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"Yes. It did. "
"Then whats the matter?"
"Nothing," Connor said. "I was just thinking about what he actually said. "
"He mentioned Fairchild. "
"Of course," Connor said. "Morton knows the real story about Fairchild, very well. "
I started to ask him what it was, but he was already telling me.
"Have you ever heard of Seymour Cray? For years, he was the best designer of supercomputers in the world. Cray Research made the fastest computers in the world. The Japanese were trying to catch up with him, but they just couldnt do it. He was too brilliant. But by the mid-eighties, Japanese chip dumping had put most of Crays domestic suppliers out of business. So Cray had to order his custom-designed chips from Japanese manufacturers. There was nobody in America to make them. And his Japanese suppliers experienced mysterious delays. At one point, it took them a year to deliver certain chips he had ordered - and during that time, his Japanese competitors made great strides forward. There was also a question of whether they had stolen his new technology. Cray was furious. He knew they were fucking with him. He decided that he had to form a liaison with an American manufacturer, and so he chose Fairchild Semiconductor, even though the company was financially weak, far from the best. But Cray couldnt trust the Japanese anymore. He had to make do with Fairchild. So now Fairchild was making his next generation of custom chips for him - and then he learned that Fairchild was going to be sold to Fujitsu. His big competitor. It was concern about situations like that, and the national security implications, that led Congress to block the sale to Fujitsu. "
"And then?"
"Well, blocking the sale didnt solve Fairchilds financial problems. The company was still in trouble. And it eventually had to be sold. There was a rumor it was going to be bought by Bull, a French company that didnt compete in supercomputers. That sale might have been permitted by Congress. But in the end, Fairchild was sold to an American company. "
"And MicroCon is another Fairchild?"
"Yes, in the sense that MicroCon will give the Japanese a monopoly on vital chip-making machinery. Once they have a monopoly, they can withhold the machines from American companies. But now I think - "
That was when the phone rang. I left it on the speakerphone.
It was Lauren. My ex-wife.
"Peter?"
I said, "Hello, Lauren. "
"Peter, I am calling to inform you that Im going to pick up Michelle early today. " Her voice sounded tense, formal.
"You are? I didnt know you were picking her up at all. "
"I never said that, Peter," she answered quickly. "Of course Im picking her up. "
I said, "Okay, fine. By the way, whos Rick?"
There was a pause. "Really. That is beneath you, Peter. "
"Why?" I said. "Im just curious. Michelle mentioned it this morning. She said he has a black Mercedes. Is he the new boyfriend?"
"Peter. I hardly think that is on the same level. "
I said, "The same level as what?"
"Lets not play games," she said. "This is difficult enough. Im calling to tell you I have to pick up Michelle early because Im taking her to the doctor. "
"Why? Shes over her cold. "
"Im taking her for an examination, Peter. "
"For what?"
"An examination. "
"I heard you," I said. "But - "
"The physician who will examine her is Robert Strauss. He is an expert, Im told. I have been asking people in the office who is the best person. I dont know how this is going to turn out, Peter, but I want you to know I am concerned, particularly in the light of your history. "
"Lauren, what are you talking about?"
"Im talking about child abuse," she said. "Im talking about sexual molestation. "
"What?"
"Theres no getting around it, at this point. You know youve been accused of it in the past. "
I felt churning nausea. Whenever a relationship goes sour, theres always some residue of resentment, some pockets of bitterness and anger - as well as lots of private things that you know about the other person, that you can use against them. If you choose to do that. Lauren never had.
"Lauren, you know that abuse charge was trumped up, You know everything about that. We were married at the time. "
"I only know what you told me. " Her voice sounded distant now, moralistic, a little sarcastic. Her prosecutors voice.
"Lauren, for Christs sake. This is ridiculous. Whats going on?"
