"It doesn't matter," Corinne said. "Whatever we do is only an excuse."
"An excuse?" Michele echoed.
"Hmm," Corinne murmured. "So long as we must be alive, we must do something to pass the hours."
Michele heard the sadness in the woman's voice and she wanted to reach out and comfort her. "You don't sound very happy," she said.
"Corinne has never known what it means to be happy," Toni said quietly.
Michele could not tell whether the tone was ironic or sincere. She glanced quickly at Corinne, feeling a little as though she were watching a sparring match.
Corinne glanced at Toni as though she would have liked to slap her. Then she turned to Michele and smiled. "We are not making it very pleasant for you," she said. "Toni, put on some music and let us stop being morbid with Michele. She is too young for such soulfulness."
"Toni's younger than I am," Michele blurted, feeling somehow insulted that the woman considered her a child.
Toni snorted bitterly.
"Toni has never been young," Corinne said. "She has the most beautiful head of them all and I keep her here just so that I might look at her. But she has never been young."
Michele glanced at the dark haired girl as she went to a wall cabinet and set a stack of records on the machine. The long, lean body, the smooth muscles hard in the thighs, the straight back and strong hands. Surely the girl could not be more than twenty. Yet Michele sensed about her something of the same tragic essence that characterized Corinne.
The first soft strains of a waltz floated on the troubled air.
Corinne turned to Toni and held out her hand. "Dance with me," she said. It sounded like a command.
Toni peered down at Corinne for several moments before she moved to take the woman into her arms. "You like me tonight," Michele heard her say.
"I always like you when I am not bored."
Michele watched them move off across the floor, blending in motion as though they had danced this way many times before. The more she saw of them together, the more uncomfortable Michele began to feel. Corinne used her body seductively, charming the girl in whose arms she was held. Yet Michele knew somehow that the performance was being conducted for herself alone. And she felt that Toni must sense this too.
She picked up her discarded drink and sipped at it thoughtfully. If she had any sense, she would get up right now and go home to Leda. Whatever this strange relationship she was observing might mean, it had nothing to do with her and she wanted no part of it. Yet she couldn't at all blame Corinne for keeping Toni around. She was indeed good to look at. And Michele knew without experimenting that the girl would be fun in bed. Everything about the way the girl used her body indicated that.
When the dance ended, Corinne stepped away from Toni and came over to Michele's chair. "You dance with her now," she said. "I like to watch."
Michele rose instantly to obey the woman's command. She let Toni take her in her arms and steer her across the floor. The dance was a slow one. And intimate. Toni held her tight, her long arms going about Michele and gripping her in close. Michele felt her breasts flatten against Toni's chest, her thighs moving in rhythm with Toni's. The girl's hand circled on her back.
Michele felt hot flushes of excitement race through her. She knew that she must be blushing. Yet she did not want to struggle out of Toni's embrace and call attention to herself. Better to be nonchalant, she decided.
Still, she could not deny that contact with the girl's body had brought her own painfully alive. By the time the dance ended and Toni set her free, Michele felt completely aroused.
She felt Corinne's hand on her arm. "Toni's a marvelous dancer, isn't she?"
"Yes," Michele breathed, almost afraid to trust her own voice. "She certainly is."
"It is my turn now," Corinne said.
Michele's cheeks went pale. Hot and cold prickles chased each other along her spine. "All right," she said. She held out her arms, just as Toni had done, and Corinne moved into them willingly.
Michele rested her cheek against the woman's hair. She had never danced with any woman except Toni in her life. Not even with Leda. And holding Corinne now, she knew that she could go on like this forever. The heady odor of Corinne's perfume reached her nostrils. She felt lightheaded and giddy, yet strong and aggressive, the way Leda had wanted her to be. She liked the way Corinne fit against her body, the way the woman's fingers trailed along her back.
She felt Corinne lean away from her and watched the woman turn to wave to Toni.
"Sleep tight," Corinne called.
"Never fear," Toni said.
The girl went off to the bedroom at the far end of the apartment and closed the door.
Corinne moved back into her arms and now Michele knew that the woman was deliberately seducing her. She felt Corinne turn on the charm, unloosen all her feminine wiles. For one instant Michele hesitated, sickened by the feeling that she was being a pawn in a little game that Corinne played with Toni.
Then she closed her eyes and let herself be drawn into the magic circle of Corinne's charm.
Corinne rested her head on Michele's shoulder. "You could make me very happy, Michele," she whispered.
Michele heard the plea in the woman's words. They said to her all the things she had prayed to hear from Leda. Her arms tightened around the woman and she let Corinne dance her to the couch.
Michele felt the backs of her knees touch the edge of the foam rubber mattress.
"Kiss me," Corinne sighed.
Michele opened her eyes and peered down at the woman. She wanted to tell her about Leda, about the girl she loved. She wanted to shout, "I can't. I love someone else."
But she brought her mouth down to Corinne's and touched the woman's lips gently with her own.
