by Wilde, Rhea
“I’m not embarrassed. I—”
May was smirking at me and despite my best efforts, shaking my head and rolling my eyes weren’t enough to stop me from blushing.
“Let’s just hurry up and clean everything up,” I said. “I want to go to sleep already.”
“You’re the boss.”
I finished cleaning the entire bar with everybody else and collected the small amount of tips I made for the night. Everybody had gone home and when I stepped out of the bar, I was alone again. But only for a moment. Vaughn walked up to me with a polite smile on his face.
“Hello, Ariel.”
“Hi…”
“I was wondering… If it wouldn’t be too forward if I walked you home… Or to wherever it was you’re going. If you don’t mind the company.”
I thought about it but only to not make it so obvious to him. I appreciated his company not just because he made me feel safe but because I realized I was beginning to find myself attracted to him. His charming smile. His impressive frame underneath his clothes. May was right. Even though I would never say it out loud, he was hot.
Trying to play it cool, I looked at him and slowly nodded my head.
“I live just down this way.”
Chapter 6
I didn’t know what to think exactly. The city had never seemed less inviting after what had happened last night. Making my way home was becoming more of a thrill than I could ever want it to be.
Tonight, though, I felt much safer. Just knowing that Vaughn was right there next to me was enough to detract anybody from even approaching us. At least, that’s what I’d hoped.
I didn’t know what to expect in the first place but it was different watching Vaughn walk right next to me. He seemed a lot taller than he did when I first saw him. His strides were long but not lunges. His posture was perfect, his chest puffed out as he walked forward. I tried not to stare too much at him, worried that he might catch me.
I looked up into the sky and felt the cool night breeze blow across my face.
“It’s a new moon,” he said suddenly.
“What?”
“In the night sky,” he said while pointing up at it. “Do you see the moon? You can barely make its outline. That’s why it’s so dark now. There’s no moonlight.”
“I see… So when are we going to see the moon again?”
“It’ll start to peek out tomorrow. And it’ll be full in a couple of weeks. Why? Do you like the moonlight, Ariel?”
“It doesn’t hurt,” I said. “It’s nice to see things that you wouldn’t normally be able to see. Especially with how crappy these streetlights are. What about you, Vaughn?”
“I like the moonlight,” he said. “The way it illuminates the city at night does make it easier to see. But sometimes it casts a shadow over some things. Some things that you don’t really want to see.”
His answer was more than cryptic but I figured that was who he was at this point. Just some mysteriously good-looking man who happened to stroll into the bar that I worked at.
“You sure know a lot about moons,” I said to him. “Is that what you do all day? Are you an astronomer who studies the stars?”
“No,” he said with a chuckle. “I don’t know much about anything else. I work down on the docks. A lot of ships import and export things. In the morning or at night. I have to know the cycle of the moon to know how much light we’re getting or how the tides will be.”
“The docks? What is it you do exactly?”
“I load and unload all of the containers on and off the ships.”
“It sounds like a lot of hard work.”
“It is but they need all the help they can get, which is why I’m out there. It’s honest. I can’t complain about my pay. It’s a living.”
He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would be doing menial labor. The way he spoke. The way he walked. Even the way he looked at me. All of it seemed like he was more than just some guy who was working a regular job and trying to make ends meet. He had the body for it. I could see it just from the way his clothes draped him. But Vaughn seemed like a man who would be better used in a suit, conducting business meetings and using his eloquence to influence people who really mattered.
I was walking and talking with Vaughn for what seemed like only a few minutes when we eventually ended up in front of my apartment building.
“Well, this is it,” I said. “Um… Thanks for keeping me company.”
“It was my pleasure, Ariel.”
I stood there in front of him, unsure of what to do next. Part of me was waiting for him to walk away while the other part wanted him to stay. I bit my lips and shifted my eyes to the left and right, waiting for him to make his move. I could just feel him standing there and his continued presence only made me want him to stay even more.
“Well… Good night, Ariel. I hope to see you again sometime.”
“Yeah…”
I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I was looking at the ground, suddenly feeling the embarrassment of a schoolgirl when she couldn’t talk to the boy she had a crush on. All I could see were the bottom of his jeans and his boots. I watched them take a few steps from me and then slowly walk away. A voice rang in my head. I didn’t know if it was a voice of reason or a voice of sanity but it made its way from my brain into my throat and before I knew it, I was looking back up at Vaughn’s back as he made his way back down the street.
“Hey,” I said loudly, my voice half-cracking out of nervousness.
He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me.
“Do you want to stop in for a second?” I said to him. “I could maybe… show you around. I mean, it’s not much to look at and…”
I found myself babbling, not wanting to let the awkward silence fill the air. As I did, he walked back up to me and nodded his head.
“Ariel,” he said with a smile,” I’d love to see where you live.”
“Okay,” I said, unknowingly exhaling a deep breath.
Vaughn had shown interest in me ever since I’d met him but I still wasn’t completely confident that whatever it was between us, if there was anything at all, was genuine.
