“Do you still feel like you made the right decision?” I ask and I hold my breath not sure I’m ready to hear the answer. She seems to be happy but I know how hard the early days were for her and how much she doubted her choice.
“Yes, I do. It’s not easy all the time but it’s worth it.” Her gaze is clear and sure. “I made the right call, I’m just sorry that I didn’t know it soon enough to avoid hurting you.”
And here we are at the crossroads and I know where I want to go. I just need to know if she is with me.
“Carlisle I understand better how it all went to hell. It’s in the past and we are here now and I don’t want to waste time going over and over what we could have done differently or better or whatever. I just want you.”
“I want you too.” She hesitates, her eyes cloudy with the uncertainty our past put there and I regret it. “Do you think we can just start over?”
“I don’t want to start over. I want to begin again. Brand new as the people we are now, living with the choices we made in the past and choosing to be here together now.”
A tear hovers on her lashes and splashes down her cheek and I lean forward, kissing it away.
“I’m not the same woman I was before Mateo. My body…”
“Carlisle, you can tell me anything. If we are going to be together we have to be honest with each other, shares our worries and our fears. I don’t want what we had before, I want all of you sharing everything with me and I will do the same.”
I think I know what she’s worried about, the physical side of us after her injury. I’ve done my research and I’m sure I know what to expect but I want her to confide in me, to share. It’s a huge step and the tightness in my chest releases when she takes it.
“My body needs help to function. It’s getting better and the doctors think that I will eventually get beyond needing the assistance but I have to use enemas and catheters to maintain my health. Sex is completely on the table and I want it but I need help with lube and extra stimulation to have an orgasm. It’s not a lot in my opinion but for some guys it might be too much. I don’t know if it’s too much for you.”
Her hands are lying flat on the table in between us and it is the most natural thing in the world for me to put my hands in them and hold on tight.
“Carlisle, when I came back to you the night I found out about the surgery it was because it is impossible for me to be without you. I decided before I even got in the car that it didn’t matter how it turned out, I was prepared to be by your side until one of takes our last breath. None of that has changed in all this time and it never will. It will never matter to me if you are on your own two feet or in a wheelchair or if we have to buy out the adult toy store and a lube factory to make sure you have everything you want and need in bed. I love you, Tesoro and you are perfect to me.”
She’s crying full-on now and I release her hands to cup her face and kiss away the tears. Her eyelashes, her cheeks, and finally her mouth. Sweet, drugging kisses that leave both of us breathless and laughing.
“I love you, Teo.”
And once again, that’s all I need to hear.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mateo
I haven’t been this nervous on a date since I was a teenager.
Carlisle’s new place is really nice. The twenty-four hour guard had my name at the front desk and buzzed me into the elevator that shot straight to her floor. I clutch my gifts in my hands and second-guess myself yet another time. I think what I brought is okay considering the step we took yesterday and I hope it will help us have a new beginning. New memories. New understanding. New commitment.
The elevator doors open and I am facing the long hallway. I swallow down the nerves fluttering around in my belly and take one step and then the next until I find myself at her door. I press the button and wait. The lock turns, the handle moves, and the door sweeps open.
At first I see no one and then I look down. Carlisle looks up at me from her wheelchair and the smile she gives me is tentative, her eyes questioning.
“It’s a wheelchair day,” I observe, using her own words and I relax when relief crosses her features and her eyes sparkle. She wasn’t sure how I would react and that makes my heart hurt a little.
We might have come so far but we still have a ways to go. Mateo and Carlisle are still a work-in-progress.
“I had a fundraiser this morning and I walked a lot. My legs are a little tired,” she explains and then, “Come on in. Dinner is keeping warm in the oven. I hope you like lasagna,” she says as she maneuvers her chair through the entryway and into her place. The living room is floor-to-ceiling windows and we’ve got the Nashville skyline lit up like a Christmas at our feet. I stop and stare.
“Oh my God. This is gorgeous.” I look over at her and smile. “Quite a change from your last place. You stopped slumming.”
She tosses her hair back over her shoulder and makes a face. “You sound like Livvy.”
“And she’s right.” I hand her one of the packages I have in my hand. “A housewarming gift.”
“You didn’t have to but since I love presents, I’ll take it.” She snatches it out of my hand wheels over to the living space, motioning for me to take a seat next to her. The way she has her sofa arranged, with one side armless she can roll her chair up and its like we’re sitting side-by-side.
I lower myself to the cushions and watch her as she rips off the paper. I know what’s inside the wrapping paper, so I focus on her. The way her emerald eyes are glowing, her red-gold hair longer and draped around her shoulders like a veil. Yesterday when we kissed, the caress of it’s silk on my skin was luxurious.
“You’re gorgeous,” I blurt out and she stops what’s she’s doing, meeting my eyes.
“What?”
“You’re just the most fucking beautiful thing I have ever seen in my whole life and I can’t stop looking at you.” I grin, unapologetic in my adoration.
I could play it cool but I’m not. She’s the one for me. I know it. She knows it.
“Teo… ”
“Open your present,” I urge and she watches me for a few seconds before looking back down and pulling off the rest of the wrapping paper.
