When it comes time for Adams band to get on stage, I am practically jumping up and down from excitement and I can’t wait to hear them play. The name of his band is called Second Chances and I love them already.
“Hi everyone! Thanks so much for coming out, and I hope you enjoy the show. Tonight’s show is dedicated to my Dad, he was a very special man, and he instilled in me my love of music, and also, to a very special girl in my life, Peaches.” He finds me in the crowd and flashes me that smile that I am starting to fall in love with. I practically swoon right there on the floor. God, what is Adam turning me into? Swooning is not something I ever saw myself doing. He said my dad was a very special man. I find myself wondering what happened to his dad.
The band starts up their first song and immediately the energy in the room goes up a notch. His band has an Indie/folk feel, but there is a bit of punk mixed in there as well. It sounds amazing. But my heart stops beating for the third time tonight when Adam opens his mouth to sing. His voice is absolutely beautiful. The emotion and the passion he is pouring into his songs bring tears to my eyes. The tone of his voice and his stage presence are vaguely familiar, yet I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe he reminds me of a band I’ve seen play here before. I find myself completely captivated by his music, and I tune everything else out around me except for the sound of his voice. I could stay here and listen to him sing for hours. The way the light is shining off of his hair makes him look like some sort an angel. It’s definitely a fitting analogy; his voice is the voice of an angel. Absolutely perfect. It’s like his singing and his voice sweep over me and calms me in a way I’ve never felt before. It’s a soothing balm for my dark and twisty soul.
But all too soon his portion of the show is over and he and his band members exit the stage. I scream and clap as loud as I can. God, they were amazing. I can’t wait to go find him and tell him how much I enjoyed his show. Once I spot Adam and his band I skip over to him and give him a big hug. I want to express to him how his music made me feel, I want him to know just what his voice and his music did to me.
“Damn, Adam, that was amazing. One of the best shows I’ve seen in a long time.” I can’t hide the ridiculous grin on my face.
“I saw you out there while I was performing, you couldn’t keep your eyes off my ass. Tell me, does this ass make you get all misty eyed, and get that dreamy look on your face?” He turns around and shows me his ass. I roll my eyes, god, he is a cocky son of a bitch.
I punch him in the arm. “Oh shut the hell up, your ass was the last things I was looking at.” Although if I’m being honest, I did notice the way his ass looks in his jeans. His jeans fall off his hips in the most perfect way, and I find myself wondering what he would look like with his shirt off. “Seriously though, your voice is beautiful, Adam. It was captivating listening to you sing. I could listen to you sing forever,” I add as an afterthought.
He beams down at me and soaks in my praise. He leans down and whispers in my ear. “You being here tonight means more to me than you will ever know. There is something about you Peaches, and each day I spend with you, I find myself liking you more and more.” He leans in and kisses my forehead.
“Bro, we killed it tonight. This is going to do great things to my image. The ladies can’t seem to get enough of me. You coming to the after-party at Max’s house? There will be a shit ton of hot girls, I have my eye on a couple groupies. I hope to bag at least three of them.” Bryan is talking to Adam, and I can’t help but gag a little bit on the inside. I hate the term bagging. Nothing about it sounds appealing.
“I often wonder why we are friends,” Adam says dryly.
“You wouldn’t know what to do without me. Admit it.”
Adam looks over at me and rolls his eyes. “It hurts, it physically hurts listening to him talk.”
“If you run into Jessie tonight at the party, you stay away from her. Any guy who uses the word bagging to describe a hook-up isn’t good enough for my friend,” I say jokingly, although I’m really not joking. Jessie will be at this after party Bryan is talking about, and any guy who uses the term bagging is not OK in my book.
“I can’t make you any promises, Abigail. I might not be able to restrain myself, but I’m pretty sure Max laid claim to that hot piece of ass this summer.”
I remember Jessie dancing with Max and her odd behavior towards him at the lunch table earlier this week. I wonder if she has seen him since. It’s not her usual style to talk to a guy again after spending the night with him. Why hasn’t she mentioned him to me?
“What do you mean, Max has laid claim to her?” I cock my head and wait for his answer.
“They got pretty close this past summer and they went out on a date last week, and something about Jessie has made Max go all caveman on her.”
Interesting. She never mentioned a date, nor do I remember her going off with anybody this summer. Brat. Have I been so caught up in my own life, that I’ve failed to notice something going on in her life? We need a girl’s weekend. Like yesterday.
“So, you in or not for the after-party, Adam?” Bryan is looking at him expectantly.
“Nah, man not tonight. I’m going to get Abigail home, it’s late,” Adam says.
My face falls when he says this. Shit. Shit. Shit. I forgot to tell Jessie to pick me up from the concert on her way to the party. Jessie mentioned she was going to the after party, but if she is already there she is probably too tipsy to come pick me up. I could get Adam to take me to the party, but I can guarantee Jessie is staying the night, and I’m not comfortable sleeping there. I was too nervous about tonight and it completely slipped my mind to arrange for her to get me. How did something so huge slip my mind? Adam is making me think irrationally, I can’t think straight when he’s involved. I don’t want Adam to take me home. I don’t think I’m ready to let him see that part of my world yet.
