The great myth about Florida was that we didn't get seasons, or at least changing ones. It was true that our leaves never fell to make way for winter. We didn't get snow. But we had the rains that turned everything green. Those would end soon to give way to a dry, chilled winter where, yes, we'd have to break out our coats. Grasses would turn brown, flowers would hide away, the ocean would grow cold. Then all at once, everything would burst with color again and residents returned to the beach - when it wasn't raining.
Those were our seasons. The only ones I'd ever known. For so long, they'd controlled my life. The surf was good in the winter, flat in the summer. The cold water required different attire. The diner was busiest in winter, as well, when the northerners were in town seeking a little warmth, and traffic was a nightmare.
This year, I could already feel myself starting to change, but it was more than my routine. Jay was right. It was odd for me to consider myself 'good'.
I kicked at the water, splashing it up towards Jay who was staying dry on the shore and grinning.
“You just can't stay out of the water, can you?” he asked with a chuckle.
I shrugged, gripping my shoes tighter in my hand. We weren't the only people on the beach tonight, but were far enough away so we wouldn't be overheard.
“Jay,” I looked over at him. “I need to know what I'm missing here with Jamie. I feel like I'm going crazy.”
In the dark, I could still see him as he scratched the back of his head. “I don't get why you care so much.”
Sighing, I left the water behind and walked up beside him, the sand sticking to my wet feet.
“Tell me.” I took his hand in mine as he studied my face, looking for something.
“Look.” He blew out a long breath. “I know he kissed you.”
“I figured. Are you really that good of a mind reader?”
“No, Jamie called me right after, freaking out a bit. I was surprised because he doesn't exactly come to his big brother for advice. When he said it was about you, I understood. If I had been there I would have punched him.”
“What did he say?” My voice was small.
“That it was impulsive and stupid because of you and me.”
I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, the breath leaving me in a whoosh.
“Did you tell him we're just friends now?” I asked.
“Hell no.” He growled. “I figured it wasn't a welcome kiss.” He turned to me, his voice low. “He isn't good enough for you, Callie.”
I flinched away from him when he tried to put his arm around me. What he was saying wasn't anything I hadn't told myself, except in my mind it was always me that wasn't good enough for Jamie. Someone like Amelia was much more his speed. I didn't know why my mind went there. I. Did. Not. Have. Feelings. For. Jamie. Daniels.
“Jay, there is nothing between me and your brother except this stupid project we have to do. If there's some way you can help me understand him …”
“You want me to share some big family secret because of a school project?” I could practically hear him grinning at how stupid that sounded.
“It's me, okay. We know everything about each other.”
“You're right. Fine, I'll tell you the sordid details, but this has to go in the vault. My dad is planning a run for US Congress next year.”
“Wait.” I held him back. “Really? You're going to be a senator's son? Rather than just a state senator's kid?”
“Shit.” He rubbed a hand across his face. “I wasn't supposed to say anything. Jamie doesn't even know.”
“And, that brings us to the why. What is it about Jamie that I don't know? Why did he suddenly avoid me after what I said - other than when he kissed me out of the blue. I don't understand him at all.” I threw my arms in the air and stalked further up the beach before plunking my butt in the sand.
Jay lowered himself beside me. “Okay, so you know my dad.”
“Kinda,” I admitted. “Not really. He's never been around when I've been at your house over the years.”
“He's not the warmest guy in the world. When I was two, my parents almost got a divorce. Dad has been in politics in some form my entire life and has always had to travel quite a bit and spend a lot of time in Tallahassee. My mom told me this full story when I was nine and I've never quite forgotten the look on her face when she did. I was one and Dad was in the capitol for about a month. He didn't come home a lot when he was there. This time though, a woman showed up at our door. She was claiming to have had an affair with Dad.” Jay paused. “I can just imagine my mom's face.”
“Her name was Candice.”
I gasped.
“He told you his middle name?” Jay asked, cocking his head. “He doesn't tell anyone that.”
“I sort of overheard your dad using his full name. I can't believe he'd name him after his mistress.”
“Candice wasn't just Dad's mistress, she was Jamie's mom.”
My head spun as Jay continued to explain.
“James Candice Daniels was the name she'd put on his birth certificate, but she left the mother blank, wanting my mom to claim him. She left her three-week-old son with us that day. Mom almost left Dad, but she stayed, for his career. He hired a nanny to take care of me and Jamie so Mom wouldn't have much to do with Jamie. She never was able to bond with him and he could feel it. He was eight when he finally found out why.”
“Mom started to drink.”
I grabbed Jay's hand, knowing small pieces of this next part of the story.
He went on. “They hid it well - for his political career. The world thinks Jamie is her son. Dad has never shown anything but disdain for him, when he's not ignoring him altogether.”
He stopped and looked at me. “My brother grew up basically without any parents. When he got old enough to see that, his resentment of me drove us apart as well.”
My throat was dry as his words permeated my heart. I'd been wrong about everything. Now I got it, why he wanted to seek invincibility. Why he wanted to do it with me.
It was the only way to keep our lives from swallowing us whole.
