by Alice Bright
Alex turned abruptly and seated himself at his desk. He didn’t even bother taking his overcoat off, which was unusual, but not as unusual as his grumpy mood. While Alex wasn’t exactly a charming boss, he certainly wasn’t usually this rude and arrogant.
With a sigh, I returned to my desk and settled back down. I hoped the morning would go by quickly so I could hurry and make it to my lunch break. If Alex was on the warpath, the last thing I needed to do was irritate him with dumb questions clients asked me. Although I felt like I was a quick learner, I hadn’t had any professional training as a paralegal or as a legal office assistant, so there was still quite a bit I didn’t know about legal procedures. Everyone, including myself, was annoyed when I didn’t know the answer to a question, so I’d taken it upon myself to borrow some of Alex’s law books and study when I wasn’t busy with homework or Tim.
Tim. It had been a few weeks since I’d started my new job and I’d barely seen Tim. He had been working almost every weekend and I was barely home anymore between classes and my job. I made a mental note to plan something special for us to do this weekend. We both had Saturday off, so maybe we could go on a hike or see a movie. We needed to do something. We’d still made love over the last few weeks, but there hadn’t been a lot of time for “us.” Part of what I liked about living together was actually getting to see my boyfriend, so the fact that we never saw each other was hard.
Just then, Alex’s 9:00 client walked in and pulled me from my thoughts.
“Good morning, Mr. Drew,” I greeted him with a smile. “I’ll let Alex know you’re here.”
I knocked gently on Alex’s door before I walked inside.
“Hey, Mr. Drew is here for you when you’re ready.”
“Thanks, Elizabeth. Oh, and Liz?”
“Yes, Mr. Smith?”
“I apologize for my abruptness earlier. I had no reason to be tart with you and I apologize for my rudeness.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. It was unbecoming and I’ll work on being more calm when I get to the office. It was a rough morning and I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
I gave Alex a soft smile. “It’s really okay,” I told him. “I understand that you have a pretty challenging job.”
“Liz?”
“Yes, Alex?”
"You look really beautiful today.”
Chapter 8
Alex let me go home early since he had appointments away from work during the afternoon. I decided to surprise Tim with his favorite foods since I knew he was off work today. I ordered take out from his favorite restaurant, which, coincidentally enough, was the restaurant we’d had our first date at. Neither one of us were particularly fancy or extravagant, but we both loved good food.
The meal was still hot when I arrived home and pulled up into the driveway. I was surprised to see a car parked out front. Maybe he had some friends over to study for the upcoming anthropology test. It had been a challenging course and he had been studying more and more for it.
I hurried inside and dropped the bags of food on the kitchen counter. The smell of fresh chicken and mashed potatoes began to waft deliciously throughout our tiny home. The living room and kitchen were both surprisingly empty, but maybe the car outside hadn’t been one of his friends, after all. Occasionally the neighbor across the street would park in our space when she had too many people over. I headed down the hall to the bedroom and opened the door to see if Alex was inside.
“Hey, Sweetie,” I called out as I walked in.
“Oh, shit!” Tim called out as I opened the door, tumbling off the bed in a pile of blankets.
“It’s just me, Sweetie,” I said, walking into the room. Had it been this messy this morning? And why was Alex in bed in the middle of the day?
“What are you doing home so early?” Tim asked, standing up and revealing his fully nude body.
“I brought you lunch to surprise you,” I said, eyeing him curiously. “Why are you naked?”
“I-uh…”
No. It couldn't be. I tried not to let my mind think the worst of the situation. After all, Tim would never cheat on me. He just wouldn't. He wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't hurt me like that. We'd been having problems, sure, but what couple didn't? You just worked through it when you had a problem, right? And eventually things got better...right?
I heard a sound from the bathroom and I whirled around and yanked the door open. To my astonishment, there stood Sandy, who was also fully nude. Her ruffled hair and smeared eyeliner revealed more than I cared to know about my former boss.
“What the hell? What the hell, you guys! Seriously?” Tim was seriously cheating on me with Sandy? Sandy from work? Sandy who couldn’t stand me and who was constantly ripping on me for being a slut? Sandy? I tried to catch my breath but I couldn’t. The room began to spin and I grabbed onto the dresser to steady myself. Was this really happening?
“I can explain,” Tim started. “You don’t understand, you’ve been gone so much and, I just didn’t expect to, uh, I just…” That was his excuse? I was working too much and he couldn’t control himself enough not to fuck Sandy?
“I work more hours and suddenly you can’t keep it in your pants? Seriously? What’s your problem, Tim? I thought we had something special.” I was not going to let him see me cry. This was Tim. This was me and Tim. We were supposed to be something fantastic, something beautiful. We were supposed to have a relationship that was going to last, that was going to be magical. I had imagined growing old with Tim. I had imagined walking down the aisle and becoming his wife. Apparently I had gotten a few years too far ahead of myself because this most definitely was crashing down on me in the middle of the day, in the middle of my room, in the middle of what felt like the worst moment of my life.