“What’s wrong Abigail? You look pale, is everything OK?” He has a concerned look on his face.
“I forgot to let Jessie know I needed a ride home tonight,” I say quietly.
“I was planning on taking you home anyway; you don’t need her to come pick you up.” He has one eyebrow raised, and he is looking at me a little confused.
“You, don’t understand. I don’t think it’s a good idea if you take me home. There are lot things you don’t know about me, and I’m not ready to share them with you yet. I like having you around, and I’m not ready to scare you off yet. Can you please just let me see if Jessie can take me home?” I ask pleadingly.
Adam has an incredulous look plastered on his face. “Peaches, there is nothing about you that can scare me away. I am not going to pry and ask about details you aren’t ready to share with me yet, but please know that there isn’t anything you can say that will scare me away.”
Darrell’s words from earlier come back to my mind, and I hope he’s right. I have a choice to make. I can choose to show him a glimpse of my fucked up life, and hope that he will still accept me. Or I can run away scared of what he might think of me. I stand staring at him for a long time, hoping that the right decision will just magically pop into my head.
“You can take me home, but only to the door, and then you have to leave. Just drop me off, and drive away. If you can do that, then you can take me home.” I sound more stern that I intended to. But I need him to understand that he is just dropping me off, and nothing else. I don’t want to risk running into my mother.
“If that’s the way you want it, then I will do what you ask. Can I at least stay until I know you get inside safely?”
If he knew that I have never felt safe in my home since I was 7 years old, he wouldn’t be asking that question. Ever since my dad was shot and killed, my mom has bouncers that stand at the door. They pat everyone down for weapons before you can enter the bar. But it doesn’t make me feel any safer. I can’t believe she kept us living in the same place my father was murdered. I feel like I relive the whole sick and twisted situation over and over
again. It’s like I can’t move on while we still live in the fucking bar he was murdered in.
“Just pull up and drop me off, please,” I say quietly. He is looking at me with a bemused look on his face. I can tell he wants to say more, but he chooses not to.
“Hey man, we are going to get out of here. I’ll see you tomorrow for practice.” He fist bumps Bryan and then we head to leave. Bryan blows me a kiss and I can’t help the groan that escapes from my lips. I hate people blowing kisses at me, it’s awkward.
“Hey, she’s mine. Back off.” Adam lightly shoves his friend. “I mean it, don’t look at her like that.”
“God, what is it with you and Max going all caveman on chicks at the same time. I can’t handle all this mushy cuteness. I need to go get laid.” Right after Bryan says that, a girl walks by and flashes him a teasing smile. “Well, this should be easy. See you guys later.”
“Charming, isn’t he?”
“Charming would not be the word I would use to describe Bryan. Maybe pig head, dick, asshole, womanizer, man whore, the list is endless,” I teasingly say.
“He really isn’t so bad once you peel back all the layers and break down some of those walls he has built around him. He didn’t have an easy upbringing. He was passed around from foster care to foster care, never really having a place to call home. His dad was a royal asshole and his mom left when he was three. We met our freshman year, and my mom kind of took him under her wing and gave him that motherly love he was missing. He will never let a girl get close enough to him because he’s scared he will never be good enough for anyone. He’s scared he will turn out like his old man. But you know what, Abigail? He’s the most loyal friend I have ever had. He would give me the shirt off his back if I needed it. He will find her one day, though. She will walk into his life and he won’t know what hit him. When he sees her he will find himself wanting to be a better man because of her. When he finds her, he will find himself not caring about any other girl, because the one he has standing in front of him will be so perfect, and so beautiful, that nothing else will matter.”
Wow. He is looking at me with such sincerity and I find myself wondering if he was talking about Bryan, or himself. My head is swimming with emotions, and I need a minute to sort my thoughts.
“Let me take you home.”
I nod my head and Adam grabs my hand and leads me towards his bike.
Well, here goes nothing. He is going to see that I live above a bar. Hopefully he doesn’t judge me for it, and I hope to god my mother is upstairs passed out. But then again god has never been on my side, so who knows what will await us once when we arrive.
Chapter 7
The drive to my house seems like it takes hours. In reality it’s only about a 15 minute drive. He drives more carefully this time, but I notice he still takes the corners way too fast. He’s such an ass. I try not to squeeze him, but I just can’t help it when he takes the turns as fast as he does. I have so much anxiety building up inside me that it’s hard to contain it all. I feel like I need to go for a run to clear my head and relieve some of my stress. I think I’ll do that once he leaves. I have never taken anyone to my house. No one except Jessie has ever seen where I live.
We round the corner and I tap his shoulder and point to my left signaling that we are here. He pulls up in front of the bar and turns off his bike. The bar is still pretty crowded, and a band is still performing inside. I can hear the music from outside and the music is familiar. This particular band plays a few times a month and I actually enjoy their music. The drummer is an old timer and I enjoy walking down to the bar and hearing his crazy stories. I doubt any of them are true, but they are exciting nonetheless. He tells them with such conviction that I can’t help but get lost in them.
