He'd simply had a good idea, that was all. A plan which would have benefited them both. But if she didn't see it that way, it was her privilege to turn down the offer.
"If you're finished," he told Jennifer, "put your plate in the dishwasher and get your coat on."
Anyway, it wasn't as if there weren't other women, he thought. And though it sounded a little vain even to think about it, the fact was that plenty of those women would appreciate the very package that Paige had so contemptuously turned down.
"Don't forget your backpack, Jen," he added automatically.
Not every woman in the world would find what he had to offer overwhelmingly attractive, of course; he wasn't arrogant enough to think that. But he wasn't exactly hard on the eyes. He was a good provider. His daughter was well-behaved and even charming.
Yes, he'd have a choice.
He'd felt it was only right to make the offer to Paige first, that was all. But now that she'd turned him down, he'd simply start looking around. And when Paige realized what he was doing-
He pulled himself up short. Changing Paige's mind, he told himself, was not the goal.
In the lobby, Jennifer balked. "I'm cold," she complained.
"I didn't notice the weather bothering you when you were playing in the snow at Paige's house."
Her big brown eyes were accusing. "Things were different at Paige's. There's no snow I can play in here, and I can't even have my cat."
He squatted to her level and tied the hood of her coat. "Maybe we can fix a couple of those things. If we went to live in a house-"
Behind him, Tricia Cade said, "A house? Do you mean you're unhappy here, Austin?"
He smothered a sigh. Had the woman been lurking in the hallway, waiting for them to come down?
He ought to have known better than to take her to Sabrina's party. Now every time he turned around, Tricia Cade was lying in wait for him. He supposed it was no more than he deserved.
He stood up. "Aspen Towers is great, Tricia. But you heard Jennifer-no snow to play in, no cats allowed."
“Also no lawn to take care of, no roof to fix, no leaves to rake..."
He shrugged. "Those things might be kind of fun."
Tricia gave a patronizing laugh which didn't go well with her sultry tone. "I see I'll have to do some work to convince you that this is where you want to be."
He saw Jennifer roll her eyes, and he seized her by the top of her hood and hauled her out to the car before she could start making gagging noises.
"What kind of a house?" Jennifer asked.
"I don't know. We'll have to see what's for sale."
"I like Paige's house."
"Paige's house is not one of the choices." He said it as pleasantly as he could, but his voice was firm nevertheless. There would be no kindness to the child in allowing her to cherish impossible illusions.
Jennifer settled into her seat and stuck her lower lip out.
Austin recognized the pose. His daughter knew quite well that she wasn't going to get what she wanted, and she was too dignified to throw a useless tantrum. She was, however, making sure he realized that his decision had absolutely destroyed any chance of her ever being happy again.
Usually she held out for ten minutes or so, and then she'd get distracted and forget whatever it was that had been so important. This time, he expected, the treatment would last a little longer. But Jennifer would get over it and move on.
Just as he had.
He congratulated himself. He'd made his decision to cut his losses, and he'd started to look around at the alternatives.
Of course, the first candidate who'd appeared fell a great deal short of the requirements. The woman he wanted to marry was nothing like Tricia Cade. He was looking for someone who was gentle, caring, and able to laugh even at her own expense. Not the clinging vine type. Interested in people and things, and interesting to be with. She had to be fond of his daughter, and-of course-of him.
And as long as he was making a list, he thought wryly, he might as well go all the way; she didn't have to be a beauty queen, but if she was nicely shaped and sexy as hell, that wouldn't hurt his feelings, either. In fact, now that he thought about it, his ideal woman wasn't at all hard to picture. If he closed his eyes and visualized her...
He saw Paige.
Paige, with the friends who were closer to her than sisters. Paige, bending over Jennifer in the snow. Paige, looking up at him last night, in the instant when he'd thought he saw desire in her eyes...
You 're just ticked off because she turned you down, he told himself. Get over it, Weaver.
But a little voice at the back of his brain whispered, Do you really think you can?
