Once Alicia got free, Craig let her out of the cage as well. Karen wasn’t sure what to do when Craig picked Alicia up and started carrying her off, but she picked up the rope and looked over at the couple. Alicia signaled her over, and they all ended up cuddling on the blue suede couch in the corner.
Maybe a cuddle is what I need.
“Hey,” said a familiar voice.
Parker. His brown wavy hair didn’t even have the decency to have a strand out of place. He was wearing a leather vest that showed off his powerful arms. Karen could smell him. He had worked up a sweat flogging. He’d also managed to get a little perfume on him.
“Hey,” Karen said. “What? She doesn’t get aftercare?”
Parker inclined his head in his recent playmate’s direction. “She got the aftercare she wanted. She’s over there playing with Fritz now.”
Aw. Poor baby. You didn’t get the aftercare you needed, did you? The thought made her sympathetic, and that made her pissed off. She didn’t want to sympathize. So she shrugged. “College kids.”
“She was twenty-six.”
Is that what she told you? “If you say so.” Karen supposed it was probably true, but she didn’t feel like admitting it.
“That’s what her license said when she presented it to Tori on the way in,” said Parker. “Anyway. Would you like to play?”
Finally. Yes. But something made her say, “I dunno. I have aftercare to do.” She gave Alicia a hug.
Alicia laughed and pushed her away. “Go play, silly!”
“Yeah,” she said and got up. “Thanks for including me,” she said to Craig and Alicia.
“Our pleasure,” said Craig.
“Great scene by the way,” Parker said to Craig. “You two are really getting into it. It’s great to see you be creative.”
“Okay, hotshot,” Karen said to Parker. “Where to?”
“The frame is free. We’ll play with rope.”
“Okay.”
Karen wanted something more intense. Rope was great, most of the time. She loved blissing out in the confinement of the webs he wove, unable to move. He kept her safe. But right now, she didn’t want to be trapped in her own mind. She wanted to be flogged or caned or whipped. She wanted intensity. But he was the Dom. Maybe he’d figure it out.
How many times do I tell newbies to speak up and say what they want? And here I am not following my own advice. She realized she didn’t even feel like talking to Parker. She just wanted his attention. Maybe I can provoke him into the scene I want. No. I know better.
She let him lead her across the room to the frame and knelt there while he fetched his rope. She tried to calm her mind for the scene ahead. Yes, Sir. Yes, Sir. Maybe if she repeated it like a mantra, she’d be in the mood to say it. I’m an experienced sub. And I do want this. I can fake it until I make it.
Parker came back and kissed her. Did he kiss her too? Fuck. It felt good, though, and she kissed back. Maybe the other girl is watching.
What is wrong with me? Jealousy will do me no good. And I have him now.
“Feeling okay, Karen?” Parker asked.
“Yes. Great. Let’s do this.” Karen gave him her best smile.
“Good. Stretch your hands up toward the bar.” He reached into his bag and got out her favorite rope. It was dark red like a ruby and made of hemp that was rough enough to feel and soft enough to enjoy.
“Um, don’t you want me to take my dress off first?” He did want to see her naked, didn’t he?
“I don’t need you to for what I have in mind.” Parker grinned at her.
“You’ve probably seen enough bare skin for the day,” Karen spat back.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You wanted your other girl naked.”
“Are you jealous?”
“Of course not. Why would I be jealous?” She lifted her arms. “Go ahead. Tie me up.” She glared at him.
He tossed the rope down.
“What the fuck, Parker? Go ahead and tie me up already.” Karen’s voice rose. “Sir.”
“We are not doing this.” He grabbed her wrist and pulled. She followed him, out of long practice rather than anything else. And curiosity. She wanted to see where he would take it. She knew she’d been out of line, and that even the “Sir” had sounded more sarcastic than respectful. I should have told him I wasn’t in the right head space. But maybe he’ll spank me.
Instead, he led her past the front desk and out of the club entirely.
“Okay, Karen. What’s going on?”