I climb off the bike and take my helmet off and place it carefully on the back. He is sitting on his bike still and staring at the bar. Oh god, here we go. I want to know what he is thinking. When he turns to look at me his expression is sad, and guarded. Sadness was the last look I expected to see on his face, but the look he is giving me is a look I know all too well. I want to rush over to him and hug him and take away the sadness. Why does he look so sad?
“This is where you live? How long have you lived here?” He is still staring at me with sadness in his eyes, but there is a hint of shock there too.
“Yes, I live here, and I have lived at this bar my entire life. My mom and dad own this bar.” I say quietly and toss my hands up in the air. “This is why people don’t get to take me home; I don’t like people knowing anything about my personal life.”
“I, I can’t just drop you off and leave you, Peaches. I know I promised, but I can’t do it. I need to make sure you get inside OK. Please let me make sure you get inside all right. Or we can go back to my house and you can stay there with me. We have a guest room, and you would have your own bathroom. My mom works nights at the hospital so she won’t be home, but I know she wouldn’t mind you staying with us.”
He is talking very fast and pleading with me. Is he serious? I can’t go stay with him at his house. But a very small voice in the back of my head is screaming at me, why not! My feelings for Adam are not normal. Normal people don’t feel such a strong connection towards someone after knowing them only a week
“Adam, I have been living here every day since I was born. Most everyone who comes to this bar is a regular. I have about three very large, very scary men who make sure I get upstairs to my room OK, and nobody has ever bothered me.” The last part is a lie, and I try to sound convincing as I say it.
“If you won’t go home with me, can I at least walk you upstairs, and make sure you get inside OK? Please Abigail?”
“Adam, I said no. I don’t want you seeing anything that goes on up there, and you are not changing my mind. Now please go home, and I will talk to you later.” I try giving him my no nonsense attitude. I start to panic. This is starting to get too serious too fast. I need to shut it down. My shutters start to come down and I realize I can’t let this go on any further. I can’t risk him walking up and seeing my mother, or worse, her hitting on him. She has embarrassed me more times than I’d like to remember. But Adam is good, and sweet, and kind. I don’t want him anywhere near the mess that I call my life.
He stares at me a long time and then shakes his head like he understands. “Will you please call me once you get inside safely? Please.”
“I’ll think about it,” I say coldly.
Before I even realize what’s happening, Tiny walks up to us. He is anything but tiny; he’s the biggest guy I have ever seen. Tattoos cover both of his arms, his neck, and he has 3 teardrops by his eye. I’m not sure what that means, but I googled it once and what I read was scary. The words You're Next are tattooed across his knuckles. He’s very intimidating if you don’t know him, but to me he’s a big teddy bear. Tiny has been around ever since I was a baby.
“Is there a problem here, pumpkin? This asshole giving you any trouble?” he says in his deep, raspy voice.
I walk up and give him a small hug. “No Tiny, Adam was just dropping me off after the concerts tonight. His band was playing so I went and watched.” He is downright glaring at Adam, and sizing him up. I have never been on a date before, or brought any boy to the bar. I can tell this is hard for Tiny. He never had any children and I’m the closest thing to a daughter that he has. He reluctantly starts to step back and walk towards the bar.
“OK, you just shout at me if you need anything, I’ll be right over by the door.”
“I’m actually ready to go inside now, so if you give me a minute, I’ll walk inside with you.” Tiny gives me a small head nod, and then glares at Adam before walking away. Adam pales for the third time tonight. Poor guy is receiving looks left and right tonight. I don’t blame him for being scared. The guy is a fucking beast.
“Jesus, that’s three big scary men who have warned me not to mess with you. What are you, a part of the mafia or something?” he asks jokingly, but I think he’
s seriously asking.
I roll my eyes. “No, I am not part of the mafia. I guess these guys have known me since I was a baby and are looking out for me. So see, I will have an escort taking me inside. I will be fine, I promise. Now drive home safely, and I’ll talk to you later.”
I start to walk away, and head inside.
He glances up at the bar one more time and I can tell he’s having an internal battle with himself. “Abigail, the feelings I have for you scare the shit out of me. I know we have only known each other a week, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you. Please get inside safe, and I’ll be calling you once I get home to make sure you’re OK.”
“Drive safe on that death trap, Adam.” I give him a small smile and head towards the bar. Once I get inside I notice that it’s still a full house. The tables are packed with people, and the dance floor is full. Most everyone here is a regular, and me walking through the bar raises no eyebrows. I do a quick scan to see if I can spot my mom, but she isn’t anywhere down here. I make my way towards Tiny, and let him know that I’m heading upstairs and going to bed.
“I left you some dinner on the kitchen table, all you need to do it heat it up. And Abigail, she isn’t doing too well tonight. She was high on something and she brought some asshole upstairs, he left about 30 minutes ago, so it’s safe for you to go on up. He looked sketchy, but I haven’t been able to leave to go check on her yet.” He gives me a sympathetic smile. Great, after a wonderful night with Adam, I get to go take care of my mother. I so badly wish every day that my life was different. I wish I lived in a normal house, with a normal mother, and did normal teenage things. I would love more than anything to come home from my date and tell my mom all about it. But instead I get to go clean up the mess that awaits me.
Alive Page 5