Austin didn't realize till he tried to go through the security checkpoint in the atrium lobby that he'd left his identification pass at home. He knew exactly where it was. He could picture it, lying between a pair of onyx cufflinks and the note, still unsigned, which Jennifer was supposed to have taken back to the academy today so she could go on a field trip with her class.
Unfortunately, the security guard was in no mood to trust Austin's word. He pulled out his driver's license, but it only served to confuse the issue when the guard wanted to know why it had been issued in Georgia if Austin really worked in Colorado. A second guard appeared; Austin started over.
He was still embroiled in the discussion when Caleb came through the main door, pulled off his motorcycle helmet, flashed his pass at the guard, and stopped dead at the sight of his new CEO in the grip of security. "Having a little problem, are we?" he asked genially.
"It would be helpful if you would tell them who I am," Austin said, trying not to grit his teeth.
"You mean vouch for your character? Sure. Hey, guys, let him through. He'll bring in two ID passes tomorrow, just to make you happy."
Austin stepped through the checkpoint.
"I just hope you don't mind if they have two different names on them," Caleb said over his shoulder. He grinned at Austin. "I told you the staff wouldn't like your new security measures. I just didn't expect you to be the first one to make a fuss."
"All right," Austin admitted. "Maybe I went a little too far in protecting the place. Is that what you want to hear?"
"No, I'm more interested in why you don't have your pass. Forgetting things is the first symptom, as I recall." "The first symptom of what?"
"Rent-A-Wife syndrome. Want to stop in the cafeteria and get a doughnut?"
Austin shuddered. "I tried one yesterday, thanks. Paige is right, we have to do something about the cafeteria."
"And that's the second symptom. Bringing her name into the conversation at every opportunity."
Austin decided to ignore the implication. Caleb was only fishing for information, anyway; Sabrina had no doubt put him up to it. "I didn't expect to see you anywhere near this place today."
"My beautiful bride got saddled with answering Rent-A-Wife's phones, so I figured I might as well stay out of her way." Caleb followed Austin into the corner office.
"I thought Paige's mother usually took care of that."
Caleb grinned. "There's that second symptom again. She does, except today Eileen's in the hospital."
Austin was startled. "But - When did that happen?"
"Sometime last night, obviously. Probably about the time Paige got home. Whenever that was."
Austin let the innuendo pass. "Which hospital?" He saw Caleb's eyebrow lift and said irritably, "I thought I'd send flowers."
Caleb unzipped the tight sleeves of his black leather jacket and sat down, propping his boots on the corner of the desk. "I should have warned you as soon as you came on board," he said. "About this Rent-A-Wife business, I mean. At first, it's just a casual thing. Handy. Sensible. But if you aren't careful, the next thing you know you're signing a purchase agreement."
Austin grinned. "It can't be the worst idea of all time. You did it."
"This head over heels business," Caleb mused, "is the most uncomfortable feeling in
the world. Sort of like being hungry all the time, but there's only one dish that will satisfy the appetite. But why am I telling you all this? You obviously already know it." He took his feet off the desk, picked up his helmet, and went out. He was whistling.
Only one dish that will satisfy...
It was long past time to admit the truth, Austin told himself. Caleb had rubbed his nose in the facts just now, but he hadn't revealed anything new-just things Austin was already aware of but hadn't wanted to face.
It wasn't just Tricia Cade he'd rejected this morning, when he'd so blithely run down his list of requirements for a wife. It was every woman in the world who wasn't Paige.
And there was nothing new about that fact, either. He hadn't invited Tricia to Sabrina's party because she was the only woman he'd met in the short time he'd been back in Denver. He'd invited her because he was well aware that Paige didn't like her-and because he'd been piqued because Paige would rather spend the evening with a five-year-old than with him.
Even that long ago, he'd been feeling the hunger.
Only one dish that will satisfy... But the woman whose taste he craved had turned him down flat. Now the question was, what was he going to do about it?
