“Thanks for that. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel to know I have such good friends.” Bren gazed at Izzy who now sported a very cute blush going up her neck to her cheeks. She kept her gaze on the floor, but Sara suspected they’d already discussed this topic.
“You do. We had to keep your hordes of friends away. Izzy set up one of those group apps to let them all know your status. Liv, Gracie, and Terry came in shifts to make sure we ate and slept. There was a team of people keeping an eye on you, honey. Trust me.”
“I do,” Bren said. Her eyes drooped a bit.
“Listen, you need to rest. When you’re feeling up to it, why don’t you and Izzy come to my house for dinner? We’ll get junk food and watch a sappy romance. Whatcha think?”
Izzy blushed more, and Bren gave her a tired smile. “Sounds like a plan.”
“Good.” Sara stood, kissed Bren on the forehead, and gave Izzy another hug. “Let me know if you two need anything.” Izzy promised she would text her, and Sara left Bren in Izzy’s very capable hands.
Chapter Sixteen
Sara couldn’t remember giggling so much her sides hurt. When she was little, her dad would tickle her until she peed her pants. The sight of Terry dressed in her jammies, sitting on the floor with Felicia, had her in stitches. A blanket was laid out and adorned with Hello Kitty plates, cups, and matching sporks. The jammies Terry wore displayed Hello Kitty all over them in all her pinkness in many different poses.
She tried desperately to ignore Terry’s braless chest. When Terry leaned forward to pour her tea, Sara was teased with the site of smooth, pale skin, which she knew would taste sweeter than… She gave her head a little shake to pull her thoughts back to the present.
Focus on other things, she told herself.
Cookies of various shapes, sizes, and flavors were assembled on different plates, and of course, Hello Kitty napkins were stacked nearby.
Sara enjoyed the serious expression on Terry’s face. She played along with Felicia as if they were about to have high tea with the queen. She even pulled what Sara could only describe as a sour face at Sara’s giggling. Which caused her to giggle harder, and before long, she was gone.
Felicia giggled along with her, though she probably didn’t get the humor. Giggling was, after all, contagious.
“Mom,” Felicia said after her laughter subsided. “Can Sara come over every Sunday? She’s funny.”
“Uh, that would be up to Sara, but I don’t mind.”
Sara realized she had about two seconds to say the right thing or she’d be screwed. What was the right thing? Commit to seeing Terry every Sunday? She’d already warned Sara Felicia never forgot anything. If she said yes, Felicia would expect her there every weekend. Could she do that?
“How about,” Sara said, “we make a date for next Sunday and see how it goes? Sometimes I need to see my mom on the weekends. I might have to skip a few Sundays. Would that be okay?”
“To be with your mom?” Felicia asked.
“Yes. We like to go shopping. It’s not as busy on Sunday, and let me tell you, she’s crazy about shopping. And I like to go with her. It’s fun.”
“I like being with my mom, too. It’s cool.” And that was that. Felicia moved on to other topics of importance, such as which cookies to start with.
Terry gave Sara an appreciative smile, and Sara’s heart did a little flip. Damn. She wanted to kiss the woman so badly it hurt. Their eyes locked and she knew Terry’s thoughts mirrored hers. Heat started unexpectedly as Terry woke feelings Sara was sure she’d shoved aside months ago. She squirmed a little under Terry’s intense gaze and finally looked away, giving her attention to the adorable child seated between them.
Terry took the hint and joined in on the cookie discussion. The scene before her was like a live greeting card you might get at Christmas. The kind with the family doing something funny for their picture—like sitting on the living room floor in matching Hello Kitty jammies having high tea. It was a picture Sara could enjoy seeing for the rest of her life.
“Oh good. I didn’t miss anything,” Shirley announced as she came into the living room, her hair mussed from wearing a wool cap, and her cheeks rosy from the cold.
Sara looked up at her. “Hey, Shirley. Good to see you again.”
