Things were still a little on edge in the crib. No matter how much I was making things better for us as a couple, Aeysha was still feeling like shit as a person. Me lacking in the commitment department definitely wasn’t making it no better. She didn’t have proof about me and Simone, but her woman’s intuition was on high alert.
Hopefully, this would make her feel better, though.
“Wow, babe! This shit is hot!”
Though Aeysha was saying words that were giving me props, she still looked uneasy and not too happy for me. I knew that she didn’t like me working for Ching. She didn’t want me ending up locked up. And I know that, as a woman, she knew that mo’ money brought in mo’ bitches.
“You can have the Impala,” I told her handing her the keys. “I’ll get you a new whip as soon as I can.”
On that note, Eboni excused herself and went into the house. When I thought Aeysha would be ecstatic, she was barely grateful.
“Thank you,” she hardly said.
“What’s wrong?”
She sighed and answered, “Nothing.”
I didn’t know what the fuck else to do. Here I was giving her a car, when she hadn’t had one in years, and she was still moping.
“Here. I can’t get you a whip right now, but you can at least go shopping.” I stuck my hand in my pocket and handed her a couple hundred bucks. Still, there wasn’t a smile on her face! I knew that her issue wasn’t totally with me. If she had something going on for herself I knew she would feel better, but that was out of my control.
But at least I was doing what was in my control. Being able to pay my own bills and kick my girl down put me on ten. Yet, here she was with a car and shopping money with her lip poked out. She was blowing me. Luckily, Ching pulled up right behind me as expected. He hollered at me about an hour before telling me that he was meeting me at my crib so that I could take a ride with him to take care of some business.
When Aeysha peeped Ching pulling up, she got even more frustrated. “So you’re about to bounce?”
“I’ll be right back.”
“You’ll always be right back, Omari!”
Then she had the nerve to throw the bills that I gave her in my face and stomp off towards the house. I didn’t even argue with her. I picked up the money, noticing that she damn sure didn’t throw them car keys. She slammed the front door hard as hell. I didn’t even take it personally. I knew she was going through some internal shit. I wasn’t about to stop making shit better for myself and her because it was making her feel insecure.
“Trouble in paradise, Pretty Boy?”
I snickered as I climbed into Ching’s box chevy. “Something like that. Where we on our way to?”
“Gotta make a quick move,” was all he said. Then he pulled off, bumping Jay Z’s Holy Grail album.
Though I got robbed two weeks ago, Ching was pulling me further into his camp. Shit, I thought he was going to stop fucking with me on the hustle side after that robbery. I had already fucked up when he tried to put me on the block years ago, so I thought the robbery was the icing on the cake. But he took it in stride. He told me that he would handle it and kept giving me more work. Not only that, he was also pushing me more into the front lines of his business. I was more present on the block; picking up money and checking on the block boys. I was even talking directly to the connect when it came to making shipments. It was making it easier for Ching to lay in the cut and was putting more money in my pocket.
Ching was pretty quiet as we rode. I knew he was high as hell ‘cuz his eyes were damn near low to the ground and bloodshot red. The music was so loud that I couldn’t say shit anyway. I was really too busy thinking about Aeysha’s ungrateful ass to say more than two words anyway. Eventually, I dozed off. Next thing I knew, Ching was waking me up with a hard nudge on the shoulder.
“Wake up, nigga.”
When I sat up, I realized that we were at a lake, hidden amongst brush and trees. What area of the city we were in, I didn’t know. We’d driven pretty far though because, after looking at the clock, I realized that I had been sleep for about forty-five minutes.
Ching hopped out the car without a word. When he went to the trunk, I figured he was meeting somebody here to make a drop. So, I met him at the trunk thinking nothing of it. But when he popped it open, my heart dropped to my stomach.
“Yo, man! What the fuck?!”
I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was some nigga, bound by his wrist and ankles, with duct tape over his mouth inside the fucking trunk! He was crying and everything.
“Is that the nigga?”