I didn’t look at him as we walked up the several floors to my apartment. I just listened to the sound of his footsteps to make sure that he was still there. When we got to my apartment, I finally turned around to make sure he was still interested.
“Well… This is it.”
I opened my door and he followed just behind me. I looked out into the living room and suddenly became embarrassed. I never took the time to clean the mess I had made since I rarely had people over. My laundry was scattered over the couch and there were piles of papers stacked on the coffee table. The kitchen sink was riddled with dishes I was too lazy to shoved into the dishwasher. I wanted to turn around and shove him out of the room but the door clicked closed behind me and it was no longer an option.
“I’m sorry,” I explained to him. “I just haven’t gotten around to cleaning up this mess. I’ve been so busy at work that I’ve been too tired to get up and—”
“Ariel.”
“Yes?”
“You have a nice apartment. I don’t care what you think about it.”
“Oh… Well…”
He smiled at me and I immediately turned around so that he couldn’t see the embarrassment on my face. I worked my way into the kitchen to give me some distance between him.
“Please, have a seat,” I said to him as I shuffled through my kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?”
“I think I’ve had enough to drink tonight.”
“I-I didn’t mean alcohol. I mean, I have other stuff. Do you want some water? A soft drink? Some lemonade?”
“Lemonade? What is that?”
“You don’t know what lemonade is?”
I thought he was joking. Surprised, I looked over at him in the living room and the confusion on his face seemed genuine.
“It’s, uh, squeezed lemons… and sugar mostly…
”
“And you made it yourself?”
“...Yes.”
“If you don’t mind.”
“No, I don’t. I always make too much and end up throwing it out.”
I poured him a glass of lemonade and handed it to him. Taking a seat on the sofa across from him, I was intrigued as he took the first sip of the lemonade I had made. He gulped it down before pulling the glass away and staring into it.
“This is made from lemons?” he asked me.
“Yeah.”
“But it’s not sour.”
“I put a lot of sugar into it,” I chuckled.
“It’s really good.”
“You’ve never had lemonade before?”
He shook his head as he placed the glass down on the table in front of him.
“That would be the first time, Ariel. Maybe I should be ordering that instead at the bar.”
“There are much better places in the city to get lemonade from than at the bar.”
“Maybe you could invite me over here whenever you make some.”
I started to smile and bit my lips. If all it took was lemonade to get him to come over, I would have bought a whole orchard just to keep him happy.
“Well, this is pretty much it,” I said to him. “The kitchen is over there and the balcony provides a good view of the city but there really isn’t much to look at. My room is off to the side but… I don’t even sleep there. Most of the time I just end up right here on the couch.”
“This couch,” he said as he pointed at his seat.
“Yeah, that one.”
He stared at me and I did my best not to start blushing back at him. I had the nerve to invite him up to see my place but it was obvious that my intentions were different. There wasn’t anything to see in my apartment. But I couldn’t go the rest of the way. I didn’t have the guts to tell him that I was attracted to him and I wanted him to feel the same way about me.
“Do you live by yourself, Ariel?”
“Yeah… It’s just me…”
“Do you ever get lonely, Ariel?”
“What? What do you mean?”
“You live by yourself,” he explained. “Do you ever wish that you weren’t?”
“I don’t know,” I said as I shrugged my shoulders. “I never really thought about it. It would be nice not having to pay the entire rent of this place with a roommate but I like the freedom of having it all to myself. Why are you asking?”
He got up out of his seat and took a seat right next to me on the couch. I was a little concerned about what he was going to say to me. Even though I had let my body’s desires get the best of me when I invited him in, I knew that he was still practically a stranger to me. I didn’t want to second guess my decision and continued to hope that he was as harmless as I pictured him.
“I was thinking that maybe I could stay with you, Ariel.”
“What?” I exclaimed, nearly jumping out of my seat.
“I would pay my share. Even more if you wanted me to. You wouldn’t even know I was here.”
“B-but this is a single room apartment. You wouldn’t even have your own room. You wouldn’t get any privacy and—”
“It’s okay. I could sleep on the couch, just like you do. I would mind my own business. I wouldn’t be a bother.”
“I-I don’t know…”
Out of everything, the last thing I expected from Vaughn was this. It was out of the question. I barely knew him. I wasn’t looking for a roommate and I wasn’t going to accept his offer. But I was still hesitating. I was compelled not to say anything further, wanting to hear more reasons as to why this was a good idea. He stared at me then suddenly shut his eyes, shaking his head and turning away.
“Wait,” he said. “You’re right. I don’t know what came over me. I was out of line.”
“It’s all right, Vaughn.”
“No,” he said as he stood up off of the sofa. “You invited me into your home and I tried to take advantage of your kindness.”
“What are you talking about?” I said as I stood up next to him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.”