“You, too. Are you enjoying your picnic? Or is it high tea? I’m never sure which is which.”
“It’s high tea,” Felicia said, trying very hard for an English accent. “You may join us, Grams.”
“That sounds lovely, but is it okay if I sit on the couch today? My knees can’t take getting on the floor.”
“Sure,” Felicia said, already pouring a cup for her. “Which cookie do you want?”
Shirley settled onto the couch with a contented sigh, but Sara got the sense something wasn’t quite right. There was definite concern on Terry’s face as she watched her mother carefully.
Shirley said, “I’ll take the peanut butter one, please.”
“Here you are.” Felicia served it up on a small plate and handed her a cup. That done, she went about serving cookies to Terry and Sara.
“Mom, are you okay?” Terry asked.
“Fine.” Shirley ate her cookie faster than Sara thought possible. “Just a bit hungry is all.”
“You skipped lunch.”
“Not now.” Shirley gazed pointedly at Felicia.
“Fine.” Terry dropped the subject, but Sara knew her heart was no longer in the grand adventure with Felicia.
They stayed in the living room for another hour before Felicia decided it was time to pack it in. Apparently, her heart was set on watching a movie that came on at exactly three oh five. The kid was interesting to say the least. Sara hadn’t spent much time around kids, but she was pretty sure she could get used to this one. She was smart, funny, and didn’t hold back on her opinion. Especially when it came to comparing chocolate chip cookies with peanut butter ones. Chocolate chip won hands down.
Terry and Sara helped Felicia clean up, then Terry set her up with her movie. Once finished, she and Sara and Shirley moved to the kitchen for some adult time.
Shirley held up her hand when Terry started to speak. “No. I don’t need a lecture. Yes, I’m exhausted. Yes, I know I wasn’t on call but I was still needed. I’m the senior counselor, and this wasn’t a cut-and-dried case. Not that they ever are, but this one was especially difficult.”
“Can I ask what you do for a living? I know you’re a psychologist, but Terry never really gave me details.”
Shirley smiled kindly at her while Terry placed a sandwich in front of her. “I work for an agency that mostly deals with juvenile offenders. Sometimes I’m called in to handle runaways or homeless kids, like today. We have to get them placed where they’ll get the help they need. It might be a halfway house or a psychiatric unit at a hospital, but I’m usually the one who determines where they should go.
“Today we had a homeless boy. He didn’t need psychiatric treatment—not urgently anyway—but we still needed to find a place for him to stay. Social services is limited in what they can provide. My agency has a wider range of options.”
Terry said, “And that can mean spending an entire day working to get the kid somewhere safe. What my mom isn’t telling you is she practically runs the place, and without her, they can barely operate. I talked her into removing herself from the on-call list, but that hasn’t worked out so well. They still call her.”
“That’s amazing. You do incredible work, Shirley.”
“Thank you.” Shirley nodded appreciatively. “But Terry’s right. I have to slow down. Unfortunately, many of our staff are new and haven’t got a handle on the nuances of what needs done.”
“And they don’t know everyone in the territory well enough to finesse them into getting what they want.” Terry shook her head at Shirley. “I’m proud of you, Mom. You know that. But I’m also worried. Did you check your blood sugar?”
“I di
d and it was low. That’s why I opted for the peanut butter cookie. I knew it’d last a bit longer in my system.”
“Not good.” Terry got up, poured a glass of orange juice, and handed it to Shirley. “Drink up.”
“Yes, dear.”
Sara watched the exchange with interest. Terry never mentioned her mother was diabetic. Nor had she mentioned how bad it could get. How much more was there she didn’t know about Terry and her family?
Their physical attraction was most certainly still in place, but Sara worried about how well they knew each other. Was it a good idea for them to go down that road again?
“Okay, done,” Shirley said and put the empty glass down. “I’m going to take a nap now. Wake me about an hour before dinner.” She kissed Terry on the cheek and turned to Sara. “I’m sorry to have to cut our visit short, unless you’re staying for dinner.”
