Hurt Me: A 'Me' Novel

by Jeri Williams

  “You wanna have some fun?” she purred in my ear, her hand inching closer. I’ll admit I was drunk, but I wasn’t that damn drunk. I stopped her hand from going any further and then threw her hand off. “I’m pretty sure I’m having enough fun on my own.” My body knew what my brain couldn’t comprehend at the moment; this wasn’t going down like that, it only came alive for one women.

  “Come on, baby, you’ve been here for hours. Why not have some fun?” She pushed her breasts into my side, rubbing on me like I was a fucking cat post.

  “I’m good, but why don’t you go hit up buddy by the door, he looks hard up and ready to fuck anything.” She gave me the evil eye, a fuck you, and left…in the direction of dude by the door. Thirsty bitches didn’t care where they got it; they just wanted it.

  “Well, well, how the mighty have fallen.” Matty leaned on the bar with the best shit-eating grin he could manage behind his fucked up noise.

  “The fuck you doing here?” I managed out. I thought he was still in Atlanta

  He looked at the bartender and gave him a nod. “Thanks for calling man.” He nodded and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing before he called my kid brother to pick me up. Fuck head.

  “Harley dump you?” Matty asked smugly like he expected that shit to happen.

  “Fuck you.” I got up to leave, fuck sitting here until I was sober enough to drive; I’d walk.

  “Come on, I’ll give you a ride.” The grin left his voice and for once, he was my caring younger brother. I thought about walking, until I mistook a step and almost busted my ass, making Matty heft me up. Good thing the motel was less than a mile up the road.

  “You know,” he grunted under my weight. “You’re a heavy muthafucker.” I thought about punching him in the gut, but then I couldn't make my arm work. Fuck it; he could use the work out.

  “Let me guess, you're at the Shady Pines?” he asked, referring to the motel. It wasn’t like I liked the motel, it was the closest to the bars, and it made hooking up easier if you didn’t have to drive ten minutes to get it on. When I didn’t reply, not because I didn’t want to, but because I forgot to, he took that as a yes and pointed his car in that direction.

  “Is Harley with you?” he asked, easing down the street. Fuck, Harley. I remembered the text messages and missed phone calls and instantly felt like a dick for forgetting about her, again.

  “Fuck, go faster.” I urged, the worry shooting through my veins, sobering me enough to think clearly. I’d been M.I.A for the entire day; I was too busy being a fucking baby to see about my girl. Fuck!

  Worry and panic were enough to sober a bitch up real quick, and the seven-minute drive that felt like thirty gave me time to get my shit together.

  “Let me out here.” I said, our room was two doors down from the front.

  “We need to talk,” Matty called out, but I wasn’t trying to stop for a heart to fucking heart now. Not when I’d left her alone.

  “Later,” I called as I hopped out and ate up the pavement while digging out my room key. With sweaty muthafucking hands, I unlocked the door and slipped inside. I was met with darkness, but the quietness is what I noticed first, reminding me of the cemetery. The panic I was feeling tripled. It was pitch black, the curtains were drawn tight with no chance of the outside world coming in, but that didn’t stop me from fumbling forward, trying to find her.

  “Fuck!” I tripped over something on the floor.

  “Deklan?” A light clicked on and Harley sat up in bed, rubbing sleep out of her eye. My eyes roamed over every inch of her, making sure she was okay. It was guilt that had me searching her eyes for anything off, but it was pure lust that had my dick harden at the sight of her mussed hair and the confused but sexy look on her face.

  “What time is it?” she asked, her voice rough with sleep and something else I couldn’t place.

  “It’s late, but early.” I looked down and kicked the overnight bag I had tripped on and stumbled to the bed.

  “Are you okay?” She jumped up from the bed to help me and my eyes went straight to her bare thighs barely covered by one of my sleep shirts, which caused me to groan. I wanted her, I wanted to fuck her hard and punishing, to hurt because I was hurting, had been hurting for a long fucking time, but I couldn’t. This was the reason I went to the bar in the first place, but I needed her to help me forget why I was at that fucking bar, even if I knew I shouldn’t touch her right now, I still did.

