by Jillian Neal
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
“What were you going to ask me?”
If she hadn’t asked Aaron was going to let it go. He was pushing too hard yet again. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Tell me.”
“If this wigs you out, just say so.”
“Okay.”
He chanced a quick look her way. The sinking sunlight melted into the cornstalks outside his windshield and played in the strands of her dirty-blonde hair. It highlighted the strands of gold. Innocence and devotion to him had her seated right beside him, clinging to his arm. For a half second he swore there was an actual halo around her head. “I’m a bastard. You should dump me now.”
“Would you stop it? What the hell? You’re pretty much the greatest guy ever.”
“You don’t know what I was about to ask.”
“It can’t be that bad.”
“It pretty much was.”
“Just ask me.”
“Nope.”
“If you don’t ask, I’ll pinch you and I rope better than Austin. I’ll make it hurt.”
“Ironic,” he sighed.
“What?”
“Fine, I’ll ask. Your answer will be no which will only cement me as the world’s biggest jerk. Least that way I’ll get the idea out of my system. Maybe.”
Her fingers dug into his thigh. It didn’t hurt but the girl was strong as hell. “Hey, I said I’d ask you. I thought I only got pinched if I didn’t.”
“That was for you calling yourself a jerk.”
Aaron laughed at his own ridiculous idea in hopes she’d let this go.
“So, ask me.”
“Fine. Do you know what nipple clamps are?”
“Well, not exactly but I’m going to go with clamps you put on your nipples.” Her hand flew back to the charm on her necklace. He lambasted himself for ever bringing them up.
“Good guess.”
“They sound interesting.” Her right eyebrow arched.
“They can be.”
“I take it you think I might like them.”
“Most of them are way too much for you. I don’t mess with that shit. Never have. Don’t do torture. There are others, just for pleasure play, I think you might enjoy.”
“I don’t like the word torture in any scenario ever.”
“Me either.”
“And do you own a set of the other kind or something?”
“No, baby. Haven’t been with anyone but you in a long time, remember? Just thought I could get you some if you want to experiment.”
“You cannot order those and have them sent to your house. The mailman opens everything. You know this.”
“I wasn’t going to order them. I may be a rat bastard but I’m not an idiot.”
“I mostly just like when your hands are on them.” Heat bloomed across her cheeks.
Unable to help himself, he leaned and brushed a kiss over her fevered skin. “Trust me, I love that, too. I’m more than happy to improvise some clamps with my fingers. Just trying to figure out your kink level, I guess.”
“I’m not sure how kinky I am. I’ll probably bore you soon.”
“Natalie Jessica Camden, if I wasn’t driving I swear to you I would turn you over my knee. What the hell? I’m in love with you. That’s not gonna change. I don’t give a damn if you never want to get kinkier than we already have. Never say that again.”
His vehemence eased the tension slowly knotting itself in Natalie’s stomach. Talk of nipple clamps had her on edge. She found herself giggling at his irritation. “Only my mama yells at me with all three names. When did I even tell you my middle name?”
“Uh, you mentioned it one night when we were talking a few months ago.”
If it hadn’t been such a trivial thing, she would’ve sworn he was lying. His knuckles whitened against the steering wheel. Before she could contemplate further, they were parking behind the bar.
Readying herself for a night of loud music, louder cowboys, and general annoyance, she hopped out of the truck when he opened the door for her. “Mama would tell me to thank you for always being a gentleman and opening the door for me and stuff.”
“Babe, I just asked you about nipple clamps. Definitely not a gentleman but don’t tell your mom that.”
“I like your gentlemanly and your not so gentlemanly sides.”
“Oh yeah?” He wrapped his arm around her and guided her in the back door.
“Definitely.”
“Hang on let me grab an apron.”
“Look at you two lovebirds. Sweeter than a pig in poop.” Eliza slapped her own thigh and then dragged Natalie in for a full force hug. “Does he kiss as good as he looks like he would? You know I always say Little Red Riding Hood shoulda up and gone after the big bad wolf. The bad boys always do very good things with their mouths.”
Aaron coughed to cover his gag. Natalie bit her lips to keep from guffawing. “Um, he does everything well, Eliza. I’m a lucky girl,” she finally managed.
“You sure are. Mm, mmm, mmm what I wouldn’t give to be twenty-five years younger.” She released Natalie and ran a long red fingernail down Aaron’s bicep as she passed by.
“You look completely horrified,” Natalie informed him as she followed him behind the bar.
“I am beyond horrified. In fact, I’m pretty sure I have a sexual harassment suit in the works.”
“That might be why Ed hates you so much.”
“I can’t win for losing.”
“She was right about all of the very bad, good things you do with your mouth.” Natalie waggled her eyebrows at him, loving the flicker of heat that lit in his eyes.
“Just wait, baby, I’ll show you all of the very good, bad things I can do with my mouth as soon as I get you home.”
“I’m hoping.”
Aaron tested a few of the taps and then lined up shot glasses and beer mugs. As much as she hated being in the bar, she loved watching him work. That was the reason she usually agreed to come along when her brothers and sisters wanted to spend the evening at Saddlebacks.
