“So not funny,” Annika pouted.
Walking toward the shallow edge, she stood in waist deep water. Kieran stopped laughing long enough to look at her and then instantly sobered. Her white shirt had turned practically see through. He eyed her breasts hungrily but she didn’t notice.
Still complaining, Annika started taking her clothes off. “I can’t believe you didn’t at least let me get out of my clothes before we went swimming.”
Kieran just watched as she took off her clothes and threw them in a sopping heap on the bank. Flipping onto her back, she pushed off from the shallows and floated to the middle of the pool. “Aren’t you coming in?”
Kieran jumped up from the ground. Shedding his clothes lightning fast, Kieran dove in the water beside Annika. He surfaced right beside her, all intents to kiss the hell out of her. Instead, he got a face full of water as Annika started splashing him. Then she leapt up putting her hands on his head. Using her weight and leverage, she dunked him back down under the water.
Rather than coming up again, Kieran grabbed hold of her legs and pulled her under. They both surfaced at the same time, hands furiously pushing walls of water at the other in an effort to drown the other out. Annika was laughing so hard, he was afraid she might go under and drown on her own.
***
Running out of steam, Annika let Kieran send the last face full of water her way, then she propelled herself in his arms. Wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, she lightly kissed him on the mouth. He pulled back and looked at her with something in his eyes that she couldn’t quite read. But it made little butterflies start to circle in her stomach.
“Kieran?”
“Ssshhh….let me just kiss you.”
Locked around Kieran as he stood in the water, Annika felt herself being kissed as she had never been kissed before. Kieran ran his tongue leisurely around her mouth, skimming along her teeth, rolling around her piercing, nipping at her lips. Annika wrapped her arms more tightly around him and returned the kiss for all it was worth.
Whether it was minutes, hours, Annika didn’t know, but Kieran started walking with her out of the water. She almost protested as she felt she could go on kissing him like that for the rest of her life. Shame on you Annika for thinking that. Sounds too much like commitment.
Annika shook her head of those thoughts and went back to concentrating on Kieran. Exiting the warm pool, Kieran walked over to the soft, spongy grass and knelt down, Annika still plastered to him. He laid her back on the grass and pulled her legs from his waist, laying them down on the ground on either side of him.
The rose-tinted sun made the water drops on Annika’s skin sparkle. It made her lavender eyes swirl with iridescence. He was captivated and just looked at her.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known.”
Annika’s breath had caught in her throat. She had heard compliments and platitudes before from men, but this is the first time that she gave credence to what a man told her. She truly believed, at that moment, that she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Kieran was looking at her with such reverence, a lump formed in her throat. Was that emotion, or was it panic? Just enjoy, Annika.
Reaching out her arms, Annika beckoned Kieran to her. He moved forward, settling between her legs and covering her body with his. Holding himself up on his elbows, he looked her in the eyes.
“It has occurred to me on more than one occasion that there is a part of your body that I have seriously neglected.”
Annika smiled at him. “Is that so?”
“It is and I apologize profusely. I’m going to rectify that right now.”
Kieran leaned his head down and proceeded to pay the most exquisite homage to her breasts that they had ever known. He licked off every drop of water with his tongue, taking extra time to swirl around her nipples. Then he moved up and down her body, paying it equal attention. He took his time and his efforts to drink the water from her body left her a squirming mess. When Kieran finally sank a finger into her core, he groaned over the heat and wetness that surrounded it.
“Tell me you want me, Annika.”
“You can feel I do.”
Moving his finger deep inside of her, he whispered to her. “I can feel your body wants me. But do you want me?”
“Yes,” she whispered back. “I want you.”
Those simple words undid Kieran. He brought his mouth down in a claiming kiss that made her toes curl. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held on to him for dear life. Pulling his face back slightly, Kieran looked at her.
“Watch me while I enter you,” he commanded.