“I’m cold.”
“There’s no place private in there enough for you to raise your voice if you need to.” Parker took off his vest and draped it around her shoulders, leaving him bare from the waist up. She couldn’t help but feel lust at the sight of his muscular chest, covered with sparse brown curls. If he was cold, he didn’t let on. It was a reasonably warm night for January, if she was honest, but it was still well below fifty. She took a deep breath. Honesty would probably be a good start.
“Now, what’s going on?”
I might as well just come out with it. One thing she’d learned with Parker: he appreciated honesty, even if what she had to say wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “I didn’t like seeing you play with that girl.”
“I got that impression. Why?”
Why, indeed? “She’s too young.”
He raised his eyebrows. “She’s only a little younger than you are.”
“Nice of you to say, but skip it.”
“In any case, she was old enough to consent to our play, and I’m not starting a relationship with her, so it doesn’t matter.”
“To you.”
Parker nodded. “I’m the only person I can speak for.” He hugged her. “You know you’re my main girl, don’t you?”
Main girl. Whee. She’d actually taken pride in that in the past. She was the only one, as far as she knew, that he had a regular appointment with. But that wasn’t enough. “I’m your Saturday afternoon bit of fluff; I know that much,” she said. “You can play with whoever you want. My emotions are my problem. Sorry. I shouldn’t have agreed to play with you tonight.” She wiggled free, not feeling like coming down from the rush that was her anger.
He paused a moment. “Correct.”
“So, I’ll go home. You can find someone else.”
“I don’t want to find someone else.”
“I probably should. Then you wouldn’t have to deal with me being a bitch.”
He frowned. “I didn’t call you a bitch, Karen. If you have emotions, we should talk about them. There’s no point in bottling stuff.”
She nodded. His words had taken the anger out of her. “Sorry, Sir. Parker. I shouldn’t try to do the ‘Sir’ thing right now.”
“You don’t have to. I’m your friend, Karen. What’s going on?”
She hesitated. They didn’t talk much about real-life concerns. They were friends, but most of the time, they stayed in role, and when they did talk, it was usually about kink and sex. Still, she’d gone this far; she figured she might as well tell him. “I was over at my sister’s house today and was wondering what I was doing with my life. She’s got a family. A husband. Kids. I have a Saturday afternoon.” She shrugged. “Sorry. That was maybe a bit too raw.”
“You’ve got a free pass.” He reached out for her, and this time, she accepted his hug, cuddling into his warm arms. “Better to get it out than to pretty it up.”
“Thank you.”
“You have so much more in your life, Karen. You have friends, lovers, people you play with. A job that fills you up. You were telling me three weeks ago how incredibly boring Kelly’s life must be.”
She nodded. “I need to figure it all out, I guess. Sorry I blew up on you. I don’t have the right, and we both agreed we’d have fun with other people. I missed out on dinner with everyone and then felt left out in general, I guess. Your scene was hot. Sorry she didn’t stay with you afterward.”
He stroked her cheek. “No you’re not.”
“No, I’m not,” Karen agreed. “But I wish I was. I wish I was that giving, sharing, whatever it is. Not feeling it tonight. I’ll be back to my poly best tomorrow.”
“It’ll be just you and me tomorrow, Karen.”
Karen smiled. “Okay. I better go home. Are you going to stay?”
“Nah.”
She took off the vest and handed it to him. “I’ve got some clothes in there to change into. Would you mind staying long enough to walk me to my car?”
Parker smiled. “Of course not.”
She walked back into the club feeling lighter. He did care about her, even if he wasn’t a solution to everything she wanted. Maybe he’s right, though. Maybe life is better without kids. Just having fun. I just want to have it all, and I have to make choices.
She changed in the club, then walked out. Parker had seen her in normal clothes before, but not often. When she went to his house, she always stripped down to her lingerie upon arrival. They talked some during the week, but in some ways, he was still a mystery.
He put out his elbow for her arm and walked her to her car. She gave him a kiss good night and headed home.
