Jane’s beautiful face broke with an apologetic smile, her eyes ever so slightly lowered. Matthew fought shaking his head as pride filled his chest. He didn’t know a man on the planet who could resist that expression. It had defused many an irate evening of debate among the villagers, as well as calming her father, the rather domineering Noel Danes. He admired her use of feminine wiles if the situation dictated it . . . even though if she ever deemed to turn the tactic on him, he strongly suspected he’d be putty in her hands.
She delicately coughed. “Someone told me of that particular house, and as I am so eager to work with children, I went there assuming the lady or gentleman running the establishment would be able to make the decision of whether or not to offer me a position. It wasn’t until later that I came to understand that such power lies in the Board’s hands.”
“I see.” Howard cast a glance toward the two gentlemen across the office.
Matthew followed his stare and caught one of the gentlemen curtly shake his head; the other appeared to be doing his upmost not to laugh out loud. Matthew glared. There was little chance this trio of upstarts would take Jane’s passion to work seriously.
He turned to Howard. “So, you now know of Miss Danes’s interest. You have heard she has already visited the house where she would like to work and spoken with the matron. I presume you are in need of all the help possible, considering the number of children living hand to mouth on Bath’s streets.”
Howard bristled and pushed to his feet. He came around the desk and paced beside Jane. “Tell me, Miss Danes, what did you say to Mrs. Cage exactly?”
“I told her I had come there to work.”
“And her response?”
Jane glanced at Matthew. He held her worried gaze for a moment before nodding his encouragement. “Tell him.”
She inhaled, her breasts rising as the worry in her eyes evolved into determination. A determination he hoped was helped by his belief in and support of her. She faced Howard, her chin high. “She sent me away. Told me she didn’t need my help.”
The Guardian’s eyes lit with triumph, and he puffed out his chest. “As I thought. Mrs. Cage, like most of the house matrons, is very particular about how she runs her establishment. These women are hardworking. Mothers themselves, more often than not. They do not need a woman such as yourself coming—”
“Such as myself, Mr. Howard? And what am I exactly?” Jane pulled back her shoulders.
“Well, you’re . . .” He snapped his gaze to Matthew.
Matthew raised his eyebrows. “Yes?”
Howard looked back to Jane and, seeming to gather courage, blurted, “You’re a fine-looking lady who would not fit well within one of our houses, Miss Danes. The children are often malnourished, some with fleas and other such nastiness. I would not sleep at night knowing it was on my say-so that you were exposed to that day after day.”
“Then let the say-so be mine.” Jane shifted forward in her seat, her posture almost pleading. “Mr. Howard . . .” She glanced at the other gentlemen in turn. “Sirs . . . please. With all my heart, I truly wish to work with these children. Yes, I have grown up with money and comfort, but that does not mean I have been privileged. I know suffering. I know how it feels to have no arms to comfort you or never to hear soothing words that ease your worries and fears.” She turned to Matthew, her eyes bright with fervor. “I know how it feels to live in a house as big as a castle but as empty, cold, and lonely as it would be to live in a shack.” She faced Howard. “Let me go to that house, Mr. Howard. Tell Mrs. Cage you want me there, and I promise I will win her over, the children too.”
Discomfort knotted Matthew’s stomach. The vehemence in her words drilled through his flesh and bone to squirm like snakes deep in his heart. What suffering did she speak of? What hurt and loneliness? God, he had been a blind fool. First Monica had fled Marksville, and now Jane. Hadn’t the sisters grown up with any sense of happiness and love?
“I will think about it, Miss Danes.” Howard’s voice broke the momentary silence. “I will discuss it with my colleagues and speak with you again.”
Jane stood and held out her hand. Matthew clenched his jaw to see her shoulders ever so slightly trembling. For all her bravado, she clearly felt nowhere near as confident in herself as she strove to appear. “Thank you, Mr. Howard.” She turned to the other gentlemen again. “I thank all of you. When should I return for your answer?”