It freaked me out how calm Ching was. I probably looked like a bitch to him because I was just as freaked out as the nigga in the trunk!
“Is that the nigga or what, man?! Is that the nigga that stole my shit?!”
I couldn’t answer Ching because I was stuck. Me and the nigga in the trunk just stared at each other. It freaked me out how, even though his mouth was taped shut, I could tell that his eyes were telling me to lie and save his life.
Real talk, I honestly couldn’t tell if this was the same dude that robbed. “Ching, man, I told you they had on hoodies and bandanas.”
“But he had dreads, right?!”
“Yea.”
Walking towards the trunk, he barked while pointing at the nigga’s feet. “Exactly! And them Lebron’s, ain’t they?!”
I looked at the nigga’s feet and sho’ nuff his stupid ass was wearing them Lebron’s. I couldn’t even say shit. I just shook my head in disbelief.
Before I knew it, Ching had grabbed this little nigga, picked him up like it wasn’t shit, and threw him on the ground a couple of feet away from the car. His head hit the concrete so hard that I even cringed as I could have sworn I heard his fucking skull crack. He flinched and rolled around in pain. By the look in his eyes, I could see that he was dazed from the blow.
My instincts led me to look to see if anybody was around, but they weren’t. It was a pretty secluded area that was well hidden by trees. But just like Ching knew about this spot, somebody else probably did too.
Before I could search the perimeter completely, two shots brought my attention back to Ching.
Pow! Pow!
Shocked as shit, I spun around to see Ching putting his glock back in his waist. Now, the lil’ dude was laying on the ground lifeless as blood and brain matter poured from two holes in his head.
“Help me carry this nigga to the lake, man.”
I was glad that Ching had his back to me, that way he couldn’t see me cringing and looking at him like he was crazy as fuck. I assumed shit like this had to go down every now and then in the drug game, but gawd damn not like this! I figured Ching had little nigga’s to do shit like this for him. But I guess he had taken it pretty personal that these young niggas had the audacity to steal from him.
“C’mon, nigga!” Ching was barking as he struggled to pick up the body on his own. “Hurry the fuck up before somebody come.”
I didn’t want to touch that fucking body. I didn’t want no parts of the shit. But shit, I was there, so I was already an accessory at that point. Plus, Ching had a look in his eyes that I had never seen before, so I just did what the fuck he told me to do.
As we carried the body a few feet to a shallow part of the lake, I had to force myself not to throw up. I had never seen a dead body or gunshot wound close up. The holes in this nigga’s head was leaking all kinds of shit.
We put the body in the water and watched it as it floated out. I couldn’t believe my eyes as he went head first into the lake, with his eyes still open. Once he began to sink, Ching was good and decided it was time to jet out. We both rode in silence. Wasn’t shit to be heard but Jay Z talking about being caught up in lights and cameras. As we approached the ramp for the highway, I realized that we were right off of Cline Avenue in Hammond, Indiana.
Simone
I hadn’t seen much of Tammy since my drunken rant a few weeks ago. Yes, I was a little embarrassed t
hat I let my secrets out like that. I guess a drunk mind really does speak a sober truth. I wasn’t ashamed of the men that I had chosen to date. I just knew that most women thought less of a woman that chose to be the side bitch.
Tammy didn’t know how hard it was out here. She had so many advantages. She was biracial, black and Puerto Rican, which gave her an exotic look that men in 2013 were going for. She claimed being Black because she thought the shit was cool, but her daddy was a full blooded Puerto Rican. Not only that, she was built like a brick house. She had advantages when it came to men that I didn’t, so of course she would give me that shameful ass look when she heard of my indiscretions. She didn’t know how it was to pull tricks and play games to get a man’s attention because she always had their attention. She didn’t know how it was to be cool with being the bitch on the side because she was always the main bitch.
But I hooked up with her on a Wednesday evening to specifically let her know that I had a man that was all my own now. No, Omari and I hadn’t made our relationship official yet. But he was mine. I knew the day that we became official was coming soon.
“What’s up, Simone? Took you long enough.”
