Dalton had noticed Emma yawning and sagging more into her pillow he didn’t like that she moved away from his touch either. But he had also seen her resolve. He was turning into a pussy letting her dictate what he did and didn’t do. But he would give her today maybe even tomorrow and then he would explain things again. Hopefully he would finally get through to the stubborn bull-headed woman.
He was about to put a stop to the conversation when Mia stood up and clapped her hands together “Okay Dalton is going to go and get you some food. Looking to Emma she said while he is doing that I am going to do a quick exam to make sure everything is going good post-delivery. The exam will be pretty basic. I have tests running as we speak to determine exactly what your continued care will involve. Right now, sleep food and healing are what is needed.
Emma wanted to sleep she didn’t want to eat. She also wanted a couple of minutes alone with her daughter but knew she wouldn’t last much longer. Her eyes were heavy and she wasn’t looking forward to the exam Mia said she was going to do. She just wanted a little sleep then she would face what was coming next at least that was what she tried to convince herself.
Mia continued talking” After you are done eating I am going to give you some medicine. It is going to make you sleepy, please know sleep is the best possible medicine. You are safe here Emma we will all protect you and your daughter with our lives if you don’t believe anything please believe that.”
Emma appreciated the comment but knew she would make up her own mind regarding the Alpha Team. She wanted to trust them to keep her daughter safe she didn’t care about herself but she still had questions and reservations. Maybe if she could get a little sleep she could think more clearly, right now she needed to trust that at least for a little while they all kept their promises. She truly didn’t have any other choice.
Dalton was going to protest but Mia gave him a look that kind of freaked him out. She looked like Jacks on a bad day. Her scowl was prominent and she exuded an Alpha vibe that took him by surprise. Never having been around the Doctor he wasn’t quite sure how to take her but that look was any indication then he needed to take her seriously. She had probably perfected that look working as a doctor but Dalton kind of thought there was more to it. He made a vow to look into Mia James a little further once he got the chance. Ryleigh trusted her but Dalton didn’t know her from Adam.
Conceding Emma did need food he got up and moved to the door stopping only once to make sure his littlest charge was comfortable in her bed. He couldn’t resist looking back before he actually cleared the door and he didn’t like what he saw. Not only did Emma look tired but she also looked utterly lost. Resolving himself to give her time he walked out of the room to get her something to eat. He knew he would do whatever it took even if that meant backing off to let her heal. He was determined to be a part of her life, now as a friend in the future hopefully something much more.
Emma loved the look Dalton gave her baby on the way out of the room but she needed to keep those feelings close to the chest. Sometimes he acted like he wanted more between them at other times he was standoffish and closed off. Everything was just too much. She had just given birth no way should she be thinking about anything other than getting better and taking care of her daughter. Dalton inspired fantasies she should not even be considering. Why would a man that could have any woman want a broken woman with a child? Was she so desperate that she was reading into it feelings for her that weren’t even there? Did she want the fairy tale husband, kids, white picket fence and happily ever after? Sure, she did! She couldn’t help but feel she was she placing Dalton in that position because of her desire for him, when he had only been kind to someone in need as he would for anyone in her situation. Yeah, she probably was doing just that.
She would do what she had always done and that was muddle through they best that she could she needed to be strong now more than ever before. Now she had someone else relying on her. The tears that she had been holding back were threating to explode from her once again and she just wanted everyone to leave. Thankfully she didn’t have to wait long Ryleigh left shortly after Dalton had and Mia shortly after she completed her exam.
The exam was simple like Mia had said she palpated her stomach checked to make sure she wasn’t bleeding heavily and then checked her vitals. Emma was thankful for that, she was starting to feel like a bug under a microscope. Mia left pretty quickly and said she would be back after she ate. Emma took those few quiet moments alone to just be. She longed to hold her daughter but knew she didn’t have the strength to get out of the bed to get to her. Maybe when Dalton got back or one of the others she would ask them to hand her the baby. Too numb to cry or think Emma just laid there her mind and body unable to compute all that had happened.
Dalton went to the kitchen and tried to avoid running into any of his teammates. He didn’t have the time or the patients for any of their questions or judgments. He also didn’t want to tell any of them what he saw. He knew they meant well and he understood the need to keep everyone safe but he was still angry. Understanding didn’t mean compliance another thing that was shocking. Dalton never questioned or debated direct orders before he never rocked the boat. He did his job and he did it well Emma didn’t even realize how much Dalton was will to do for her and her daughter. It would more than likely scare the crap out of her it sure as shit scared the crap out of him.
He had no idea what to do with a mate and a child. Sometimes it felt as though Emma was accepting him and other times she was distant and cold. He admired her strength and will but he also liked being her lifeline. He loved holding her those moments before Mia and Ryleigh interrupted them were precious to him and he hoped there would be more in the future. But then again what did he honestly have to offer Emma. He didn’t have the first clue on how to build a relationship with a woman. When he needed a release, he searched out a willing woman he didn’t date. Shit his longest standing relationship to date was a one-night stand that lasted all of eight hours. He didn’t even know how to woo a woman generally he just showed up at a bar or the club and selected his conquest for the night.