Howard glanced at his colleagues. “Two days, Miss Danes. We will need two days to consider what you are proposing and to speak with Mrs. Cage also. Come back on Thursday and I will have an answer for you.”
“Thank you.”
Matthew stood and cupped his hand to Jane’s elbow. “We’ll find our way out. Anything you need from me to aid Miss Danes’s chances, you only need to ask. I hope you don’t think my help necessary, considering Miss Danes’s enthusiasm, but if I am wrong, you only need write to me in Biddestone.”
Howard nodded. “Understood, sir.”
With a parting glance around the office, Matthew steered Jane toward the door.
Once out on the street with the Board’s office several yards behind them, Jane stopped and grasped his forearm, her eyes clouded with concern. “Well? Do you think they will give me a chance?”
Matthew frowned. “Jane, what you said about knowing suffering. What did you—”
“Nothing.” She huffed out a laugh and looked along the street. “I said that in the hope Mr. Howard would see I am not beyond his imagining to work at the boardinghouse.” She faced him. “There is nothing else we can do but wait. Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Just for being there.”
She tugged on his arm, and Matthew walked forward, wondering how she would feel about him delaying his return to Biddestone until Thursday.
Chapter 14
When they reached her house, Jane pulled her key from her reticule and turned to Matthew, choosing to ignore the concern that continued to cloud his eyes.
She forced a smile. “Thank you again for accompanying me to the Board. I will write to you as soon as I know of their decision.”
“There will be no need to write. I’ll be staying in the city until the weekend. I plan to travel back to Biddestone first thing on Saturday morning.”
“But why?” Panic knotted in her stomach. Her renewed feelings for him would only continue to burgeon, the longer he stayed. “You are needed back in the village.”
“The village needs me to forge some more associations and contracts. The weekend is soon enough to return home.” He smiled. “In the meantime, how would you and Jeannie like to join me for dinner this evening?”
“Dinner?” Her reservations escalated.
“Yes. We could invite Laura and Adam, too, if you’d like. I’m sure they’d be able to find someone to look after their girls for a couple of hours. I can get a note sent to them by messenger from the hotel. Shall we say, six thirty?”
“I . . . well, I was . . .” A viable excuse escaped her and Jane sighed, slumping her shoulders. “Yes, why not. Six thirty is perfect.”
His gaze lingered a moment at her mouth before he raised his eyes. “Good. It will give Jeannie a chance to show off one of the dresses she is certain to have bought today. I’ll have my carriage brought around, and we can collect Adam and Laura on the way.”
Jane smiled, her cheeks aching from the strain. “That sounds lovely. I look forward to seeing you then.”
Turning, she walked up the short pathway to the door, pushed her key in the lock, and entered the house, closing the door behind her as quickly as politeness would allow. She released her held breath. It seemed she had at least another four days of intermittent torture every time Matthew came upon another reason for them to spend time together.
“You’re back. How did you get on at the Board?”
Jane started as Jeannie emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel.
“It went well. At least I think i
t did.” Jane moved to the mirror and unpinned her hat. “I spoke to a Mr. Howard and he said I was to come by the offices again on Thursday, when they will give me their decision.”
“Well, they didn’t say no straightaway so that can only be a good sign.”
Jane turned, her heart heavy with worry. “But if they do say no, I’m back to square one. I really don’t want to have to go home with my tail between my legs. If the Board refuses me, I will have to find another avenue in which to find work.”
“Such as?”
“I’m not sure. My friend, Miss Wrexford, works with some women’s groups, but after the way she and her mother spoke to Matthew the other day, working with either of them fills me with infinitely more trepidation than anticipation.” Jane waved her hat dismissively and forced some optimism into her voice. “Anyway, let’s forget about the Board for this evening. The squire has invited us to dinner. Did you find a dress today?”
Jeannie’s green eyes lit up. “I did. It’s second-, or maybe thirdhand, but it’s just lovely. Nothing wrong with it whatsoever.”