“I’d like that,” Sara said.
“Excellent. Terry’s a good cook, and we’ll have a nice chat while she does the work. I promise.”
Shirley strode down the hall to her room.
“She likes you,” Terry said.
“She only just met me.”
“And she likes you anyway.” She sported a big grin. “I can tell. She invited you to dinner. That’s huge from her. Ann was the first of my girlfriends that my mother gave the time of day to. She’s of the ‘they aren’t good enough for my little girl’ opinion.” She paused, her eyes showing sadness in them. “You’re the second she’s ever talked to.”
“I’ll accept that compliment.”
“Good.”
An awkward silence fell between them.
They both tried to break it at the same time.
“I didn’t know—”
“How are things—”
They released nervous laughs. Terry held her hand out to Sara. “You first.”
“I didn’t know your mom was sick.”
“She’s a type 1 diabetic. Has been since the age of nine. She’s supposed to keep a close eye on her sugar levels, but she’s been bad about it lately. She’s working too many hours, and it’s taking a toll on her physically. I can’t get her to eat properly, and sometimes her insulin pump shoots her up with insulin, but she’s already processed whatever she ate—like a cookie or candy bar—and it brings her blood sugar down because the sugar is already gone. It can make her sick, throw up, pass out…all those things. She was in the hospital a year ago, and it was rough. That’s why she has an insulin pump now. Just wish she didn’t suck at taking care of herself.”
“Wow. That couldn’t have been easy for you when you lived in Quebec with her all the way out here.”
“It wasn’t. I called all the time and flew up as often as I could, especially after Dad died. I’m always worried about her. It’s like having an adult child.” Terry laughed softly. “She keeps saying I’m acting like her mom, and I guess I am. Someone has to.”
“Has it gotten worse since your dad died?”
“Yes. Much worse. Moving here was the best thing I could have done. Having Felicia around has brought some of the spark back into her life, I think. Now if I can work on the eating and overworking stuff, I’d be very happy.”
“Terry, I need to ask you something.”
Terry stared at her for a moment, like a deer caught in headlights. “Okay.”
“You never told me your mom was sick. I know we weren’t together very long, I mean, five months is hardly a lifetime. But we talked so much—I can’t think of anything I didn’t tell you about. But you never talked about your family in any detail. I didn’t realize that until now, having met and spent time with them.
“I mean, Felicia is amazing. She’s adorable and smart and witty and creative.”
“Thanks. I think she’s pretty damn amazing, too.” Terry got up and poured them both a cup of coffee. She leaned against the counter and cradled her cup in her hands. “The thing is, I was scared of everything. If I told you too much, you might call things off. If I told you too little, you’d never get to know the real me. I thought I could find a balance of things to tell you, but that clearly didn’t work.”
“Why did you need a balance? What were you so afraid of?”
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. I was afraid of my feelings for you, Sara. Ann was the only woman I ever truly loved. We knew we were meant to be together after the first few dates. I can’t explain it, but for me, it was honestly love at first sight. Maybe for Ann, too, though she’d never admit it.” Terry sighed and put her coffee cup down. “I’ve given this a lot of thought lately, and I realize I was afraid I might be falling in love with you. I didn’t know where to go with that. I miss Ann, and I think about her every time I see Felicia. How was I supposed to find a place in my heart for someone new? Could I replace Ann? Did I have to shove her memory aside?”
“You never told me any of this.” Sara got to her feet and stood inches from Terry. She so wanted to take her in her arms in that moment. “I would have tried to understand.”
“I know,” Terry whispered. “I wanted to. I just wasn’t ready. Then William showed up, and I panicked. It was somehow easier to break up with you than to work through all my issues and stay together. But that never meant I didn’t/don’t care about you. I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I can’t tell you how hard it’s been to live with myself knowing what I did to you.”