She felt Corinne's arms go around her neck and pull her head down harder. She let herself go. Her tongue darted eagerly between the woman's lips.
She felt herself being pushed back to the couch and she did not resist. She pulled Corinne down on top of her. The woman pressed herself hard against Michele.
"Make love to me," Corinne whispered. "Please, Michele."
Michele knew that the woman wanted her to be aggressive. Slowly she slid her hand in under the billowing folds of material, seeking the soft breasts.
Corinne moaned softly as Michele touched her. Michele felt her head begin to spin with an urgency and a need that she had never known before. She rolled over and pushed the woman down to the couch. Her fingers struggled eagerly with Corinne's gown.
And then she was all over the woman, caressing her with hands and lips and legs. She let her tongue trail down over the soft flesh of the woman's belly.
"Oh, yes," Corinne sighed. "Oh, yes, Michele." Michele approached the woman with all the skill she could muster. And yet she was afraid. For she had never known any woman except Leda. Surely Corinne had had many lovers. And suddenly it was very important to Michele to be better than any of them had been. Ever. Her lips moved gently, tenderly, searching, searching... She felt the woman's thighs quiver and she was blind suddenly and deaf to everything but the sound of the woman whispering her name. Crooning.
And then Corinne's hands were on her head, pulling her up, holding her close. She shut her eyes and kissed the woman a long kiss, full on the mouth.
She leaned away from the woman and looked at her closely for a long time.
"Are you happy?" she said finally.
"Yes," Corinne smiled. "I am happy, Michele."
CHAPTER 11
It was nearly noon when Michele got back to the First Street apartment.
She climbed the stairs slowly, not at all eager to face Leda after the night she had spent with Corinne. A night of love, of giving and sharing in the most satisfying experience she had ever known with anyone. Still, Corinne had not asked her to stay. She had pleaded that she had to work, that she worked every day, and that she would get nothing done if Michele remained. And Michele had not pressed the issue, but had lef
t with the promise to return in the evening.
And she knew that she wanted to return. She did not love Corinne as she loved Leda. She realized she never would. Still, the hours she had spent with the woman had been happy ones for both of them. And she wanted more of the same.
As she unlocked the door and stepped into the quiet apartment, she whistled for Boris and the dog came bounding out to meet her. She knelt just inside the door and wrapped her arms around the dog's furry body.
"Where's Leda?" she whispered against Boris's ear.
"Michele, is that you?" Leda's voice called.
Michele gave the dog a final pat and stood up. She took a deep breath and steadied herself for the ordeal of facing the girl. Then she stepped into the bedroom.
"Well, I wasn't expecting you for at least a week," Leda said with amusement. "Were you disappointed, darling?"
Michele flushed but did not answer the girl's question. Instead she said, "It's a nice day. You ought to get up and go out for a walk."
"Never mind what I ought to do," Leda said sharply. Then her eyes softened once again. "I'm sorry, honey," she murmured, "but I'm not in the best of spirits this morning."
"Yeah, I know," Michele said. "I don't feel so good either." She knew she wanted desperately for the girl to apologize for her behavior, take the blame for the whole thing on herself. Still, she knew that it was she who must suffer for her own doings. She could not make it any easier for herself by taking it out on the girl.
"How's Toni?" Leda asked suddenly.
"What?" Michele said, startled. She had heard what Leda had to say about Corinne. But how could the girl know about Toni?
"Oh, yes," Leda said. "I know Toni. Who doesn't? She's been pimping for Corinne for years."
Michele wanted to slap the complacent smile right off Leda's face. "What the hell do you mean by that?" she snapped.
"Never mind," Leda said. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."
"Well, all right. But I don't feel like talking about Corinne," she said with annoyance. "It's you I have problems with, not Corinne and Toni."
"No doubt," Leda breathed.
Michele sat down on the edge of the bed, trying hard to keep a rein on her temper. She realized that it was only her own guilt that kept her on edge and ready to leap at Leda's throat. Still she found it difficult to restrain herself.
"Look," she said evenly, "you know as well as I do that I don't give a damn about Corinne. The only reason I went to her last night was..."
She paused and stared at Leda blankly. "Was what, Michele?"
Now that she was faced with it, Michele found herself hard pressed for an answer. "Well, when I found out that you had had an affair with that girl, Anne..." She stretched her fingers in a helpless gesture.
"Michele, I told you before, that was a very long time ago. I haven't slept with anyone but you since that day I met you. And God knows it took you long enough to get the idea," she said angrily. "Why the hell I waited, I don't know. I really don't know what you want from me, Michele."
"I didn't want anything from you but love, Leda. You must believe that. But how can I think you love me..."
"Just because I happen to speak to someone I once went to bed with?" Leda said impatiently. "Oh, Michele, be reasonable. Until I met you, I never really loved anyone in my life. I've slept with lots of people by now. But so have you. You told me yourself about all the men you'd been to bed with."
