Tears fall down her face with my words. “You know caring about someone isn’t a weakness?”
“To my father it is.”
“Doesn’t he care about your mother? About you?”
“No. He cares about our planets, about our people, and about acquiring new planets that we can take resources from and further our own technology. Earth is the discovery of a lifetime. There is so much to learn from you, we’ll probably never stop finding something new.”
She blanches at my words.
“I’m tired. Do you think we could rest for a little while?” she asks, changing the subject.
“I can carry him if you’d like?” I offer.
“I haven’t slept much in a long time, since before I left you really. Can we just lie down for a little while?”
“Of course,” I agree, finding an open, grassy area for her and Logan to lie on.
I watch them settle down and sit at Mattie’s feet, leaning against a tree and watching them.
“Aren’t you going to rest, too?”
“I’m afraid that, if I sleep, I’ll wake up and you will be gone again,” I admit, a panic slowly simmering inside me at the thought of sleeping.
“I’m sorry for that, Marduke. It was wrong of me. I regretted leaving you. We were going to go back to find you; when we woke up, that was our plan.”
I feel touched that they planned on looking for me. When I woke up to find Mattie and Logan gone, I never felt angry or hurt. I just worried that they wouldn’t be safe. I knew Ival was looking for them and hated thinking about what would happen to them if he found them first.
“Look, how about you hold Logan? I’d never leave him behind,” she offers, looking down at Logan who is still wrapped around her while he sleeps. Watching as she begins to pull him away from her, I know it’s the wrong thing for her to do.
“When I left him in the forest after Ival found you, he wouldn’t let me leave. Nothing I said made him stop grabbing onto me except when I told him that, if he didn’t stay where I left him, he’d never see you again. I knew I didn’t have time to talk to him properly. I knew you were in trouble when you didn’t catch up to us. So I scared him into doing as he was told.”
“Poor fella.” Mattie rubs her hand through his hair, lightly kissing the top of his head.
“I didn’t mean to upset him, but I think he needs to be in your arms. He needs to wake up and find you there to reassure himself that you’re okay.”
There are no flames to light us any longer, however we’re close enough to the edge of the forest that the stars and the moon allow me to see her face. Tears silently run down her face and I know she’s holding Logan even tighter to her.
“I have no idea how to take care of a kid. Hannah was only two years younger than me, and we had no younger cousins or little neighbours to babysit. I’ve never spent any time around kids, let alone how much we’ve been with Logan. I don’t know what we’re meant to do with him, but I love him so much. I feel like he’s mine, he’s ours, and even though that scares the shit out of me, it also makes me want to do everything we can to make sure he’s okay.”
“I thought you said love didn’t work like that? You’ve known Logan for not as long as you’ve known me.” I’m confused now.
“You can love someone instantly, but being in love with them is different.”
“So I could love you without being in love with you?”
“Sure, I guess.”
“So how much time has to pass before you’re in love with someone?”
“There isn’t an exact time. You just suddenly realise you are in love with them. You acknowledge their faults and love them anyway. You know them inside and out, and you wouldn’t change a thing.”
“I’d never change a thing about you, Mattie; you’re perfect,” I tell her honestly.
“I’m not perfect, which proves that you haven’t accepted my faults because you don’t see them.”
“What happens if a person doesn’t have faults?”
“Everyone has faults.”
“What are mine?”
“You’re an alien, which is a pretty huge one. You’re too passive, clearly since you let your family walk all over you. You’re obviously obsessive because you just admitted you stalked me every day for a long time, and you’re too trusting. I’m a human, and you’ve opened yourself up to me anyway. I could have easily killed you, especially when you told me the truth. I had a fucking gun in my hand, Marduke!”
“You didn’t even take a moment to think of them…” I say, feeling dismayed at how easily she is able to find fault with me.
“I’m sorry. I should have said that nicer. I’m tired, Marduke, just ignore me.”
I nod, looking out through the stray trees and into the open fields by us. There is no one about, and hopefully, there won’t be anyone for a long while. We could both use the break.
“How about Logan stays in my arms, and you can hold us both. I think I’d like to use your arm as a pillow. This ground is not cutting it.” She smiles hopefully at me, and then I slowly crawl over to her, the promise of being able to hold her making me move.
She nods her head for me to lie down, and I do, watching her carefully.
“Hold your arm out,” she directs then she lies down next to me on her side. Her back is entirely against me as she rests her head on my arm, her arms still wrapped around Logan. I roll to my side and bring my spare arm around her, letting my hand hold Logan, too. My front is now against her back, and I can’t help thinking this feels right. It feels good, and even though I know the right thing to do is get them both to Oden where Mattie can be reunited with her friends—and hopefully, her family—I can’t bear the thought of giving her up. I want to be able to be this close to her always. I don’t think I’m strong enough to give her up.
In this moment, I couldn’t ever imagine a situation happening where I’d change my mind. Unfortunately, that situation is coming straight for us. This time with Mattie and Logan in my arms is never going to last.
Everything is about to change for us, and not for the better.