  “I need you.” I was aware I sounded like a junkie that needed a fix, but it was true. I could have easily fucked blondie back there at the bar, but she wouldn’t have done shit for me. My mind, my body needed Harley. I didn’t give her a chance to protest and grabbed her by the waist and spun around, sitting on the bed and sat her down on top of me, straddling me, which bought her heat close enough to my dick that it paid attention.

  “What…” I crushed my mouth to hers and groaned when she readily opened for me cutting off her question.

  “You’re drunk.” She broke away, but didn’t make any move to get up.

  “Not that drunk.” I sucked on the sensitive flesh behind her earlobe and she clung to me, her arms snaking around my neck. It was true, I had been drunk as shit at the bar, but the panic I felt on the way here pumped enough of the alcohol out of my system for me to know the difference from my head to my ass. It didn’t do a shit of good for my rational thinking though. That was out the fucking window.

  I always wanted Harley; she was sexy and innocent and mine. Our first sexual encounter was explosive and while I had planned on kissing her, maybe finger fucking her, when she began grinding on my dick and panting heavy, all those plans got squashed and the match was fucking lit. I quickly flipped her over, her back hitting the bed, making her tits bounce before I shoved the shirt up and attacked her breast, rolling her nipples with my tongue. She wasted no time, delving her hands onto my head and gripping tight, the action sending a signal to my dick that it was go time. She knew I loved that shit.

  I rolled my palm over her other nipple, feeling it bead up under my touch as she wrapped her legs around my waist bringing my dick closer to her core. I could feel the heat of her cunt through my damn jeans. I shifted to the side and slid my hand in between us and groaned at how wet she was already.

  “Shit, Harley,” I hissed into her mouth as I coated my fingers with her slickness before I inserted two, her pussy sucked them in greedily. She called out my name on a gasp that damn near had me coming in my jeans like an adolescent douche who’d never felt pussy before.

  “Where were you?” she panted out in a mixture of lust and sadness. Really? She wanted to have this conversation while I was fingering her?

  “Later,” I said, slipping in a third finger, knowing it would be a tight fit, but fuck it if I could help myself. She felt fucking incredible and my dick ached to be buried inside her. She whimpered and ground down on my fingers as I withdrew them slowly. Before she could protest, I slammed them back in on a growl. Her sex fumes hit my nostrils and went straight to my dick. Hell, yes.

  “I thought…I thought…oh god.” She groaned the last part as I picked up the pace. I pinned one of her thighs in between my legs while she spread the other wide, leaving her open to me, my dick poking her in the hip as I rocked in time with the movements of my hand.

  I know what she thought, and I’d reassure her again, later. “Put your hands on yourself,” I demanded as I continued to pump in and out of her with a steady rhythm with one hand while my other pinched and squeezed her nipples.

  She broke out of her lust-induced haze to gaze wide-eyed at me, no doubt shocked. I knew that I had been the only one to ever touch her pussy; she’d never jilled off, and I loved that shit, but there was something hot as sin about us jilling her off together.

  “What do you mean?” she asked, her evident need for me turning her voice into a sexy as fuck breathless whisper.

  “Put your hands on yourself; touch your pussy for me.” My need for her made m
y voice gravelly and deep, and I swallowed thickly with anticipation. This wasn’t new to me, the chicks I used to fuck were always on some porn type shit, but this was Harley. This would be different, better, more.

  “Deklan…” she hesitated, her embarrassment obvious in her eyes.

  “Babe.” I plunged my fingers in hard, this time making sure I hit the spot, her feet instantly pushed up off the bed, hips raised to meet my pull.

  That fucking spot.

  “Holy shit, holy shit,” she panted.

