“I’m not staying there,” he murmurs, irritated.
“What? You don’t want to see them squirt cold shit on my stomach?”
All right, so maybe not running away was the smart thing to do. It is super fun to watch an uncomfortable Shadow squirm.
“No, ma’am.”
Ah, hell.
“Shadow!” Winter whines.
He said it on purpose to irritate her. Everyone knows all the women hate being called ma’am. The only one that allows it is Grandma Berry and that is only because she is getting older.
As Winter scrambles around to gather her things to leave, I take the opportunity to look at Shadow. I don’t get many chances to do this. He is the watcher, not the watched.
He looks as good as he always does. Tall, dark, and handsome, all wrapped in a leather cut. Shadow’s dark black hair spiked at the tips, his cologne smelling fresh, his black club bracelets tugging tightly against his wrists. His light blue jeans hang off his body enough that you can still see his thigh muscles through them. His lips stretch in a dark scowl and yet it still looks incredibly sexy on him. His whole demeanor screams ‘fuck me hard’, and hell if I don’t want to jump on him and do that.
I know the kind of lifestyle Shadow is in. I’ve been practicing, studying, and adopting it as my own for the past several months. I may not know the very extent of his particular trade, but I do know a little about it. Pain. He loves to inflict pain. He needs to cause harm to another in order for him to cum.
One night, I followed him to a BDSM club. Shadow wouldn’t touch me at all, and I figured out why. He is afraid he might scare me off.
So I made the choice to walk into the club unprepared and not knowing zip. The first few times I practiced, it was fantastic. I tried the light restraints and being gagged. It wasn’t until Shadow told me he’s a Sadist and loved to inflict actual pain that I dug a little deeper. That is when I messed up. I messed up horribly.
I met a guy outside the club. Instead of going inside, we decided to go to his place. Taking my practice and learning outside of the club playspace was my first mistake. My second was leaving with a man I didn’t know and practicing bondage and autoerotic asphyxia with him. He beat me as I was bound, and not lightly, I might add. He caused extreme bruising to my face, and he choked me so hard that I was unconscious for too long. The man was obviously a very sick Sadist, or he had no knowledge of what the hell he was doing. I may be new at this, but even Shadow made it clear that erotic asphyxiation was not to be practiced like that. A little too late did I find out about edgeplay. It was by far the worst thing I have ever felt and done. I still study and practice the lifestyle. So far, I am leaning more towards sadomasochism, and a little bondage interests me.
At first, I did this so I could be with Shadow. After all, this is his way of life. This is what he needs, but as time has gone by, I’ve decided to see it through, with or without him. It interests me, and I find myself craving more. But since the club won’t allow me to go back there right now, I read and try to understand everything that I can while Shadow sits in denial.
My eyes drift closed as he moves behind me. God, why does he do this to me? He leans over and deliberately places his lips to my ear. The fucker knows what he does to me. He likes to play this sick game and rile up my emotions.
“Whatcha doin’, darlin’,” he asks.
“What does it look like I’m doing, Shadow?”
I’ll play head games right back. I’ll act like I couldn’t give a crap about him whispering behind me. Bastard ass!
“Tea, what’s with the hostility?”
Seriously?
“Not hostile, just busy.” I hit the save as button on my laptop so I don’t lose all my homework. There is absolutely no way I will be able to focus with him around me. Hell, I will be lucky if I can even function when he leaves, which I hope is very soon.
“You’ve been a little distant, Tea. What’s that about?”
Oh. My. God.
Mind games. This is what he does. Pushes and pulls, pushes and pulls, over and over again. It makes me want to turn the tables on his ass and cause bodily freaking harm!
Must. Remain. Calm, Tatiana!
“You kept pushing me away, Shadow. I’m only giving you what you wanted.”
After I close my laptop and shove my papers back into a folder, I turn to face him. He looks pensive, but almost smirky at the same time. Although he looks hot in his shades, I always want to rip them from his face so I can see his eyes. If I want to get answers from Shadow, I’ll find them in his gaze. This is one of the main reasons he keeps them covered and masks them with blue contacts.