Chapter 20
Mattie
I wake up in Marduke’s arms, Logan wrapped in my own arms, making me feel safe and warm. The sun is up and bright, totally uncaring about the loss we all have just suffered yesterday. The day should be gloomy and cold, and there should be dark clouds in the sky to reflect our loss. Yet, then we’ll be cold, possibly rained on, and sickness would be a new problem we don’t have time or any resources to face. So, I suppose I’ll take the sunny day and clear skies.
I shift, trying to turn onto my back since I have a dead arm from Logan squashing it. I can only imagine Marduke’s arm, which I’ve used as a pillow all night.
When I make it onto my back, Marduke loosens his hold to allow us to move. I first look up at his face and discover he has a few new scratches to go with the small unhealed cuts from the glass I removed earlier. He looks peaceful in his sleep, and unfortunately, still incredibly attractive. I shouldn’t still be attracted to him after finding out who he really is, right?
His dark skin is made even darker from the dirt that is sticking to him. I’m sure I look similarly dirty, too. His clothing is ripped, and I notice a few holes along his shirt, but then I see dried blood over his arm.
“Marduke!” I gasp, sitting up and waking him from my sudden movement. Logan still slumbers in my arms.
As I stare closer at the wound, I realise there is actually a substantial amount of blood over his arm, spilling from a wound on his shoulder. I settle Logan next to me so I can properly assess Marduke’s injury.
“What?” he grumbles, muttering something else that I swear isn’t English or any language that is spoken here. No, it sounds like the language Marduke and his brother used last night. It’s a reminder that Marduke is so different to me and that I really should be cautious of him; I should keep my distance and discourage whatever feelings I’ve deluded myself into thinking I have for
him. Except, seeing him hurt overrides what I should do.
I take hold of his arm gently, moving the ruined sleeve of his t-shirt up to find an ugly hole right in the middle of his shoulder.
A bullet wound.
“You’ve been shot!” I panic, not sure what I’m supposed to do to help him.
Marduke sits up, glancing down at his arm. He shakes out his uninjured arm, most likely long dead since I’ve slept on it, and then reaches out and touches the wound.
“Does it hurt?”
“It’s a little sore.” He winces when his fingers make contact.
“Why didn’t you say something last night?”
“I didn’t even realise I’d been hurt. It felt fine yesterday.”
“You must have been in shock. We need to get moving; we have to find medical supplies.” I try to stand, but he reaches out and grabs hold of me lightly.
“I’ll be fine, Mattie,” he tries to assure me.
“No, you won’t.” I think I might be about to hyperventilate. “There isn’t an exit wound in that, which means you’ve still got the bullet in there. I need to take it out. If we don’t treat it, then you’ll probably get an infection and die, or at the very least, I’ll have to chop your arm off, and then what the hell do I do? If I can’t even handle a bullet wound, how the hell can you survive losing your arm? But if we don’t remove it, then it’ll spread through your body and you’ll die and—”
“Stop!” Marduke shakes me. I realise I’ve just lost myself in a panic, speaking so quickly and without a breath that I hope he couldn’t understand what I was saying. Who wants to hear they might have to get their arm chopped off? Oh, shit, what if I actually have to do something like that?
“Mattie, stop.” Marduke takes hold of my hand that is still resting over his arm, squeezing it hard enough to halt my thoughts from consuming me. “I’m going to be okay. We’ll find a first aid kit or whatever we can manage, we’ll top up our supplies, and then we’ll find a safe place to stay for a while.”
I nod, a lump forming in my throat preventing me from saying anything else.
Marduke has managed to grab a bag from last night when he took Logan, and he goes through what food and water we have.
I’ve luckily filled up both bottles from the water tank and left them back in the bag, so we have two full water bottles and enough canned food to last us one day. We also have a pile of bullets at the bottom of the bag, and after the explosion, Marduke must have placed the handgun in here, too.
I rip Logan’s pink shirt that I doubt he’ll ever want to wear and strap it around Marduke’s arm. He’s still bleeding, so I hope this is enough to stem it.
I try to coax Logan into eating some food, but he won’t eat a thing. He still hasn’t said a word to either of us, and I’m lucky to manage to get him to take some water. I don’t know what I’m meant to do with him, but with the biggest worry at the moment being Marduke’s arm, I leave this new development to deal with later.
Logan doesn’t even attempt to try to walk today, so I carry him along the outskirts of the forest. Marduke offers to help, however I glance pointedly at his bullet wound and tell him no. He’s not limping much anymore, so I’m glad to see that he is improving a little in that respect, at least.
I don’t know how to wrap my mind around everything we’ve talked about yesterday. Not only is Marduke really from another planet, but his family is the reason that Earth has been invaded. Even if I can get past all of that, how the hell do I deal with the fact that there are aliens in the universe that look like us? What if there are more that were here, and we didn’t even know it? What if they’ve been on Earth all along, just biding their time to attack us, waiting for the perfect moment to take us down?
Maybe what is really causing my head to hurt is what Marduke has said about how he feels about me last night. He basically admitted that he loves me, even if he is slightly delusional. I panicked, realising how much I care about him also.