"It is not ridiculous. I have my responsibilities as a mother. "
"Well, for Gods sake, youve never been particularly worried about your responsibilities as a mother before. And now you - "
"Its true that I have a demanding career," she said, in an icy tone, "but there has never been any question that my daughter comes first. And I deeply, deeply regret if my past behavior in any way contributed to this unpleasant circumstance now. " I had the feeling that she wasnt talking to me. She was rehearsing. Trying out the words to see how they would sound before a judge. "Clearly, Peter, if there is child abuse, Michelle cannot continue to live with you. Or even to see you. "
I felt pain in my chest. A wrenching.
"What are you talking about? Who told you there was child abuse?"
"Peter, I dont think its appropriate for me to comment at this point in time. "
"Was it Wilhelm? Who called you, Lauren?"
"Peter, theres no point in going into this, Im officially notifying you that Im going to pick Michelle up at four p. m. I want her ready to go at four this afternoon. "
"Lauren - "
"I have my secretary, Miss Wilson, listening on the line and making stenographic notes of our conversation. Im giving you formal notice of my intention to pick up my daughter and take her for a physical examination. Do you have any questions about my decision?"
"No. "
"Four oclock, then. Thank you for your cooperation. And let me add on a personal note, Peter, Im truly sorry that it has come to this. "
And she hung up.
I had been involved in sex abuse cases when I was a detective. I knew how it worked. The fact is, you usually cant determine anything from a physical exam. Its always equivocal. And if a kid is questioned by a psychologist who hammers her with questions, the kid will eventually start to go along, and make up answers to please the psychologist. Normal procedure requires the psychologist to videotape the kids, to prove that the questioning wasnt leading. But the situation is almost always unclear when it finally comes before a judge. And the judge must therefore rule conservatively. Which means, if there is a possibility of abuse, to keep the child away from the accused parent. Or at least, not allow unsupervised visitation. No overnight visits. Or perhaps not even -
"Thats enough," Connor said, sitting beside me in the car. "Come back now. "
"Sorry," I said. "But its upsetting. "
"Im sure. Now: what havent you told me?"
"About what?"
"The molestation charge. "
"Nothing. Theres nothing to it. "
"K?hai," he said quietly. "I cant help you if you wont tell me. "
"It had nothing to do with sexual molestation," I said, "It was something else entirely. It was about money. "
Connor said nothing. He just waited. Looking at me.
"Ah, hell," I said.
And I told him.
You have these times in your life when you believe you know what youre doing, but you really dont. Later on, you can look back, and you see you werent acting right at all. You drifted into something, and you were completely screwed up. But at the time, you thought everything was fine.
What happened to me was, I was in love. Lauren was one of those patrician-acting girls, lean and graceful and understated. She looked like she grew up with horses. And she was younger than me, and beautiful.
I always knew it wouldnt work between us, but I was trying to make it work anyway. We h
ad gotten married and had begun living together and she was starting to be dissatisfied. Dissatisfied with my apartment, where it was located, how much money we had. All of that. She was throwing up, which didnt help. She had crackers in the car, crackers by the bed, crackers everywhere. She was so miserable and so unhappy that I tried to please her in little ways. Get her things. Bring her things. Cook her meals. Do little domestic things. It wasnt my usual way, but I was in love. I was drifting into this habit of pleasing her. Trying to please her.
And there was constant pressure. More this, more that. More money. More, more.
We also had a specific problem. Her health insurance through the D. A. s office didnt cover pregnancy and neither did mine. After we got married, we couldnt get coverage in time to pay for the baby. It was going to cost eight thousand dollars and we had to come up with it. Neither of us had the money. Laurens father was a doctor in Virginia but she didnt want to ask him for the money because he disapproved of her marrying me in the first place. My family doesnt have any money. So. There wasnt any money. She worked for the D. A. I worked for the department. She had a lot of debts on her MasterCard and owed money on her car. We had to come up with eight thousand dollars. Its hanging over our heads. How we are going to do this. And it gets to be an unspoken thing, at least from her. That I should handle it.