“Hmm…” He manages to get out minutes later.
I want to grab him by his leather cut and shake the shit out of him.
“Shadow, I’m ready to go.” Winter’s voice breaks our gaze from one another.
Thank god!
My shoulders slump and he takes one last look at me before turning towards Winter. Storm cackles and waits for Shadow and Winter to leave before she opens her mouth.
“Well, that wasn’t tense at all…”
I smirk at her. “Very funny, Storm.”
Piper puts the last bottle of whiskey away before she comes back to the bar, leans in, knots her hands under her chin, and stares at me.
No, that isn’t weird at all.
“You’re creeping me the hell out, Piper.”
She looks at Storm before they burst out in laughter. They are trying to get a rise out of me and I am doing my best to refrain from letting my age show. I may not be much younger than they are, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to act more mature.
“You think it’s too early for them to know what the baby is?”
Storm sighs before answering Piper. “Probably so, but try telling that to Braxx.”
My heart aches for her and my father, and even though Storm says she is okay with not having a baby, everyone knows it is the biggest lie of them all.
***
Chapter Three
Shadow
This is not my idea of a good time. Sitting at the doctor’s office with a pregnant woman, who isn’t knocked up by me, is beyond fucking uncomfortable. We aren’t even here five minutes before women start staring at me. Generally, I’d take pleasure in making them squirm under my scrutiny, but they are stressing Winter out. It doesn’t take a lot to figure out she is exercising a lot of patience right now. The magazine in her lap even starts to irritate her and the pages begin to crinkle under her fingertips.
“Don’t you see he’s fucking sitting here with a pregnant woman? I could very well be his fucking wife!”
I groan. Fuck! Where the hell is my Prez?
This has to be those pregnancy hormones he keeps bitching about.
Why in the fuck am I stuck doing this shit? Winter is a cool chick, don’t get me wrong, but this is not my area of expertise. I’ve got to give it to her. She’s handling the vultures pretty well. They really are sitting here openly staring at us, as they try to figure us out.
“Do you not see the leather he’s sporting?”
A chuckle escapes my lips and her head turns towards mine, so quickly, it reminds me of the damn exorcist and I almost shiver. Hell, she can be scary. I hold my hands up in defense to remind her I am not the bad guy.
“Get my mind off these idiot women who are picturing you taking them out to the parking lot and showing them a good time.”
I frown. Taking one of these women out to the parking lot is not my idea of a good time. Now, thoughts of binding her wrists behind her back and pounding ruthlessly into her dry cunt have my cock jerking inside my jeans.
“What’s going on with you and Tatiana?”
Not this shit again. If I didn’t know any better, I would assume everyone wants my palm print on Tea’s ass, and maybe even a little blood drawn from her. Are they fucking nuts? The thought does seem more than appealing.
“Well…,”
Where the hel
l is my Prez? His wife is on my last nerve. I would give my right nut to get out of this conversation. That is how uncomfortable it is.
“Ain’t shit going on, and to be honest with you, it’s really pissing me off how everyone won’t get off my goddamn case about it!”
She laughs as she responds. “You… you dumb shit. You want her, and you’re like all the other men in Breakneck.” She leans down to whisper. “You’re all fucking pussies.”
I clap my hands together like the smartass that I am. “Congratulations, you got us all figured out, don’t you?”
“What’s going on?”
I groan and turn towards my Prez. I’m that out of my game if I didn’t even sense him enter the doctor’s office. What in the fucking shit is wrong with me lately?
“Not shit. I’m outta here.”
I’m going to fucking play. I have to get rid of all this excess frustration that has built up inside of me. If I can’t release my demons, I might never get my shit back together. The thought makes me ill. I don’t even wait for the Prez to give me orders. I’m not doing jack shit until after I sink my cock into some pussy.
“What’s his fucking problem?” Prez asks Winter as I walk away.
“I was being nosey,” she replies.
