by Jenny Hale
“If what you say is true, then why is he still planning to move to New York? Why isn’t it enough to make him see that work isn’t everything?”
“All he’s known his adult life is an inability to make things work. His marriage was a disaster—he closed up right after all that—and now all he has is the business. He doesn’t want to let his father down.”
What if he was afraid at failing with Abbey? Was he worried he’d give it all up, like he had with Sarah, only to have it not work out between them? Was it up to her to show him that they were worth a shot? “And you expect me to convince him to stay?”
“I think you’re doing a pretty good job already,” she said with a smile. “Now, let’s take a look at those test results.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Abbey sat amidst the pile of papers she’d used to scratch out ideas for Nick’s Christmas party. She’d sketched table designs for the dining room, listed food pairings she thought would fit the season, and she’d created a wine and beer list. There were still a million little things she had to do to organize it all and get it ready. It was a far cry from her usual decorating. This was more of a favor than design, but she didn’t mind doing it for Nick. She’d never had a chance to plan a party like this before, and she figured she could always add it to her portfolio. However, she had questions that he wasn’t there to answer, and she knew, at some point, she’d better talk to him about Caroline’s test results.
She got out her phone and texted: I got your grandmother’s test results back. Want to know what’s going on with her or shall I wait to fill you in when you return? She hit send and put her phone down on top of the wine and beer list.
The response came immediately: Let’s talk tonight. When is a good time to call?
She was supposed to buy gift basket items for Max’s school this evening, shop for Nick because she wanted to get him a Christmas present, she also had to finish planning for the party, and she had to get Max to do his homework, cook dinner, and get him to bed. She was already tired and needed to get to bed early but the idea of hearing Nick’s voice was too enticing to pass up. She texted back, How about nine o’clock tonight?
Whatever works for you, he texted back. :) Chat soon.
She peered down at her phone. Was that a smiley face? Had he inserted an emoticon in his message? “Haha!” she laughed out loud. It had surprised her.
Abbey was so excited at the thought of talking to him. She knew she had to stop this, and get over it, but she just couldn’t. Caroline had mentioned that he needed her to show him how to live, but what Caroline hadn’t said was that Abbey needed him too.
Nick brought something out in Abbey that made her feel more alive than she had in years. She hadn’t told him, but she’d never danced with a man before at Alma’s restaurant—only with Max or in her living room when Alma came over. She’d never have stopped to ice skate. But with him, she wanted to. The way his face changed when he was around her made her want to be with him. She craved his attention, and loved the thrill of seeing his playful side. When she’d first arrived at that big house of his, and the rooms seemed massive and unlivable, she wondered how he could live there, but now, his house was shaping up to be a wonderful home, and his money was just a part of who he was—she hardly noticed it. She loved sitting in that enormous ballroom on those fluffy sofas in front of the fire. All the glamour and luxury of that big house didn’t overwhelm her anymore.
Max’s affection for Nick only made things more difficult. As young as he was, could Max tell a difference in his mother when she was around Nick? Could that be part of the pull Max had toward Nick—Max’s yearning for that perfect little family that his classmates seemed to have?
Abbey got up and pulled her hair back, straightened her clothes that had been wrinkled from sitting on the floor while party planning, and got herself ready to go out. She needed something to keep her mind off Nick for a while, and she had to buy items for Max’s gift basket at school. She thought about the theme: “Stay Warm and Comfy.” She knew very well what made her feel warm and comfortable, but she couldn’t think about that now.
* * *
Abbey had been shopping for an hour. Every year the school classes created Christmas gift baskets to be auctioned off. They were huge, over the top, foil- and plastic-wrapped prizes that were so well planned and presented that they fetched anywhere from fifty to a hundred dollars per basket. The money was then given to the students in need for supplies, winter clothing, and food. The list of items for the gift basket was crinkled in Abbey’s hand as she held on to the shopping cart handle. She smoothed it back out and read the list of suggestions: quilt, slippers, bathrobe, decorative pillow…
Last year, the theme had been “A Day of Fun,” and the basket had been filled with movie passes, bowling gift certificates, children’s painting kits—all sorts of things. Abbey had purchased what she could afford that Christmas. She’d donated a box of microwave popcorn. She wanted to donate something wonderful, something so decadent and irresistible that the basket would bring in a ton of money for those kids in need. With her artistic eye, she could make those baskets amazing. She just didn’t have the free cash to do it. As she looked at her list, she had no fear this year.
Abbey had decided to visit a small shop that was full of unique, upscale gifts. It was there that she found a quilt in gorgeous blues and creams and turned over the tag. Fifty-five dollars. She put it in her shopping basket and tried to keep the smile from spreading across her face.
After Vince left, Abbey had changed everything about the way she lived. Her free spirit had been crushed just a little when things hadn’t worked out. And then having Max had made her feel like any blunder could be disastrous for him. As a single young woman, she could live without a dinner one night or camp out on a friend’s couch if she couldn’t afford an apartment, but she would never dream of causing an upheaval like that for Max. She saw her free spirit in him, and she didn’t want anyone or anything ruining that. Childhood had been the one time when she’d felt invincible. She wanted that for her son. Now, when all his classmates brought in their items, even though he may never notice the difference in his contribution, she had the satisfaction of knowing that she and Max could provide something wonderful for the school.