He popped a crick out of his neck and swung his arms back and forth, loosening up for the hours he’d be working. He winked at her as patrons made their way toward him. “What can I get you, Duke?” he offered Duke Kilroy Jr. a kind smile.
“Give me a shot of Crown. No, make it a double.” Duke slunk down on the stool beside Natalie.
“Rough day, man?” Aaron didn’t quite give him a double shot, Natalie noted.
“Mother-in-law’s in town.”
“Ah.”
Another round of giggles threatened to take Natalie over as Aaron added a little to Duke’s glass.
“She got into it with Cassie about starching my boxers and feeding the kids them dinosaur chicken nuggets. I swear sometimes that’s all they’ll eat and I don’t want my drawers starched. I came to my wife’s defense and then I got myself thrown out of my own house.” Duke downed what was left in his glass. “Give me another.”
“One more but then you’re eating something and I’m switching you to beer. Cassie’s gonna want to make up when you get home and you don’t want to disappoint.”
“You think?”
“Didn’t some kind of argument lead to all four of your kids, man?”
The tension bled from Duke’s face. He laughed. “Yeah, s’pose you’re right. Just switch me to beer now.”
As if he could read the man’s mind, Aaron handed him the beer he’d already poured. He’d never even picked the Crown bottle back up. Duke lifted his glass to Aaron and headed toward one of the checkers games going on.
“How did you know that about their kids?” Natalie leapt as soon as he was out of earshot.
“I’m the local bartender, sweetheart. People tell me stuff. Part of my job.”
“Do they ever tell you anything you wished they wouldn’t?”
“Sure, but I figure everyone needs someone to talk to. If I can be that for them, I’m okay with it.”
�
��Is that what Dec is for you? Is he who you talk to?”
Aaron studied her for a long moment before he answered. “I guess so.”
“Do you think I could ever be the person you could talk to?” She needed to know if there would ever be a time when she would be enough to help him deal with all of the things that had fragmented his soul. “It’s okay if I can’t be that. I just kind of wondered.”
She watched his long black eyelashes blink in consideration. “Kind of feel like that question is a two-way street, Nat. You ever think I’ll be someone you could talk to about what happened?”
“Should have guessed that’s what you’d say.” Disappointment crashed through her.
“That’s not really an answer.”
“You didn’t answer me either.”
“Fine. Yes, someday I’ll try to explain all of the complicated shit that’s in my past. It’s just not something I want to pollute our relationship with right now, okay?”
Well, that was something. Maybe they were getting somewhere.
“Give my girl something pink with an umbrella.” Wyatt Jenson slumped against the bar. “Hey, Nat, what’s up with you?”
“Hey, Wyatt. Not much. How’s the corn?”
“Taller than me but that ain’t saying much.” Wyatt laughed at his own expense. “How’s the cattle?”
“Fat and happy just how we like ’em. Who’s your new girl?”
“Wyatt finally talked Amy Scofield into going out with him a few weeks ago.” Aaron supplied Wyatt with Amy’s drink. “I take it things are still hot and heavy with the two of you.”
“Not near as hot and heavy as I hear you two are gettin’ on.” Wyatt elbowed Natalie.
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
“Nah, now Amy says he up and overpaid for a few things at the drugstore the other day. She got to digging and figured there was a pregnancy test missing from stock. That must be why he overpaid, right? When’s the happy day, Nat?”
Natalie’s mouth hung open. Her body vibrated like she’d been struck by lightning. Aaron was vehemently shaking his head but he knew something. She could tell. Flinging herself off the barstool, hot tears stung her eyes. Who the hell was he buying a pregnancy test for? Bile singed her tongue.
“Nat.” Until Aaron’s hand landed on her arm she wasn’t aware she’d been racing out the door. “Stop.”
“No. Who is she? I thought you said…”
“I love you. I said that and I meant it. Just come here.” Fury and rejection made her woozy. As she swayed, he was able to pull her behind the bar. He didn’t stop until they were back in the kitchens. “I didn’t buy that for me.”
“Obviously,” she snarled.
“Shit. Natalie come on. I bought it for Austin.”
“What? Do you actually expect me to believe that?”
“Yes, I do. I’ve never given you a reason not to trust me and Austin didn’t want people bugging Summer about the pregnancy yet. Did you know she had a miscarriage a few months ago?”
That settled her on her boots. Trying to force the images of her torching his truck from her mind, she had to admit he wasn’t lying to her. No one outside the family knew Summer had lost a baby back in May. Austin must have told him.
“I was in the drugstore getting the condoms. I ran into Austin and I helped him sneak out with the test. He gave me a twenty to leave on the counter. Call him and ask him. I am not lying to you.”
“Summer hasn’t ridden in two weeks.”
Aaron raised his eyebrows in expectation. Natalie squeezed her eyes shut wishing she could erase the last five minutes of her life. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”
“I forgive you. That had to be a shock to hear.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about Summer?”
“Babe, I kind of figured that was Austin and Summer’s story to tell.”
“Maybe, but all the stuff we aren’t telling each other is starting to get to me.”