Annika looked into the swirling depths of his blue eyes and knew that this man was going to cause her trouble. Her heart screamed at her to run, but her mind was telling her to give it a chance. Holding his gaze, Annika felt the heavy length of him push inside of her. Slowly, inch by inch, until they were pelvis to pelvis. Kieran let out a deep groan and dropped his forehead to hers. He stayed still for just a second, almost trying to compose himself, then he started rocking against her.
Neither of them said a word but lost themselves to the sensation of each other. Rocking, pushing, pumping…in and out… over and over. Annika felt herself spiraling and she dug her nails into Kieran’s back, grasping…wanting…needing.
Tears misted in her eyes and she had no idea why. It was so beautiful, all of it. Him, her, the way they felt. Annika felt her climax start to rumble and she whimpered at the feeling. Kieran put his lips to her ear and started whispering. “Come with me Annika, come with me.”
Annika let loose just as she felt Kieran stiffen and then jet inside of her. She cried out as her orgasm ripped through her, sending her upwards to the stars. For a moment, just a brief moment, she felt a connection to him that went deeper than bone, deeper than blood, and then she was floating back to earth.
Annika realized that Kieran was lying on top of her, heavy and breathing hard. He was grazing his lips along her shoulder. Her head was swirling. What the hell was that? Then she realized tears were streaming down her face. She heard Kieran murmur, “The things you make me feel, Annika. Tell me you feel them too.”
The want in his voice. The desire. It was possessive, needful. Captivating. Capturing. Pressing. Overwhelming. All of a sudden, Annika couldn’t breathe and it had nothing to do with Kieran’s heavy weight. She felt trapped, panicked. She pushed at his chest, whimpering. Kieran instantly realized something was wrong and lifted up to look at her.
***
Taking note of the tears streaming down her face, Kieran saw wildness in her violet eyes. Feeling her push at his chest, he immediately rolled off of her, slipping out of her warmth. He watched as Annika sat up and scrambled away from him. Her breath was coming in heavy, deep spurts and tears were flowing freely.
“Annika?” Kieran said it gently, as if he were facing a feral animal. “Calm down, baby. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Annika held her head down, shaking it back and forth. She tried to talk but tiny whimpers came out. Kieran reached out toward her but she scrambled farther away.
“Don’t. Please don’t touch me.”
Kieran’s heart was pounding, and hurting for her all at the same time. She was clearly having a full blown panic attack and he had no clue how to soothe her. His instincts were to gather her up and hold her, but she clearly didn’t want his touch. He would need to talk her down.
“Annika. Honey. Look at me.”
Slowly, Annika raised her head to look at him. Tears swam in her eyes, and she used the back of one hand to furiously wipe them away. More took their place.
“It’s okay,” he said gently. “I won’t touch you. But please tell me what’s wrong.”
Annika shook her head again.
“I can’t,” she rasped.
“Yes. Yes you can. There isn’t anything you can’t tell me. I will never hurt you, Annika.”
Annika looked back down at the ground. Her hands we
re gripping the grass. Her knuckles were white.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Hey,” he soothed. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about. It’s okay.”
“No! It will never be okay.” She looked back up at him and there was such sorrow in her eyes that he felt as if someone stabbed a knife in his heart. “I can never give you want you want, Kieran. I don’t have it in me.”
“It’s okay,” he tried to make light of the situation. “Don’t worry about it. We got a little caught up in the emotion. Just take a few deep breaths and let’s talk about it.”
Kieran stood and pulled on his pants. He grabbed her clothes and spell dried them. Walking over to her, he knelt down in front of her. “Let’s put your shirt on, okay?”
Annika nodded her head and let Kieran pull her up from the ground. He placed the shirt on her and buttoned it up. Annika’s head hung low and she didn’t look at him. Holding out her pants, he let her put them on. While she did that, he spread out a blanket from his saddle bag. He opened up a bottle of honey wine that he had brought.
“Come sit down, Annika. Have a glass of wine. We’ll talk when you’re ready.”