Emma kept saying he was a good man but was he truly? His bear was generally out of control he only formed attachments to his team. His childhood was crap. Damn if it wasn’t for the mating thing riding him he would just let her go he wasn’t in any shape to be someone’s mate. That is if he was even able to let her go which he doubted. He didn’t think his beast or even himself could live without her. Making up Emma’s tray he filled a mug with mainly broth then filled a glass with grape juice grabbing the fresh bread Cash had left he cut off two generous slices and added some butter. Then finally placing two pieces of biscotti on a separate dish. Emma deserved something sweet for all that she had been through. Looking at the tray he even thought about putting a flower or something on it didn’t chicks like that kind of thing having never been in this position before he had no clue.
Walking down the hall with tray in hand, Dalton was playing and replaying all his doubts and hopes in his head. Standing outside of the door he took and deep breath deciding he was going to move forward like he planned on being with a future for both of them Emma would either respond or she wouldn’t. He might not fully understand what was going on with them but he was willing to put the time and effort into finding out.
Emma never even noticed Dalton walking into the room. It was the act of him arranging the tray over her lap that brought her attention to him. She was still in a same position on the bed as when he left. When he started to spoon some soup out for her she cringed, she wasn’t hungry and she didn’t want to be treated like a child right at the moment. Emma needed some time and was thankful that her daughter chose that moment to wake up and start making a fuss. Asking Dalton to care for the baby Emma forced herself to eat some of the food not tasting anything.
Dalton was still holding the baby when Mia came back. Emma desperately wanted to hold her daughter but she also just as desperately wanted oblivion.
She didn’t feel as though she was good for anyone at the moment not herself and not her daughter. Satisfied that Dalton was watching over her little one Emma watched as Mia placed the medicine in her IV port. Shortly thereafter her head felt fuzzy, her limbs felt heavy then she knew nothing but darkness.
Chapter 31
For the next couple of days Dalton rarely left Emma side. Only going to get her food or take care of business that the Team needed. At first it was awkward and their conversations was stilted. But with time things became more comfortable and natural. Emma still wasn’t sure where her mind was at she went from completely trusting in her current circumstance to doubting everything and everyone. But she was determined to get though it on her own. She enjoyed hearing about Dalton and the other Team members but especially learning more about Dalton. He told her some funny stories about the other members of Alpha team and gave her glimpses into his past like his childhood and military career. She loved that he was letting her in. To her it felt like a bond was forming and she hoped he felt the same way. Nothing about their situation was traditional. There were no dinner dates or going to the movies. But these moments alone were special she just wished she didn’t have so many doubts.
One night about a week into her recovery they were playing a game of twenty questions. He started the game. He got to ask her any question he wanted and then she got to do the same. The questions started with normal ones like favorite food or color. Emma favorite food was chicken and gravy over mashed potatoes and Daltons was Cash’s lasagna. To both of their surprise they shared their favorite color green. The mundane questions continued for quite a while, Emma had a feeling Dalton wanted to ask more intimate questions but seemed to be avoiding them. So, she decided to take the lead.
When Emma asked about his most embarrassing moment as a child he told her it was when he realized that his middle name was actually a girl name. After much prodding, she finally got him to reveal that name under the strict penalty of bad things happening if she ever revealed it. Emma knew he was joking but acted very serious when she accepted the challenge. His full name was Dalton McKenna Hayes and Emma loved it. She got a piece of him that he didn’t let others have and it made her feel special.
When he asked about her most embarrassing moment Emma wanted to avoid answering because she didn’t want him or anyone else to be sorry for her. At first, she tried to stop the game but Dalton wasn’t having it. “Now honey I answered all of your questions so you have to answer mine.”
“Dalton I honestly don’t want to answer that question please.” Emma pleaded but ultimately gave in. “My most embarrassing memory was from kindergarten. We were having a spring pageant and a little girl asked me where my parents were.” Emma looked down she didn’t want to see the look on Dalton’s face. He had a crappy childhood but at least he had friends and clansmen that looked out for him. Emma didn’t have anyone.
“Oh, damn I’m sorry…” Dalton started to say but she stopped him. “No Dalton please it was a long time ago and although I don’t like to talk about it I have moved passed it, now it is just a part of who I am. Please don’t feel sorry for me I seem to do enough of that for everyone.” She tried to make light but the truth was that her past only added to the depression she had been feeling pressing down on her.
As the days turned into weeks Emma was becoming more and more attached to Dalton and their time together. But she also became more and more scared regarding the budding relationship. Dalton represented everything Emma had ever wanted in a boyfriend mate or partner. He was strong loving and respectful. He gave her the space she needed but also stayed within reach. He helped her with her to get stronger even helping her with her physically therapy when Ryleigh couldn’t. He also seemed to love her daughter. It all seemed to be too perfect for Emma. He was exactly what she wanted and needed most but she couldn’t help but question if it was real. Her mind wasn’t processing the way it usually did and her body was depleted. Then there was the whole reason she was with him and the shit just kept on falling downhill. Emma was so confused.