In the morning she dropped him an e-mail. She was tempted to tell him she was sick, but that wasn’t the truth. Instead she told him her head space still wasn’t right for playing, that she had to figure things out. Then she sent Gavin on the dating site a message, saying she was up for coffee if he was still interested.
Chapter Two
“So, what are you going to do tonight, Parker?” asked Alicia.
It was Friday night a week later, and Parker was sitting at a table with Craig and Alicia in the middle of Knotty and Nice. A midweek note to Karen had gotten the response that she “needed space.” As if he hadn’t always given that to her. He had no idea if they were getting together tomorrow or not. What he did know was that she’d had a strong emotional response last Friday night, and he could certainly take a weekend off from playing if that would help her feel better. “Nada,” he said. “Just watching tonight. Unless Karen wants to do something.” Besides, I’m tired. He’d put in some long hours running his business, which made high-end custom-built cabinets and shipped them worldwide.
“That’s not like you,” said Alicia.
“Meh. I’m not in the mood.” He didn’t know how credible that sounded, and in a way he didn’t care. “If you guys need any help, let me know, but tonight I’m going to be socializing.” He made an exception for Craig and Alicia. That wasn’t play, anyway. That was instruction.
“Think she’ll show?” asked Alicia.
Before he could answer, Craig said, “Hey, I was looking at floggers the other day, and I wanted your opinion.”
Craig at least got that he didn’t want to talk about his mood or his plans, and if his attempt to change the subject was unsubtle, it was still appreciated. They spent the next ten minutes talking about the feel of various kinds of leather and the best craftsmen to buy floggers from.
Karen entered the room, and for a moment, the conversation stopped. She was on the arm of Alex, one of the Doms who was at Knotty and Nice almost every night. Alex was skilled with a flogger and would probably be even better at answering Craig’s question than Parker was. On another night, Parker would have waved him over. Instead, he almost looked past the man.
Karen, who usually wore a dress at the club except when she was playing, was almost naked. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before many times, but in this situation it was striking. And her outfit was new too: a triangle bikini top and thong that seemed to be made of string and dozens of small golden coins. The coins jangled as she walked. She had set them off with golden bracelets and anklets and matching high heels. She was gorgeous. With her long dark hair and tanned complexion, she looked like some kind of exotic slave girl from another place and time.
She saw him looking, he was sure of it. Then she squeezed Alex’s arm, and he steered her in another direction.
“Well, so much for that idea,” said Parker under his breath.
In the silence that followed, he realized both of his friends were staring at him. “What?” he asked.
They gave him a collective shrug, and then Craig nodded as if to indicate there was something behind him he should look at. He turned, expecting to see Karen. Instead, the pretty coed he’d played with the week before was there. She was wearing a black skirt that didn’t cover her ass and a completely transparent white shirt that displayed her firm, perky breasts.
“Sir,” she asked. “May I speak?”
“Of course you can speak.” He remembered enjoying her deference. Now it grated on him. “Please speak, Violet.”
“I very much enjoyed our play last week and was wondering if we could do so again, Sir.”
He thought for a moment. Karen, obviously, was going to be occupied. Alex was one of the people in the scene who did one thing, and did it well, and wasn’t very interested in anything else. That thing was flogging, so what would happen between him and Karen was entirely predictable. Alex would have her in subspace and probably keep her there for an hour. If Parker played, he’d be distracted and wouldn’t have to watch. Karen wouldn’t notice—unless their scene went badly. Or hadn’t started. She might be watching now.
“Should I kneel, Sir?” Violet asked.
Just what Karen wants to see. Then again, maybe I should make her jealous. Maybe she’s trying to make me jealous. It was tempting. He hesitated for a moment and then shook his head. “No, thank you,” he said. “As I was telling my friends, I’m not playing tonight. If you’re looking for someone to play with, I’d recommend Starcharm. She’s an expert with her clamps and things like that, and knows how to weave them into a really sensuous scene. She’s over there at the bar.” Violet was new, and she should be experiencing different things to find out what she liked.