* * *
My birthday dawned bright and beautiful. Blue skies. Puffy white clouds. I sat on the front steps of the house, sipping a coffee and cringing with every drop that hit my taste buds. I figured I'd try. I was eighteen now. Legally an adult. Colby had been drinking the stuff for years and Kat was practically addicted. I didn't get it.
Mug in hand, I got to my feet and went inside to the kitchen. Sugar. That made everything better. I dumped one spoonful in, considering the dark liquid.
“No way in hell that's enough to cover up the taste,” I mumbled to myself, proceeding with three more large spoonfuls of sugary goodness.
I had a sweet tooth. That was no secret. Jay constantly made fun of me for it. The thought of him made me get the distinct impression I'd forgotten something as I lazed around all morning. Kat wasn't making us work and Colby was at Morgan's.
“Shit, Kat.” Looking up at the clock, I realized I was supposed to meet her and Jay for breakfast half an hour ago. Coffee sloshed over the side when I slammed my mug on the counter and ran to my room. No time for a shower, I kicked aside clothes that were scattered across the floor on my way to my closet.
I tugged on a pair of jeans and threw a random blue shirt over my head. California was now scrawled across my boobs. Ironic to some, funny to others. It was Jay's idea of a joke when he'd gone to L.A. last year and bought it in some touristy shop. Right now, I only cared that it was clean.
Tugging on my shoes while running was a skill I'd perfected over years of being late and it didn't let me down now. I snatched my keys from the kitchen counter and jumped into my car just as my phone started to ring.
“Hey, Jay,” I said, trying to turn the car on. “I'm on my way.” I didn't hear his response, because the only thing my mind could focus on was the too-feint sputtering, followed by an eerie silence from the engine.
“Come on, baby.” I turned
the key again. “Jay, I'll call you back. I might be a few minutes.”
Throwing the phone on the seat beside me, I tried one more time, banging on the dash-board with my free hand as if all it needed was a little love tap. That wasn't all it needed.
“Not today.” I sighed, getting out of the truck and staring at it in betrayal. We'd been through a lot, her and me. She was like an old friend - a very old one.
I turned when the sound of another car nearby reached my ears. A much more expensive car. Probably one that never breaks down.
Jamie looked at me through the windshield for a moment before cutting the engine and stepping out. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't help it, I looked at him and saw a different guy than before. I knew now that he had that expensive car because he was given money and very little else.
I knew the strain around his eyes was caused by more than their recent soccer loss. That he got mean when he got close to someone because he couldn't really trust them. Except for my brother. I realized in that moment that Colby must have known. After Mom died, he spent more time at Jamie's house than our own.
I looked away, unable to bear the thought of how my words must have hurt him. He knew we were more alike than different.
“What's up with your pile of junk?” he asked, eying old red with a skepticism that offended me.
“I'll have you know, she's running just fine.” I gritted my teeth.
“Liar,” he challenged. It seemed we were always at odds.
“Gah, fine.” I gave in, wanting to strangle him and hug him at the same time. “It won't start and I'm already late for breakfast.”
“Always,” he muttered under his breath.
“I'm not always late.” I scratched the side of my face and looked at him. “Fine. Whatever. I suck at life. Can you please just give me a ride?”
“Where's Colby?” He glanced around.
“Where else? At Morgan's.”
“Fine,” he said, gesturing to his car. “But you're buying me breakfast.” That was a running joke between all of us and it relieved some of the tension as I got in the car. Jamie and Jay always got free food at Ally's so no one needed to buy them anything.
The ride was too short for much conversation, which I was glad for. I didn't know what to do. Did I tell him that I knew? That I was sorry? That I understood?
Jay was already seated at the counter and I slid in beside him with Jamie next to me.
Kat smiled at me from behind the counter. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
“It might be time to put Old Red to rest,” I announced sadly. “Third time she's quit on me this week.”
“I'm sorry, Cal. I know how much that truck means to you.”
I shrugged, doing my best to look nonchalant. “This summer the mechanic said I probably shouldn't be driving her so I knew it was coming.”
Kat set a steaming plate of pancakes and bacon in front of me as if she had it ready the moment I walked in the door.
“No hash browns?” I asked through a mouthful, raising one eyebrow.
“Sometimes I still forget you eat as much as Colby's entire soccer team,” she laughed, placing my order for hash browns on the pass-through window.
“That,” I said, waving a piece of bacon in front of my face. “Is an exaggeration. Oh, and I'm buying douche bag's breakfast.”
“That'd be me,” Jamie cut in, eying my bacon.
“So, he'll have eggs with mushrooms and onions.”
Jamie was gagging beside me. There were no three foods he hated more. I honestly didn't get how anyone hated eggs.
“French toast with extra bacon coming up,” Kat winked at him and a smug smile appeared on his face.
“Ooo, and I want coffee.” I said.
“Since when?” Jay asked.
“Now.”
Kat set a mug down in front of me and I turned the sugar container upside-down over it, a single long stream of sugar dropping into the coffee. Jay and Jamie both stared at me, their mouths hanging open as I put the sugar down, stirred, and took a sip.