Dalton was a touchy-feely guy and it surprised Emma that she actually liked that about him. He was always touching her arm or offer kisses in a platonic kind of way on the forehead or check. But Emma longed for more. One time when he tried to kiss her cheek she turned her head wishing for his supple lips to meet with hers just once, he stopped before the action could be completed much to her displeasure. She dreamed about completing that kiss and prayed it would happen soon.
She had been having dreams about his lips for the last couple of days. She spent so much time memorized by his mouth she was pretty sure it was imprinted in her memory for life. His bottom lip was fuller then the top and looked suckable. The top lip wasn’t anything to sneeze at though it formed a perfect cupid bow she wanted to taste them both. When he licked his lips with his tongue a nervous habit he seemed to have if he was really getting into a story her panties would become drenched and her clit throbbed.
She craved his touch and relished in the small acts of intimacy but couldn’t help wanting more. She wasn’t in any position to complete anything at the moment. Her dreams became more and more erotic. She would wake up startled and gasping for breath. Emma knew that Dalton thought she was having nightmares and she didn’t correct him because she was just plain embarrassed. He didn’t seem to be affected by her as she was by him and that hurt.
Her only regret during this time was that she wasn’t bonding with her daughter as much as she would have liked. The Team had rallied around her and someone was always taking care of the baby. She just had so many doubts. The Psychologist Ava that Ryleigh and Mia had set her up with was an excellent Psychologist nothing like the ones Emma encountered as a child. But Emma was still holding back. She wasn’t being completely honest with the woman. She was still fearful of her past and her present. She felt more and more depressed every day and the pretending was taking a toll on her more than she was able to comprehend.
Ava had explained to Emma that she was suffering from not only post-partum depression but also PTSD. It was why she had a hard time getting her mind around everything. Ava explain that it was okay and that they would work on all of it but Emma was doubtful. She did not want to admit it but she felt distant from her daughter and the rest of the people who came to talk to her every day and it wasn’t getting any better.
All of the Alpha Team were a godsend especially Dalton. Her strength hadn’t completely returned and she was sleeping way more than usual. Dalton or one of the others would help her into a rocking chair that someone had provided so she could at least help with feeding her daughter at least once every day. She liked that time the most. It made her feel somewhat normal. Ryleigh would come in to help her shower but Dalton was there for everything else. He would help her to the bathroom and wait for her to finish then help her back into bed. The man was a saint no question.
Whether it was her physical condition or her depression she wasn’t sure which but it was causing havoc with her mental wellbeing as well. Mia continued to medicate her which added to her frustration making her groggy or lethargic most of the time. She wanted to be strong she wanted to be her baby’s primary caregiver but even after several weeks she was still in no condition to do that and it broke her heart exasperating her symptoms.
Ryleigh and Emma were also becoming closer spending time together each day talking and taking care of Emma’s basic needs. Mia had told her that her shifter DNA was a match for the DNA that Ryleigh herself had they were essentially sisters. That blew her mind and set off crying fit for both her and Ryleigh. Emma had always wanted a sibling a family to call her own and Ryleigh seemed to need the same thing. She had already adopted the men of the Alpha team as her brothers and now Emma and her baby as well. Emma was pretty sure that even without the DNA match Ryleigh would have treated her the same way.
During one of their talks Ryleigh told Emma all about her adopted Dad and how his brother Seamus Quinn was their biological father but
unfortunately, he had died young and under suspicious circumstances. Emma felt bad that she would never be able to meet the man that had essentially given her life. Knowing the woman that actually birthed her was more than likely just a paid surrogate also hurt. Ryleigh and her daughter seemed to be the only blood family she would ever have except for Declan. Pandora had taken so much from her that it only strengthened her resolve to get justice for what she had been through.
Ryleigh wanted her to meet her father and assured her that when he returned from his current mission she would make that happen. Ryleigh kept on telling her that Declan her father would want a relationship with Emma and her daughter it was the Shifter way. Males protected what was theirs and Emma and her daughter being of his brother’s blood would facilitate that relationship. Emma was skeptical. This man didn’t know her but these insta-bonds Shifters seemed to have led Emma to believe that there might be some truth to the statement.
She came to love the times Ryleigh would tell her the stories Declan had told her about his childhood with Seamus. She wanted that connection to him even if it was through a third party and she hoped that Declan would tell her more if they ever meet. Not to mention a small part of her just wanted to believe what Ryleigh was saying. She could have the family she always dreamed of a father a sister and maybe a boyfriend. Real connections. But then again shouldn’t that connection start with her child?
She was not an eleven-year-old child as Ryleigh had been when Declan Quinn came into her life. She was a grown woman. Still hoped that the man would want something to do with her daughter to give her something Emma was never able to have a father figure a good man in her life. She wanted that person to be Dalton. But she felt the odds of that happening were slim to none. She just didn’t trust enough yet to believe in the long term. Regardless of what he may have said or how he acted.
Dalton: NAC & The Holly Group (Alpha Team Book 2) Page 21
