by Jessica Gray
“I don’t know. Can we play it by ear?”
“Of course, dear. If you’re not here, I’ll put a plate in the oven for you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Pearl hugged her mom and dad once more, then headed for the gym across town. She entered the pool house and watched as Coach Dawson gave the team in the water their final instructions for the upcoming meet.
When he was done, he lifted his head and met her stare across the pool. Pearl walked around the edge, nodding to her teammates as she passed them on their way to the showers. “Coach Dawson.”
“Davids. Why are you here?” His voice wasn’t unfriendly, but the tone of steel made her cringe.
“I came to talk to you about the upcoming season.”
He looked her over from head to toe and then nodded towards the shower. “Suit up.”
Pearl hid a smile, thinking how predictable he was. She’d known that if she even had a chance with him, he’d expect her to train on the spot. Her swim bag already waited for her in the locker room.
She was back by the pool five minutes later, ready and willing to take whatever he threw at her.
“Jump in and warm up,” he told her without taking his eyes off his phone.
She grinned at his back but dove in, swimming easily through the water lap after lap. Once her muscles were warmed up, she climbed from the pool and waited for further instructions. He finally looked up at her and then at the platform. “You been diving?”
Pearl shook her head. She could lie and say yes, but he’d know she was lying right away. “No. But I’ve been training and getting my strength back.”
He looked at her scar for the first time and then back at her eyes. “You think you can handle an easy dive?”
Pearl nodded, praying she wasn’t being over confidant. “Sure, Coach.”
“Forward dive in a pike position. Ten foot board.”
“No problem, Coach.” Her heart beat faster and trepidation almost didn’t allow her to move. To execute the requested dive, she’d have to keep her legs together, the muscles taut, and her body straight up and down.
She still couldn’t straighten out her knee all the way, making execution of the requested dive near impossible without a big splash. Climbing the ladder up to the platform was one of the hardest tasks she’d done in a long time. Her knuckles whitened at the tight grip on the bars and the last step to the platform cost her more emotionally than she’d imagined possible.
Once up, she took her position at the edge, schooled her breath and went into that quiet place that allowed her to focus on the upcoming dive. The seconds ticked by.
She didn’t look down. No. She looked straight ahead and then moved her feet forward, balancing on her toes, her heels lifting off the platform. She tightened her muscles, ignoring the pulling in her left leg. I can do this. Now!
In the perfect moment, she pushed up and out, moving her body into a pike position as she dove for the surface of the pool. Her body bowed slightly backwards just before she hit the water, and as she rose to the surface, she saw what she’d already sensed: a substantial wave. Amateurish even.
Coach Dawson’s face hardened as he waved her out of the pool. “Davids. What the hell was that?”
Pearl grimaced. “Awful first try? I have twelve-year-olds who could execute a better dive.”
“Perfectly right. Don’t ever dare to show me a dive like that again,” he growled.
“I’m just a little rusty. I’ve been training hard, and now that I’m back, I’ll add water work to my routine each day.”
“More than once a day,” he suggested in a tone that made it clear this was an order, not a suggestion.
“Anything you say. I train morning and night. I want this.”
“You’re not ready yet. Your left leg wouldn’t straighten all the way out. If I can see that, so can the judges.”
She knew that, but she would be ready in three months’ time for the first competition.
“It’s getting better every day. I can do this.” Pearl shoved her lower lip over the upper one and held his stare.
Coach Dawson looked at her and sighed. “I’ll make up a training plan for you tonight and leave it on the board. In two weeks from now, you’ll show me the three required dives for the first competition and they better be damn perfect. Otherwise, I won’t nominate you.”
“But…”
“This is the only offer on the table. You have two weeks. I suggest you don’t waste a minute of it.”
Pearl took a breath. “I need more time.”
“You don’t have it,” he informed her without emotion.
She gasped. Coach Dawson must be out of his mind. She was a good diver, but two weeks?
Before she could open her mouth, he pinned her with his stare and said, “Davids. I know you think I’m being a bastard about this, but if you can’t handle the required dives, you have no business up on that platform. It’s too dangerous and you know it.”
Of course, she knew that. This same thought had occupied her mind for the last months. Every. Single. Day.
Signaling defeat, she raised her hands. “Fine. What are the required dives?”
“They’re posted on the board.” With a glance to her leg, which made her squirm, he said, “There isn’t anything on that list that you couldn’t handle before the injury. The question is whether or not you can handle them now.”
“I can. And I will.” She turned to leave, but his voice called her back.
“Davids. I’m pulling for you. You’re one of the best high divers I’ve ever worked with.”
***
The next day, she practiced the required dives early in the morning, and then continued with her strength training, debating with herself whether or not she should call Chase.
No. Calling wouldn’t do the trick. It was a sunny day, around fifty degrees and she decided to drive out to the Outer Banks. During the two-hour drive, she almost turned around at least a hundred times, but her need to find Chase and apologize was bigger than her fear.