She stares at it for a moment, confusion on her features and then her face lights up. She smiles as she runs her fingers over the framed t-shirt.
“It’s from the concert… our first ‘non date’.”
“I bought it and forgot to give it to you. I kept it so… ” I feel kind of stupid now that I’ve given it to her. “I thought you might want it.”
“I love it,” she says and holds it to her chest, her smile genuine. “That is an excellent memory.”
“Yeah the show was great.”
“I wasn’t talking about the show,” she says and my body reacts to the sultry lilt to her words.
We stare at each other. There’s so much electricity pulsing between us that I fully expect the appliances in her kitchen to short out. I lean over and she leans in, the first brush of our mouths sparking with static. We pull back and look each other, laughing.
“I’ve never laughed with anyone like I do with you,” I murmur, zooming back in for a new press of our lips.
She’s still smiling when our lips meet and when I press forward to part her lips with my tongue, it is effortless. Natural. It’s like there was never a gap.
I feel her hand reach out to grab my shirt and pull me closer, she tilts her head so I can have better access to her mouth. I take what she is offering to me, indulging my need to reconnect with her this way with sweeps of my tongue, nibbles on her lips.
I pull back and make eye contact with her, leaning forward to hook my arm under her legs and she loops her arms around my neck. I position her in my lap, the full body contact intensifying the kisses when I lean back in for more.
We make out on the couch like teenagers. Hands roaming over clothes at first and then she starts unbuttoning my shirt and caressing my chest with her cool fingers. I car
ess her back, rubbing circles downward until I each the hem of her blouse and burrow underneath, coasting my palm against the silken skin. The bra strap interrupts my journey so I open the clasp and expose her entire back to my exploration.
She’s thinner but more muscular and I love the play of her muscles underneath my touch. Carlisle is raking her fingernails against my chest, over my nipples and I groan, releasing her from the kiss as I run my mouth over the place where her shirt has slipped off. A bite to the place where her shoulder meets her neck and she’s gasping. Soft pants of desire against my hair as I continue my tasting tour along the column of her neck.
“You are perfect. A dream,” I whisper when I reach the tender shell of her ear.
Carlisle reaches around and grabs my hand under her shirt and I pull back, thinking she is going to move it away but instead she drags it to the front and places it on her breast. I look up and meet her eyes, making sure we’re on the same page.
“Mateo, touch me please. It’s been too long,” she whispers against my mouth, her tongue tracing my bottom lip before she dives in for another kiss.
I move my hand upward and cup the heavy weight of her breast in my palm. Skimming my thumb lightly over her nipple. Carlisle’s fingernails dig into my bicep, my back, as she arches into my touch, begging me for more.
I want to give her whatever she wants but not on this couch.
“I’m not going to do this for the first time on your sofa. May I take you to bed?” I ask, staring down at her so that I can see every nuance of emotion on her face. “I know this is fast. We don’t… ”
“I want to try this with you, Teo. I want you in my bed and in my life. Please.”
She doesn’t have to ask me twice. I adjust my grip on her body and stand, at the last minute remembering my other gift. “Lean over and grab that please.”
She does as I ask, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “What’s this?”
“Something to help us navigate this new beginning.”
“You bought me a GPS?” She teases and I grin back. Laughter and sex and Carlisle always seem to go together for me.
“In a way. You’ll see.”
I walk into the bedroom stopping just over the threshold to look around. It’s a large room with the bold splashes of color on a dove gray background. The bed is set along one wall, the floor-to-ceiling windows covering another, a bathroom and closet taking up the rest of the space. I stare at the bed, doubt that this is the right time clouds my mind.
Carlisle’s fingertips under my chin guide my gaze back to her own. It’s like she can read my mind because she smiles at me and assures me, “I want this Mateo.”
“Is there anything you need to do before we do this Carlisle? Can I help you?” I don’t know how she’ll react to my question; don’t know if it will kill the mood blooming between us.
She shakes her head. “Not tonight. I took care of it earlier but I might need help later.”
Her admission makes my chest hurt. I know how hard it is for her to ask for help, it was one of the things that brought us down before. But we both want this to work, we want to be together and that requires us to be different. To begin now.
I lower her to the bed and step back, watching her as I slowly unbutton the rest of my shirt. She leans back on her elbows, ogling me with a sexy, mischievous smile on her lips
“I like the view,” she says, reaching over her head to grab the back of her shirt and pull it off, tossing it to the floor. I mimic her behavior and she leers with a sexy grin. “Keep going. It gets better and better by the minute.”
“Pevert.”
“But I’m your pervert,” she says and throws off her bra.
That stops me with my jeans unbuttoned, my fly undone. I stare and then drop to my knees at her feet, diving in to take one of her rose-colored nipples in my mouth.
“You have gorgeous tits. I have always loved your tits,” I mumble as I trace a path of kisses across her collarbone and take the other one in my mouth for lavish attention.
