by Jae Dawson
Ten minutes later, paramedics streamed into the bathroom and gently moved him onto a stretcher. I watched from the side, every muscle tight, my heart aching. He was moving into Maple Lane tomorrow. Now I wasn’t sure. Did I pass him off to others when he was even more vulnerable than before? Should I just hand off Burning Umbrage to Devon, Andy, and Bale, instead? What was more important, the last family I had left, or the career I’d spent my life working for?
I climbed into the back of the ambulance. My mind whirred faster than the red and blue flashing lights above me. Neighbors poured out of their homes and stood on their front lawns. Their faces blurred by out the back window as the vehicle barreled down the road toward the hospital in neighboring Silver Firs.
“Mr. Owens?” I slowly met the EMT’s gaze across from me. The man in uniform cleared his throat. “Do you have your grandfather’s list of medications?”
“Yeah.” I pulled out my phone and brought up the list and handed it over to him.
The knot forming in my throat grew tighter. I watched Gramps breathe easier behind the oxygen mask. But I couldn’t breathe. I was suffocating under all the pressure. Gramps met my eyes and I tried to smile. “It’ll be okay,” I quietly offered.
The lie stuck in my throat. Nothing would be okay.
Chapter Nineteen
Bella
I paced the hallway in front of the gym, where the school board meeting was starting in . . . I checked my phone. Three minutes.
And Cade was nowhere to be found.
I checked my text messages again. The blank white space taunted me. I had texted him fifteen minutes ago, to see if he was still planning to come.
He had promised. He had held my hand and sworn to be here.
Maybe something else with the band had delayed him. Things seemed ominous when we’d shown up after the costume store. Despite Cade’s explanation, how bad could things be if that Kenzie woman brought them breakfast? I straightened my dress, smoothing the cotton over my hips. She wasn’t that pretty. I mean, I guess she was if you were into that overly-tanned, overly-made up look.
Too far.
I didn’t want to be one of those women who tore down another. Even if Kenzie didn’t want my less-than-glamorous presence to ruin the magic of hers. And I got it. She worked in an industry that was all about show.
Still.
My brain was kind enough to parade before me the bevy of beautiful, glamorous women whom Cade had been linked to in the past. Who he had no doubt kissed and more. They knew what it was like to be worshipped by him. To have that smoldering voice of his whisper over their bodies.
It wasn’t important.
I mean, it was important.
Ugh.
What was important this moment was Cade’s presence. Or lack thereof.
A beat of irrational panic flooded me. What if he had already left? What if he’d just packed up and returned to L.A.? Not one goodbye. Not even a “Thanks, it’s been fun.”
No. He wouldn't have left without saying goodbye.
Although, that's what I had thought about Jason too. And . . . I was in Hartwood Falls now because of that prick. Three nights before our wedding—at our rehearsal dinner—I found out that Jason was leaving me.
Three days before the wedding.
One of Jason’s friends owned a gastropub in Sodo and the entire thing had been reserved for us. Mamma was there, and some of my aunts and uncles and cousins had flown in from Italy. Jason’s family was there from Connecticut. And all our friends—musicians and artists, an eclectic bunch. We had gathered together to celebrate.
Jason had grown distant, busy with the band and his new recording deal. I had been running around like a madwoman for the wedding. No red flags waved in my mind’s periphery. Nothing that would suggest he was actually, truly pulling away. I convinced myself it was normal and, as his future wife, I simply needed to accept that his life would be a rubber band, coming and going, distant then close. Another part of me believed that marriage would bring a form of normalcy back into our relationship. We would be us again.
That night, I paced in the muggy August heat, my cute new Mary-jane heels pinching my toes.
I had checked my phone every few seconds. Just like this.
And like the consummate coward he was, Jason had texted me. “I'm sorry, I can't do this. I’m not coming.”
The rest of the evening became a blur of disbelief as people went into action around me. All talking and whispering and murmuring apologies, while I sat, numb, wondering if I would ever feel anything again.
That had been the worst night of my life. Three days later, the day of our wedding, Mamma helped me burn my dress in a cleansing ritual she had insisted on. And while she prayed for renewal, I told myself I would never give a man that much power over me again.
And here I was, hoping yet again. The same knot in the pit of my stomach.
“Bella.” Principal Kelley stuck his head out the doors, his thick eyebrows raised.
I swallowed. “I don't know where he is.”
Principal Kelley's sympathetic look was almost worse than anything he could have said. “Well, we're second on the agenda. Maybe he'll make it.”
“Maybe.” I followed him inside and settled into a hard, plastic seat near the front.
I recognized Percy, one of the volunteer reporters from the Hartwood Herald, chatting with a slim woman in black slacks and a maroon sweater. She had a lanyard around her neck that secured a press badge. Not that such things were necessary—it’s not like she needed special permission to get in here. Though, it wasn’t beyond Principal Kelley to invite a reporter from the Seattle Times to hear Cade speak about the importance of arts education.
Great. Now he could show the world that art education didn't matter enough to him to even show up.
I half-listened to a spirited debate about replacing the fluorescent lighting in the district’s elementary schools.