With sweating hands, she parked her car near the ocean and stepped out. The stiff breeze blowing in from the ocean made her shiver despite the sunshine. She put on her hoodie and wrapped her arms around herself.
At the famous kitesurfing spot, she observed more than a dozen kite surfers on the water, all of them in full wet suits, out of deference to the cool temperatures.
Sitting down on the sand with her binoculars pressed to her eyes, she searched for him. Bingo. His familiar frame came in sight and she marveled at his awesomeness. Her body got all hot and bothered as she watched him doing one crazy jump after another.
An hour passed while she sat on the beach, seeing his strength on the water and the way he controlled his kite board. She knew if she had any hope of ever getting him back, she had to give over control to him. What she didn’t know was whether she could actually do that.
She wanted him back, but at what cost?
Another two hours went by with Pearl sitting on the sand and staring at the man she loved. Alone with her thoughts and her doubts.
The constant breeze from the ocean penetrated her hoodie and her bones. But Pearl didn’t go back to the car and retrieve a jacket. She was too anxious to move. Frozen into place, she just sat there, staring out at the water.
Just when she thought she’d be permanently frozen to her spot on the sand, Chase brought his kite board into the shore. Glancing up and down the beach, she noticed it was only the two of them left. High Noon.
Chase walked in her direction and when he recognized her, his eyes widened in surprise. And even from the distance, the pain in his eyes almost knocked her over. It was so deep and profound.
His usually mischievous chocolate brown eyes had turned into dark pools of hurt. He turned his head away and stomped off in the opposite direction.
Pearl forced herself to get up, ignoring the pins and needles in her legs and feet as she rushed to intercept him. “Chase! Please wait!�
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Chapter 20
Chase’s body recognized her before his mind did. Just looking at her stirred up his insides with a hunger he hadn’t anticipated. He hated his response to her, but doubted he could do much about it.
His gaze narrowed. “What do you want?”
“A chance to apologize.” Her pleading look sent a flush of heat through his entire body. But he wasn’t willing to give in to that.
“Why didn’t you call?” he growled, taking a step backwards.
“I figured you wouldn’t talk to me.” The tension in her shoulders increased, but she didn’t move.
“And rightly so.” He warily watched her face.
Pearl squirmed beneath his cold stare and wrapped her arms around her torso. His resistance melted when he saw the chattering of her teeth and the slight blue tint around her mouth. “How long have you been out here?”
“I don’t know. A few hours.”
“Hours? Are you crazy, woman?” he demanded.
“I had to talk to you. I was afraid if I went back up to the car, you’d leave before…”
His heart lurched with hope, but moments later, he remembered the times she’d dumped him. No thanks. He couldn’t handle getting dumped by her one more time.
“Chase, please don’t make me beg.”
He almost grinned. He’d love her to beg him – aroused and naked in his bedroom. Not now.
“I won’t.” A maelstrom of emotions broke over him and he gasped for breath. He needed a timeout. One minute to clear his head. “Pearl, give me a minute to put away my gear. I’ll be right back.”
The agony that swept over her face when she nodded at him cut through his resolve and he had to turn away in order not to wrap her into his arms.
He carried his kite board and other gear to a nearby shed, stowed it away and then grabbed his fleece jacket, handing it to her. “Put this on.”
For a moment, he believed she’d reject his offer, because a stubborn glance etched into her eyes. But she gratefully took it, slipping her arms into the sleeves and holding the extra-large jacket around her body like a shield.
“Thank you.” Her voice was a mere whisper.
When she didn’t say another word, he nudged her with a warm and caring voice. “You wanted to talk.”
She took a deep breath and met his eyes. “Chase, I missed you so much. I was frightened out of my mind and turned you away. I can’t excuse my behavior, and I know I put you through a lot, but I’m hoping that maybe you could forgive me and give me another chance.”
The sincerity in her eyes got to him. And with every word she said, he felt his heart soften towards her. The sadness and anxiety her rejection had left behind slowly dissipated and by the time she finished her speech, only warm and positive feelings for her remained. He wanted her – in his bed and in his life with an intensity that shocked him.
He’d never felt this way before. He had the strongest urge to protect her and try to make everything right in her world. In that very moment, he realized he was in love with her. Just like that. It seemed so simple, so obvious.
“Pearl, I’ve missed you too, more than I ever thought possible. Those last days were like hell. But now you’re here and everything will be alright.”
He closed the distance to her and wrapped her into his arms, nearly crushing her with the force of his embrace. She pressed her body against his, molded them into one another.
This woman was all he’d ever dreamed of, and more. But there was one more thing he needed to know before they could make a fresh start.
He released her from his embrace, holding her at arm’s length and studying her sweet face. “Darling, I want to be with you. Every day of my life. And every night. But if we are to have a future together, you first need to be totally honest with me. I need to know the truth.”
“The truth about what?” she asked, her face a mixture of question and fear.
Chase pointed to her left leg. “The truth about your injury.”
He watched as the color drained from her face, terror washing over her as she took a brisk step back from him.