I met Tammy at a bar downtown on Lake Street. She refused to go anywhere in the city because she was still hiding from Jimmy, who had still yet to be caught by the police.
“I’m sorry, girl,” I told her as I sat at the bar next to her. “Traffic was horrible. How you feelin’?”
Tammy rolled her eyes and had the same solemn look on her face that she had the last time I saw her. Despite being sad, she looked pretty, as always. She had on distress straight legged high-waist light blue jeans with a white cami and white peep toe five inch pumps. The whole outfit magnified her DD breasts, thirty inch waist, and forty-four inch hips. Her hair was up in a messy bun. She had on little make-up, but her skin was so pretty that she didn’t need much.
I envied her. I felt like if I looked like her, getting a man to love me enough to commit to me, and only me, wouldn’t have been so damn hard. Hell, Jimmy wanted to kill her just because he didn’t want her to be with anyone else. Yet, Tre was willing to damn near kill me to keep me away from him!
“I been okay, I guess. Been cooped up in that house. I wish they would find Jimmy’s crazy ass so that my life can get back to normal.”
“Do they have any leads?”
With a hard roll of the eye, Tammy answered, “No. However, I can say that they are diligently looking for him. I don’t need them looking for him, though. I need them to find him. I can’t keep living my life looking over my shoulder. This whack ass restraining order doesn’t mean a gawd damn thing. It’s like playing rock, paper, scissors; but except scissors, the motherfucka has a gun!”
“Has his family heard from him?”
“No, and they are thankfully very cooperative with the police. They can’t believe he tried to kill me either. His mother is so ashamed.” Ordering a double shot of Ciroc from the bartender, Tammy continued to vent. “I’m just so sick of living my life on the edge. I had to watch my back just to come here! I have a fucking panic attack every time the littlest things startle me.”
As I ordered Sangria from the bartender, Tammy sighed heavily. “But anyway. What’s been up with you? Haven’t heard from you much.”
“Well,” I said with a smile. “I been kinda beau’d up.”
With a nasty expression, she replied, “With Tre?!”
“No! Omari,” I was happy to tell her.
“The sexy UPS driver that you had a crush on?!”
I giggled like a school girl. “Yes.”
And with a judgmental tone and scrutinizing glance, she asked me, “Is he single?”
“Yes, he’s single!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes! Gawd damn! What is that suppose to mean?” I was irritated like hell as I paid the bartender. Who the fuck was Tammy to judge me?
“Hey, you the one said you have never had a man that was your own,” she replied with a giggle.
“It’s better than having a man hitting me over the head,” I shot back, referring to Jimmy.
“He was my man, though.”
Tammy
Admittedly, I was little tipsy when I walked into the house at about one in the morning. Simone copped an attitude and left me at the bar. She didn’t like the way I responded to the magical relationship that she was suddenly in.
If she wasn’t batshit crazy when it came to men, I would have probably had a different reaction when she came in boasting about having this new beau. But, on top of admitting to me that she never had her own man, and despite her falling in love and stalking many of them to my knowledge, I didn’t believe shit she said.
I needed to hear it from Omari’s mouth that they were together and as happy as she claimed. Anyway, after she threw Jimmy’s abuse in my face, I let her ass have it. I told her ass that me being abused by my man can never compare to her being ran over and treated by men who didn’t think enough of her to claim her ass. I would rather have a man chase me because he doesn’t want anyone else to have me then me chasing his ass because he up under another bitch.
She left after that, so I drank alone and listened to the live reggae band until it was almost to the point that I might be too tipsy to drive home. Then I realized that my drunk ass was way too vulnerable for Jimmy to still be out on the loose.
Anyway, I showered quickly so that I could get in the bed. Life was weighing down on me. Despite Jimmy’s obsessed ass still stalking me every chance he got, I had the nerve to constantly have Donte and that kiss on the brain. I felt so stupid. I had more serious things to think about than Donte– like my life! I should have been worried about how I was going to get on with my life with Jimmy free, not obsessing over if Donte would ever have the same feelings for me.