So one night in August Im out on a domestic violence call in Ladera Heights. Hispanic couple. Theyve been drinking and going at it pretty good, shes got a split lip and hes got a black eye, and their kids screaming in the next room, but pretty soon we calm them down and we can see that nobody is seriously injured, so were about to leave. And the wife sees were about to leave. At that point she starts yelling that the husband has been fooling with the daughter. Physically abusing the daughter. When the husband hears this, he looks really pissed, and I think its bullshit, the wife is just doing something to harass him. But the wife insists we check the daughter, so I go into the kids room and the kid is about nine months old and screaming red in the face, and I pull the covers back to check for bruises and there I see a kilo of white brick. Under the covers with the kid.
So.
I dont know, its one of those situations, theyre married so shed have to testify against her husband, theres no probable cause, the search is invalid, on and on. If hes got a halfway decent lawyer he can beat this, no problem. So I go out and call the guy in. I know I cant do anything. All Im thinking is that if his kid ever got this brick in her mouth, chewed on it, it would kill her. I want to talk to him about that. I figure Ill fuck him over a little. Scare him a little.
So now its him and me in the kids room. The wife is still out in the living room with my partner, and suddenly the guy pulls out an envelope two centimeters thick. He cracks it open. I see hundred-dollar bills. An inch thick of hundred-dollar bills. And he says, "Thanks for your help, officer. " Theres got to be ten thousand dollars in that envelope. Maybe more. I dont know. The guy holds out the envelope and looks at me. Expecting me to take it.
I say something lame about how its dangerous to hide shit in a kids bed. Right away, the guy picks up the brick, puts it on the floor, kicks it out of sight under the bed. Then he says, "You are right. Thank you, officer. I would hate something happens to my daughter. " And he holds out the envelope.
So.
Everything is in turmoil. The wife is outside screaming at my partner. The kid is in here screaming at us. The guy is holding the envelope. He smiles and nods. Like, go ahead and take it. Its yours. And I think. . . I dont know what I thought.
Next thing I know, Im out in the living room and I say everything is fine with the kid, and now the woman starts to scream in her drunken way that I abused her child - now its me, not the husband - and that I am in a conspiracy with the husband, that we are both child abusers. My partner figures shes crazy drunk and we leave, and thats it. My partner says, "You were in that room a while. " And I say, "I had to check the kid," And thats it. Except the next day she comes in and makes a formal complaint that I abused her child. Shes hung over and she has a record, but even so its a serious charge and it goes through the system as far as the preliminary, where it gets thrown out as entirely without merit.
Thats it.
Thats what happened.
Thats the whole story.
"And the money?" Connor said.
"I went to Vegas for the weekend. I won big. I paid taxes on thirteen thousand in unearned income that year. "
"Whose idea was that?"
"Lauren. She told me how to handle it. "
"So she knows what happened?"
"Sure. "
"And the department investigation? Did the preliminary board issue a report?"
"I dont think it got that far. They just heard it orally and dismissed it. Theres probably a notation in the file, but not an actual report. "
"All right," Connor said. "Now tell me the rest. "
So I told him about Ken Shubik, and the Times, and the Weasel. Connor listened silently, frowning. As I talked, he began to suck air through his teeth, which was the Japanese way of expressing disapproval.
"K?hai," he said, when I finished, "you are making my life extremely difficult. And certainly you make me appear foolish when I should not. Why didnt you tell me this earlier?"
"Because it has nothing to do with you. "
"K?hai. " He was shaking his head. "K?hai. . . "
I was thinking about my daughter again. About the possibility - just the possibility - that I would not be able to see her - that I would not be able to -
"Look," Connor said, "I told you it could be unpleasant, Take my word for it. It can get much more unpleasant than this. This is only the beginning. It can get nasty. We must proceed quickly and try to wrap everything up. "
"I thought everything was wrapped up. "
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