“You think I haven’t noticed the way you react whenever your injury is mentioned? Or the way you moved my hand away from your scar? Believe me, I’ve had my share of training injuries, and that scar sure as hell isn’t one.”
“But it is. I don’t know what else you want me to say,” she insisted, stubbornness replacing the terror in her eyes.
Chase physically felt the walls around his heart closed down. This was it. They were done here. He couldn’t have a future with a woman who didn’t trust him enough to tell him her biggest fear.
He glanced at her face and then dropped his eyes to her leg. Leaning close so that she wouldn’t miss a syllable, he told her, “Bullshit!”
Then he turned around and walked away.
Chapter 21
Pearl saw her future crashing down around her and called out to him in a panic. “Wait! Please, Chase. Wait!”
He turned around and stared at her, and she bit her bottom lip as she tried to work up enough courage to give him what he wanted. Full disclosure.
Her heart beat up in her throat, while he simply stood there, waiting for her to tell him the truth. She squirmed beneath his gaze, sweat forming in her palms. But while she was afraid, no terrorized, she could understand his point of view.
She cast her eyes down and took a deep breath. Or two. This was so difficult. Looking up, she nodded once. “Okay.”
Chase still didn’t soften his stance. On the contrary, he put his legs firmly onto the ground and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’m waiting.”
His stare was dark and cut right through her heart. Neither of them moved for long minutes. Pearl wanted to curse him for making it so hard for her, but a small portion of her brain actually took his side. He needs to make a point here. He needs you to trust him, before he can trust you again.
She sighed. “I really want to tell you, but…it’s so hard.” She heard the tears in her voice and swallowed to push them away. No weakness. I am not a victim.
His look softened and he uncrossed his arms. “Look, Pearl. If we want to have any chance of making this work, I need you to trust me. Enough to tell me your biggest fear.” He paused and swallowed. “These last few days without you I was miserable like hell. Without you, nothing matters, because I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Pearl gasped at his words and raised a hand to her lips, wondering if she’d heard them right.
He went on. “And while I don’t want to cause you pain, I’m not willing to let you dump me once again. I couldn’t handle it. And whatever secret you’re keeping from me is the reason you’ve shut me down. Right?”
Pearl nodded with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Sugar, that may be, but you still need to trust me enough to tell me what really happened.”
A warm flurry of butterflies started up in her stomach, as the impossibly hot and sexy man in front of her confessed his love for her. Her brain was a little slow to catch up, but when it did, she understood what her body had known all along. She loved Chase.
But apparently loving someone was not a piece of cake. The card makers had gotten it all wrong. It wasn’t all roses and picnics in the park like the advertisements tried to make one believe. No, love was hard work. It took trust and giving up control.
Trust. A simple five-letter word was the hardest thing in the world to do, she thought.
Looking at him, she sighed. If she blew it now, there wouldn’t be another chance.
“Can we walk, please?” She needed to move and try to hold herself together for what she was about to tell him. It was the only way she could hope to get through the next few minutes.
***
Chase saw her shivering and his heart broke for her. But he kept his distance. She needed to get her secret out in the open, and while he wanted to be there for her, he understood she needed to feel in control. And strong –
which she wouldn’t if he were to take her into his arms.
She started walking, and he dropped into step beside her. After a long time and several false starts, she finally started telling him her story.
“I was in Mexico. It was late night, after a competition. I insisted on walking back to the hotel to get a clear head. Two guys followed me and shoved me into an alley. I ran away from them, but one of them caught my leg and I fell, twisting it. I fell to the ground and one of the guys kicked me with his boots. One of the kicks went straight to my knee.”
She broke off on a sob as she remembered the horrible scene. Shuddering, she added, “The impact ripped the tendons from the bone. I can still hear the sound of them ripping even today. It was like a whip.”
Chase held back a curse and curled his hands into fists. He’d kill those bastards.
Pearl increased her pace, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her fingertips as she took a shuddery breath. “They were after my money. The other guy grabbed my wallet, and tore the watch from my wrist. He threw both of them towards the other guy, who turned to leave. I prayed they’d disappear.”
She stopped walking and bent over, her hands around her middle as she struggled to deal with the fear and memories. When she finally regained control of herself and straightened back up, she didn’t look at him and started walking again.
Chase muttered a curse. All he wanted was to pull her into his arms and soothe her pain. But she didn’t need easy. She needed the raw truth. She needed to tell her story and get rid of the fear and anger she’d been carrying around deep inside since her attack.
Sobbing, she continued, “But the worst was yet to come. The first guy seemed to change his mind and returned to where I lay. I wasn’t able to move. My leg hurt like hell. I watched him pull out a long knife.”
“Pearl.” Chase couldn’t stand to see her suffer any longer and grabbed her hand, but she shook it off.
“He turned on me, waving the knife in my face, and yelled at me in Spanish. I didn’t understand a word, but I could tell he was drunk, and I knew he was out to hurt me. I thought he’d kill me.”