My turn arrived far too soon.
My hands shook as I approached the podium.
“I know many of you—" I cleared my throat. “I know, tonight, many of you were hoping to hear from Hartwood Falls’s own heartthrob, Cade Owens. I'm sorry to say that Mr. Owens is indisposed and won't be joining us.” I was proud of the clarity in my voice; I just hoped that the crimson stain of humiliation didn't show on my cheeks. “So, you'll have to hear for me, instead,” I said with a little laugh.
I buried myself in my speech. Woodenly sharing the statistics they had heard from me time and again. Those details hadn’t been enough to convince them before. This was a useless exercise. I knew it. They knew it.
It felt far too long before I could flee from the stage, back to the safety of my seat.
Principal Kelley offered me a little nod of his head in solidarity.
I managed to smile, fighting back tears.
Before the meeting was finally over, I had to sit through another hour of math curriculum and school lunch program discussions.
And when the meeting was adjourned, I stood ready to flee.
“Miss Pagano, a moment.” Carrie Macmillan, the president of the school board, strode toward me. She was a friendly older woman with striking silver hair.
“Thanks for your words today. I was sorry Mr. Owens wasn't able to join us.”
I tried to politely smile. “Me too. I'm sure whatever kept him must have been important.”
“I was excited to hear from him because I think—” she glanced around us. There were other conversations buzzing around the room, but none close by. “I thought it might be what makes the difference. I am sympathetic to your cause, Ms. Pagano, and I agree with you. Unfortunately, it's not me you need to convince.”
My mind scrambled for some way to pull this evening out of the fire. She was saying I had her support, I just needed to convince the rest of the board. An idea struck me.
“Maybe you could talk to him another time . . . or rather, some of the other members who could use convincing could speak t
o him.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “What do you recommend?”
“What about our dress rehearsal? Cade is assisting with the musical, Little Shop of Horrors. Tech week is every day until opening night. But, the main dress rehearsal will be on the thirtieth.”
“The thirtieth is before our next meeting,” Mrs. MacMillan mused.
“You could bring the members you believe would most benefit from seeing things firsthand. I'll do everything I can to make sure Cade is there.”
“Sounds like a splendid idea.” She nodded. “A last stand, if you will.”
My stomach clenched. “Yes.”
“Take heart, Ms. Pagano. The battle is not yet over.” She smiled broadly, and then turned to talk with another board member.
I spun on my heel and hurried out of the building, unsure that I was going to be able to hold it together for another moment. I burst out of the double doors and into the night, the cool October evening hitting me like a cold slap to the face.
I sucked in a ragged breath and fumbled with my keys, desperately trying to make it to my car before I cried.
How could I have been such a fool? I thought that Cade was trustworthy. Different than Jason. Based on what . . . a few smiles? A few flirtatious words? How many other women had he told were beautiful while enjoying their body? Flirting and seduction was second nature to men like him. It was their language, their currency in the world.
And I had bought it, hook line and sinker.
My phone buzzed in my purse as I pulled into my driveway. It was Cade. I wiped my cheeks dry and cleared my throat. “Hello?”
“Bella!” Hearing Cade’s voice on the other end almost made my tears flow fresh. It wasn’t fair for the man to make two syllables sound like music with his beautiful, lovely baritone. “Am I too late? Is it over?”
“It’s over.”
Silence.
“Shit, Bella, I’m really sorry.” He sighed heavily, and I could imagine him running his fingers through his hair in that way he did. “I totally forgot.”
“It’s all right,” I replied with as much forced lightness as I could manage.
“No, it’s not. I was just talking with the doctors and Gramps finally woke up from the pain meds, and . . . shit.”
I sat up straighter. “What doctors? Is Gramps okay?”
“I think he will be. He fell in the bathroom, and we had to take him to Silver Firs. He didn’t break anything, thank God. The old man is tough as nails.”
I let out a little laugh and the sudden tension began fading. “Cade, I’m so sorry. That must have been really scary.”
So, Cade hadn’t just blown off the meeting. I didn’t know where that left me. I understood, of course I did. But pacing the halls waiting for Cade had brought up some ugly parallels between Cade and Jason. Cade would still put his band first, like Jason did. And why wouldn’t he? We’d known each other all of six weeks.
“Terrifying,” Cade was saying.
It was my turn to sigh. “I just wish you would have called. I didn’t know what to tell them.”
“I know, I wish I would have too. My brain just crashed with worry.”
That made sense, I guess.
“Bella, I really want to see you. I just need . . . I don’t know. I hate how we left things with Bix and Kenzie showing up.”
I hesitated. I wanted to see him too, desperately. And that made me pause. I wasn’t able to be objective around him. And I think I needed that right now.
“I’m pretty tired Cade. Tonight won’t work.”
“Yeah, sure, I understand. I should stay here, anyway.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to ask the one question I didn’t want to ask. “How long are they staying? Devon, and your manager and stuff?”
Cade huffed. “Well, he’s not my manager anymore. He quit. But, not long. They want me to come back to L.A.”
“Right.”