  “I know. It gets better. Touch yourself for me,” I repeated, this time she didn’t hesitate. Amazing what a woman will do once you hit that spot. Slowly, she lowered her hand until she lightly cupped her mound. I moved my thumb to her clit, circling it once, then pressing on it, and eliciting a low keen out of her. I lowered my head and ran my tongue up her neck to her ear. “Your turn, touch your clit for me.”

  My mouth went dry as she dipped her hand lower, and her fingers replaced my thumb, allowing me to renew my slow finger fuck. She was timid at first, only slightly rubbing her little ball of sensation, but I could tell she was starting to get over the initial embarrassment of it.

  “Yea, that’s it. Harder baby.” At my encouragement, her light touches became a gentle but firm caress. Watching her hands rub over her clit and my fingers pump in and out of her wet pussy made me so fucking hard, I thought I’d rip through my jeans with sheer force. I took one nipple in my mouth as our movements got faster and faster, the sounds and smell of sex permeating the air heavily. I was dangerous for her right now, her pussy felt too good and too wet on my fingers for me not to lose control and take her hard. When her other hand came up and squeezed her breast over my hand, my control snapped like slingshot.

  “I need to fuck you,” I snarled more to myself than her, but she still responded with an approval, her hips coming up to meet my hand, her head thrown back as her need for release built.

  “Don’t stop,” I warned as I withdrew my fingers provoking a whimper from her. “Keep going.” I pressed, never taking my eyes off her hand working her clit as I stripped, finally freeing my erection. I wasted no time in pulling her to the edge of the bed; I lined my cock up with her heat and pushed into her on a hard grunt.

  Fuuuuck, she felt good. I grabbed both her hands and brought them above her head, twining our fingers together. I gave her a minute to adjust to me, locking eyes with her and noticed the glisten in them. Shit.

  “Babe?” I questioned, stilling every muscle, every breath as she tried to fight the tears I saw from falling.

  “I’m okay, don’t stop. Please,” she pleaded with me and that animal that was unleashed a few seconds ago slowly walked back in his cage. I wanted to pull out, guys usually lose their mojo if a chick starts crying while you’re banging her, but she wrapped her legs around my hips, locking me in place. I knew this was about more than getting off, she needed something from me, and I replayed her words earlier that she hadn’t finished. “I thought…I thought…”

  I leaned in closer, releasing her hands, which she immediately latched around my neck pulling me even closer to her, allowing nothing between us to get through.

  Realization dawned on me.

  I’d fucked up. I had been so caught up in my own feelings; I’d neglected Harley, who was still fragile and doubtful of us, of me. I tried to find that spark of anger at her doubting me, but it didn’t come, because deep down I knew, if the shit was flipped, I would doubt my ass too.

  “I’m okay,” she repeated and ran her hands over my head, gripping it, her hips undulating, ready for me to finish what I had started. But how could I now? I slowly pulled back, almost out, and then thrust back in, this wasn’t the hard fuck I wanted, but it was still good. If I believed in fate or some chick shit like that, I’d say she was made for me. She fit around me like she was designed only for me, her sex gripping me, pulling me further into her.

  “More, Deklan,” she pleaded, legs shaking with how hard she was holding onto me, and I gave her the reassurance I knew she needed with every thrust, every groan, every kiss and gentle sucking until she was struggling with her building orgasm.

  I leaned closer to her ear, and on a hard thrust, gave her the only reassurance I could. “I got this, babe. All right… I got this.”

  Her pussy exploded around me as she released a combination of a moan/sob, and one more hard thrust later, I was coming with her, groaning as her sex clamped down on me. I almost missed the whispered ‘I love you’ that flew out of her mouth… almost. But when I asked her to repeat it, she clammed up, saying it was nothing.

  This was my fault, her doubt; and I owned it, but fuck, it killed me. I lifted my hand up to hers and noticed for the first time she had on her watch. She never wore things like that to bed; when I fingered it, she jumped up stating she had to pee and fled to the bathroom.