Violet glanced over. “I don’t swing that way.”
“You’d learn something. BDSM isn’t always about sex,” he said.
“It is if it’s good.”
He shrugged. “Well. Hope you find someone safe tonight.”
“I could just, well, we could get a condom, and I could give you a blowjob, Sir.”
He was sure that would be satisfying and help him with the tension he was feeling. But he shook his head. He felt like a patsy, with Karen off playing with Alex, but he wasn’t going to play with anyone in front of Karen until they’d had a good talk about what was bothering her.
“Okay then,” Violet said and walked away. She did a hip swing that was undoubtedly for his benefit, as if to say see what you’re missing, and the skirt did as poor a job of covering her backside as Parker had thought it would. He had to admit she had a fine ass.
“Why not?” asked Alicia. “She seems pretty into you.”
“There are other people she can learn from. With more and different skills. Karen freaked out last time.” He regretted saying it immediately. But he didn’t like to dissemble, and his filters were particularly down with these two. He’d been very open with them as they were learning about the scene. They had needed that. It was easier, he thought, to find out you were kinky and then find people who were suitable, than to decide on a person and then figure out how to be kinky together. But somehow Craig and Alicia had pulled it off.
“Not sure it’s all about skills,” said Craig.
Alicia added, “Karen’s with someone else tonight, and yet you still care. You really care about her.”
“I care about everyone I play with.”
“But not the way you do with Karen,” Alicia persisted.
Parker looked to Craig, but Craig shrugged. I’m not going to be rescued by a change of topic this time. Besides, he knew Alicia was right.
“I don’t know why,” Alicia said, “you don’t tell her you love her. Maybe she should know how you feel.”
Parker frowned. “Karen knows how I feel about her. It’s important not to use those w
ords lightly. They can cause a lot of hurt, in my experience. Yes, I love her, but I love a lot of people. I love you two. I don’t want to say something that doesn’t mean the same thing to her as it does to me, because that’s a kind of dishonesty. I’d need to be sure. And I don’t know how you get sure of that.” He turned away to look for Karen.
Her top was off, and she was with Alex and one of the St. Andrew’s crosses. They looked like they were discussing how she should position herself, and Karen turned her back to Parker. It was a shame, because he was enjoying looking at her breasts even as he was knotting up inside. He gripped the soda can in his hand tightly.
“You care a lot,” Alicia said, tapping his hand.
“You know, it’s a Dom’s job to be that perceptive,” he said, knowing that she was right and communication was a two-way street. “Anyway, I don’t care if she plays with other people. I want her to be happy. And if Alex can take her to a good place, that’s good. I just hope she’s doing it for that reason and not to get back at me, that’s all.”
“Uh-huh,” said Alicia without conviction.
“I’ll watch.” He turned his chair so he could see the scene unfold, to prove how comfortable he was with it. He had meant what he said. And Alex was skilled, Parker knew that. He resolved to get vicarious pleasure from Karen’s scene.
Alex wrapped a blindfold around Karen and then tied two wide red ribbons around her head to seal off any possible edges. Thorough. Nice.
Then he tied her to the X frame. Cuffs would have been faster, but Alex used rope, and usually rope wasn’t Alex’s thing. Maybe he was branching out. Nonetheless, he tied her securely, wrists and ankles, carefully checking his knots. It seemed to Parker to take forever until Alex was satisfied.
Alex picked up two lightweight, thuddy floggers made of deerskin. Swishing them through the air, he weaved them seamlessly past each other, thudding each against Karen’s back in turn. It was almost more of a dance than a flogging, using the techniques of poi spinning. Effective, but more show than substance. That was fine for a warm up. He better care more about her than how he looks, though. The two-handed, so-called Florentine flogging, was a great way to attract play partners, but it wasn’t any better than one-handed for how it felt on a bottom, in Parker’s opinion.
Too Hip for Love Page 2