Annika let out a tiny hiccup and sat down cross legged on the blanket. She idly picked at a blade of grass. Kieran brought over two glasses of wine and sat down across from her. Handing her a glass, he tried a little humor.
“Well, you are officially the first woman I have set into a fit of tears with my love making.”
Annika let out a harsh laugh. She took a sip of the wine and looked at him with misery in her eyes. “That’s the problem. It was love making.”
Kieran cocked his head to the side. “And that’s bad?”
Annika nodded her head. “For me it is.” Her voice was small, like a child.
Kieran didn’t push. He watched as she continued to pick at the grass. Tears filled her eyes again, and he watched one roll down her cheek and spill onto the blanket. Finally, she took a deep breath and looked at him.
“My mother died when I was six. Mary helped to raise me for the next five years…until she fell in love and moved away.” Kieran noted the word “love” was said with bitterness. “My father quickly married, thinking I needed a woman’s influence in my life. That woman brought her son, Mason, into our home….”
Annika had drifted off. Her lower lip trembled and Kieran knew she was searching for courage. His stomach was in knots because he knew what was coming next.
“I was fifteen when he first raped me.” Annika looked at Kieran and her eyes were filled with self-disgust.
Kieran’s heart ripped. “No, Annika. It wasn’t your fault.”
She held her hand up to stop him and he knew she needed to finish before she chickened out. “I didn’t know much about sex, but I knew it was wrong. I tried to fight him off. But he was so strong. And when he was done, he told me I was the best he’d ever had. That he was so glad he’d come to live with me. Before he walked out of my room, he grabbed my face and gave me a kiss…” Annika visibly shuddered. “Then he told me…he told me that if I told anyone, he would first kill my father then he would kill me.”
Kieran tentatively reached out and grabbed Annika’s hand. At least she didn’t draw it away.
“It went on for the next three years. I got good at hiding from him. I visited Mary as often as possible. So it didn’t happen a lot, but when it did…I just couldn’t stop it. Toward the end, I didn’t care if he killed me. But I was afraid for my father’s life. So… I just took it.” Annika looked at Kieran with a pleading look on her face. “Does that make me a bad person? That I just took it?”
Kieran couldn’t hold back. He grabbed Annika and pulled her onto his lap. Placing his lips against her hair, he squeezed her. “No baby, you are not a bad person. You were a victim. There was nothing you could do.” Kieran held her tightly and rocked her back and forth. Her head lay on his shoulder and she was silent for a long while.
“I did try to end it.”
Kieran pulled back a bit and looked at her. He stroked her face. “What do you mean?”
“Just before I turned eighteen, I tried to kill myself. Mason had just left my bed, and I was in so much pain, I just wanted it to end. I took a knife to my wrists. I would have succeeded but one of our maids found me.”
“What happened next?” Kieran had pulled her head back to his shoulder and was stroking her hair. He felt like he was going to vomit.
“A healer came. They saved my life. But...” Annika took a deep breath and let it out, “my father came to see me right away. He was so kind, so caring. He asked me what drove me to it. He told me I could tell him anything. That he would fix whatever the problem was. And I was fool enough to believe it.”
Suddenly, Annika launched herself up out of Kieran’s lap. He stood up too. She turned to look at him, and bitterness clouded her face. “I told my father what Mason had been doing to me. And…and…” Annika stuttered to a halt.
“He didn’t believe you--,” Kieran finished for her.
“He believed me…somewhat. It was his belief that I must have done something to lead Mason on. That whatever had happened, had been done with my consent.”
“Son of a mother-fucking-bitch.” Kieran’s blood was boiling. He was going to kill Mason, then her father…then go kill them both again.
Annika gave a bitter laugh. “That’s not all. He actually tried to talk me into marrying Mason. He said it would be appropriate since we were not related by blood.”
“I’ll kill them, Annika. I’ll kill them both for you,” Kieran vowed.