I was so angry and crushed at the same time that I didn’t know what to do, especially with Sandy standing naked in my bathroom, staring at me. Her slender body was gorgeous, her breasts perky and alert. Even her rumpled hair looked beautiful, but at this moment, I thought I had never seen anyone so ugly.
“Oh, please, Liz,” she said suddenly. “You’re never here. What did you expect was going to happen?”
“Sandy, get the hell out of my house before I punch you in the face.”
I must have looked as angry as I felt because Sandy grabbed her clothes and left without a word. Tim stood, still naked, in the center of the room and continued trying to cough up an explanation.
“You don’t know how hard I’ve been working,” Tim finally sputtered out.
“Okay?”
“I work really hard and you’re never here. I never get to see you anymore. All you do is go to work and class and when you’re home, it’s like you barely have time for me.”
“You do realize I’ve been at my job less than a month, right? I’m still learning the ropes. So what, anytime I get a new job you’re going to cheat on me because I get busy?”
“That’s not it. We’ve been drifting apart for a long time now.”
“Well, apparently somebody forgot to tell me!” I spat out the words angrily. My stomach felt sick. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Me and Tim. Tim and me. We were supposed to be together forever. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Not for us. Finally, the tears came and I couldn’t hold them back any longer. They burned as each individual tear slid from my eyes and down my cheeks.
“It’s not you,” Tim started, but I cut him off before he could feed me the cliché I didn’t need. “I really loved you,” I whispered to Tim.
“I know you did.”
“I’ll come back later for my stuff,” I said.
“You don’t have to move out, Liz.”
“Oh, so what, you’re going to leave? Your name’s on the lease,” I reminded him. “And do you really think I’m ever going to sleep in that-“ I pointed to the bed, “bed again?”
“No, I suppose not.”
“I just have to know, has this been going on the whole tim
e we’ve been dating? Have you always cheated on me?”
His silence said more than his words ever could, and without glancing back, I was gone.
Chapter 9
It’s not that I expected to get married soon, or even engaged, or that I wanted a long term commitment right now, but I had been truly content with Tim. I had been loyal to Tim. I had been kind to Tim. I had loved Tim. He had been my everything and now, with one fell swoop, all that we had was gone. I wondered how I could have meant so little to him when he had meant so much to me. After all, I was the first girl he’d ever lived with and he was the first guy I’d ever done anything with.
Giving my virginity to Tim had been a natural thing. We were in love. I didn’t regret it at the time, but I sure as hell regretted it now. How could I have been so blind? No wonder we worked opposite schedules: he needed time for me to be out of the house. He had been bringing girls home when I was gone and screwing them in the bed that we shared. What if he had given me an STD? Sure, we practiced safe sex as much as the next couple, but we weren’t as careful as we should have been.
I sat in my car in the middle of an empty parking lot and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. Finally, I realized I was going to have to do something about my situation. I needed a place to stay – fast – and I needed to get all of my stuff from Tim’s house. Fortunately, my parents lived close by and I could stay at their house for a few days while I sorted everything out and found a new apartment, although I didn’t look forward to explaining what had happened between me and Tim. They’d never approved of the relationship in the first place, so I was sure to get an earful.
When I was sure Tim was at class, I went back to the house to get my things. I loaded my clothes and shoes into my suitcases and laundry baskets and soon my car was almost completely full. I left my blankets and bedding. I didn’t want those anymore. My trinkets, books, and art supplies all went into my backpack, and I loaded my remaining possessions into three black garbage bags. It was amazing how many things I had accumulated since moving out of my mom’s house. It was amazing how many things I never wanted to see again.
I loaded up my car and finally pulled out of my tiny driveway for the last time. I tried not to cry again but I couldn’t help myself. Things had ended so abruptly, so painfully, that I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I didn’t want to accept that this was really happening and that I been betrayed not only by my lover, but by someone I had worked with and respected.
I glanced at my cell phone. I should call my mom and see if I could stay with her for a few days. She wouldn’t mind, but she would say I told you so. She was, after all, very sure that I was too young for just about everything. Whether it was buying a car, picking my own major, or even having sex, I just “wasn’t ready yet.” With a sigh, I wondered if I should even bother going home. Was it really worth the anxiety and stress? And would any good come from me going to my mom’s place? After all, wouldn’t it just show her that I was, in fact, not ready for life?
Suddenly, I remember my recent paycheck. I was no longer on a barista’s budget. While I certainly wasn’t rolling in the dough, I could afford to get my own place. It might take me a few days, but there was a cheap little motel not too far from campus and I could rent a room there for a little while until I found an apartment.
Satisfied with my decision and the fact that I was handling a problem on my own without calling for backup, I drove to the motel and checked in for a week. That should give me more than enough time to find a small studio apartment to rent. Best of all, I didn’t have to worry about furniture right away since the room I was renting was furnished. Granted, it was dingy and smelled strange, but it would work well as a short term solution.
I unloaded only the things I really needed: my toiletries, my work clothes, my shoes, a couple of books. My laptop came out, too, and I quickly connected to the motel’s Wi-Fi to start looking for apartments. I typed CHEAP LOCAL APARTMENTS into my favorite search engine to see what would pop up. There were actually a few places close by that were within my price range. A studio apartment with an on-site pool and laundry room, a 1-bedroom with its own dishwasher and washing machine set, and a second studio that had a build-in desk and bed frame, but that didn’t look as promising as the first place.