Wouldn’t it be nice to make a living all the time like she did with her decorating job? Maybe it was the Christmas music piping through the store, or the decorations hanging from the ceiling, all the happy faces plastered along the walls… She thought it could be possible to start her own business. As she walked through the shop, her mind traveled to the what-if’s that didn’t seem so far fetched anymore. An interior designer needs an office. She couldn’t meet with clients in her apartment. She didn’t even have an empty room. That would take money. …Money that she had from doing Nick’s house. She could snap photos of her mother’s, of Caroline’s, and of Nick’s and take out a few ads.
If she didn’t try, she’d never know. Caroline would move away, and she’d find herself nursing again, her hours sporadic, her mother having to get up in the middle of the night and watch Max for her again. Could she have a better life if she just let go of her worry and tried this? Maybe she could start something part time… As scared as she was, all the ideas were flooding her, and the thrill of it was filling her with every step.
As she walked along the aisles, the quilt in her basket, she let her eyes slide along every shelf. There were so many wonderful things that she wanted to buy them all. She was heading toward the register when she stopped right there in the store and gasped quietly. Slowly, she reached out and grabbed the book off the shelf. It was deep brown rich leather, and it was made for holding music. Abbey ran her fingers along the front where it advertised possible engravings on a gold plate on the front—monograms, names… She knew what she wanted to put on the front. Beside it was a new book of sheet music for Christmas carols. She grabbed it and took it all up to the register.
* * *
“
Did you brush your teeth?” Abbey asked Max as he put his things back into his backpack for tomorrow. He was wearing his pajamas with the trains on them, and his socks were bunched up at his ankles.
“Yep,” he said, stuffing his reading book inside and zipping his backpack.
“Wait.” Abbey grabbed the plastic bag off the counter and pulled out the quilt. “Give this to your teacher,” she said, feeling a little joy from her purchase. But she kept her face light for Max’s benefit. “It’s for the class gift basket.”
Max took the quilt and stuffed it in his bag.
“Can we read my bedtime story out here?” Max asked, his eyes roaming the small living area. “I want to be able to see the Christmas tree.”
“Sure,” she said, glad to have the power back on again so they could enjoy it.
In the corner of the room, Abbey had a small live tree with a few ornaments and a couple of strands of colored lights. Max had picked them out. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but in the dark of night, the lights shimmered off the glass of the ornaments and it looked magical. It made her think about the living room at Nick’s. She had planned a traditional small tree in that room, one that Max would enjoy. She was moving into Nick’s tomorrow; maybe they could decorate that tree then. She’d packed them each a fresh bag, figuring she could always come home and switch out their clothes if they needed more. Max should have a tree that was familiar. She couldn’t wait to make some ornaments or a homemade garland for it.
Max ran down the short hallway and returned with a book and one of the blankets from his bed as well. They sat together beneath the lamplight and snuggled up under the blanket.
“Do you think Santa will bring me lots of presents this year? ” he asked and Abbey thought of all the gifts she’d bought with Nick, which were safely hidden away and waiting to be left by Santa.
“Yes.” She smiled down at him, so happy that she’d gotten him what he wanted.
“What are you going to unwrap? You never have presents to unwrap on Christmas morning. It’s just me. That’s not fair.”
“Aw, it’s okay. Grownups don’t get presents like kids do.” She knew that in some families they did, but she didn’t want Max feeling guilty at all. This was supposed to be his special Christmas.
“Grownups need surprises though,” he said.
“You are my surprise and every year that I spend with you watching you open your gifts is a gift for me. Now, what book do you have tonight?”
He handed her his story for the night and they read together until Max could hardly keep his eyes open. Once she put him to bed, she went to the bathroom to check on the sheet music. She’d ripped out the pages from the Christmas carol book and soaked them in tea to give them an aged look, and now they were drying on a plastic sheet in her tub. The sheets were nearly dry.
* * *
The apartment was quiet. Max was asleep in his bed and Abbey had her phone in her hand. It was exactly nine o’clock. Her fingertips were cold and numb from nerves. She couldn’t wait to talk to Nick. All day she’d waited and now, it was finally time. Before she could dial his number, her phone rang.
“Hello?” she said.
“Hi.”
Hearing his voice was the best sound. He hadn’t even been gone a day and she already missed him. She missed the way he looked at her when she surprised him with things she said, the way it felt to wake up with his arm around her after painting, the feel of his hand in hers.
“I only have a few minutes,” he said, and she felt her heart drop into her stomach. “I had to know about my grandmother, but after today, if there’s anything else, just let Richard know. You’re moving in tomorrow, right?”
“Yes.”
“He has my emergency number if it’s required for any reason. Otherwise, I won’t be available.”
