I hit a point, and my throat slams shut, I feel I need a few minutes before I try and explain to Beau about my thoughts.
“I just need the bathroom Beau; will you wait here for me?” I ask.
“Of course, you know I will wait for you,” he replies.
I walk towards the bathroom and pass all the other regulars who sit there with girls sat on their laps and who continue to whisper sweet nothings into their ears. I can see girls who are trying to milk every last cent out of their clients, teasing them and hoping to get a cash bonus after they are done.
I enter the bathroom and the door swings closed behind me. I rest my hands on the marble counter and stare into the mirror. I stare into my eyes and can see the emotions building up in me and I feel I want to just cry and let it all out. But I have to be strong, if I show signs of weakness and emotion like this, the other men will see.
I turn on the faucet and swill my face. The water sends bursts of freshness through my skin, and I feel awake and ready to put my point forward to Beau.
I walk back into the room and as always, I glance at the grandeur of the room, the golden columns looking like a scene from a roman movie and the walls painted with scenes of lust and debauchery. It is truly a place that shows wealth and one where all the John’s can just be themselves and have no judgment from prying eyes or ‘hangers on.’
I walk back towards Beau and place my hand on his shoulder as I pass him, then I sit myself down and feel composed.
“You feeling better?” Beau asks as I sip on my spritzer.
“Much better thank you, I just had a feeling of being confined and needed to freshen up, I think it is the cigar smoke and no windows that gets to me when I sit here for too long,” I say.
“So, you were saying…” Beau asks.
“What I was trying to say was, I have to stop seeing you,” I say it bluntly, “there can be no more Monday visits,” I add.
“Why?” he asks with a forlorn face.
“Like I said, and I have to be careful, Tina will not be happy if they hear me telling you this,” I explain, “it is me, not you, I am the problem,” I add.
“Why are you the problem? Shona, have you done something you shouldn’t have?” Beau asks.
“Yes Beau, in a way I have done something I shouldn’t have,” I reply.
“So, what is it? I mean surely it can’t be that bad?” he replies as he sips his bourbon.
“For me, it is bad, for everyone else, no it isn’t,” I say, “you are kind and sweet,” I add.
“Well you deserve it Shona,” he replies still looking upset.
“That may be the case, and you are not like these other guys, just look at them, you would not believe how perverted some of them are,” I reply.
“Come on Shona, you are starting to stall and talk in riddles, this is not like you,” he says.
“Well Beau, to sum it up, you are too emotional for me, or should I say, I am too emotional towards you?!”
“So why is that a problem?” Beau asks.
“It just is, I am not doing my job as it should be, I am getting involved more than I should,” I explain.
“So, you are saying you don’t treat me like the other guys, you treat me different?” he asks.
“Yes Beau, I do look and treat you different to these other guys and it is screwing with me,” I say as I clasp my hands and rub my thumb against my palm.
I look at Beau and I am not sure what it is I am telling him, If I was just to say we make love rather than fuck for money he may get the idea, I think to myself.
“So, what is the solution to this?” Beau asks concerned.
“Well Beau, the only way I feel will provide a solution is if I stop our Monday meetings, that is all I can do,” I explain.
“But what about what I want? Shona, what about my needs?”
“I’m sorry Beau, but this is the way it has to be,” I say as I feel tears welling up inside of me.
“It is unfair, I treat you right, and I lose my dream woman,” he says finally.
I look into Beau's eyes and can see the disappointment, “Sorry Beau, I just have to stop seeing you,” I reply as I walk away.
God, my heart aches so bad.
“Hearts apart is better than heartache.”
Beau
“Drowning sorrows is not allowed, apparently.”
I got out from the club as soon as Shona finished telling me what she had to say. I always looked forward to our Monday meetings and now she was telling me they have to stop because there is too much emotion from both of us. I look at that as a good thing really, at least I enjoyed it. So… did she.
If I was in her position I would prefer someone who was kind and considerate, compared to some fat, sweaty fuckhead hunched over me with his belly resting on me and slobbering as he shot his wad.
I need a drink. I head out into the night air and somewhere that is in no way related to this place. I just want to forget this evening for now and numb the thoughts in my mind.
“Taxi!” I shout as a cab pulls up beside me.
“Where to?” the cabbie asks.
“The Hotel Stardust, I need a fucking drink,” I say in my firm tone.
“One of those nights is it Sir?” he replies as he steps on the gas.
“Yep!”
The cab arrives at the Stardust, I jump out and stand there looking up into the night sky. The building stretches up thirty-two floors and on the very top is the Marsette Bar, a very cool and chic place to hang out. It is also very private. I have not been here for a while and I think it is the best place to let off some steam.
I walk across the lobby towards the elevator and push the button.
“Hey Beau, I haven’t seen you for a while how are you doing?” Eric asks.
“Alright, apart from tonight, I have just received some bad news,” I reply.
“So, you are staying here then?” he says.
“No, I am going to the bar, I need a drink,” I reply wishing he would let me be.