On some level, of course, I knew that Cade didn’t live here. That when his community service was over, he would leave. But I hadn’t thought I’d have to face his departure quite so soon. It had been nice to live in a pleasant fantasy, rather than cold reality, just for a little while.
“Well if this show is a big opportunity, you can’t pass it up, right? You and your bandmates have worked so hard to get where you are.”
“Yeah. It’s just . . . it’s a Halloween show.”
A Halloween show. Meaning he’d miss the play. “Would the judge allow that?”
“I don’t know. Kenzie’s working with my lawyer to petition the judge.”
“Is that what you want?”
He didn’t answer. Not even after a couple of seconds. Like he didn’t know how to answer.
I tipped my head back, examining the ceiling of my car as I fought back tears. “Kenzie seems like the type of woman who gets what she wants.”
“I can tell my lawyer not to do it.”
And have him resent me for ruining his career over some school-crush feelings? What an ass to dump that decision on my lap.
“Don’t be silly, Cade. You can’t throw away your career for some dumb high school musical.” I pressed a shaking hand over my mouth. Never mind that it would be the end of my career.
“Bella, it’s not what you think. I . . . I don’t want to let you down.”
I couldn’t hold them back any longer—the tears started to fall. And hard. “Let’s be real, Cade. We both know that you were always going to let me down.”
Chapter Twenty
Cade
Dev and I pulled into the hospital parking lot. “Thanks for giving me a ride.”
“Anything for you and Gramps,” Devon replied.
I hadn't slept well. Last night, my conversation with Bella played over and over in my mind. I needed to clear the air. But I didn’t know what to tell her. I didn’t really want to go to L.A. until after the musical, but not everything was my decision. Andy, Bale, Dev . . . we were a band of brothers. After Houston, I owed them this gig. Hell, I owed them more than this gig.
My phone rang as we strode through the sliding doors and into the hospital. “Hold on.” I glanced at the caller ID. “My lawyer.”
I ducked back outside and answered. “Hello?”
“Cade, it’s Tristan Sanderson.”
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Your publicist Kenzie called me yesterday and explained the situation with your Halloween show. Before I talk to the judge, I wanted to ensure you want your sentence shortened?”
I blinked in surprise. “Yeah, go ahead and ask.”
Choosing the band wasn’t abusing my celebrity status anymore. Not really. I had served my sentence up the last ten hours or so. Still, my stomach churned and roiled. For leaving Gramps the same day he transitioned to Maple Lane’s care, for leaving Bella and the kids . . .
“Good,” Tristan replied, interrupting my thoughts. “I don't anticipate the request being too much of an issue. You've done an excellent job on your community service, and it would only be about a dozen hours we would knock off your sentence. I think we should be able to get it done quickly.”
“Thanks,” I said half-heartedly.
“All right, then. I won't take up any more of your time. I'll keep you posted.”
I hung up the phone and swallowed back the rising nausea.
Devon arched an eyebrow when I returned.
“All good. Just trying to figure out about getting my sentence lifted.”
We proceeded down the hall to Gramps’ room. He was already dressed and was sitting in the chair by the window. I furrowed my brow. He held a pie box on his lap, stamped with Sweet Flower Bakery’s logo.
“Gramps, how you feeling?”
“Ready to get out of this place.”
Devin and I both reached out hands to help him stand, but he waved us away. “Gotta do it myself.”
“Let me take that, at least.” I took the pie from him and turned it, so I could see the label. Pecan. His and
Gran’s favorite. “Who’s this from?”
“I thought you knew,” he said. “Bella stopped by this morning.”
“Bella?” I looked up in surprise.
“You're familiar? That girl you were necking with in the costume store dressing room?”
I rolled my eyes and Dev chortled a laugh.
“Not sure how that banana costume created a mood—”
Devon’s head whipped my way. “Banana costume? What kind of kinky shit are you into?”
Gramps laughed and I playfully glared at him. That old man was toast. I would never hear the end of it from Dev now and he knew it.
Ignoring my silent threat, Gramps maneuvered himself to a stand. “Did you tell her pecan’s my favorite?”
“No,” I said, playing along with his fake innocence. “Bella’s mysterious like that.”
I was touched by her gesture, especially after how we’d left things. I wanted to be mad at her accusation that I was always going to let her down. Over what? That I was in a band? A Gold record band, no less. I let her into my life, into Gramps’s. Did she think it was it was all so I could manipulate her into a hot makeout session? I didn’t need to play games to get a woman in bed with me, if that’s what I wanted. But God, the tears in her voice. It was ripping me up inside.
Our moment in the dressing room was more than arousal to me. My heart was tangled up in each touch, each kiss. I had felt myself falling for her before then . . . over traded lyrics, over piano keys and guitar strings, over the way our voices blended into a harmony that shook the marrow of my soul. Somehow, while I wasn’t looking, she had become my muse, my Moonlight and Belladonna. My drug, my poison.
“I put a spell on you . . .” Gramps began singing Scream’n Jay Hawkins’s lyrics with a wink thrown my direction.
Dev took Gramps’s overnight bag.
“Let's get home so we can put that in the fridge.” My friend must have noticed the dazed look in my eyes, the one Gramps was teasing me about.