He’s an alien who came here to invade us. He’s not human, so it can’t be right the way I feel. I should hate him. I should probably want him dead. No human would ever understand how I’m feeling or would agree with it. I’d probably be considered a traitor to my own kind.
How can I have feelings for not only an alien, but one who has just invaded Earth? His family planned this attack, they’re responsible for countless deaths, maybe even the deaths of my family and friends back home, how the hell can I feel anything for him that isn’t hate and contempt?
What is wrong with me?
“Up ahead, there are houses by that road.” Marduke points towards a small grouping of cabins that have just come into our view, and I leave my confused thoughts behind. Nothing good will come of them.
With a new goal in sight, I focus only on placing each foot in front of the other. Logan hasn’t said a peep, and he’s slowly growing heavier in my arms. Or maybe I’m just growing weaker.
There is no sign of spaceships or machines around us, but we still are careful and keep ourselves under the cover of the trees surrounding us.
I think about Lisa, Hank and the girls. A small, nagging fear whispers in my mind that perhaps Marduke had been lying to me. Not to hurt me, but to protect me. Maybe that light didn’t take them away, maybe it incinerated them, and they’re actually dead and he’s thought it kinder to tell me that they’re still alive. What if no one is going to the place Marduke calls Oden? What if all this is about is mass-murder?
“There is a car over there.” Marduke nods his head at the car sitting tucked away between two of the cabins. It’s a faded, green SUV that has a large dent in the bumper and a headlight has been smashed. I wonder if it’ll even work. Not that it matters, really. If we’re heading into the forest, we won’t need a working vehicle.
It’s past lunchtime when we break into the first cabin where we find plenty of food, six bottles of water, and this time, we take some camping supplies. Marduke grabs sleeping bags, blankets and warmer clothes while I find a fishing rod and portable stove.
We pile our find by the front door and take off for the next one. Other than some band-aids, antidepressant drugs and aspirin, there is nothing for Marduke to take for his shoulder.
There are six cabins all along here, each having more supplies for us to steal. They’re all very modern and set up like a real house inside, connected to a wide set of solar panels, so when I turn the light on, it actually works. I haven’t seen electricity in a long time and it’s probably the first time in my life that I’ve gotten excited about turning a light on.
That same house has gas that works, and two large water tanks outside that are full. They’re both connected to the cabin, and so we get taps that work and a toilet that flushes. If I was writing a review for this accommodation, I’d award it five stars just based on the beautiful noise of the flushing toilet.
The place next door to where we currently are has a room set up for a child, maybe a seven or eight-year-old, but I find some clothes that’ll fit Logan. Then I fill the bathtub up with warm water.
Hoping a bath and clean body might cheer Logan up, I leave Marduke to use the sink in the kitchen to wash his wound, telling him I’ll help him afterwards, before I strip Logan out of his clothes.
His gaze is far away, and I can’t get him to focus his attention. Although he is mostly uninjured except for a couple of bruises and small scratches, I see the water browning up immediately from all the dirt on him. His hair is the worst. I wash it three times just to get it back to the blonde colour.
I sing him a song my mum used to sing to me when I had a bath when I was little. It’s about mermaids, fish, and at the end, she’d dunk the yellow duck that used to float in the water then let go of it so it would shoot up into the air before landing on top of the water again. I would always laugh at that, never knowing how she made it fly. Regrettably, I don’t have any toys in here for Logan, so the song doesn’t have quite the highpoint that Mum managed with me.
I k
eep talking to him, filling in the silence with my babble. I move on from the song, which I sing twice, and tell him a story. I make it up, not knowing any stories from children’s books, and I lose myself in the middle and rush to the end to give it a happy ending. I definitely did the right thing by not taking creative writing in college.
After I get him out of the water, I dry him off and dress him into his new clothes. I only manage to towel dry his hair, but when I’m finished with him, he does glance down at himself. He doesn’t speak, but he seems to notice that he’s now clean. That has to be an improvement.
When I head back out to Marduke, I see him wincing as he washes his arm. Unfortunately, I know that isn’t going to cut it.
I get Logan some fruit, finally able to get him eating, and then settle him into a spare bedroom. I’m not sure if we should stay here, but he might as well sleep in a bed while he can.
When I leave Logan and his room, my eyes immediately stare at the table where I have what supplies I could find. There is a bottle of vodka, a regular, small, metal sewing needle, a ball of fishing thread that I’ve found with the fishing gear, scissors and tweezers.
This is going to suck so badly.
“Okay, you ready for this?” I ask him, my voice shaking with my nerves.
“Should we eat something first? I’m hungry.” He looks at the pile of food I’ve already placed in the bag by the door, ready for us to grab if we need to make a quick escape.
“I think this might be better done on an empty stomach.” Already, I feel queasy.
“Okay, what do you want me to do?”
“Take your shirt off and take a large gulp of this.” I pull the chair to the side, tapping it to show he should sit, and then hand him the bottle of vodka.
He takes his shirt off, wincing when the material drags over his shoulder. Then he takes the bottle and glances down at it.
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