-brown hair clumped against her head, but the look in her eyes… Ann’s hazel eyes captured the happiness of the moment and a lifetime of promises.
Terry’s stomach clenched. They never returned to Niagara, much as they often said they would. They’d planned to take Felicia when she was old enough.
Ann died before they could make it happen.
There’d be no trip to Niagara. The memories too painful for Terry to face. Much like the memories running through her brain in that moment.
She closed her eyes to force them out.
It didn’t work. Terry wanted to push away the image of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officer at her door. The kind man gently told Terry her wife was dead. Car accident. On the way to get medicine for Felicia, which the Mountie handed to Terry as she stood in the doorway to their home in shock.
Years later she recovered enough to feel her life was back to normal. Felicia loved her school in Whitehorse, and they both loved living with Terry’s mother. She should have been happier.
Terry checked the time on her phone and ended up staring at the wallpaper on it she refused to change. Sara Hyatt smiled at her from her perch on their friend’s boat, the lake water crystalline from the sun’s rays behind her. She was the only woman Terry dated since Ann.
On some level, she felt unfaithful to Ann. But one look at Sara and Terry was gone. There was something so special about her, so sweet and loving in those soft, blue-green eyes—Terry found it hard to look away.
Three weeks passed before Terry realized she was in love with Sara. The idea was crazy, but things happened so fast Terry didn’t bother to sit and ponder it. She accepted the fact and held that love tightly to her chest, where she kept it still. She’d never told Sara.
Now Sara would never meet Felicia as they’d planned. Never get the chance to know her and be part of her life. Never get the chance to find out if Terry and Sara were really meant for each other.
Sara never once shied away from Terry after finding out how special Felicia was. Not even for a second. Most women would have turned away. But not Sara.
Terry closed her eyes and allowed herself to remember the day she showed Sara Felicia’s picture.
Terry caught Sara’s lips with her own to stop her from talking. They’d been going on and on, back and forth, about what movie to watch, and Sara, being Sara, gave her a rundown of each one and what she did or didn’t like about them. Just then, Terry didn’t care. She only wanted to spend time with her, time she didn’t have much of. Every minute with Sara was precious, and she felt like they were wasting it on this silly discussion.
“Tell you what,” she said once the delicious kissing ended, “you grab a DVD—any DVD—put it in and we’ll watch it. I’ll sit on the sofa, and with any luck, you’ll cuddle up to me and we’ll enjoy a restful evening together. Deal?”
Sara grinned at her, and Terry’s stomach did a little flip. Happened every time the woman smiled at her like that. Like a mischievous kid with some very adult thoughts. “I’ll put in the romcom,” Sara said. “Put us in the mood.”
“I’m always in the mood around you,” Terry said. Once the movie was going, she held her right arm up and Sara settled next to her. It was funny how well they fit together. Sara’s head leaned against Terry’s shoulder, and Terry rested her head against Sara’s. She sighed in contentment and Sara giggled. “What?” Terry asked.
“We’re an old married couple already,” Sara said.
“How so?”
“Every Friday you come over here after work, and we have dinner and settle in for a movie. How much more domestic can we get?”
Terry thought about that for a moment, and a vision of Felicia came to mind. What would it be like to come home, have dinner with Felicia and Sara, put her daughter to bed, and cuddle with Sara for a few hours? It’d been forever since Terry had enjoyed any kind of domestic happiness. Was it possible for Sara to be the one to bring that back into her life?
“Hey.” Sara sat up and leveled her gaze at Terry. The movie paused, and the living room seemed weirdly quiet. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Huh? No. I mean—I was thinking about the domestic thingy. It’s been awhile.”
Sara covered her mouth with her hand, and a look of horror crossed her face. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Don’t apologize.” Terry took hold of her hand and leaned in for a kiss. “I come with baggage, you know? I didn’t think I’d ever date again, much less be ‘domestic.’”
“Could you? Be domestic again?” Sara’s voice was quiet, as if she were afraid of Terry’s answer.
Terry was afraid of the answer as well. “I don’t know, but there is something I think we need to do.”
“What’s that?”
“We never chose a date for you to meet Felicia.”
“No, we didn’t,” Sara said quietly, not looking up at her. “I figured you were waiting for the right time. I know your schedule can be crazy.”
“I was thinking of taking her to Burke Park on Sunday. The weather’s supposed to be sunny and mild, and I think it’d be the best place to introduce you. She loves it there.”
Sara lifted her head and kissed Terry. “It’s a date.” She leaned into Terry and curled her legs onto the couch. “It’ll be awesome.”
“I hope so. There’s just—I haven’t told you everything you should know about my kid.”
Sara sat up to face Terry. “Honey, stop being such a worrier. Everything will be fine. Even if she’s a holy terror.”
Terry laughed. “She’s not a terror, but she is—different.” Terry reached to the side table and picked up her phone. Sh
e thumbed through a few pictures and settled on one of Felicia in the backyard, making snow angels in the dry, autumn leaves. She smiled at the expression of glee on her face. Even if there was no snow, she’d insisted it was still a snow angel.
With some trepidation, Terry angled the phone toward Sara.
“Oh! That’s adorable!” Sara took the phone to get a better look. “She’s making a snow angel in the leaves.”
“How do you know that?”
“It’s obvious by the way her arms are spread out,” Sara said, a very big, goofy grin on her face. “Oh, I like this kid. I like her a lot.”
“Sara.” Terry’s voice lowered to get her attention. “Have you looked closely at the picture?”
“Um, yes?” Sara handed the phone back. “Is there something weird I should see? It’s not one of those where something jumps out at you after a few seconds, is it?”
“No. That’s, um, creepy. No, I mean did you look closely at Felicia?”
“Should I have?” The question was genuine, and Terry relaxed a little. Had Sara really not noticed?
“Felicia has Down Syndrome.”
“Uh, duh. That’s fairly obvious.” Realization must have dawned on her as she said, “Was I supposed to comment on it? Did I do something wrong here?”
“No, no you didn’t do a thing wrong. I’m just used to people making sure they say something about it.”
“Like what?”
“Like how hard it must be, or how sorry they are.”
“Why would I be sorry? I mean, I don’t know anything about it, but it can’t be easy. Then again, is raising a child ever easy? Even if you have both parents?”
“I don’t know. It was pretty easy the first few years.”
Sara leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. “I’m no expert on these things, but all I see is a healthy, happy child smiling up at someone she obviously loves. Honestly, there’s nothing else to see. And I can tell by the way you talk about her that you’re a good mom.”
Terry put the phone down and drew Sara in for a kiss that she hoped would show her how special she was. There were no words as they pulled apart, eyes locked, smiling at each other. Terry took the remote from Sara and hit the Play button. She turned her attention to the movie and envisioned herself with Sara and Felicia—a second chance for her to have a family again.
Sara's Choice Page 3