“Then I can’t wait to see it.” She clasped Jeannie’s hand. “But you mustn’t worry about buying something new if you see something you like. I can afford to treat my friend now and then.”
Jeannie flushed. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, I’m going upstairs for a quick nap before we get ready. Matthew said he will pick us up in his carriage at six thirty, and then we’ll go on to collect Laura and Adam.” She grinned. “It’s guaranteed to be an entertaining evening with the Laceys there.”
As they were shown to their table, Jane gazed around the restaurant. The mirrored walls, seemingly endless candlelit tables, and beautifully attired diners made the dining room seem twice its actual size. When Matthew held out her chair, Jane lowered into the seat, her skin tingling with awareness. He looked impossibly handsome in his black suit and bow tie, his broad shoulders accentuated by the jacket’s cut. Time and again, she’d caught his possessive gaze on her as he sat opposite her during their carriage ride to the restaurant.
Her heart and mind were in complete conflict. She could not wait for him to return to Biddestone so that she might gather her senses and concentrate on a future without him.
When he left her to take his seat, Jane drew her hands neatly into her lap. As much as it embarrassed her, the sexual tension between her and Matthew had grown to dangerous proportions now that he had declared he wanted to be with her. As much as the notion of making love with him scared her, Jane couldn’t deny the fission of excitement that rippled through her whenever she considered that she and Matthew might be together that way one day.
“So, Jane . . .” Laura leaned forward, her stunning violet eyes bright and happy. “Matthew was telling me that the Board’s decision will be made on Thursday. You must be in with a good chance of gaining a position when they are taking a couple of days to consider you. Did you tell them you have spoken to Mrs. Cage?”
Relaxing under her friend’s excited gaze, Jane forced her focus to Laura, rather than Matthew’s ridiculously masculine hands as they lay on the table. “I did. They were far from impressed that I took an unauthorized visit to Mrs. Cage’s house, but still, I hope it showed them I am not the delicate flower they assumed me to be when I arrived there.”
“Delicate flower?” Laura guffawed. “They clearly don’t know what you’re made of. If there is one thing I know about the Danes sisters, it is that you and Monica are the least delicate women I know.”
Jane feigned insult. “Well, thank you very much.”
“I didn’t mean . . .” Laura laughed. “You have no idea how much good it does my soul to see you joking, Jane. There were times when I was at Marksville that I worried every ounce of your joy would be sucked out of you before you had the opportunity to escape.” She squeezed Jane’s hand. “It’s good to see you happy. Even if I will worry about you the entire time you are alone.”
“There’s no need to worry.” Jane squeezed her friend’s hand back. “I haven’t felt so inspired about anything in my whole life. Working with children is my destiny, I’m certain of it.”
Before Laura could respond, the waiter arrived at the table and Adam ordered wine. Jane stiffened when Matthew leaned close to her ear, his soft breath lifting the curls at her cheeks. “You look very beautiful this evening.”
His softly spoken compliment threatened her efforts to maintain control of her desire. Her stomach pulled and, dragging every ounce of her tenacity to the surface, Jane held his gaze. “Thank you.”
“I have thought of little else but you since I left you this afternoon.”
She flicked her gaze around the table, her heart beating fast, but Adam, Laura, and Jeannie were in conversation, seemingly oblivious to her and Matthew’s intimacy. She coughed lightly. “And I you.”
He smiled and winked before pulling back, shifting in his seat. He lifted his glass of water to his lips and drank. “So, Adam . . .” Matthew replaced the glass on the table. “I will be in the city until the weekend. If there is anyone you think I should discuss business for the village with, I would appreciate any offer of names.”
Jane silently cursed her ill-advised admission of thinking about Matthew. She wanted him gone, yet had uttered enough to encourage him to stay longer. Her behavior was flirtatious at best, damning at worst.
Adam eyed Matthew carefully, and Jane frowned as his gaze flitted from Matthew, to her and back again. Adam’s stare was entirely too intense, as though Matthew’s staying in the city longer didn’t please him any more than it did her. Confused, Jane looked to her plate.