When the therapist came to give Eileen a treatment to help her breathe more easily, Paige paced the halls for a while and came back with yet another cup of muddy hospital coffee. She didn't want it, but holding the cup gave her something to do.
As she turned the corner nearest Eileen's room, she ran almost headlong into Austin. Her heart rocked with surprise and sudden joy, followed with lightning speed by pain. Why did he have to come here? And why - with her decision made - did she still want to stare at him, to absorb every detail?
Her mother's words echoed through Paige's mind. The way you look at him...
If Eileen had noticed, then Paige must be additionally careful around Austin. If he recognized the longing that lay so deep within her, Paige wasn't sure she could bear to see pity in his eyes. On the other hand, if he didn't observe what she was feeling, it would be because he hadn't bothered to really look at her-and that would almost be worse yet.
"How's your mother doing?" he asked.
"She'll probably be home tomorrow. We caught it in time, before it developed into pneumonia." She turned toward the child standing beside him. Jennifer was holding an enormous, dense fern, the pot hugged to her chest with both arms and the foliage almost hiding her face. "I've never seen a plant with legs before, Austin," Paige mused. "What kind of a florist sold you that?"
Jennifer giggled. "It's me, silly."
Paige made a show of parting the foliage to make sure the child was really there. “Well, come in and set it down. Eileen's pretty tired, though."
Jennifer nodded earnestly. "Daddy told me she would be." She slid sideways through the half-open door. "Hi, Eileen. I brought you a plant. I picked it out myself."
Eileen's voice was softer than Paige had ever heard it. "It's beautiful, dear. Put it down and come sit with me - and wait till you hear about your cat."
As Paige started into the room, Austin stepped into her path. "Wait just a minute. Please. I know you said you didn't want to hear another word, but I can't let it rest there. I realize this isn't the time or the place-"
"You're right about that much," Paige said dryly. Behind her, a man cleared his throat. Another therapist, she thought. "We're blocking the door, Austin."
The man said, sounding very cautious, "Is this Mrs. McDermott's room?"
She recognized the voice-but this was the last place she'd have expected to hear it. What was Ben Orcutt doing standing outside Eileen's hospital room?
She turned, and her eyes widened at the sight of Ben, wearing the loudest combination of suit, shirt, and tie she'd ever seen, clutching a handful of flowers. She nodded; speech was beyond her.
Ben thanked her politely and went in.
"I didn't know Eileen had an admirer," Austin said.
"Neither did I. Those flowers you didn't send - I wonder..." That had been the day after the dishwashing lesson, she recalled.
From beyond the door, Jennifer said cheerfully, “Hello, Mr. Orcutt."
Austin's eyebrows rose. "That was Ben Orcutt?"
"Eileen, my dear," Ben said. "When I called you to arrange a time for our special dinner, someone else answered and told me you were here. What happened?"
Paige wondered if she was possibly hearing right. Our special dinner? "If he has the nerve to use the gift certificate I gave him to throw a dinner party for my mother-"
"Any reason he shouldn't?" Austin asked. "If it was a gift, he can use it any way he likes. Or are you really saying he shouldn't be hanging around Eileen at all? Because if that's what you're thinking, Paige, you need to step back and take a good look at yourself."
She glared at him. “If you're implying that I want her to be dependent on me for some sick reason of my own-"
"No. I think you're just shocked to find that there's more to the old girl than you realized." Austin's voice softened. "I was wrong last night, Paige. Your mother does need you-at least sometimes. But I'm not asking you to leave her. You don't have to choose."
Paige shook her head. "There isn't any choice to make."
"Isn't there?" He moved a little closer. "Please give me another chance, Paige. I said it all wrong last night, and-"
A nurse came down the corridor to Eileen's room, and they stepped aside to let her through.
"If we could go someplace quiet," Austin said wryly, "and just talk... I don't mean right now, of course, but when your mother's better. Just please don't shut me out in the meantime, Paige. Give me a chance-"
"How flattering." Her throat felt tight. "You sound quite desperate - as if you need me."