Annika reached up and touched Kieran’s face. Her eyes were so sad. “It’s ancient history now, Kieran.” She leaned up and kissed him chastely on his lips. “I’m telling you this because you need to know why I can never give you more than just sex. You saw how I just reacted. I can never be more than what I am right now. I only have my body to offer you, if you’ll have it. But do not ask for my heart. It turned to ash a long time ago.”
Kieran just stood there. He didn’t know what to say. He had never felt such sorrow for a person before. He had never felt such rage either. He was going to make Renard and Mason suffer for what they did to her. Then another thought occurred to him.
“Your charity…Saving Grace. Is Grace your middle name?”
Annika nodded with a half-smile on her face. “Pathetic that I would think helping other women might somehow save me, huh?”
Scrubbing his hands through his head, he struggled with words. Taking a deep breath, Kieran put his hands on her shoulders. “Annika. I am so sorry for what happened to you. I cannot even imagine the pain and betrayal you felt. You’re secret is safe with me and I will never tell another soul without your permission.” He pulled her close into a hug and to his surprise, she sunk into it. He kissed her on top of her head and then pulled back to look her in the eye.
“But we have a problem, Annika. I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I am falling in love you. I can’t help it. And it’s not going to change.”
Annika gave him that slow, sad smile. “Oh, Kieran…you poor, poor bastard. Falling for a fuck up like me.”
Kieran smiled at her and hugged her again. “Yeah, but your my fuck up… all mine.”
Annika actually giggled with her face pressed into his chest. But then she was serious again as she looked at him. “I’m serious, Kieran. I have nothing good to offer you.”
“Don’t you worry. I’ll take what I can get and see if I can convince you otherwise.”
CHAPTER 17
Kieran was in his bedroom, packing for their trip to Balvraine. One bag had the necessary ingredients Annika needed for any potential potion she would have to make. The other some traditional Balvraine clothing. It held a mix of fashions, ranging from clothing of the poor to the wealthy. Kieran didn’t know what ruse they would have to use to get in the palace, so he wanted to be prepared for all situations that could arise. Annika was in Mary’s room, spending some
time with her before they left.
“Getting ready to leave?”
Kieran turned to see Carrick standing in the doorway, leaning against the door jamb.
“Yup. I’m pretty much ready. Just waiting on Annika.”
“We’ll look after Mary. Don’t worry about her.”
“I appreciate it.” Kieran zipped up both packs and turned to look at Carrick. “Listen, I need a favor when we return. I’ll need you to talk to Ava about it.”
“Whatever you need, just name it.”
“I need to pay a visit to Myridian when I return. I would like Ava to go with me.”
Carrick raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.
“I can’t tell you the why of it, but I’m going to issue a challenge to the death to Renard’s stepson, Mason. I need Ava’s permission, of course. I would like her to go with me to lend authority to my challenge.”
“That’s asking an awful lot, Kieran. The House of Foss is a longtime ally to Kestevayne.”
“I know, and I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. If Ava doesn’t want to go with me, I will go on my own and do what needs to be done. Then it will not have the Clairmont name behind my actions.”
“Without telling me why you’re doing this, it’s going to be a hard sell to Ava.”
“I know, but I can’t tell you. I can only tell you that Mason deserves to die for what he has done to Annika, and Renard, well, he deserves it to, but I’ll be happy with just Mason’s head on my platter.”
Carrick was silent but Kieran knew he was contemplating his words with care. “I’ll talk to Ava, but I’m sure she’ll agree to have your back. We’ll discuss it further when you return.”
“Thanks, Carrick. It means a lot.”
“You love her then?”
Keiran sighed and sat on the end of his bed. “Yeah, I do.”
Carrick gave a soft smile. “And does she return those feelings?”
“Who knows. She says she’s not capable of love, but I’m not letting that deter me. Seems I once knew a stubborn bastard who used to say the same thing. Now look at him. He’s completely whipped by love.”
Stolen Heart Page 11