“I have very little to do with the trade industry, as you know,” Adam continued, nodding to the waiter as he reappeared and displayed the wine’s label for Adam’s inspection. “But I’ll keep my eyes and ears open.”
Jane glanced at Matthew.
He nodded at Adam, his eyes slightly narrowed. “Thank you.”
The tension between the men cast a cloud of discomfort over the table. Jane exchanged looks with Laura and Jeannie, hoping her friends might understand her silent request that they leave her and Matthew alone for a moment.
She had to find out what had happened between Matthew and Adam in order to help diffuse any bad feelings. As much as she might attempt to shed her previous dutiful demeanor, it was harder to shed her caring for those she loved.
Jeannie rose from the table first. She smiled at Jane and then Laura. “Would it be wrong of me to take a walk about the restaurant? I have never been in a place so lovely in all my life.”
Laura rose and cast a meaningful glance at Adam. “Of course, Jeannie. Adam and I would be happy to show you around, wouldn’t we?”
Jane bit back her smile as Adam glared at his wife, before emitting a heavy exhalation, gulping a mouthful of his wine, and standing. “If the waiter comes back, Matthew, will you order for us? I’m sure my wife has more faith in your wants than mine.”
With her spine rigid, Jane waited until her friends had left the dining room and entered the restaurant lobby before turning to Matthew. She frowned. “Have you and Adam had cross words? I sense tension between you.”
He picked up his wine and stared toward the exit. “I fear Adam thinks I don’t have your reputation at the forefront of my mind.” He met her eyes. “Apparently, he and Laura noticed that I looked at you as much more than a friend while we were at their house. He warned me to be careful in my intentions toward you.”
Heat seared Jane’s cheeks, and she picked up the menu, feigning perusal. “Then you must set him straight. Tell him nothing untoward will occur between us.”
“I have no wish to lie. I am fond of Adam.”
The distinct teasing in Matthew’s tone annoyed and amused Jane in equal measure, but she pushed away her weakness and snapped her gaze to his, bringing forth as much irritation as she could muster. “We need to reach an understanding.”
A shadow passed over Matthew’s eyes, obliter
ating the humor that had lingered there. “An understanding?”
“Yes. I have told you before . . .” She glanced around the restaurant, away from the drilling intensity of his study. “Whilst you and Elizabeth are still married, we cannot—”
“Don’t do this.” He covered her hand with his, his fingers tight. “Don’t draw away from me.”
Jane’s breath caught in her throat, and she snatched her hand from his into her lap and glared at him. “Don’t do that,” she whispered. “If you are so certain Adam’s concerns are unwarranted, do not make a public show of me.”
His eyes darkened. “A show of you? By taking your hand? Jane, we are doing nothing wrong.”
“How can you say that?” Jane whispered, her heart racing with fear and traitorous longing. “Your separation is public knowledge. What assumptions do you think people will make if they are to see—”
“Me take your hand?” He shook his head, his jaw tight. “I meant every word I said last night. I want us to be together. If me holding your hand causes such a furor, then I’ll assume people can see what we both already know burns between us.”
Even though her heart leapt with joy that the hours hadn’t brought with them a change of his mind . . . or heart, the looming self-disgust that she lingered on the cusp of adultery, clawed at her conscience.
“And you find that acceptable? I am not pursuing this while you are married. I came here . . .” Humiliation threatened as her eyes stung with unexpected tears. “I came here to get away from you.”
He stared at her, pain darkening his eyes. “To get away from me?”
Jane looked toward the archway through which her friends had disappeared, suddenly willing them to return.
“Jane? What do you mean, to get away from me?”
She faced him. “Just stop this, Matthew. Please.”
His jaw tensed as he picked up his wineglass. “Elizabeth and I are over. No matter how wrong I was to marry her in the first place, her betrayal drew a line under any kind of reconciliation.” His eyes hardened. “If you cannot understand that, or worse, expect me to forgive her, then maybe you don’t know me as I thought you did.”
Her One True Love Page 15