The elevator arrives and we step inside and I push the button for the top floor, “Where’s your bowie?” Eric asks.
“What?” I reply, as I look at him confused.
“Your tie, where is your bow tie?” he says, “dress code, or have you forgotten?” he adds.
“Damn, I forgot.”
“Here, use this one, I am just going to my room.”
“You’re a star, man, thanks,” I say glad to be alone again.
“No problem, just drop it at the desk when you are finished,” David says as he exits the elevator and walks towards his room.
I reach the top floor and walk into the bar. I sidle up to the bar and take a seat.
“Good evening Mr. Beau, how are you? Hmm, it has been a while?” says the barman, Ziggy.
“It has, it is too long… and tonight, I have come on not so good terms, I just need a drink.”
“So, Beau, what do you fancy to drink?” he asks.
“Is Jeremy working?” I ask.
“Yes, they are here tonight,” Ziggy replies.
“I will have one of his martini cocktails to start,” I say.
“No problem Beau.” He places some nibbles on the bar.
“Martini cocktail please,” Ziggy calls to the other end of the bar, “Hey, Jeremy, don’t make it bad, it is for Beau,” he calls out.
“So, Beau, what brings you here this evening? And why the need for a drink?” Ziggy asks.
“Women problems, sort of,” I reply, “maybe I will tell you later,” I add.
“Ah, no problem, just call me if you need me for anything.”
I look at the end of the bar as Jeremy brings me my cocktail, thankfully he made a ‘mean’ martini cocktail and this would help to set me off before I hit the hard stuff.
I look around the bar and can see a few couples scattered about and it hits me what Shona had said to me. She had said she can no longer see me as she is emotionally involved with me, and her solution was
to dump me. Fuck!
“Ziggy, double bourbon please,” I order as I lean on the bar and ponder over my reactions to my conversation with Shona.
Ziggy arrives back at the bar with my bourbon, and before he leaves I ask for another double.
“You ok with doubles?” Ziggy asks.
“Just pour the drink will you,” I press on as I down the first glass in one shot.
The bourbon hits my stomach and I am instantly flooded with a burning sensation as it mixes with the martini. I can feel the effects and my head starts to feel a little woozy.
“Here you go Sir,” Ziggy says as he places the glass on the bar.
I have known Ziggy for a few years and he has always been the concierge of the upper floors of the hotel, namely the Marsette Bar and the restaurant. He makes a point of remembering everyone who becomes a regular here.
I pick up the glass and take a large gulp, the warmth spreading through my body like wildfire, my head starts to spin.
“One more please Ziggy,” I reply.
“Are you sure you are okay Beau?”
“I am fine, I just need to get over this news I have been given,” I reply as I finish my glass.
“I think you should be slowing down a little Beau, you don’t want to depress yourself,” Ziggy says as he holds another glass in front of me.
“Ziggy, I can’t get any more depressed, I am at my lowest point, let me tell you,” I explain as I look at him in sorrow.
“Ah, so this woman has got you bad then, I take it?”
“Yes, she does, but it is not as simple as it seems,” I reply.
“Well, Beau if you want to talk about it, I am all ears. And we can sit over there in one of the cubicles,” he says as he places my glass in front of me.
“Well, if you don’t mind, it would be good to get it out in the open and off my chest,” I reply.
“Head on over and I will be over in a few minutes,” Ziggy says.
I head over to one of the cubicles by the window. I gaze out of the window as I wait for Ziggy, the city sprawls out before me and I can see the immensity of the cars leaving trails of lights on the road.
After ten minutes Ziggy comes and sits opposite me, “So, Beau, explain your situation and don’t leave any information out. Get it all off your chest and I assure you, you will feel better,” he says as he places his cola down.
“Well, I know this woman Shona who I meet on Mondays,” I say.
“Is she married?” he asks.
“No, not at all, she works at the club, you know the club I mean, right?” I ask.
“Yes, I know it, I am just not in the circles to frequent that sort of place, if you know what I mean?” Ziggy says.
“It is no big deal, it is not all it is cracked up to be, believe me.”
“Well, this woman tells me tonight she can no longer meet me on Mondays because she and I are too emotional towards each other,” I explain to Ziggy.
“Hum, it is very womanish if you ask me, that they should like it,” Ziggy says confused the my dilemma.
“Very likely, but I have much deeper feelings towards her than I think she realizes,” I continue to say.
I fill Ziggy in with the whole picture and can feel tears build up inside of me as I explain what Shona said about us and how she is too involved with me, and that her only solution was to stop seeing me.
“Damn, it sounds like she has gone all defensive and closed,” Ziggy says.
“The thing is though, I won’t get over it I know, she is my dream girl and I look at her more than just a Monday night girl, if you know what I mean?” I explain.
“Well Mr. Beau, I think you have just been emotionally screwed and I am not sure how I can help you, apart from not letting you drink anymore to hurt yourself,” he explains, “I respect you too much to let you do that to yourself,” he adds taking my empty glass.