When he looked away from me it was like I was freed from the trance he put me in. My mind was clear and I suddenly realized what he had asked me. I couldn’t let him stay with me. I barely knew him. But when I looked at him, I could see a sense of desperation in his eyes and I knew that he was sincere about wanting to live here.
“Do you not have a place to stay, Vaughn? Where are you living now?”
“I have a place,” he said. “I have a great place. I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over, Ariel.”
He started to walked toward the door and when he gripped the door handle, I grabbed his hand.
“Wait!” I said. “You don’t have to leave. You can stay here for at least a little while longer, can’t you?”
He looked down at me and my apartment fell silent. I looked up into his eyes, desperately searching for any sign that he would give me what I wasn’t sure I wanted.
My mind was starting to go numb. Emotions were beginning to stir inside of me and mask everything else I was feeling. I didn’t know if it was biological, chemical or some unknown force, but I found myself unable to compete with the allure of his deep blue eyes.
“Ariel…”
He whispered one word. My name. But there was so much more behind it. There was a meaning that was driving my heart into overdrive. My heart was pounding against my chest. I was holding my breath.
My eyes started to narrow but I could see his face drifting toward mine ever so slowly. He breathed a warm sweetness onto my lips. The flesh our noses pressed up against one another and sent a stimulating sensation through the rest of my body. Before I knew it, the wetness of his lips were upon mine.
I moaned softly as he kissed me. His kiss was tender, engulfing me completely. Everything in my mind went blank except for the pleasure I was feeling. I reached out farther to take in more of him when he suddenly jerked his head back.
“I can’t,” he said.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him, frantically searching for an answer.
I tried to lean back into him but he took a step backward.
“This isn’t right,” he said. “I can’t make you do this.”
“It’s okay, Vaughn. I want this. I want to get to know you better.”
“No, you don’t, Ariel. You don’t want this. You just haven’t realized it yet.”
The door swung open and I chased after him.
“Vaughn!”
I shouted out to him but there was no need. He had already disappeared into the darkness of the night, going down the steps of my apartment building. I stood just outside of my apartment in the coolness of the night. I waited for him to come back. I was hoping that it was just nerves. I was nervous as well. And now that I had a taste of him, I wanted more.
But I was forced to give up as my body started to chill from the cold. I stepped back into my apartment and locked the door behind me, still not sure what to think.
He kissed me. There was something between us. But it was more than that. And I didn’t know if it was because of something I did or something he was hiding. As I fell on the couch to try and get some sleep, I wrestled with my feelings for Vaughn for what felt like hours. He was still a puzzle but one that I was intent on solving.
Chapter 7
I didn’t get much sleep last night. I was thinking about him when I finally fell asleep and he was the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes. After splashing water on my face in front of the mirror that morning, I noticed something was strange. The whites of my eyes were tinted pink. I didn’t think I’d lost so much sleep. I tried to get in a few more hours of rest before I had to get ready for work but even then, I still felt exhausted. The woman in my reflection was barely recognizable.
When I lazily made my way into work later that night, some of the other waitresses noticed.
“Are you
okay there, Ariel?” Zoe said to me as I took a seat at the bar.
“I’m okay,” I told her. “I just didn’t get much sleep tonight.”
“No kidding. Look at how red your eyes are.”
“I know. I’ll be fine.”
“Good lord, Ariel,” Frank exclaimed when he looked at me. “What the heck happened to you?”
“Nothing,” I sighed. “I said I’m fine.”
“You’re not doing any drugs are you? You know I can’t have any of my waitresses giving my place of business a bad reputation.”
“Frank.”
“...It’s not contagious, is it?”
The other girls laughed as I rolled my eyes at my boss. I was more tired than I expected to be after staying up so late but when the evening rush was here, I knew that I would be forced to stay on my toes. Until then, the monotony of making sure the bar was clean was a struggle.
But it didn’t work like I was expecting. It was an agonizing fight to stay awake even with so many of the patrons shouting their orders at me. As I made my way over to the bar to put in another drink order, I took the time to gather my strength and rest for a moment.
“Tired?”
I turned and saw Sasha standing there, her lips curled into a modest smile while she stared at me.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I said to her. “I’m just so exhausted.”
“Just take a break, Ariel.”
“I can’t take a break in the middle of a rush. Frank will kill me.”
“Just for a moment,” she reiterated. “Catch your breath. Close your eyes for a second. Don’t sleep. Just breathe.”
“What are you—”
“Just listen to me, Ariel. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of this drink order.”
Sasha wasn’t one to bark orders around. In fact, she was the complete opposite. I took her words of wisdom to heart and decided it wouldn’t hurt to take her advice so I did what I was told.
I closed my eyes and controlled my breathing, taking in deep breaths through my nostrils and expanding my chest then exhaling them out slowly. I did it over and over and when I opened my eyes, I noticed how relaxed I was.
I was still tired but the feeling of complete exhaustion I had just moments ago was gone. I wanted to thank Sasha but she had already disappeared back into the ruckus of the bar.