“Soooo much better,” I sighed.
Jay chuckled as Jamie snorted and Kat shook her head.
“Callie, when you're done eating, can you meet me in the back?”
“Sure thing. Just giving me a minute.”
I shoveled food into my mouth, not talking to the boys much. They didn't say a word to each other either. I finished my food and hopped off the stool.
Kat was in the back, waiting for me, a small box in hand.
“Kat, you didn't have to get me anything,” I said.
“This isn't from me.”
“Then who …” My mouth went dry. “Mom?”
She smiled sadly. “Open it.”
I took the box gingerly in my hands, flipping it over, letting the softness brush against my skin. Did she hold this very box? The edges were fraying slightly, but other than that it was perfect. Perfect because what was inside was hers.
I pulled it open slowly, revealing a gold chain on which hung a locket shaped like a surfboard. Hesitating slightly, I used my fingernails to pry it open. Nestled inside was a picture of Mom, the diner in the background, and a baby in each arm.
Kat wiped a tear from my cheek. “Only happy thoughts today, okay? Your mom loved you and that's what matters. Remember that, and it isn't like she's gone at all.”
“Thanks, aunt Kat. Just … thank you.”
“Happy eighteenth, California.”
* * *
Colby's party was pretty epic by our school's standards. Everyone we knew was there. I didn't know if they got that it was a birthday party, but whatever.
It was what happened beforehand that stuck with me. Colby and I went to pick up Jamie and Jay. They were going to help us start the fire on the beach, just like old times.
Jay came out quickly as if wanting to escape something on the inside.
“Jamie will be a few minutes, guys,” he said, climbing into the back. “He's dealing with … stuff.” I had my visor down and he caught my eye in the mirror.
“Shit,” Colby cursed as voices drifted out to us.
“When will you stop being an embarrassment to this family?” Mr. Daniels screamed. It was followed by a crash.
“Screw you.” Jamie's voice was unmistakable. “Like I even want to be a part of this family.” He stumbled out the front door, followed closely by his father, who threw something large at him. It shattered on the sidewalk and Jamie jumped out of the way, towards the car.
He got in, slamming the door as he did. “Let's get the hell out of here.” Cheeks red - from exertion, or embarrassment, I didn't know - but I looked back at him; at the bruise winding up his nose. He met my gaze in challenge, daring me to say something so he'd have someone to snap at. I wasn't going to be that person. Turning in my seat, I looked towards the road.
For once, I wasn't going to be his verbal punching bag. No, I could do something else for him. I could make him forget, just for a moment. Maybe that was enough.
Chapter Fourteen
Callie:
“Psssst, Jamie.” I whispered, kneeling down beside the couch. He was asleep in our living room on one couch, with Colby on the other. I'd left the party early, but they'd stayed for a while.
“Wake up.” At my nudge, he groaned in his sleep and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow.
He was shirtless and the blanket had fallen to the ground at some time in the night, revealing his smooth skin, marred by faint bruises and a scar that stretched over the lean muscles in his back. A surfing mishap. I'd been there the day he'd crashed into the rocks, hopping right back up as if nothing had happened and everything was okay - something he'd perfected throughout his life.
“Wake up.” I glanced over at Colby, not wanting to wake him. He'd have questions as to why I was rousing his best friend in the wee hours of the morning. The sun was just starting to rise and we had to get going.
One of Jamie's legs fell off the side of the couch as h
e shifted onto his back, one arm thrown over his face and the other resting on his bare chest. I watched him for a moment, suddenly not sure I should wake him after all.
Screw that. “Jamie C- Daniels.” It almost slipped out of my mouth, that name. Reaching out, I grabbed his shoulder, his skin warm under my palm, and shook him lightly.
He started abruptly, his eyes slamming open, and his hand shooting out to grab my arm. It took him a second to truly wake and realize where he was. His fingers pried themselves from my bicep and I rubbed the place they'd been.
“If that leaves a bruise, Jamie, I swear to God …” The threat hung in the air between us and a lazy smile formed on his lips.
I was still kneeling, my face close to his, and I realized how intimate it was. Leaning back to get some distance, I waited for him to say something.
“Well, if you weren't waking me up so early, your bony little arm would be just fine.”
“My arm is not bony,” I said defiantly.
His smile widened. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he looked around. “Why are you waking me up? Realize you can't live without me for one second longer?”
I put my hand over his mouth to shut him up as Colby stirred and placed a finger in front of my lips. “Do you want to do our project or not?”
“Now?” He leaned back against his pillow like he didn't want to leave it.
“Yes, now. Get your ass out of bed and for God's sake put on a shirt.”
“Can't stand all this manliness?” He scooted to the edge of the couch to get closer to me. “Does being near a sexy man upset your sensibilities?”
“I'll let you know when I meet one.” Patting him on the cheek, I stood.
“Oh, Callie, you do wound me so.”
A laugh escaped at the way he looked with his hands over his heart and his lip stuck out in a pout. Reaching down to grab his hands, I pulled him up. “Come on.”
Chapter Fifteen
Jamie:
We Thought We Were Invincible Page 7