Damn straight, she was. I sense eyes on me as I leave, and this time I know where they are coming from. All these damn horny, pregnant women think I’m a prime steak that they want to sink their teeth into. Little do they know I’m the big bad wolf, and if anyone is going to sink some teeth into flesh, it’ll be me. If the Prez thinks I’m coming back to this cesspool of little lambs, he’s got another thing coming. I’d rather do the prospects’ job and clean the damn toilets.
I wish I could straddle my lady right now, but since I had to drive Prez’s wife around, I’m stuck with the fucking Rover. I could go back and get my metal, but that would waste time, and I desperately need to ease this itch that’s clawing at me from the inside.
Once I’m in the Rover, I dig out my prepay and double-check my messages. I may say I need pussy right now, but if my brothers did call on me, I’d be there. Hands down, no questions asked. I press the button to light up my screen.
Nothing. Hell yes.
I throw my phone into the passenger seat, start up the Rover, and make my way to heaven. I look in the rearview mirror and smirk at myself.
Yeah, you’re about to play, buddy.
***
When the doorman checks my membership, he eyes my gun, and I give him a look that says, try me. He steps aside for me to enter Euphoria. I don’t even bother going to the bar to grab a quick drink. I’m not here for fucking chit chat. My sorry-ass friend Alec leans against his office door, his arms laced across his chest as he studies the crowd. I won’t start a scene until I talk with him first. The asshole is so lax lately, I have to get information before I flag someone. The system of approach at this particular club is simple. Well, it would be if Alec hadn’t grown so lazy.
It is imperative a person know the etiquette of the place where he or she is having a scene. Think of it like this. I can’t walk up into someone’s home and do as I want. I don’t go in, thinking I know everything there is to know about the place, and prop my feet up on the damn coffee table. If I do something like that, I’ll find my ass back out on the sidewalk.
Take the leather adorning my right wrist, for instance. One band signals that I’m a Dominant Sadist. The one with thin, light red stitching indicates that I like blood play. Alec’s flagging system is as simple as it is tasteful, but again, he’s becoming negligent.
“What’s good?” I ask as I near him.
“Damn cops still hanging around.” Alec turns towards me, frowning.
I would love nothing more than to say I told you so. I’ve warned him that he was getting too slack with the club. The kink world needs to stay locked tight like a fucking vault. People lose jobs because of this particular lifestyle. Not to mention, it’s illegal almost everywhere.
“Sir…”
Before turning my attention towards Rose, Euphoria’s manager, I slip into my persona. Alec has strict rules for her to call all club members Sir or Ma’am when addressing them. I give a little nod, gesturing her to continue.
“Your lease is up. Would you like to renew it?”
I hate to waste money, knowing the club is taking over, but if I don’t renew, Alec will become suspicious. When it comes to my lifestyle, I am a creature of habit.
“Yes, thank you, Rose.”
“Very well, Sir. Enjoy,” she says quietly as she walks away.
I would love to play with her, but again, it is against the rules. Even if Alec were to become slack on that one, I wouldn’t touch her. Although her long, red hair and blue eyes appeal to me, and her light, porcelain skin would look lovely with red marks, she’s off limits to me.
“Still don’t want to give up your room, eh?”
I take my attention from Rose’s backside and turn back towards my friend.
“Month after month, you know me.” I would hate for my room to go towards some dumb fuck who wouldn’t tend to it properly. I have everything how I like it. My belongings are nicely organized and sterile, and I want to keep it that way. If I don’t follow up on my lease, my shit will be stuck in a small locker, and what a pain in the ass that would become.
“You require Yolanda before you leave?” Alec questions.
I refrain from saying, “Don’t I always,” and nod yes.
Yolanda is a godsend here at Euphoria. Her job is to sterilize, organize, and clean everything with bleach. Some refuse to use her because her services are expensive. She is paid a salary for her basic duties, but when it comes to sterilizing toys and personalized rooms, she charges extra. It’s Alec’s way of getting her more money without him actually being the one to pay it. She deserves the extra, though.