I can feel the bourbon washing over me and getting the better of my emotions; tears start to flow down my cheeks as Ziggy tries to console me.
“Come, Mr. Beau, don’t worry about a thing, I am sure every little thing will be all right,” he says in a comforting voice.
“Thanks, Ziggy, I knew you would understand,” I reply thankful as I wipe my eyes on my handkerchief.
“Next time you visit the Marsette Bar at the Stardust, just make sure you bring that pretty woman with you if you get the chance. Okay?”
“Drowning sorrows is not allowed, apparently.”
Shona
“Great advice has never been truer.”
I call David and ask him to meet me at Bastes Brew, I have to get everything off my chest and I have to do it tonight. I feel in my heart I have made a mistake and David is the best person who can help me put it right.
I arrive at Bastes, and David is there waiting for me, the drinks are on the table and I quickly head towards him.
“Hey Shona, you sounded desperate on the phone, tell me all about it and we will see what we can do to fix this sticky mess you are in,” David says.
“Well, as you know, I have been seeing this guy at the club on Mondays and things have become a little complicated,” I explain.
“Complicated how Dear? tell me the details, he is not being funny, is he? I will slap him if he hurts you,” David replies.
“No, not at all, he is really nice and that is the problem, he is just too damn nice and I think I am falling for him,” I reply as I sip on my coffee, “yuk, I have your extra cream,” I add.
“Oh, sorry, my bad,” David says, “so as you were saying, you are falling for this guy who you see on a Monday?” he adds.
“Yes, correct, and I think he is falling for me at the same time, he says I am special and that there are no other women in his life,” I say.
“So far, so good, you are both becoming attracted to each other, so what is the problem?” David asks sipping his drink.
“Well, tonight at the club I was telling him that problems were arising and I had to make some decisions,” I say, “and unfortunately, these decisions involve him,” I add.
“Shona Dear, I told you love would come your way soon, did I not?” David says.
I pause for a moment and glance around the café, my whole life seems to be moving in slow motion, even the people in the café seem to be moving at a snail's pace.
“Shona, woo hoo, are you there… Dear?” David says.
“Sorry, I was miles away,” I reply.
“Now, you are seeing this guy on a Mondays, he is really nice to you and you feel like you are making love rather than just fucking him for money, is that correct?” he asks.
“Yes, so far that is correct, I am much closer towards him than I am with any other John’s, and I do more to please him rather than just go through the motions, and respond to what he wants. I even find myself taking the lead and doing things that please me,” I explain in detail.
“Now come on Shona, I have known you for a long time, there is more to this than meets the eye,” David asks intently.
“Ok, the last time we met, he said I am special and that I make him feel special. I reacted to this and told him the same thing, we made love and everything was fine, and it was after I realized I was treating him special compared to the others,” I continue to explain.
“There is more, what are you not telling me Shona? Hmm, where did the conversation end up that you had with Beau?” David asked, “don’t tell me you…,” he adds.
“No, I didn’t tell him I love him, that is the whole point, I do love him and I think he feels the same way,” I reply.
“Come on girl, what is the problem? I mean next time you see him in the club just speak to him, tell him you were mad and you are indeed in love with him,” he says, “problem solved, happy ever after,” he adds smiling to himself.
“Hang on there, love guru, there is still more,” I explain.
“Fuck, Shona, you love to make relationships over complicated. KISS, keep it simple stupid… it works for me, let me tell yo
u,” David says.
“The problem is, it is a big problem, and maybe one I am not able to fix,” I reply.
“What could you do that would be hard to fix?” David asks.
“I may have told him to stop visiting me,” I say.
“Ah, that does change things slightly,” he replies.
“I know, I am a dumb idiot sometimes, I am not sure why I didn’t just tell him how I feel.”
“You may be dumb, but an idiot you are not, get that out of your mind for starters,” David says.
We chat some more, and I tell David what was fully said in the conversation I had with Beau, and then I explain to him how different he was than all the other punters. But now the only problem I have is finding him to tell him.
I sit and think, where, or how will I find out how to locate him so I can let him know? We are never given their address to safeguard their privacy, and they never really divulge that sort of information to us when we are with them.
“Shona, there is always a solution, we just have to find it, but let us get everything straight first before we proceed, or else we could end up with a worse situation than we started with,” David replies, “get some more coffee and I will think about what you have said so far,” David says as he urges me towards the counter.
I glance around the café, but while waiting for the drinks I was expecting David to be deep in thought. I see him doing his makeup in his mirror. I grab the coffees and walk back to the table.
“I thought you were going to be thinking,” I say to David.
“I was thinking, why you ask?”
“You were doing you God-damned makeup,” I reply.
“Dear, I can concentrate when I do that, do you know how hard it is to do makeup when you are distracted?”
“We have a situation where you have a John, or Beau as I should call him, we think is in love with you, right? And we also know you are in love with him, or falling in love with him,” he says, “now all we have to do, is find him,” he adds.
“I have no idea where he goes, or what he does,” I reply.
Manic Monday: The Billionaires Temptations Page 8