I jotted down the phone numbers of the rental agencies. I would call them later, but right then the only thing I wanted was to curl up in my bed and take a long, well-needed, very-much-earned nap.
Chapter 10
“Elizabeth, can I see you for a moment, please?” I heard Alex calling me from his office, and I noticed for the first time that he had left his door ajar this morning. That was unusual, considering that he generally kept the door closed tightly and made it a point to almost slam the darn thing when he came inside in the mornings.
I stood quickly, smoothed my skirt, and entered his office with a smile. “Yes?” I asked meekly. I was still tired and worn out from the previous day’s events. My sleep had been fitful and although the motel was a cheap dump, it had offered me a quiet space to try to collect my thoughts and figure out how I felt about things. Despite the alone time I’d had, my eyes were still swollen from crying and I didn’t think my makeup was doing the best job of hiding the puffiness.
“Come in and have a seat,” Alex welcomed me from behind a huge stack of papers. I sat obediently and waited for him to say something. “I just wanted to apologize again for my hastiness yesterday. My father and I are dealing with a particularly demanding client who requires the utmost discretion.”
“It’s really fine, Alex,” I started. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
He held up a hand to stop me, though. “I think it is a big deal,” he said, “but I’d like to make it up to you. Would you be available to have dinner with me tonight?”
I silently ran through a breakdown of my classes and realized there was nothing to keep me from saying “no” to Alex tonight. “Sure,” I said after a moment. “That sounds lovely.”
“Are you sure Tim won’t mind? He’s quite welcome to along if he would like to.”
Ugh. Tim. I wondered for a second if I should pipe up to Alex about that, but it didn’t seem like an appropriate time. After all, was it really right to dump your relationship problems on your boss? Even though Alex was incredibly handsome and I had always been attracted to him, I didn’t want to play the damsel. Not today.
“No, he won’t mind and he can’t make it, but thank you for offering. That was kind of you,” I said cordially.
“Fantastic.” Alex nodded with satisfaction. “I’ll send a car to pick you up at 7.”
Darn! I had forgotten how weird Alex was about being polite. I didn’t want to tell him that I was living in the shabby motel a few blocks away. “That’s okay,” I said quickly, “I’ll meet you there.” Alex gave me a questioning look but finally nodded.
“All right, I was thinking of going to Lalla.”
Lalla? That was only the most delicious restaurant I’d ever eaten at. Their salads were exquisite, their steaks were divine, and their chicken? Out of this world. “I love that place!” I nearly squealed with excitement.
“Are you sure you don’t want a ride?” Alex queried. “It’s a bit out of your way.”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll meet you there.”
“Liz,” Alex wasn’t going to let this go. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I waved my hand as I turned to leave the room. “I just have a few things to do before dinner so it would be easiest to meet you there.”
Without waiting for an argument or a too-long discussion, I quickly fled back to my own office and slipped into my seat. With a soft sigh, I let myself sink into the comfortable chair and I couldn’t help but smile that Alex and I were going to dinner. Just yesterday he had told me I looked beautiful and while I had loved the attention and the compliment, I hadn’t let myself dwell on it.
Now, in the quiet space of my waiting room, my office, my job
, I let myself.
And it felt really good.
**
I smoothed my dress and stared at myself in the mirror. With a deep breath, I realized I was as ready as I’d ever be. At my last dinner with Alex, I had been in a tangible, real relationship and had behaved in such a way. Not this time. This time I was free to be my own woman, free to flirt and laugh the way I wanted to, free to behave in a way that was not becoming of a woman in a relationship.
My hands jittered and shook the entire drive to the restaurant, and although I found a parking spot quickly, I found myself hesitating to go inside. I sat in the car and stared at Lalla’s. The sconces glowed and the large windows revealed couple after couple laughing, drinking, and enjoying the night. I had butterflies in my stomach tonight, something I hadn’t experienced since I was a teenager. I took a deep breath and finally got out of my car.
I knew Alex only thought of me as an employee now, but I couldn’t help hoping that something more would happen tonight. Could he ever see me as more than just his receptionist? Would he ever be attracted to me? Sure, he had said I was beautiful, but for all I knew he said it to everyone. Maybe Alex was a player. Obviously, I didn't have the best judgment in men. I probably shouldn't trust myself or my emotions, especially not tonight. With a sigh, I pushed open the door to the restaurant and told the hostess my name.
“I’m here to meet Alex Smith. I’m not sure if he’s already arrived or not but I think he had a reservation.” The young girl looked me up and down briefly, almost so indiscreetly that I wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t already feel self-conscious. I wasn’t underdressed by any means, but I also didn’t look nearly as fancy as some of the women wearing little black dresses three sizes too small.
“Mr. Smith has already been seated,” the hostess told me with a thin smile. “I’ll show you to his table.”
"Wait," I said, grabbing her arm gently.