Hell, if it weren’t for her, and the fact that Rose is such a great manager, I wouldn’t even play here anymore. I’d play at my house. With Rose in charge, I don’t worry about STD screenings. She is on top of that. In all honesty, when Breakneck takes over this club, I plan to ask Winter and Prez if Rose and Yolanda can continue their employment here. It’d be a shame to lose them when they are very knowledgeable and discreet with this lifestyle.
“What are your tastes today, my friend?”
Hmm… “Rose has me yearning for a pale, redhead.”
Alec looks around. “Right over there.” He nods his head to the left. “Haven’t had her, but I hear good things.”
My eyes follow his line of sight until they reach the woman he is referring to. She’ll do. Although her skin is pale, her red hair is definitely not natural. After I finish looking over her body, my eyes go to her left wrist and I smirk. Lovely little, fake redhead, I’m coming for you.
I don’t bother with unnecessary goodbyes as I stalk my way over to her. I need to let some of this frustration loose, and as soon as possible. My demons claw at my chest cavity, begging for release. Her eyes roam my body and, stopping at the leather on my wrist, she nods in acceptance and puts her cigarette out. I don’t wait for her. I don’t have to. She’ll follow. I stroll through the club with confident movements that would make most spectators weak in the knees. I’m a man on a mission.
As I get to my room and dig out my key, the fake redhead comes up behind me. No words are necessary as she waits for me to unlock the door. I nudge it open with my foot, using my hand to gesture her inside first. I am not a complete asshole. I still have some manners.
Once the door is shut and locked, I shrug out of my leather cut and walk over to the closet. I have no patience for clutter. Thankfully, I’ve learned to separate my club from my extra-curricular activities because, let’s face it, some of my brothers are fucking disgusting. After hanging up my cut, I head towards the dresser.
“What shall I call you?” My hands slide along the cold, polished surface. I don’t bother looking at her yet. I’m studying her to see if she is looking fo
r an emotional connection with her scene mate.
“Sunny, Sir.”
Good. So far, we are on the same page, but I don’t like to be called Sir. “You’ll address me as Tavis.”
“Tavis.” She repeats it slowly, making sure she gets it correct.
“Yes, Sunny. Tavis, not Travis.” My fingers continue to slowly caress the wood. “Drop your skirt and kick it over.”
The sound of her zipper sings in my ears and the demons inside me rustle about. I fling my shades off and dig the contact case out of my pocket. With my back to her, I pinch the blue lenses out of my eyes, and as I place them in their container, her leather skirt lands on the toe of one of my boots. I want her frightened, and what better way to accomplish that than showing her my soulless eyes. “Now, your corset.”
“Yes, Tavis.” She murmurs.
Her breathing picks up as I unbuckle my pants and toe off my boots and socks.
“Corset, Sunny.” My stern voice spurs her to action. “The word is simple. That word is Red. Do you have a problem with that as a safe word?”
“Red is perfect,” she breathes.
As I unbutton my black shirt, I ask her the necessary questions. “Hard limits. Go.”
“Scat, caning, permanent body modification, fire, wax, and needle play are the basics of my hard limits.”
Very good, I can work off that.
“Can I assume breath play is a soft limit?” I ask as I shrug from my shirt and place it neatly over the back of the couch.
“Yes, Tavis. For breath play, I usually respond better if my arousal is at a heightened state.”
We could delve deeper into more limits, but these are the basics needed for an easy, quick scene.
“Pain tolerance, Sunny?” I plan to use a disposable pinwheel on her. My demons are itching to press the utensil down to trail red marks along that beautiful porcelain body. It is one of my preferred tools.
“About average, as long as I’m in a heightened state. I’ll be fine, I assure you.”
I trust no one that uses the term about average to describe pain levels, so I mark that on my mental checklist. I shuck off my jeans and her breath catches again. I don’t wear boxers or briefs. Waste of time, those fuckers are. If I weren’t about to do a scene, I’d chuckle at her wide-eyed expression. I turn towards her, finally giving her the opportunity to see all of me more clearly.
Shadowing Me (Breakneck Series #3) Page 2