After we kissed, he laughed and blamed it on me being drunk. I had no choice but to agree because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. I truly believed that after I played Donte by leaving him for Jimmy, he refused to let me back into that space, while still being the friend to me that he has always been. For instance, as I slipped on my Victoria’s Secret sleep shirt and climbed into bed, I could hear Donte coming into the condo. I could hear him in his room fumbling around and then in the bathroom as he showered. I just lay there listening to the water, unable to sleep because the fluctuation and instability of my life was giving me insomnia, no matter how much liquor I had in me.
And as always, Donte came into my room. Assuming that I was asleep, he tiptoed through the darkness and carefully climbed into bed behind me. His body spooned with mine and it took everything for me to keep my heart from going out to him. I told my heart to realize that this man was there for my protection and friendship – nothing more nothing less.
But my pussy– that bitch wasn’t hearing that.
Though he showered, I could smell the Patron coming from his pores. I hoped that the liquor had him delusional just enough that he would take advantage of me. To encourage him, I moved slowly so that my ass would rub against his dick as it lie closely behind me. I could feel it hardening against my backside. I was happy to know that if Donte was able to ignore the lustful past we shared, his dick wasn’t. Just to feel his erection excited me. A good fuck was just what I needed to make me feel better, even if temporarily. I reached behind me and held his dick in my hands. I was shocked when he didn’t stop me. I was enticed when I could hear low moans in his throat.
I figured this was my chance if ever I would have one, so I quickly turned over, disappeared under the sheets, and put his chocolate stiff pulsating manhood in my mouth. I was scared that he would stop me, scared that his senses would turn common. Yet, when I could feel his hand on my bun, guiding my wet mouth up and down his blessed, elongated, and broad dick, I knew that he had surrendered to this head. His dick traveled down my throat, reaching spots that hadn’t been touched since the last time I sucked his dick, and I gagged. The gagging turned him on, allowing his moans to bec
ome even louder and more inviting.
He began to pulsate inside of my mouth so intensively that I feared he was going to cum. I aborted that mission and quickly hopped on top of him and slid down his dick like a pole. We both burst out whimpers of pleasure as we ravished one another.
We kissed like animals while I rode him like a beast.
EIGHT
TUESDAY, AUGUST 13, 2013
Aeysha
By mid August, much hadn’t changed for me. I was still unemployed, but I pretty much rode the tread off of the tires of the Impala going to interview after interview. I was on my way to one at a Pyson, a vacuum company whose headquarters was downtown, for a customer service representative position. It didn’t pay a whole lot, but the hours were flexible so that when I was able to get in school, I could do both.
Physically a lot hadn’t changed, but emotionally, I was getting better. Rather than letting the usual insecurities and stresses get to me, I had been staying prayed up. I gave all of my problems to God and asked him to answer them for me. I knew that he would answer my prayers and show me signs of what to do and when.
I was confused about whether He was showing me signs to leave Omari alone. Though Omari was taking care of the bills, keeping cash in my pocket, and even having sex with me again, the deeper he got into the drug game with Ching, the less available he was to me. Not to mention, he was often out until three in the morning. I knew that the drug game was a twenty-four hour business, but I still had that gut feeling that Omari was fucking with somebody. Me and that man had been together through thick and thin, through good and bad. The universe was granting his wishes and giving him the better life that he wanted. I honestly refused to leave him over a gut feeling to give another woman the opportunity to enjoy that fortune, especially when I was the one that had gone through the trenches with him.
I also wanted the chance to show him that I too could do better. I felt like such a burden to Omari. Besides his mother, he had to take care of me too. I wanted to show him that I could get on my feet, get a job, and, hell, even lose some of this damn weight. I wanted the chance to show him the woman that I use to be, even if it was right before leaving his cheating behind. At the time, it wasn’t much I could say about his late nights and constant absence because he was taking care of everything. But as soon as I had some ground to stand on I was ready to make him change or I was stepping.
Secrets of a Side Bitch Page 6