“You want to talk, I’m right here.”
“Yeah, I know. But it’s just like you said, that street goes both ways.”
“I need to get back to the bar. You gonna be okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You sure about that or are you just saying that?”
“I’m really fine.”
He offered her his hand. She took it and let him lead her back to the bar. “Hey, how about this, I could tell you something I’ve never told anyone, not even Dec? That sound good?”
“Very good.”
Leaning on his elbows so they were face to face, he glanced right and left to make certain everyone else was busy. “I’d never tended a bar when I took this job. Not even once.”
“Are you serious? I can’t believe Ed hired you with no experience.” Natalie kept her voice to a whisper.
“Oh, I told him I had a ton of experience. I spent ten years in the army learning to blend in to any situation they put me in so I figured it out as I went. Spent the first three months Googling any drink that wasn’t a whiskey shot or a beer. I made do.”
“So, you just went all over the world pretending to be different people?”
“Kind of. It’s a little more complicated than that.”
A spike of nerves twisted in her stomach. “That must’ve been hard.”
“Not nearly as hard as I am standing here looking at you.” This time his flirting didn’t settle her. He’d spent so much time being other people. Who was he now?
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
“At what exact point do you throw them out?” Natalie’s fascination with his work made it infinitely more fun to tend bar that night.
Aaron refilled Ty Lorner’s beer while keeping an eye on the couple all but humping on the dance floor.
“Ed’ll let ’em stay as long as they’re paying to drink. Eliza usually cheers them on. I tend to tell them to find a room if any skin that should be under clothing is revealed to the bar at large.” The couple was rapidly approaching Aaron’s line.
Natalie was laughing and gazing up at him like he was a fucking superhero.
“What did I do to earn a look like that? Whatever it was I sure as hell want to do it again.”
“I was just thinking about you helping Austin and about how even if you did have to pretend you were all those different people that it was such a brave thing to do. Kind of made me worry at first but I’m over it.”
“Why’d it make you worry, baby?”
She shrugged and shook that necklace back and forth yet again. He caught her hand. “Tell me.”
“I guess I kind of worried about who you were being with me.”
“Nat.” He swore she killed him with her honesty. Honesty was never a good idea in foster care and never allowed in Army Intelligence. There was a time when he’d wondered if he would even be able to recognize the truth when it stared him in the face. Then he’d met her. “You want to know what just one of the most incredible things about making love with you last night was?” Unable to keep his hands from her, he traced the soft angles of her face. She nodded. “It was the first time in a lifetime when I felt like me. The first time I understood who I used to be and who I wanted to be for you. I wish I could explain it better. It was incredible.”
“You keep making me fall more and more in love with you.” Her tender vow mended another portion of his tattered heart.
“I plan to keep doing that if it’s okay with you.”
“It’s definitely okay with me.”
Ripping them from the moment of precious intimacy two of Amy Scofield’s girlfriends burst through the door, hooting with laughter. Aaron cringed. Natalie rolled her eyes.
“Great. The entire Pleasant Glen gossip column just arrived,” she said through her teeth.
“Maybe they’ll order wine. At least that’ll settle them down.”
Amy beelined over to them. “Did you all hear about the library getting broken into?”
Aaron grabb
ed a bar cloth and edged closer.
Natalie’s brow furrowed. “The library was broken into?” She joined their conversation. The ladies didn’t look any too thrilled with her interjection.
“That’s what she just said,” Tilda Herker huffed.
“Does Hope know?”
“Well, I’m sure she does since the sheriff was up there talking to her all morning.”
“She didn’t say anything to me about it.”
“Do all of you Camdens walk around your big-ass ranch telling each other every little thing, Natalie?”
“Do all of you Herkers have the corncobs shoved up your ass professionally installed or is it a do-it-yourself project like your boob job, Tilda?” Natalie thrust her finger at the wad of tissue emerging from the top of Tilda’s blouse.
Aaron choked back hysterical laughter as they shared a conspiratorial grin. Shoving her homemade padding back in its proper location, Tilda followed after Amy and Heidi Conlin like hens heading to the house.
“She is such a bitch,” Natalie fumed.
“I love you.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Well, that’s because I do.” He wondered how much of the library incident she would focus on.
“Did you hear that about the library?”
Weighing his options very carefully, Aaron knew if his conscience had any chance of survival he had to tell as much of the truth as he was able. “Yeah, I went up there this morning when I went to get my dogs. I was with Brock in the barn when Hope called him. It was right after you left with Holly.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Once I’m with you I can’t think of anything but you.” That was the truth with a twist, he decided.
“Was anything taken?”
“Didn’t look like it. Brock thinks it was probably some kids, some kind of football prank or something.”
“That’s strange though. Nothing ever happens here.”
“I got the impression Sheriff Wilheim is sick of people reminding him of that.”
“It’s true though. Why would anyone break into the library? Do people actually steal books?”
“People steal e-books all the time. I doubt they steal books from libraries too often though. Didn’t sound like they have any idea who did it.” A fact Aaron was supremely thankful for. “You want something to drink?”