"That's different," Michele said quickly. "Oh, is it, now?" Leda said sharply. "And what the hell makes it different, I'd like to know?"
Michele felt her tongue go dry and stiff. What, after all, was the difference? Surely she couldn't expect that Leda would have sat in a corner and waited for twenty-five years of her life until she came on the scene. "They weren't girls," she said limply.
"I can't help what you wasted your time with," Leda said, her tone lighter now. "I was about twelve when I decided little boys were made of snakes and snails. I never have had much to do with men, Michele. But I can't see what it matters now. The only thing that should matter is what we have between us."
Michele stood up and took a step away from the bed. "I'd better take Boris out for a walk," she said.
"You sit right down here and talk to me," Leda insisted. "You can't make love to a girl one minute and then turn your back and walk off, you know."
Sighing, Michele forced herself to turn around and look directly at Leda. "I have nothing to say," she insisted. "If you can't see things the same way that I do, then there's not much use in our going on."
Leda sat up suddenly and took hold of Michele's wrist. "Michele, do you love me?"
"You know I do," Michele murmured.
“Then we can work out something. You know we can."
Michele let herself be pulled down onto the bed. She waited for Leda to go on.
"Now," Leda said, "why don't you kiss me?" Startled, Michele peered at her intently for a moment, trying to determine what the girl might be trying to do to her. But she could see nothing in Leda's face but love. And trust.
She took the girl's face between her hands. "Oh, honey," she whispered, "what have I done to us?"
"I don't know," Leda said. "What have you done, Michele?"
Michele hesitated for a long moment. Then she sighed. "I went to bed with Corinne last night," she said dismally.
"Did you at least enjoy it?”
Michele flushed.
Leda laughed. "It's all right, baby. Everyone goes for Corinne's brand of charm. That continental, older woman approach gets all of us sooner or later." She laughed again. "Besides, Toni's so damned good looking."
"Why do you keep talking about Toni?" Michele demanded, beginning to feel a niggle of jealously at Leda's continued reference to the girl.
"Oh, Michele, don't you get the picture? Don't you know that Corinne uses Toni to pull in all the pretty children she lays eyes on? She would never have the nerve to approach anyone herself. And there's Toni, like a trained parakeet, talking for Corinne. Making love for Corinne. Dancing for Corinne. It's all so sick, honey. Corinne has never loved anyone but Toni. And yet she has a new lover every couple of weeks."
"But why?"
Leda shook her head. "Who the devil knows?" she said. "It's just their way of life."
Michele sat up away from the girl. She understood very little of what Leda had said. Yet, from her own observations, she had to admit that the girl seemed to be right.
Still, Corinne had responded to her with a wildness that made Michele's ears burn just thinking about it. That much she knew to be true. As for the rest of what Leda had said, she would reserve judgment until she found out more for herself.
"Will you be seeing Corinne again?" Leda interrupted her thoughts.
"I promised her I'd be back tonight," Michele said miserably. "I don't want to. Now."
"You don't have to, you know," Leda said. "You're old enough to make up your own mind." She laughed and her lips curled into a bow. "Butch."
Michele felt as though Leda had knocked all the wind out of her. Yet her sarcasm was well justified. After all, it had been Michele's raging desire to be the boss in the family that had led her into Corinne's arms. If she had stayed home where she belonged...
Suddenly her arms went around the girl and she pushed her back to the pillows. "Damn you," she whispered. "Why couldn't you love me..."
"But I do, darling. I really do." Leda pulled Michele's head down to meet her own. "I'll show you."
As their lips met, Michele felt her brain whirling like a propeller inside her head. The palms of her hands went slimy with perspiration. She grabbed the girl and squeezed her as though she wanted to love her to death. She rolled over on top of the girl's naked body and ground herself into the length of her.
"Oh, baby," Leda whispered. "Touch me. Please touch me.”
Michele helped Leda undress her. Everywhere Leda touched her, her skin felt on fire. She could hardly breathe around the aching in her chest. "I love yo
u," she murmured.
Suddenly Leda wrapped her arms around Michele and pulled her down next to her on the bed. "Take me, honey," she whispered. "Please take me."
Michele didn't have to be urged. She buried her face against Leda, caressing her soft flesh with her tongue. The world spun away from her and she was caught up in the beauty of the moment, the girl.
She felt the girl's thighs quiver, then tighten in a spasm of ecstasy. And at the same time Michele felt her own body respond to the passion of the moment.
They lay together side by side, depleted, yet completely engrossed in each other and their love.
Michele listened to the clock ticking on the table near the bed, to the gurgling of water in the john. Everything seemed so normal here, so natural and right. How could she even for a moment have allowed herself to be led into an affair with Corinne? Even if all the things Leda had said about the two women weren't true, she'd had no business to get involved elsewhere. For she knew now that she had never really belonged to anyone but Leda.
She never would.
She moved finally and sat up. She turned to look down at the girl.
"Hi," Leda said. "You know, I think I'll keep you around for a while."
Jealous And The Free, The Page 8