  Well, if that wasn’t fucking obvious she’s hiding something. Whether it was her being awkward over her confession, her thinking I had ditched her, or our very intense lovemaking was making her act sketchy, I had no idea. But the sooner we got up out of this fucking town the better.

  Harley

  Subtle Harley, real subtle.

  I braced myself on the bathroom counter and tried to control my erratic heartbeat. The shit was so loud when he started messing with my watch, I was sure Deklan would hear it. I freaked. I lied and ran. I was already an emotional mess with me coming undone while he was about to give me what I wanted, what I had been craving for so long. I felt the moment Deklan had snapped on his control to go softer with me and I was ready for the old Deklan, but then my stupid girl brain chose that moment to remind myself that A.) He was drunk and B.) He hadn’t called me back from the umpteenth messages and text I’d left him. Honestly, I thought he had dumped me, had gone to sleep thinking he had dumped me, and for him to just bump in the door and do that…it was just too much.

  I thought I had hid my emotions behind the fog of lust he had me in, but he saw right through it. Of course, he did and gone was the wild fuck I wanted and replaced with the gentle lovemaking that was neither the new Deklan nor the old Deklan…this was something else. It was tender and sweet and more, and the tears couldn’t be helped when he said what were becoming my three favorite words. My response slipped out so fast I hardly had time to register what I’d said before he was asking me to repeat it. Of course, I punked out because how cliché is that to whisper you loved someone right after a soul shattering orgasm?

  I fingered the small cuts under my watchband, thank god I had one of those wide bands almost like a bracelet, otherwise the cuts would be visible, and tried to calm myself. Deklan was drunk; chances were he wouldn’t think anything of it that I practically leapt from his arms when he touched my wrist.

  Yeah, right. Like he wouldn’t notice if you cut off your hair.

  The voice wasn’t my mother's, but mine because deep down, I knew Deklan wasn’t that drunk. His movements, his touches were too accurate to be that of a sloppy drunk and, since Deklan noticed everything, it would only be a matter of time before he noticed those moments of weakness on my wrist and palm. I hope they healed by then or that I stopped because it’d be different if he found out and I told him it was a one…three-time thing and didn’t happen again, but to still be doing it when he found out?

  I splashed some water on my face and pulled my big girl panties up…oh, right…I was naked, so I squared my shoulders and opened the door, ready to face his scrutiny and dodge accusations like the pro I was. Only when I opened the door, I was met with snoring, like snoring so loud, I’m surprised it didn’t wake up the couple in the next room. Deklan didn’t snore, that was probably the only non-macho thing he didn’t do, all tough guys snored right? It was like in the handbook of how to be a bad boy; only Deklan must have missed that chapter. But tonight it seemed like he was making up for it.

  My mind seemed to latch on to the logic that if he was snoring, then he was faded and therefore wouldn’t remember ha
lf of what happened tonight. It also made me a little sad because tonight was about more than just sex, and I know that Deklan has a hard time with his emotions like me, but tonight, we were both vulnerable together. Just thinking he wouldn’t remember it almost made me crawl in a ball and cry. Instead, I crawled into bed and huddled up close to his side and fell into a dreamless sleep.

  Morning came, and I found myself wrapped up in a Deklan blanket, his arm was wrapped around my waist, my back to his front and his morning erection pushing into my ass. Of course, my bladder would pick now to have to urgently pee. Legit this time.

  I tried to slide out from under him, but his arm was like lead and wouldn’t budge. I tried to make little ‘I’m awake’ sounds, like yawning, and stretching all to no avail. I was still trapped and my bladder felt like it was about to trickle over at any moment. I arched my back, pushing into his groin and wiggled a little bit and BINGO.

  “If you want morning sex, just ask.” His voice was so grainy and deep it momentarily made me forget about my exploding bladder and just urge him to talk more. Note to self: Deklan’s hungover sleepy voice is mind musher sexy.