“Shh.” Sara gently held Terry’s face in her hands. “Don’t. You can’t change what happened. But you can promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“Promise me you’ll keep nothing from me. Not even your work calendar. Let me in, Terry. Please. I still need you.”
“I need you, too.” Tears streamed down her face, and Sara drew her closer.
Their lips met in a tender kiss that left Sara warm inside. She pulled away enough to speak, Terry’s breath soft against her lips. “I can do friends. I really can. But it’s not what I want. I want to be with you, Terry. I want us to work this out. Please? Can we work on us?”
“Yes.” Terry wrapped her arms around Sara’s waist and tightened her grip as they met for another, soul-searing kiss. “I’ll do anything for you, Sara.”
“Mom, can I have a soda?”
Sara laughed into their kiss. “Right now I think you have someone else to do things for.”
“I do.” Terry didn’t release her right away, instead holding her gaze intently. “She’s always going to need something, Sara. She’s the most important thing in my life.”
“Do you think there’s still room for me?”
“There is.”
“Mom. Are you listening?”
Terry rolled her eyes. “She never lets up.”
“I’m okay with it. I’m sure we’ll work it out. Now answer her before she comes in here.”
“No,” Terry said to Felicia. “You had one before lunch, and it’s too close to dinnertime. We’ll save it for tomorrow, okay?”
Silence followed by a dramatic sigh. “Okay.”
Sara tried to hold in a giggle. “Is it always that easy?”
“No way. She’s on her best behavior because you’re here. Wait until she’s used to you. You’ll see the real diva in all her glory.”
“I can’t wait.” Sara placed a kiss on Terry’s nose. “How about this coming Friday for another sort of date?”
“What would you like to do?”
“Dinner, movie, the usual,” Sara said. She thought she saw a hint of pleasure in Terry’s eyes when she mentioned “the usual.” Her stomach fluttered.
“I think I can make room in my busy social calendar.” Terry kissed her softly, and it sent a pleasant tingle through Sara. “What kind of movie?”
“Whatever’s showing. You pick this time.”
“Oh wow. I get to pick? You’re very serious about this sort of date.”
“I’m very serious about you.” Sara
cradled Terry’s face in her hands and kept eye contact with her. “About us. That means sharing, and I choose to let you pick the movie. It’s my way of sharing. Otherwise, I’d be picking the movie and you know it’d be a sappy romance.”
“Are you so sure that’s not what I’ll pick? I mean, maybe we could get some pointers from a sappy romance.”
“Hmm. Maybe. I guess we’re agreed on a sappy romance after dinner. Cool. Now, where were we?”
Terry grinned and leaned in for more kissing. “Right there. But you should know that we could get interrupted at any moment. Once the movie is over, Felicia will be in here to see what we’re doing.”
“I don’t mind.” Sara found a lot of truth in her statement. “I want kids, Terry, and I think being around Felicia will be a great start.” She pressed her lips to Terry’s and sighed. “Since I’m here, maybe there is one thing you could do for me.”
“What’s that?”
“Show me pictures of Ann. I want to get to know her, too.”
Terry’s eyes welled with new tears. “I’ll get the photo albums.”
****
Sara stood at the door and kept watch on her driveway. The old adage, “A watched pot never boils,” sprung into her head. But she continued to stare anyway. Terry was punctual, but a part of her hoped she’d be a bit early. She wanted the most out of her time with Terry.
They were still calling it a sort of date, but Sara knew otherwise. After the kiss last Sunday, she knew damn well where her heart belonged. There was no “sort of” about it. This was the real deal. She meant to show Terry how much she loved her. How much she’d missed her and how much she needed her in her life. When they kissed, Sara realized one thing: she never wanted to be apart from Terry again.
They spent most evenings this past week on the phone with a dozen text messages between them during work hours. Plus, Terry sent her tons of pictures of Felicia doing all manner of adorable things. Sara loved the kid the moment she met her.
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