His hands clamped on her shoulders. "I do need you. You have no idea-"
She looked him straight in the eye. "No, Austin. You don't need anyone. Not anyone human, anyway. What you need is a robot-a nicely programmed robot with interchangeable circuit boards."
She shrugged out of his grasp and turned toward Eileen's room. Then, as if it were an afterthought, she looked back at him. "Maybe that's Tanner's next big project," she said. "The one that will really make millions. There must be lots of guys like you who don't know the difference between one woman and another. Certainly enough to make the project a smashing success!"
It was a great exit line. She only wished she could stop trembling long enough to enjoy her triumph.
When it came to party planning, Paige thought, the last-minute details were always the worst. Inevitably, something went wrong. The caterer messed up, or the decorations sagged, or the rented furniture didn't arrive on time, or the linens didn't fit.
Or, she thought with foreboding when she caught a glimpse of Austin crossing the atrium toward her, the host decided at the last moment to micro-manage the whole affair-having second thoughts about the menu or wanting to add games to the program. On the other hand, if he was to decide right now to call the whole thing off, it wouldn't hurt her feelings in the least.
She didn't look at him but concentrated on the silvery bells and ribbons on the centerpiece she was putting into place. "If there's something you don't like," she said, "forget it. It's too late to make changes."
From the corner of her eye she noted that he looked around as if for the first time. "No, everything looks fine. I just came to ask if there's anything I can do to help."
"Last week," Paige said acidly, "yes. Yesterday, yes. Today - just stay out of my way."
"How about afterward?"
"After the party?" She eyed him narrowly. "If you wouldn't mind being a bit more specific about what you have in mind-"
Austin's voice was wry. "I was just asking if you need help with the mess afterwards. You needn't fret about hidden meanings, Paige. You made it quite clear that you have no intention of making time for that little chat I asked for."
Sanity reasserted itself. After all, Austin wasn't a fool. He knew there was n
o point in insisting on another talk when it would change nothing.
It was completely beside the point that something deep inside her wanted him to insist.
"There won't be any mess afterward," she said briskly. "The party cleanup's already arranged. I'll have to stick around to supervise till the bitter end, but there isn't a thing for anyone else to do. And the moment that's done I'm going home to a tub of bubbles, and I'm not getting out for days."
There, she thought. That should make it clear that she wasn't inviting him to stick around and keep her company, either.
"How very efficient you are," he murmured.
Paige didn't think he meant it as a compliment. "And creative, too," she said sweetly. "Don't you like how I turned your new security desk into a platform for the Christmas tree? Right there in the middle-it's the perfect place for it. Plus I saved Tanner a bundle of money because by putting it up so high I could get by with a much smaller tree and still have the same dramatic effect as a twenty-five-foot one would have."
"The guards don't seem to like it too well," Austin pointed out.
"Too bad. Tell them to stop acting like secret agents for a change and enjoy the party."
Paige wished she could have obeyed her own orders. But there was too much to do-and in the slack moments, there were too many memories to allow her to relax. She watched from a distance as Jennifer perched on Santa Claus' lap, and wondered what she was requesting for Christmas. She watched as the child slid down and ran to her father, and she felt a stab of jealousy at the way Austin swung her up for a hug, with love showing in every line of his body.
I made the only decision I could, she told herself. It would have killed me to live with him, loving him and knowing he doesn't love me.
But the knowledge was cold comfort indeed.
The last cleanup crew finished their work; the last truck full of garbage pulled away. In the silent atrium, Paige made her final inspection, making sure that no scrap of paper, no punch cup, no crushed ribbon, no strand of tinsel had been left behind.
The Christmas tree had been moved from atop the security desk to the out-of-the-way spot at the bend of the staircase, where it would stay till the season was finished. A silent guard walked through the atrium and eyed her with professional suspicion. Paige felt like thumbing her nose at him.
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