Carlisle’s fingers are in my hair, holding me in place as I devour her. She starts the panting, the moaning that haunted my dreams for ten months. I’m so hard for her that I jump when her hand drops to my crotch and inserts itself inside my jeans to stroke me. I throw my head back enjoying the sensation, thrusting into her grip as my blood heats up.
It feels good and I want it continue but this first time has to be more about her than me. I need to show her that although we might have to find new ways of enjoying each other, we will still be combustible in bed. I need to show her that she is enough and will always be for me.
I pull back and move her hand away. “Get undressed. I want to make you feel good.”
I shuck off my jeans and watch as she removes her skirt and them scoots back on the bed until she is naked and fully open to me in the middle. I reach down and open the package that I brought with me, handing the contents over to her with a smile.
“You told me that we might have to be creative and I took you at your word.”
***
Carlisle
I look down at what Mateo has placed in my hand and try to figure out what it is.
A wrist band, similar to the kind you use to strap your iPod to your arm when you run. From it’s black material emerges two wires that lead to a set of pads that fit over the fingertips.
“Here let me show you,” Mateo says, kneeling naked next me on the bed, his body distracting me from what he’s doing. Ten months has not changed him at all. Skin still tan, hair dark, muscles everywhere a man is supposed to have them. If I wasn’t really curious about what he brought me, I’d be exploring him up close and personal right now.
He fastens the wristband over his wrist and slips the pads over his fingers and presses a button on the band. A slight vibration sound fills the air between us and he reaches out to cup my breast.
“How does this feel?” He asks as he lightly runs his fingers over my skin. I react immediately, goosebumps running up and down my skin and then a jolt of electricity that runs straight to my sex when he glances it over a nipple.
“Holy hell,” I gasp and clutch at his shoulder when he makes another pass at my nipple. “That’s amazing.”
“Can you feel it? I know you said that you needed more pressure more intense sensation. Is this enough?”
I open my eyes and look at the blue eyes of the most generous lover, the most perfect partner anybody could ask for.
“It’s amazing,” I say and cup his face in my hands, pressing our foreheads together, a replica of what he does that drives me crazy. “And you are amazing. I love you Mateo.”
“I love you too. I’ll do anything for you, Tesoro. All you have to do is ask.”
“Come here and fuck me, Teo. It’s been too long.” I lean back on the bed and shift my legs, spreading them for him in invitation. I worry briefly that the heaviness in my limbs makes my movement more awkward than sexy but one look at Mateo’s face erases that doubt from my mind. He’s hungry for me and I can’t wait for him to eat me up.
Mateo crawls up between my legs, leaning over to kiss me. Slow kisses, with deep tongue and tender nips that build our passion again. I run my hands over his back, down his chest, stroking his cock and reveling in the way his hips buck into my palm. He’s leaking pre-come and it makes the glides slicker, my thumb rubbed over his head makes his whole body jump and we laugh softly.
“Two can play at that game,” he growls against the sensitive skin just below my ear before he travels down my body. He presses soft kisses on my breasts, soft licks against nipples that make me squirm with the jolts of pleasure that shoot to my sex. I’m aroused, to a point more intense than where I’ve gotten on my own and watching Teo kissing down my belly spikes it even higher. I push the worry to the back of mind and just enjoy every moment with my lover.
He gives me one long look from his place between my legs before he dips his head and gives my entire sex a long lick that ends with a s
wirl on my clit. I arch off the bed a little, surprised by the amount of sensation I am feeling from such a gentle touch.
“Feel good?” He asks and when I nod he smirks. “Let’s see how this is for you.”
And then the pad on one of his fingers joins his mouth and I’m clutching at my comforter, twisting it in my grip as I cry out. Mateo groans and I reach down to cup the back of his head. It’s intense, powerful and delicious. I’m too busy reveling in it to compare it whatever it was like before.
“Oh my God, don’t stop. Please.”
I look down to enjoy the view of this man pleasuring me with his mouth, His dark, sleek body writhing as he grinds his cock against the bed as I fuck up into his mouth. Its heaven and hell and I don’t want to be anywhere else right now. An orgasm is building and I strain to reach it, a frustrated moan escaping my lips.
“Play with your nipples. Get your fingers real wet and play with them for me. I’ll get you there Carlisle.”
Mateo’s eyes are a dark navy as he watches me follow his directions. Two fingers in my mouth, spit slick and twisting the sensitive tips before he finally resumes eating me out. He never takes his eyes off me and his eyes are the last things I see before I close my eyes when I come.
Fireworks. Shooting stars. An entire universe exploding behind my eyelids as I writhe against his mouth, against the vibrator before I even start to float back to Earth.
He crawls up my body, taking off the vibrator and setting it to side of us on the bed before he leans down and kisses me. Thorough. Wet. Deep. Passionate. I throw my arms around his neck, keeping him close, pulling him down on top of me, relishing the weight of him on me, my taste in his mouth.
“Was it good?” he asks, his worry plain in the tone of his voice.
I grasp his face and force him to look at me. “It was amazing. Perfect.”
“Thank God,” he breathes and lowers his forehead to mine, his nose rubbing mine before leaning down to kiss me again.
Salvation (Nashville Nights #2) Page 19