“You don’t sound like yourself,” she said. He sounded distant. It was so different than his regular cadence—it was short, choppy.
Nick cleared his throat. “I’m just busy,” he said a little more gently this time. “I’m in the middle of a large acquisition at the same time that I’m house hunting.”
“Oh,” she said.
“So, shall we just get right to it then?” he asked.
“Okay,” she said reluctantly. “But first, why didn’t you go and see Caroline to tell her she was moving in? She said you called.”
“I was in New York.”
“Couldn’t you have told her before you left?”
“Abbey,” he said, his voice sounding tired. “I’m sure you would’ve done things differently, but you aren’t me. I called her. She knows. She took it well.”
“She did?” Abbey asked, his last comment of more interest to her than arguing with his approach. She had noticed how Caroline hadn’t seemed very upset, although she had mentioned in conversation before how she’d never want to live there. “She never wanted to live at your house before, but now she’s okay with it?”
“She didn’t want to live there when the house was empty and I was always at work, but now the house is amazing. She will have you and Max, and Robin should be coming. She’s fine with it.”
“The house is amazing?” Abbey asked with a smile.
“Yes.” She could feel his smile in that word. “Now, tell me what’s going on with her.”
“Caroline has an arrhythmia,” she answered. “I suspected it, but was waiting for a diagnosis before I said anything.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s an irregular heartbeat. It can escalate with age. By itself, it’s just something to monitor, but I worry about it with her arthritis and the hip problems she’s been having. If she needs surgery, the arrhythmia might make it impossible.”
“She can’t fall. She can’t walk around too much,” he worried aloud. “I’m glad she’ll have your care.”
“I enjoy taking care of her. I’ll miss her when she’s gone,” she said.
“I’m sure you will.”
She hated the idea of Caroline leaving.
“I have to go,” he said. “Thank you for keeping me informed.”
“I have some questions about the house,” she said quickly, before he ended the call.
“Ask Richard. I’ve told him he can make decisions this week while I’m gone. And, as always, I trust you to do what you think is right.” There was a small pause, and she could feel that he was going to say something else. “You’re great at what you do, Abbey,” he said, his voice soft. “You’re a wonderful nurse, but you’re an even better decorator.” That was the best compliment she could’ve received. And she could tell by his honest voice that he was serious.
“Thank you,” she said.
“I’m not kidding at all. You are great.”
Where was this coming from? He’d never cared one way or the other about what she did. It was clear, after seeing his bedroom, that he had an eye for that sort of thing, but he’d never bothered to offer his opinions before.
“Well,” he said, his voice sounding unsure all of a sudden. “I should go.”
“Don’t.” She worried that he was holding back. She was desperate to keep him on the line. If she could just talk to him, maybe she could make him see that he needed to stay; maybe they could find some sort of middle ground. His change in tone had been enough to give her the strength to try to stop him.
“Abbey, I have to go,” he said gently.
“Why?”
“I just do. Richard is there if you need him. Have a good week.”
The phone line went dead. She thought about calling him back, but decided against it. She’d surprised herself tonight. She’d never needed anyone before, she’d been fine on her own, but tonight, she felt, for the first time in her life, what it was like to yearn for someone, to wish with everything she had that he’d stay on the line. With a heavy heart, she went to bed.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Abbey let Max run through Nick’s house as she placed their clothes in drawers and set the s
uitcases in the closet. Nick wasn’t there anyway, so it was just the two of them and the staff. She’d texted him this morning to remind him that Max’s “Bring Your Daddy to School Day” was next Wednesday, and she hadn’t heard back. She was so worried that he wouldn’t show up, especially with him being as busy as he was at the moment. Max needed a positive male role model in his life and that was one thing that she couldn’t give him. But Nick could give him that.
Her phone lit up with a text just as she was thinking of him, and Abbey almost fell over the bed to get it. She could see Nick’s number; her heart slammed around in her chest. She opened it and read, Just a quick note to say Robin is actually flying in tonight. Feel free to decorate around her. Just wanted to give you the heads up.
Abbey felt a mixture of exhilaration at seeing his text and complete despair that he hadn’t even bothered to say hello first. She didn’t know what to think. She just stared at the words until her phone’s screen went dark. What about Max’s day at school? He’d gotten the text, surely. He hadn’t even responded.
* * *
Abbey had spent a whole lot of time at Caroline’s today, helping her get what she needed moved into the mansion, and now she was scrambling to get as much of the house done as she could before Robin arrived. She got Caroline all settled into one of the chairs in the living room with a book, her cell phone, and a cup of coffee, and told her that she was a text away. She’d be outside.
Before she went outside, however, she put Max in the bath to play and sneaked into Nick’s office. She pulled his music folders from the shelf. They were old and worn on the edges. She thumbed through the music and pulled out a few titles she liked, making sure to find “Dreams.” She slid the folders back onto his shelf and carried the small pile of music she’d taken to the room with her things. She pulled the new book she’d bought for Nick from the front pocket of her suitcase and blew a tiny speck of dust off the engraving. Then she opened it and put the music inside it.
